Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

No matter who you are, you are someone's lolcow.

Words of wisdom. My grandfather told me something similar: Everyone is the butt of someone's joke. He may not've been particularly wise, but he was old, and that's close enough.

Can we all agree that Lucas's constant losing of his phone or his ability to connect to the internet at all, has passed ridiculous, passed comical, and entered into fucking retarded?

You would think that a homeless person, whose worldly possessions can fit into a shopping bag, would be a little bit more careful with his lifeline to the outside world.

You'd think.

I aspire to agreeableness, but I don't believe that we can attribute Lucas's recent absences solely to his retardation.

He may find it difficult to hang on to a phone, or find himself in places where he doesn't have access to one (like the laughing academy). He may find that not oversharing on the internet improves his quality of life. But he will never find "his girl."

 

[LeeLoo]

Just wanted to bring forward this old screenshot where Lucas goes down Memory Lane to his days cuddling neighborhood kids in his lap whilst babysitting (blech) and that he “used to take in runaways” (omitting the “girls” of course, but I don’t think anyone would imagine he’d take in male runaways - that’s competition!)
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Built like an NFL linebacker? JFC. I’ve never seen a person more delusional about his appearance. Linebackers aren’t 95% sagging skin and man-tits from years of gaining and losing weight. Between his notion he’s a linebacker, and his belief he’s handsome, I’d say diabetes has ruined his vision.

 

[ClownBrew]

Can we all agree that Lucas's constant losing of his phone or his ability to connect to the internet at all, has passed ridiculous, passed comical, and entered into fucking retarded?

You would think that a homeless person, whose worldly possessions can fit into a shopping bag, would be a little bit more careful with his lifeline to the outside world.

You'd think.

I have a feeling Isaac and his merry mateys have purloined all of Luke's treasures.

Clown is lucky he didn't wake up hogtied to his bed at the M6 missing not just the potatophone and the stash of sweet leaf but also his kidneys and a few bags of his plasma.

In fact...clown is lucky enough they spared his life at all.

 

[Josef Mengele]

I have a feeling Isaac and his merry mateys have purloined all of Luke's treasures.

Clown is lucky he didn't wake up hogtied to his bed at the M6 missing not just the potatophone and the stash of sweet leaf but also his kidneys and a few bags of his plasma.

In fact...clown is lucky enough they spared his life at all.

True that, he has gotten really lucky that he is not dead on multiple occasions, it feels like during COVID he has been especially lucky. The trip to LA could have easily resulted in a Skid Row murder, the COVID infection could have easily compromised his weakened immune system and sent him into respiratory distress, he could have easily stroked out or had diabetes complications resulting from his rapid weight gain within the last 3 months, he could have easily been jacked and stabbed/shot by another desperate homeless individual, he could have been targeted by a gang for flashing his cash around freely, he could have been sent to prison and having a history of hitting on teens and drawn him into an altercation at prison, he could have been denied shelter and froze to death in January/Feburary, he could have had a freakout when being arrested and gotten tased, stopping his heart rhythm. There are multiple incidents that could have resulted in a Werner fatality. Unlike a mentally sane individual who realizes they were doing something dangerous or had an unhealthy habit and remedy it, Lucas continues to engage in self-destructive behavior and continues to provoke individuals around him, eventually someone will make an example of the Wern, and that will result in the inevitable demise and locking of this thread. But hopefully he pulls through this stretch to see the info dump @DefunctGames has graciously gifted us and commences a chimpout of volcanic proportions.

 

[Loosey Goosey]

Didn't Lucas admit to doing a pretty short stay in the nuthouse not that long ago? My memory is for shit these days so I don't remember when or how long it was but it seemed like just for a week or two. Not talking about the time where he left those creepy voicemails to that catfish trying to talk suave but like a time where it seemed to catch everyone off guard a little. I kinda feel like that's where he's at right now in considering that he was spotted with phone in hand after we kinda suspected that he was robbed by other hobos again. You never know with him, but that's just my vote since he's apparently not allowed at the shelters right now. Gotta get those 3 hots and a cot someway.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Didn't Lucas admit to doing a pretty short stay in the nuthouse not that long ago? My memory is for shit these days so I don't remember when or how long it was but it seemed like just for a week or two. Not talking about the time where he left those creepy voicemails to that catfish trying to talk suave but like a time where it seemed to catch everyone off guard a little. I kinda feel like that's where he's at right now in considering that he was spotted with phone in hand after we kinda suspected that he was robbed by other hobos again. You never know with him, but that's just my vote since he's apparently not allowed at the shelters right now. Gotta get those 3 hots and a cot someway.

I love how he refers to his own stays in hospital for this reason as "suicide threats", as if even HE knows that he has no intention of actually going through with it.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Just wanted to bring forward this old screenshot where Lucas goes down Memory Lane to his days cuddling neighborhood kids in his lap whilst babysitting (blech) and that he “used to take in runaways” (omitting the “girls” of course, but I don’t think anyone would imagine he’d take in male runaways - that’s competition!)
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Its always very creepy when describing his perfect gf he calls them "girls/small/ fit right into my arms".

 

[kitty shit]

True that, he has gotten really lucky that he is not dead on multiple occasions, it feels like during COVID he has been especially lucky. The trip to LA could have easily resulted in a Skid Row murder, the COVID infection could have easily compromised his weakened immune system and sent him into respiratory distress, he could have easily stroked out or had diabetes complications resulting from his rapid weight gain within the last 3 months, he could have easily been jacked and stabbed/shot by another desperate homeless individual, he could have been targeted by a gang for flashing his cash around freely, he could have been sent to prison and having a history of hitting on teens and drawn him into an altercation at prison, he could have been denied shelter and froze to death in January/Feburary, he could have had a freakout when being arrested and gotten tased, stopping his heart rhythm. There are multiple incidents that could have resulted in a Werner fatality. Unlike a mentally sane individual who realizes they were doing something dangerous or had an unhealthy habit and remedy it, Lucas continues to engage in self-destructive behavior and continues to provoke individuals around him, eventually someone will make an example of the Wern, and that will result in the inevitable demise and locking of this thread. But hopefully he pulls through this stretch to see the info dump @DefunctGames has graciously gifted us and commences a chimpout of volcanic proportions.

My bet is Lucas is the kind of schizo hobo that just can't die. You know, like the 65 y/o heroin junkies on the subway that shoulda been dead 40 years ago. Or the 70 y/o homeless park bench alcoholic that really shouldn't have had a functioning liver since 1985.

He'll be around.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I really hope isaac stole all Lucas’s cash and materials. Lucas is an utter asshole to Isaac. He acts like he’s some king ragman feeding the poor shitty isaac who can’t even pay him back with pussy

But most, think of how many goddamn times isaac has dealt with the smelly farty hobo. I think isaac would have lost his mind with Lucas trying to act all sophisticated taking him to sushi. He’s just a grooming predator with all other humans.

Isaac, if you stole the cash, congrats. You earned it.

 

[Windex]

I know Lucas claimed that this post was written by someone else, but I do wonder if it was a rare moment of lucidity.


For this second one, can anyone remind me who he is speaking about? I think he’s referencing his brother and the brother’s GF house sitting for his Dad? Mom?, to keep Lucas out of the home while they’re away. Not sure if it’s the same person he’s accusing of reporting back to Lucas’ mom (about his FB posts, I would presume).


(inserted the screenshots I am referencing so my question makes sense, I apologize for bringing forward old screenshots again!)

 

[cigarettesalsa]

I always assumed the second was about one of his brothers

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I know Lucas claimed that this post was written by someone else, but I do wonder if it was a rare moment of lucidity.
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For this second one, can anyone remind me who he is speaking about? I think he’s referencing his brother and the brother’s GF house sitting for his Dad? Mom?, to keep Lucas out of the home while they’re away. Not sure if it’s the same person he’s accusing of reporting back to Lucas’ mom (about his FB posts, I would presume).
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(inserted the screenshots I am referencing so my question makes sense, I apologize for bringing forward old screenshots again!)

Wow! He’s not holding back at all here. I’m sitting here amazed that he admitted this. He’d probably say it was some kind of edgy humour in retrospect or deny that he said it entirely but we all know it’s true, he’s a pedo. It’s very interesting to get an insight into what he was saying and doing when he had ties to the real world and other people. Now that he’s so deep into the werncycles that drive his life and is as isolated as he is (by his own doing) he can’t get into much specific detail about his life like he used to. Reading this is so strange now knowing his mind is too deteriorated to say or write much else besides his own propaganda day in and day out. I wonder if the Wern is writing out pages in a notebook like Jack Torrance in the shining typing the same line on his typewriter over and over for endless pages. All work and no Gen Z makes the Wern a dull wizard.

Edit: The Wern will go from a Wizard to a Wraith if he makes it to age 50. At 90+ he’ll be a Necromancer, god forbid he makes it to 90.

 

[Zaz]

I've been talking to him under a burner account on IG since 2019 now, and he's had a few fairly lucid moments where he infodumps about all of his insecurities (especially around his sexuality, he is 100% bi, he's admitted multiple times that he's attracted to men as well as women and it scares the fuck out of him as he doesn't want to be seen as gay), and part of it is likely a lot of what you talked about here: His unmedicated mental illness leaves him pretty unpredictable with lashing out in conversation.

I knew he wanted to fuck Isik. He misses him when he's gone sometimes. It's too obvious.

 

[Wernology]

He might be kinda back.

Youtube deleted the full comment, but that's his The Wern account.



Edit: Web view gave a longer preview.

 

[Nobleman]

He might be kinda back.

Youtube deleted the full comment, but that's his The Wern account.

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Edit: Web view gave a longer preview.
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Im thinking he is doing the 30 minutes a day at the library.

 

[Da Dude123]

He hasn't deleted the mean Instagram comments.

 

[neutral grandpa]

I know we arent sure if he lost his phone again, but does anyone know where he has been staying recently? His money seems to be all gone and hes banned basically in every homeless shelter in spokane.

 

[ClownBrew]

I know we arent sure if he lost his phone again, but does anyone know where he has been staying recently? His money seems to be all gone and hes banned basically in every homeless shelter in spokane.

His tankie comrades have a farthouse on the other side of town. Frig only knows how. Dadsy's trust fund probably.

 

[mothman96]

His tankie comrades have a farthouse on the other side of town. Frig only knows how. Dadsy's trust fund probably.

The comrades--are you talking about Isaac and co? Last heard Isaac was at the Truth shelter.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

His tankie comrades have a farthouse on the other side of town. Frig only knows how. Dadsy's trust fund probably.

This would be amazing if true, a bunch of ADFs and Lucas living together sperging about how they are going to be the ones to ingnite the revolution. I guess this fart box doesn’t have internet or Lucas would be posting about it. Do you think he actually has tankie friends that he knows through online groups or on the street, I’m kind of skeptical.