Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Constellationzero]

Those views just might pick up if Ryann lets a few farts slip out. The wet kind. Well...maybe throw a dry one out as a "feeler" to see if her perverts fans agree.

 

[Gramlol]

Well if we see the view count for each of her videos (as of 3:25pm EST 23 april)

Episode 1 - 3,871 views
Episode 2 - 1,901 views
Episode 3 - 1,697 views
Episode 4 - 2,378 views
Episode 5 - 1,556 views
Episode 6 - 713 views
Episode 7 - 489 views
Episode 8 - 303 views

Downhill, guessing no season 2 if her podcast s work like that.

This podcast was such a bad idea, wow. I wonder if she's contractually obligated to make a certain number of episodes?
It's amazing Tess thought this would go well when she has nothing interesting to say, and likely hasn't in over a decade (if that).

 

[Law]

Kept women are in a precarious position; if their keeper loses interest, they can end up high and dry. Unlike a wife, they're not entitled to anything if the keeper calls it quits.

I'm starting to think working at Starbucks or Burger King or something would just be better. On 600 pound life there were a few people who worked, one lady was a costume designer, one dude did web design. Obviously you can be super obese and have personality issues and still earn a living without sitting on cakes for the whims of perverts.
Being an empowerful sex professional sounds like more trouble than it's worth.
Leave it to Tess and the TikTok crew to make the worst choice possible.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

This podcast was such a bad idea, wow. I wonder if she's contractually obligated to make a certain number of episodes?
It's amazing Tess thought this would go well when she has nothing interesting to say, and likely hasn't in over a decade (if that).

There is definitely a contract for a set number of episodes. Thing is, Tess does very little promotion of the show if you’ve noticed. It’s like Flabletics where she thinks it’s ok to wear the clothes once in her bedroom and that’s it. She spends more time talking about cake in one day than her shitty podcast all week. Furthermore kast media dropped her from their featured list so they’ve pretty much written her off at this point.

I'm starting to think working at Starbucks or Burger King or something would just be better. On 600 pound life there were a few people who worked, one lady was a costume designer, one dude did web design. Obviously you can be super obese and have personality issues and still earn a living without sitting on cakes for the whims of perverts.
Being an empowerful sex professional sounds like more trouble than it's worth.
Leave it to Tess and the TikTok crew to make the worst choice possible.

The “advantage” is that sex workers can pretend to be above being a burger flipper. Serving customers for $9 an hour versus farting on a cake for $250 an hour. Burger King is not going to pay well enough to pay for a nice apartment, unlimited cake and weed budget and either a new car or at least a regular rental.

Tess was a receptionist at a dentist office. With sex work, she only needs to pretend to be nice to her feeder(s) versus pretending to be nice to customers all day. Plus the dentist office probably frowns on spending all day on Instagram.

Sex work bafflingly works well for Tess and I’m going to guess that her tubby podcast guest for this week makes bank too. The world isn’t fair sometimes.

 

[Free the Pedos]

There is definitely a contract for a set number of episodes. Thing is, Tess does very little promotion of the show if you’ve noticed. It’s like Flabletics where she thinks it’s ok to wear the clothes once in her bedroom and that’s it. She spends more time talking about cake in one day than her shitty podcast all week. Furthermore kast media dropped her from their featured list so they’ve pretty much written her off at this point.

The “advantage” is that sex workers can pretend to be above being a burger flipper. Serving customers for $9 an hour versus farting on a cake for $250 an hour. Burger King is not going to pay well enough to pay for a nice apartment, unlimited cake and weed budget and either a new car or at least a regular rental.

Tess was a receptionist at a dentist office. With sex work, she only needs to pretend to be nice to her feeder(s) versus pretending to be nice to customers all day. Plus the dentist office probably frowns on spending all day on Instagram.

Sex work bafflingly works well for Tess and I’m going to guess that her tubby podcast guest for this week makes bank too. The world isn’t fair sometimes.

They’ll make a bit of money for a few years (with no benefits, healthcare, retirement) and quickly lose their appeal and be left without any marketable skills when even the feeders get tired of them. Smart sex workers do it quietly for a very short period of time as a springboard to something better. These two are not smart.

 

[Constellationzero]

The “advantage” is that sex workers can pretend to be above being a burger flipper. Serving customers for $9 an hour versus farting on a cake for $250 an hour. Burger King is not going to pay well enough to pay for a nice apartment, unlimited cake and weed budget and either a new car or at least a regular rental.

Ryann is still trying to violently ramrod her delusions that she is a Model like Linda Evangelista or Emme. She's trying to ramrod the delusion that she is an A lister, a talking head, a pundit, an activist, and leader. She labors under the delusions that eye and nose raping us with her fifty pounds of lumpy shit in a five pound Hefty bag and piggy toe splay IS, in fact, superior to working a job properly suited to her educational level, lack of employable skills, and lack of age appropriate reading level.

* Fast food makes you wear a uniform
* Classic Karen moves are to tard out at Burger King by telling the employees that they work at Burger King
* Restaurant or retail means Ryann will have a supervisor. She's too lazy and too high maintenance to work her way up

Farting into cakes and savoring the fetid, fecal splattered mixture of cake and frosting into her blowfish mouth adds a nice layer of plausible deniability and soothes her delusions. Hey--she isn't letting that guy tape audio of her wet, mud sucking farts--she's moddeling--like a moddle!
Which...technically isn't lying...

 

[tasty humane burger]

They’ll make a bit of money for a few years (with no benefits, healthcare, retirement) and quickly lose their appeal and be left without any marketable skills when even the feeders get tired of them. Smart sex workers do it quietly for a very short period of time as a springboard to something better. These two are not smart.

They also market it as being a "freelance model" as opposed making themselves an identity based on getting their bits out for weirdos.

 

[Putin Bot]

Smart sex workers do it quietly for a very short period of time as a springboard to something better.

Smart sex workers also know how to save their money, and for the really smart ones, they also get a house and a car fully payed off for them by their clients. So when the sex work ends, these women don't have to worry about housing or transport, and generally will have a nice amount of money they can live off of, or use it wisely to invest or start a business. But those type of women are the ones that can take care of themselves and plan for the future, and also have a fallback option, because they realize their time as a sex worker is limited, especially as they age.

Tess, being the white trash bitch she is, does none of this (nor is she smart). And she's pushing 40, which means it's just going to be harder to draw in clients, as they want younger, prettier, and more naive/easily controlled women. The way that she's been pushing the feeder bait lately makes me thinks she's lost a few clients, or that the clients aren't as willing to pay as much as they were originally. So she's ramping it up, hoping to attract more. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of her clients haVE warned others about her, because you know she can't hide her bitchiness and entitlement even if she's being paid to, so that's also dwindled the amount of clients who would want to be her sugar daddy.

 

[Constellationzero]

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if some of her clients haVE warned others about her, because you know she can't hide her bitchiness and entitlement even if she's being paid to, so that's also dwindled the amount of clients who would want to be her sugar daddy.

Which leads me to wonder/think that her appropriating "muh abuse!" vague posts could also refer to any of her feeders as well as--or maybe even instead of--Nick. She doesn't have any sense of self awareness or self preservation, so I can see her not thinking things through as she vaguebooks about abusive men while one of her Johns sees it and takes great offense.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

She’s directly accused Nick of abuse before though. However she never goes into detail why and it isn’t to protect him or their “family.” Tess has lied so much about everything that proof is going to be needed if she wants to plead victimhood. She lies so much that it’s unlikely she is even capable of knowing what the truth is.

 

[multiverse]

Tess shows off her gunt tattoo whilst dancing around to a song where a hoe reassures her pimp, in the apartment paid for by cake-sitting. She runs of to Las Vegas to get drunk and fat around some more- the LENGTH of her tits running into her gunt probably does not make the impression she thinks it does. Oh, and she woke up with a hangover and remembered to post for Flabletics this month - but the genius decided to hide it in her stories rather than making her contracted posts. She's back to spinning around her living room in workout clothes three sizes too small - no more Sora.

e: words

Spoiler: Fatting About

 

[Constellationzero]

WOOOOOO! Look at that porcine toe splay!

You could slap that ass and ride the waves for a week.

 

[multiverse]

WOOOOOO! Look at that porcine toe splay!

You could slap that ass and ride the waves for a week.

The toe splay looks worse than ever; I'd be shocked if she can walk in a pair of closed toe shoes any more.

Edit: I got to wondering who Ryann dumped Bowie on for this weekend's Vegas trip. Checked Jolene's instagram and did indeed see Bowie had been with her on March 23rd... but then I saw her post from Valentines Day. Not only is she still with Darren, they were scheduled to move in together in Oakland a few weeks back.

So was Rylee permitted to come over to watch his brother for the weekend? Or did Ryann dump both her kids on her ex boyfriend?

Spoiler

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

I know you've said it, but what the actual fuck

And it isn't fat stomach anymore; we're officially in the front butt category now.
Jeyzas Tess, how do you manage to grow so fast

 

[multiverse]

Tess decided to post more from her Vegas trip rather than try make her one remaining sponsor happy with work posts.

She got recognized by someone! She took bathroom selfies! She drank sugar! And ate midnight drunk pizza! And ate hangover breakfast tacos with rice and refried beans!

At her current rate of gain, she can look forward to being "recognized" at Viva Las Vegas as the parade float that used to be a moddle for 5 minutes back in 2014-15.

 

[bloomingcactus]

When I glanced at this quickly I thought she had her bottom lip way overfilled.


PS Figured I'd keep her sausage claws in for added impact.

 

[Miss Misery]

Ouch.

 

[BIG DADDY]

I hope she gets annoying comments from fellow woke scolds on how she shouldn’t be hugging people since the vaccine doesn’t protect from all the variants. Also where are her BLM posts about Makiyah? She and Olly must be having a BPD-narc feud again

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

View attachment 2119962Also where are her BLM posts about Makiyah?

Well, she retwitted some:

Also, hippocrite

 

[Poop Shoot]

Spoiler: Fatting About

View attachment 2118338View attachment 2118339View attachment 2118340View attachment 2118341View attachment 2118342

I want to find whoever installed her ceiling lights and slap them across the face.