Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[lamp shade]

Come on Nick, share your horror stories and dirt on Tess. She sure has no problem trashing you publicly!

 

[Easy Peasy]

Of all the places to get pizza, she got metro?

Trash attracts trash I guess.

I wonder where she stays when #notspon. She seems like an oyo kind of slag

 

[Tesshollidaysflupaknees]

Tess is looking rough lately. This is a new picture that Tess posted onto her twitter. It's a sponsored post for a skin care line from Tula. Tess's face looks frozen form all the fillers she has gotten. Her eyes look so small and she now has three chins. Tess looks so lifeless when she smiles.

 

[multiverse]

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Ouch.

I decided to see what these outfits look like on people.

Tess in the red bra verses people:


Tess in the long sleeve shirt and high waisted bottoms verses people :



This is the reason she's always crammed into a size 22 for this brand: that's the largest size they make for women.


But then there's this outfit where she doesn't look as strangled - though she still fails to show off the principal detail, which is the back criss cross pocket.


And then I saw that this is one of their rare pieces they make in a size 4x.



Edit: what kind of boundary-less asshole parent thinks their 4 year old is their best friend? This asshole.


Your kids should not be your equivalent of psychic kleenex, always there to support you when you're low and in need of unconditional love and attention. It's always the abusive parents who think their kids are their best friends. Until you find a new adult friend to be your best friend for a bit, then the kid gets dumped off somewhere again.

 

[NoReturn]

WOOOOOO! Look at that porcine toe splay!

I want to find whoever installed her ceiling lights and slap them across the face.

How do you guys always notice these details? It's super cool so circle back and see what my brain glossed over in favor of "WOAH Nelly look at that GUNT."

I decided to see what these outfits look like on people.

Tess in the red bra verses people:
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Tess in the long sleeve shirt and high waisted bottoms verses people :
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This is the reason she's always crammed into a size 22 for this brand: that's the largest size they make for women.
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But then there's this outfit where she doesn't look as strangled - though she still fails to show off the principal detail, which is the back criss cross pocket.
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And then I saw that this is one of their rare pieces they make in a size 4x.
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Edit: what kind of boundary-less asshole parent thinks their 4 year old is their best friend? This asshole.
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Your kids should not be your equivalent of psychic kleenex, always there to support you when you're low and in need of unconditional love and attention. It's always the abusive parents who think their kids are their best friends. Until you find a new adult friend to be your best friend for a bit, then the kid gets dumped off somewhere again.

You are spot-on with this one. Women who treat their children like friends are awful for that child's development.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Tess is looking rough lately. This is a new picture that Tess posted onto her twitter. It's a sponsored post for a skin care line from Tula. Tess's face looks frozen form all the fillers she has gotten. Her eyes look so small and she now has three chins. Tess looks so lifeless when she smiles.


View attachment 2120343

All this airbrushing (loled at her eyes, if they indeed looked like that when she squints, she would not be able to open them) but left three chins? How many were on the original photo then?

 

[Umaibae]

Oh nooooo. No one buy this heifer that house.

My spouse showed it to me the other day. the kitchen is my dream kitchen.

Anyway, it’s only $300k in Lake Arrowhead, so SURELY a SUPER RICH AND SUCCESSFUL MODEL living in a $3,500/mo LBC apartment would be able to afford such a steal?? Tess, with the money you spend, coming up with a 15% down payment should be no big deal, right??

Also, it’s a 1930s house, which means Two Ton Tess couldn’t fit through any of the door frames or make it up the stairs without getting stuck or having to rip the place apart to accommodate her massive girth. Stay in your open concept shithole, Ryann.

 

[NoReturn]

Oh nooooo. No one buy this heifer that house.

My spouse showed it to me the other day. the kitchen is my dream kitchen.

Anyway, it’s only $300k in Lake Arrowhead, so SURELY a SUPER RICH AND SUCCESSFUL MODEL living in a $3,500/mo LBC apartment would be able to afford such a steal?? Tess, with the money you spend, coming up with a 15% down payment should be no big deal, right??

Also, it’s a 1930s house, which means Two Ton Tess couldn’t fit through any of the door frames or make it up the stairs without getting stuck or having to rip the place apart to accommodate her massive girth. Stay in your open concept shithole, Ryann.

Not to go off-topic, but the housing market is an absolute clusterfuck. That house is probably going to go for closer to $400,000 with a cash buyer and no inspection.
Which is to say, Tess probably has absolutely no chance of getting it.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Tell me kiwis. Which way is she facing? Towards or back to the camera?

Jesus tess. When you get this morbidly obese that your knees have recessed so hard like many a man's penis near your company. You need to put the cakes down.

Lol at that being her dream home. Can you imagine the "I climbed the stairs" post beside the electronic dumbo lift she would need to install.

Edit clearer pic.

 

[Umaibae]

Not to go off-topic, but the housing market is an absolute clusterfuck. That house is probably going to go for closer to $400,000 with a cash buyer and no inspection.
Which is to say, Tess probably has absolutely no chance of getting it.

Lake Arrowhead isn’t a desirable area. It’s like 2.5hrs from LA in the mountains. Not talking Palm Springs here. Not close to any sort of job for 99% of people and there’s nothing hip/happening up there. Just weird old people.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Lake Arrowhead isn’t a desirable area. It’s like 2.5hrs from LA in the mountains. Not talking Palm Springs here. Not close to any sort of job for 99% of people and there’s nothing hip/happening up there. Just weird old people.

Sounds like Tess’s target market for feeders.

Tess is looking rough lately. This is a new picture that Tess posted onto her twitter. It's a sponsored post for a skin care line from Tula. Tess's face looks frozen form all the fillers she has gotten. Her eyes look so small and she now has three chins. Tess looks so lifeless when she smiles.


View attachment 2120343

There is a lot of photoshop that went into that picture. Regarding fillers, recall recently that Tess said she is unable to wink.

 

[ADHD]

Regarding fillers, recall recently that Tess said she is unable to wink.

Wouldn't that be due to Botox more than fillers?

 

[SnarkySperg]

When I glanced at this quickly I thought she had her bottom lip way overfilled.

View attachment 2118691
PS Figured I'd keep her sausage claws in for added impact.

What the fuck is wrong with her nails? I genuinely can't put my finger on it, just that something feels off.

 

[Good Hank]

What the fuck is wrong with her nails? I genuinely can't put my finger on it, just that something feels off.

For starters, the almond shape does not work on sausage fingers. She'd be better off with square shaped nails- but nooooo.

 

[Water-T]

What the fuck is wrong with her nails? I genuinely can't put my finger on it, just that something feels off.

Tess loves to wear those cheap ghetto nails even though they look like Fritos on her ham hocks.

 

[America's Giggling Gigolo]

Sounds like Tess’s target market for feeders.


There is a lot of photoshop that went into that picture. Regarding fillers, recall recently that Tess said she is unable to wink.

She looks like a Crank Yankers puppet in this photo.

 

[Flawmil]

Tess has been acting super unhinged on Twitter.


Olly seems annoyed by it.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I’m not surprised that someone who is living several lies has bouts of instability. Before anyone jumps in and proposes this harebrained idea, no, there is zero possibility Tess will have any self-reflection or make some badly needed changes to her life. This comes off like a narc fit where they are making a fool of themselves just to get more attention.

 

[Flawmil]

I’m not surprised that someone who is living several lies has bouts of instability. Before anyone jumps in and proposes this harebrained idea, no, there is zero possibility Tess will have any self-reflection or make some badly needed changes to her life. This comes off like a narc fit where they are making a fool of themselves just to get more attention.

Tess is never responsible for her actions or emotions. It’s always someone else’s fault or the fact that she’s a cancer Solitaire moon rising and the moon is at a 45 degree angle.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Tess has been acting super unhinged on Twitter.
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Olly seems annoyed by it.
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I think she's stressing about her podcast not being an immediate hit like she assumed it would be. She's really pushing it on her Instagram right now, but for some reason, doesn't post on the Slumber Party with Tess Instagram. Plus her favorite nemesis, Ashley Graham, is killing it right now - several high profile gigs, hosting the Ellen show, working with actual big name brands - and Tess feels like it should be her instead of Ashley.