Condom catheters are external male urinary catheters that look like a condom with a tube coming out of them. In an ideal world, where you were putting them on young men with reasonably-sized penises and no prostate issues, they'd work pretty well.
In practice, they're pulled off/wiggled off by demented men, or they just flop off of shriveled 80-year-old penises, or they roll up into themselves when a fat man's buried penis hides back in the fat pad again. Some of them have adhesive involved to counter this, but you're still trying to stick a floppy, wet piece of flesh into a taut sleeve. To sum up: implementation issues.
I met a woman who was the caregiver for both of her demented parents. Sometimes this happens out of love and devotion, sometimes from needs must, and sometimes this is the last stage of a family psychodrama that has been brewing since the 1960s and getting weirder every year.
This was probably the latter. She used a condom catheter for her incontinent father, and had developed a multi-stage routine for keeping the catheter on her dad's elderly penis, which she wrote out longhand for staff to follow inpatient. From memory:
- evert her dad's penis
- skin prep/adhesive on Dad's penis, hold while it dries
- single layer of roll gauze on shaft
- more adhesive, hold Dad's penis while it dries again
- Coban over gauze
- adhesive on Coban; at this point, her dad's penis was like a little papier-mache penis and didn't need to be held into shape, although you did have to keep his hands off of it
- apply condom catheter
- more Coban
In her defense, it worked pretty well, although I'm pretty sure most people don't spend that much time thinking about/hands on their dad's penis on the daily. Anyway, the implementation of the condom cath looked like a smaller version of this Frankendick's fuckmode, enough to stir the neurons to tell you all this awful tale.
