Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

You know, Fabletics should drop her, there's a much better option for targeting her same demographic:

Spoiler

Her moon madness is reflected on TikTok
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Her happiness is dependent on her fucking Starbucks?

Like all narcs, she's got the emotional processing capacity of a toddler.

 

[Putin Bot]

You know, Fabletics should drop her, there's a much better option for targeting her same demographic:

Spoiler

Her moon madness is reflected on TikTok
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Maybe it's because I'm high and have been drinking, but Tess's voice seriously sounds like a troons.

Also, the red cheeks confirm she is a boozer. I've been around plenty of alcoholics (and myself after a booze binge) to see the obvious tell tale signs. The blood vessels in the skin burst due to the dehydration and lack of moisture, because drinkers don't care to drink water, usually coupled with a shitty diet. Even when the body tries to fight this by producing oil, the cheeks are too big of a surface to counteract the redness, so you get the redness and shininess all in one!

Goddamn, I only hope that Tess is a happy drunk, because narcissists can get quite nasty when they are drunk, and I can seriously see her verbally abusing Bowie when she gets plastered. And she obviously needs a large amount of booze to get to drunk levels.

 

[Easy Peasy]

My only constant say something nice about Tess is I do really like her hair color, so kudos to whomstever is doing the color. Otherwise shes devolved into a circus sideshow. She actually used to be pretty fun to follow. It was right after the shirt debacle that it really started going downhill.

She did a video with cherry doll face about plus size rockabilly fashion and yeah, lol fat, but she came off as pretty nice and likeable. Also about 150+ elbees ago

https://youtu.be/cPTTlRE4_CQ

 

[Refrigerator Poet]

Oh wow, my depression is cured, it's just the full moon! Thanks for letting me know, Tess, you're a genius.

This made me physically cringe. It looks so painful, wtf. Is she one of those 'beauty is pain' people?

I suspect her entire life is pain, beauty or not. It can’t be comfortable living in that body.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

The ass seam in those leggings is hanging on for dear life. If it lets go, someone's gonna lose an eye.

And is it me, or does her rear end look really weird here?

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

The ass seam in those leggings is hanging on for dear life. If it lets go, someone's gonna lose an eye.

And is it me, or does her rear end look really weird here?

That ray of light makes it look like she has 3 ass cheeks.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

The ass seam in those leggings is hanging on for dear life. If it lets go, someone's gonna lose an eye.

And is it me, or does her rear end look really weird here?

That's just her back titties confusing your view

 

[Internet's Boyfriend]

You know, Fabletics should drop her, there's a much better option for targeting her same demographic:

Spoiler

Her moon madness is reflected on TikTok
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I'm glad she subtitles her tiktoks because I cannot stand her voice.

I love that she's talking about loving yourself as is when she's constantly photoshopping her photos, lying about her dress size, and faking things like freckles and curly hair to seem less bland.

The stick figure drawing hugging her cup was cute though, wish it happened to someone nicer.

The ass seam in those leggings is hanging on for dear life. If it lets go, someone's gonna lose an eye.

And is it me, or does her rear end look really weird here?

Please put the buns away, Tess.

This photo is so awful and tacky. Firstly because there is nothing appealing about Tess's ass, but also because it's just so blatant. Even thots have the decency to at least have another reason behind the picture like idk doing that cool thot squat they always do or something, like there's other shit in the picture than just their ass. This is like a picture you'd sext to someone.

 

[multiverse]

This is a skincare ad, but all I see is how enormous she is. Even her forearms have puffed up to the point of obliterating her wrists. And she's as wide as a damn barge. I don't even notice her skin...


... which is abloom with broken capillaries and swollen to all get out


And of course she's on the mailing list for a bunch of crappy snack food. Hence the width.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

This is a skincare ad, but all I see is how enormous she is. Even her forearms have puffed up to the point of obliterating her wrists. And she's as wide as a damn barge. I don't even notice her skin...
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... which is abloom with broken capillaries and swollen to all get out
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And of course she's on the mailing list for a bunch of crappy snack food. Hence the width.
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More stories for junk food than for her ad for a skincare company
Oh well

 

[Cheesegirl78]

This is a skincare ad, but all I see is how enormous she is. Even her forearms have puffed up to the point of obliterating her wrists. And she's as wide as a damn barge. I don't even notice her skin...
View attachment 2126134

... which is abloom with broken capillaries and swollen to all get out
View attachment 2126136

And of course she's on the mailing list for a bunch of crappy snack food. Hence the width.
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This is kids snack food, you think she would have more adult tastes.

 

[NoReturn]

This is kids snack food, you think she would have more adult tastes.

So here's a thing I learned.
Children don't have a limit to how much sugar they can consume before they consider something to be too sweet (Article), but this "ability" goes away when we reach adolescence. There's an exception to this, though. If you consistently eat taste-saturated foods (e.g. High in sugar or salt; the base tastes, not "flavor") your brain will adjust to that level so things like fruit will not taste as sweet as they would to someone who eats a normal diet, and you might not be able to taste the sweetness of vegetables at all.
Basically, if Tess regularly eats shit like this, she's fucked up her sense of taste.

 

[Barbarella]

Dunkaroos is to put in your 7 year old’s lunch, omg, I’ve never heard of an adult eating them.

People call her voice Valley Girl but in all my time in the valley, I’ve never heard anybody talk like that. I think I’d call it “throwback 90s twink.”Or maybe “forever on the F list”, as a couple of famous people’s kids have that affectation. It’s not in wide use a lung regular people, , thank god.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Dunkaroos is to put in your 7 year old’s lunch, omg, I’ve never heard of an adult eating them.

People call her voice Valley Girl but in all my time in the valley, I’ve never heard anybody talk like that. I think I’d call it “throwback 90s twink.”Or maybe “forever on the F list”, as a couple of famous people’s kids have that affectation. It’s not in wide use a lung regular people, , thank god.

She sounds very nasally to my untrained ear, almost a NY/Jersey accent, but not quite. I can't place it.
Definitely not a California accent.

 

[HamFan]

This is a skincare ad, but all I see is how enormous she is. Even her forearms have puffed up to the point of obliterating her wrists. And she's as wide as a damn barge. I don't even notice her skin...
View attachment 2126134

... which is abloom with broken capillaries and swollen to all get out
View attachment 2126136

And of course she's on the mailing list for a bunch of crappy snack food. Hence the width.
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Is she on the "secret snack squad" because she's a famous influencer, or because she orders A Lot of Dunkaroos?

 

[Flawmil]

Tess translation: “ I’m worried about my Instagram engagement so here’s a photo of me pretending not to care about my Instagram engagement. “

 

[Black ContraPoints]

Tess translation: “ I’m worried about my Instagram engagement so here’s a photo of me pretending not to care about my Instagram engagement. “
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I pulled up the picture and put my hand over the lower half of her face, and man, those eyes just scream something I can't quite put into words. Like she's just one coffee spill away from kicking her cat out of all her pent-up frustrations.

 

[NoReturn]

I pulled up the picture and put my hand over the lower half of her face, and man, those eyes just scream something I can't quite put into words. Like she's just one coffee spill away from kicking her cat out of all her pent-up frustrations.

Cropped and flipped it becomes even more obvious

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I pulled up the picture and put my hand over the lower half of her face, and man, those eyes just scream something I can't quite put into words. Like she's just one coffee spill away from kicking her cat out of all her pent-up frustrations.

The look of someone living so many lies and floating on so much bullshit that it’s so close to crashing all around her. We’re probably going to see her unhinged posts in greater frequency: once it was because of the full moon, next time it is because Mercury is in retrograde, etc. Maybe a return of those videos where she is blubbering in a parking lot somewhere. Those were always entertaining.

So many of her friends turned rivals are doing so well in life while Tess’s dumb podcast and her life in general is struggling like Tess trying to cram into some Flabletics leggings.

 

[bloomingcactus]

Her hairline is on the way out. I wonder if that's why she hasn't been wearing it up in that high tight ponytail?



The over lined lips the wtf eye look... She looks like she's on something. Or just faking it and trying to make it. Tess you're past your prime and a bitch. Learn to say sweetly "would you like fries with that?"