Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[MeganDodgedABullet]

At least Lucas hasn’t converted to Islam so he can martyr himself to attain 72 virgins in paradise. Fun fact in the Quran it’s a popular misconception, scholars found there is a mistranslation between the word virgin and raisin. So instead suicide bombers get a handful of raisins.

Spoiler: Virgins mistranslation

“Nowhere in the Quran does it promise 72 virgins, 70 virgins, 48 virgins. … The Arabic word for ‘virgin’ has been mistranslated. The original [word] that was used in the Quran was the word for raisin, not virgin. In other words, that martyrs would get raisins in heaven, not virgins,” Manji said.

“The Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get ‘hur,’ and the word was taken by early commentators to mean ‘virgins,’ hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant ‘white’ and was commonly used to mean ‘white grapes’,” Kristof said.

Christoph Luxenberg (pseudonym), a scholar who pioneered such research, said in an e-mail interview with Kristof that the reference to grapes made more sense in the context as Islam’s holy book Quran compares them to pearls and crystals and that paradise is described as abounding with fruits mostly white grapes.

I was just thinking he has much in common with those fat autist neckbeards who converted to islam and went abroad ( pity not all of the white trash mongs got killed).

 

[Wernology]

The Wern is on a commenting spree today, and a few of them didn't get auto-deleted!

First, from this video, we have (bonus: If you ever wonder why I like using hyperbole and borderline clickbait in titles, it's because he falls for it as often as he falls for catfish: Every time.):

Sadly, these three gems were auto-deleted so we don't get the full, unhinged rant but I am now apparently homeless and on meth. If that ain't some world class projecting from The Wern...

I have no idea what "hypocrite for AOC" means but ok.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

The Wern is on a commenting spree today, and a few of them didn't get auto-deleted!

First, from this video, we have (bonus: If you ever wonder why I like using hyperbole and borderline clickbait in titles, it's because he falls for it as often as he falls for catfish: Every time.):
View attachment 2134780

Sadly, these three gems were auto-deleted so we don't get the full, unhinged rant but I am now apparently homeless and on meth. If that ain't some world class projecting from The Wern...

I have no idea what "hypocrite for AOC" means but ok.

View attachment 2134785

Further proof that Lucas's accusations of people using drugs are meaningless.

Accusations like this are what make me doubt that there ever was any drug dealing in Lucas's apartment building.

Not that people at this level of poverty can't use drugs, and do, of course. It's just that I doubt Lucas's ability to ascertain drug use correctly from situational clues, and I doubt that Lucas would have any real knowledge of the differences between use and dealing of different sorts of drugs.

Add that to the fact that he seems to materialize drug use up out of pure fantasy and wish fulfillment when he's upset at someone, and you get the result that anything he ever mentions about drugs is highly suspect.

Lucas is like a little boy: when he gets angry he says what he wants to be true, and wishes desperately for it to be so.

One of the things you'll hear from Lucas the most often when criticizing people is that "nobody likes (them)". He insisted that nobody liked Chris Hansen.

After Dan Eisenberg discounted Lucas's references to his work, Lucas cooked up the fantasy that Dan Eisenberg was a racist, who said the n word in his classes, who was "pedantic", (another word Lucas doesn't understand by the way, and one of the ones he uses the most frequently despite not understanding, along with "acerbic"), and a professor whom "no one liked".

He said that the Geek Room had promised to not invite back any of the people who criticized him.

This was pure fantasy, they've made no such promise, and several people from The Geek Room individually pointed this out after he made this statement.

When Lucas is upset at someone, he wants to add force to his anger, so he creates a ghost army, a "royal we", made up of people around him that he's met and interacted with, and some phantoms, to give strength to his opinions.

But to lucas, all of the people that he disagrees with fit into one big basket. They're all republicans, they all wear flat bill caps, they all smoke meth, they're all greedy, etc etc etc.

He's a boring little boy.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas is a bundle of sticks

Lucas is a bundle of sticks, lucas likes skulking around in the woods.....

Rare image capture of zoomer bae when she came upon lucas in the woods one night:

If he can't eat it or fuck it, it's not going to hold his interest for long.

To quote vertical limit: if he sees something he tries to fuck it, if he can't fuck it he eats it, if he can't eat it he pisses on it

That said, goldaor missed a golden opportunity back when he sent lucas that DS, to send him a fedora to go along with it. I can just imagine him walking around town now wearing filthy, torn up hospital pants for weeks along with a tattered fedora

Sadly, these three gems were auto-deleted so we don't get the full, unhinged rant but I am now apparently homeless and on meth. If that ain't some world class projecting from The Wern...

I have no idea what "hypocrite for AOC" means but ok.

He sure loves to blatantly project. Where the hell is he getting the idea that you're homeless? ffs he is homeless, so even if you were he's the last person who should be pointing that particular finger

 

[mothman96]

The Spokane Freak got his SSI yesterday. "If" he was without a phone, he would have had time by now to get a new one.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

While it is true that Lucas has not converted to Islam, he does put out tons of Islamic content. Some of his content would make Muhammad himself blush.

And we know that Lucas would think Muhammad is attracted to him because he blushed.

 

[ClownBrew]

The Wern is on a commenting spree today, and a few of them didn't get auto-deleted!

First, from this video, we have (bonus: If you ever wonder why I like using hyperbole and borderline clickbait in titles, it's because he falls for it as often as he falls for catfish: Every time.):
View attachment 2134780

Sadly, these three gems were auto-deleted so we don't get the full, unhinged rant but I am now apparently homeless and on meth. If that ain't some world class projecting from The Wern...

I have no idea what "hypocrite for AOC" means but ok.

View attachment 2134785

This whole thing is weird lately. Why is he suddenly backcombing through all these old videos from the library? Why hasn't the potatophone been replaced yet? What's going on with his classist millennial payee? And most importantly...where is he staying?

 

[Serialmom]

This whole thing is weird lately. Why is he suddenly backcombing through all these old videos from the library? Why hasn't the potatophone been replaced yet? What's going on with his classist millennial payee? And most importantly...where is he staying?

Well I'm sure his tugboat came in.

 

[Da Dude123]

Well I'm sure his tugboat came in.

Maybe he wasn't able to make it to his payee Friday? If I am not mistaken, he gets handed a check and cashes it in the check cashing store and waddles around with cash in his pocket. As we know, he likes to show it off like a true oligarch.

Lucas loves his tugboat port calls and I have a hard time believing he would be late to one. But who knows?

 

[Josef Mengele]

Why is he suddenly backcombing through all these old videos from the library? Why hasn't the potatophone been replaced yet?

Maybe King Roy called the internet lumberjack to chop it down! But in all seriousness, Lucas has either just bought the new phone, missed his washout period and will wait till next week, or is trying to hide from the infodump released by @DefunctGames, his trespass case, him wearing hospital pants, and the fact that he was either irresponsible and lost his phone/money or that he got robbed by Isaac/Izik. I really hope he pops up soon, he is my favorite cow and not having him here makes me sad.

 

[Wernology]

Maybe King Roy called the internet lumberjack to chop it down! But in all seriousness, Lucas has either just bought the new phone, missed his washout period and will wait till next week, or is trying to hide from the infodump released by @DefunctGames, his trespass case, him wearing hospital pants, and the fact that he was either irresponsible and lost his phone/money or that he got robbed by Isaac/Izik. I really hope he pops up soon, he is my favorite cow and not having him here makes me sad.

If he really is staying at a tweaker house, it wouldn't surprise me if he got robbed the instant he started flashing cash again.

Hell he wouldn't even have to do that, he likes bragging about his "free money", chances are every tweaker hobo in the place knows when and where he gets paid and were waiting for him.

 

[Serialmom]

Maybe he wasn't able to make it to his payee Friday? If I am not mistaken, he gets handed a check and cashes it in the check cashing store and waddles around with cash in his pocket. As we know, he likes to show it off like a true oligarch.

Lucas loves his tugboat port calls and I have a hard time believing he would be late to one. But who knows?

I forgot he had a payee. Most recipients have a card loaded with bennies.

 

[ClownBrew]

Well I'm sure his tugboat came in.

Yeah, today was Firsa Da Munt after all...but usually he's already back online and posting his word-salad rap-drops on the same day. Right about now we should be seeing him rolling around in bed licking a party platter of 50 burritos and hollering about marxizzum already.

Something is really off here.

 

[IceQueen]

While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.

 

[WonderWino]

While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.

You left out the obvious one: unwashed

 

[Particle Bored]

While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.

You left out the obvious one: unwashed

Unwiped. Drop it and dip.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.

Unmedicated, unhinged, unkind, unsavoury, untrustworthy, unbalanced, unaccountable, unprincipled, unappealing, undateable, unfuckable, unreal, unenlightening, undisciplined, unwise, unreliable. Under a bridge unable to realize how he fucked it all up for himself.

Edit: Unwiped is the best though that just paints the worst picture in those baby blue hospital pants.

 

[Loosey Goosey]

The Spokane Freak got his SSI yesterday. "If" he was without a phone, he would have had time by now to get a new one.

Well I'm sure his tugboat came in.

Maybe he wasn't able to make it to his payee Friday?

Something is really off here.

Come on guys, I think it's obvious what's happened. All those countless hours of professing his love to an entire generation, showing off how woke he is, his amazing cooking skills and all the "impressive" meals he eats, the zoomers finally gave in to lust and lined up to thrust. Lucas isn't posting anymore because he drowned in the pussy.

Spoiler: What really happened to Lucas

 

[Da Dude123]

I was hoping the cow would emerge this weekend and go back to accusing others of bigotry and telling everyone how he is plenty good. Also, how you like Bernie Sanders, well you should like fat ugly hobos. But no! Just some comments on a YouTube video.

Come on, Lucas. Where you at, you cow? Did you get swindled out of the tugboat? If he did then that tard needs to be wrangled. He really does probably need to be in a home for the exceptional.

 

[Serialmom]

Hey Wern save some zoomer poon for the rest of the guys.