Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Stilgar of Troon]

wat

What kind of board games is he playing?

Obscure, shit ones that no one but him and a few other sweaty neckbeards care about, most likely.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Obscure, shit ones

I'm thinking they're ones that are deliriously complex, trying to be elaborate computer games IRL.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

wat

What kind of board games is he playing?

Ultimately, none.

Remember, Lucas doesn't have interests like normal people.

His professed interest in board games, when he had a fart box to store them in, was just about hoarding, and trying to make himself seem interesting and intellectual to an audience that he mistakenly thought had an interest in board games.

Yeah. There's not too much crossover in the neckbeard boardgame demographic, with the sexy, large breasted, pro-anal-torture teenie crowd.

As far as we can tell, he never played a single one of the games he bought.

Sure, after people commented that he hadn't even opened them, he made a few half-assed videos, supposedly unboxing them, but you could tell from his descriptions, and his attempts at translating the rules to his own abominations like Cafeteria Uprising, that he didn't understand the rules and concepts of any of these games.

There's no room in Lucas's mind for complicated, nuanced concepts like strategy boardgames, as much as he would like to pose as someone with that interest.

If he can't eat it or fuck it, it's not going to hold his interest for long.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

If he can't eat it or fuck it, it's not going to hold his interest for long.

Board games are the only thing in life he can theoretically win at. It’s funny how he has to gloat about his past game victories and how complex the rules are in all of these videos. I bet he’s a sore loser, he was saying he whooped so much ass that his friend quit playing him, when most likely it was just that.

 

[AngelOfDeath]

Lucas if you read this, please take a little of the advice. 1 stop flashing your money. 2 stop loosing your phone. 3 try to find someone to love you, but stop doing it in the most creepiest fashions. 4 maybe purchase a cheaper backup phone and a card so you have a backup if shit hits the . Lastly ffs wait til late and go far out into the wood. Mark your way and bury some emergency cash ina few ziplock bags. Dig hole. Money>dirt>go get some sod from an area close but not to close by and cover your bare earth. I came to the farms for shitlips, but have stayed for lucas...

 

[Twrx]

Just one of the MANY reasons hed be a horrible dad. No self control, no responsibility, instead of focusing on his mental health and diabetes, finding a new housing situation, maybe get camping gear since he is kicked out of shelters hed rather blow it on food and ree online about puss puss. He acts like hed make a good "house husband" but we've seen how he cleans (he doesnt). I remember the story where his ex was fixing a fence outside alone while he sat his fat ass inside.

While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve

By doing less, mind you, agephobes, grey beards and the young women who worship at the twin altars of youth entitlement bigotry and money.Conversation Our Ag...

youtu.be

This video alone immediately displays how incapable of maintaining anything about a living situation is completely beyond his grasp. I've honestly tried to figure out just what the hell he means by "I bundled up sticks", and not only what he means by that, but also what about bundling sticks up is going to make cops let him just ignore an order of protection.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve

By doing less, mind you, agephobes, grey beards and the young women who worship at the twin altars of youth entitlement bigotry and money.Conversation Our Ag...

youtu.be

This video alone immediately displays how incapable of maintaining anything about a living situation is completely beyond his grasp. I've honestly tried to figure out just what the hell he means by "I bundled up sticks", and not only what he means by that, but also what about bundling sticks up is going to make cops let him just ignore an order of protection.

Clearly if you walk around the yard and grab some twigs before mowing that makes you the man of the house and the cops should kick the woman (who actually owns and pays for the place) out.

And it's definitely not his fault that he specifically went to his ex's workplace after the no-contact order. I mean, it was only a short walk away, how could anyone resist?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Clearly if you walk around the yard and grab some twigs before mowing that makes you the man of the house and the cops should kick the woman (who actually owns and pays for the place) out.

And it's definitely not his fault that he specifically went to his ex's workplace after the no-contact order. I mean, it was only a short walk away, how could anyone resist?

And he went there, according to him, to tell her to "fuck off".

Uh-huh.

I think Suzanne might report this incident a WEE bit differently, more like Lucas sobbing and shrieking with a snotty nose about how she should take him back. Begging. He would be good; things would be different this time. He would clean more; heck, he would even remember to clean his pooper. I promise! Suzanne! Suzanne! You bitch! I love you, you bigot bitch!

(and, *scene*)

You know, like he did with the "Mac & Cheese & Jizz" lesbian couple who showed him the door, then sand-blasted the walls of his wankroom.

 

[Vi0l3t]

While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve

By doing less, mind you, agephobes, grey beards and the young women who worship at the twin altars of youth entitlement bigotry and money.Conversation Our Ag...

youtu.be

This video alone immediately displays how incapable of maintaining anything about a living situation is completely beyond his grasp. I've honestly tried to figure out just what the hell he means by "I bundled up sticks", and not only what he means by that, but also what about bundling sticks up is going to make cops let him just ignore an order of protection.

The damn water stain behind him, lmfao. I agree

 

[Fatal Walter]

Lucas is a bundle of sticks

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

And he went there, according to him, to tell her to "fuck off".

Uh-huh.

I think Suzanne might report this incident a WEE bit differently, more like Lucas sobbing and shrieking with a snotty nose about how she should take him back. Begging. He would be good; things would be different this time. He would clean more; heck, he would even remember to clean his pooper. I promise! Suzanne! Suzanne! You bitch! I love you, you bigot bitch!

Pretty much.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Pretty much.
View attachment 2133825

"i still love you"

"your gonna burn in hell for what you did to me!"

What did she even do to him? after he throws a glass at her because as he put it he didn't find her attractive anymore she breaks up with him and gets a restraining order. I'm really not sure how else he could have expected that to play out

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Warms my coal-black heart too see Wern getting blasted in the @klickitat comments.

Big ups to "Tong We Hao" on the youtube for tagging #bumcel and #notinthecards whenever fatty turns up ....

also: isn't a bundle of sticks an early fascist symbol. Something like a fasciolo in Italian?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

If he can't eat it or fuck it, it's not going to hold his interest for long.

Sounds like an animal.

Mental illness really screwed him over, didn't it?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

It's so very Lucas to volubly profess atheism, while simultaneously damning people to hell.

He loves the idea of being better than the dumb christians, but he REALLY loves the concept of eternal punishment for those who disobey Lucas.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

atheism

A very bleak worldview: in it Werner had one shot at existence, and he spends it in the life of Werner before the eternal void.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

A very bleak worldview: in it Werner had one shot at existence, and he spends it in the life of Werner before the eternal void.

At least Lucas hasn’t converted to Islam so he can martyr himself to attain 72 virgins in paradise. Fun fact in the Quran it’s a popular misconception, scholars found there is a mistranslation between the word virgin and raisin. So instead suicide bombers get a handful of raisins.

Spoiler: Virgins mistranslation

“Nowhere in the Quran does it promise 72 virgins, 70 virgins, 48 virgins. … The Arabic word for ‘virgin’ has been mistranslated. The original [word] that was used in the Quran was the word for raisin, not virgin. In other words, that martyrs would get raisins in heaven, not virgins,” Manji said.

“The Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get ‘hur,’ and the word was taken by early commentators to mean ‘virgins,’ hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant ‘white’ and was commonly used to mean ‘white grapes’,” Kristof said.

Christoph Luxenberg (pseudonym), a scholar who pioneered such research, said in an e-mail interview with Kristof that the reference to grapes made more sense in the context as Islam’s holy book Quran compares them to pearls and crystals and that paradise is described as abounding with fruits mostly white grapes.

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

At least Lucas hasn’t converted to Islam so he can martyr himself to attain 72 virgins in paradise.

If he did i could picture him showing up in the afterlife looking for his 72 virgins then finding 71 other guys who all act similarly to him and a very disappointed terrorist

 

[Da Dude123]

At least Lucas hasn’t converted to Islam so he can martyr himself to attain 72 virgins in paradise. Fun fact in the Quran it’s a popular misconception, scholars found there is a mistranslation between the word virgin and raisin. So instead suicide bombers get a handful of raisins.

Spoiler: Virgins mistranslation

“Nowhere in the Quran does it promise 72 virgins, 70 virgins, 48 virgins. … The Arabic word for ‘virgin’ has been mistranslated. The original [word] that was used in the Quran was the word for raisin, not virgin. In other words, that martyrs would get raisins in heaven, not virgins,” Manji said.

“The Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get ‘hur,’ and the word was taken by early commentators to mean ‘virgins,’ hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant ‘white’ and was commonly used to mean ‘white grapes’,” Kristof said.

Christoph Luxenberg (pseudonym), a scholar who pioneered such research, said in an e-mail interview with Kristof that the reference to grapes made more sense in the context as Islam’s holy book Quran compares them to pearls and crystals and that paradise is described as abounding with fruits mostly white grapes.

While it is true that Lucas has not converted to Islam, he does put out tons of Islamic content. Some of his content would make Muhammad himself blush.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

At least Lucas hasn’t converted to Islam so he can martyr himself to attain 72 virgins in paradise. Fun fact in the Quran it’s a popular misconception, scholars found there is a mistranslation between the word virgin and raisin. So instead suicide bombers get a handful of raisins.

Spoiler: Virgins mistranslation

“Nowhere in the Quran does it promise 72 virgins, 70 virgins, 48 virgins. … The Arabic word for ‘virgin’ has been mistranslated. The original [word] that was used in the Quran was the word for raisin, not virgin. In other words, that martyrs would get raisins in heaven, not virgins,” Manji said.

“The Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get ‘hur,’ and the word was taken by early commentators to mean ‘virgins,’ hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant ‘white’ and was commonly used to mean ‘white grapes’,” Kristof said.

Christoph Luxenberg (pseudonym), a scholar who pioneered such research, said in an e-mail interview with Kristof that the reference to grapes made more sense in the context as Islam’s holy book Quran compares them to pearls and crystals and that paradise is described as abounding with fruits mostly white grapes.

I would Alahu Snackbar for 72 Raisinets.