Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[jspit2.0]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

Me: "Life is really fucking bleak right now. Wonder what Bob's up to?"

Bob: "Virginia GOP governor's look like Middle America!!!"

Me: "Oh my, life is bright again"

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

It's just more of how his "people' deserve preferential treatment for being the good guys.

It's mean to call me out for being hideous because I'm a good guy, but it's morally correct to do it to the bad guys.

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Bob apparently thinks he would be a mayo ghoul Adonis.

View attachment 2144948

Dear Hillbillies,

Shit's great up in the Superior Northeast.

Yours truly,

Adonis and Family

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Dear Hillbillies,

Shit's great up in the Superior Northeast.

Yours truly,

Adonis and Family

View attachment 2145432

Is it just me or does Blob look photoshopped into that picture. Anyways:

It's just more of how his "people' deserve preferential treatment for being the good guys.

It's mean to call me out for being hideous because I'm a good guy, but it's morally correct to do it to the bad guys.

I'm honestly surprised nobody's posted this classic yet:

 

[make_it_so]

Is it just me or does Blob look photoshopped into that picture. Anyways:

I'm honestly surprised nobody's posted this classic yet:
View attachment 2145445

That picture needs to be used more whenever people get into Twitter slapfights with this clown. That, and a reminder that as a grown-ass man he wrote that Mario was his friend and that he wanted to escape to the Mushroom Kingdom.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

That picture needs to be used more whenever people get into Twitter slapfights with this clown. That, and a reminder that as grown-ass man he wrote that Mario was his friend and that he wanted to escape to the Mushroom Kingdom.

Or why not do both?

 

[Quixotic Man]

Dear Hillbillies,

Shit's great up in the Superior Northeast.

Yours truly,

Adonis and Family

View attachment 2145432

I love that picture. Every time I look at it, I notice something more run down and ramshackle. Its like the houses you would explore as a kid that no one had lived in for five years, but this one actually has terrifying monsters inside.

 

[Apotheosis of the Liver]

Why does every single nerd want to be the ‘Idea Guy’? I’ve met tons of people who want be the ‘Idea Guy’, and they’re were all idiots like Bob.

The funny thing about ideas, is that skilled people get them to. They don't need some asshole to give them a half baked idea "What if we do cars, but this time they're planets". They already have a folder of their own ideas that they know aren't good, can't get done, or simply are to busy finishing an actual project.

They have to edit a book, and can't waste a week writing a script for a video essay on why Ben 10 encapsulates the American dream.

 

[jspit2.0]

Dear Hillbillies,

Shit's great up in the Superior Northeast.

Yours truly,

Adonis and Family

View attachment 2145432

Who's that on the right? Because they look too normal to have Chipman genes...

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

Who's that on the right? Because they look too normal to have Chipman genes...

Bob and Chris's little sister, who presumably was left on the doorstep.

 

[jspit2.0]

Bob and Chris's little sister, who presumably was left on the doorstep.

So not bio-Chipman. Explains everything.

 

[blablabla]

Dear Hillbillies,

Shit's great up in the Superior Northeast.

Yours truly,

Adonis and Family

View attachment 2145432

pick your favorite moment of this picture: im bob chipman retarted eyes and austistic face

momma chipman seems like a nice lady shame she didnt try harder with her retarded piece of shit pig of a son

 

[Koby_Fish]

Yep. I may have some issues with him as a writer but Lucas has my full respect as a director because that dude WORKED HIS ASS OFF.

I'm trying to decide how cruel it would be to dig through the archives and inform you...

There are not enough for this tweet.

please do dig through those archives. I must have missed them.

 

[make_it_so]

Dear Hillbillies,

Shit's great up in the Superior Northeast.

Yours truly,

Adonis and Family

View attachment 2145432

Bob doesn't look very happy in that picture.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

When Bob's next video is an incoherent mess it won't be his fault.

That 15 hours is probably spread over 3 days to be fair.

---

...eww

Can anyone confirm this? I've never played any of the Dragon Quest games and know nothing about this one but judging by the trailer it's Dragon Quest in Minecraft. I'm having a little trouble believing this is virtual Precious Moments skinimax. Bob not only is THE Consummate Consoomer but a coomer to boot so maybe he is in the know?

Bob doesn't look very happy in that picture.
View attachment 2145671

It's one of those rare moments when he went to a cook out and no one made his plate for him

 

[blablabla]

When Bob's next video is an incoherent mess it won't be his fault.
View attachment 2145667
That 15 hours is probably spread over 3 days to be fair.

---

...eww
View attachment 2145687
Can anyone confirm this? I've never played any of the Dragon Quest games and know nothing about this one but judging by the trailer it's Dragon Quest in Minecraft. I'm having a little trouble believing this is virtual Precious Moments skinimax. Bob not only is THE Consummate Consoomer but a coomer to boot so maybe he is in the know?

It's one of those rare moments when he went to a cook out and no one made his plate for him

he probably was angry he had to come to visit family for food instead of staying in his basement jackin off like the retarded inbred pig that he is

 

[Adamska]

Right then, a new day has been going on for a while. Time to ruin it by reading this manifesto. It's legitimately a miracle Bob has not become a spree killer yet; it's a testament to how much of a goddamn pussy who hides behind others he is.

To date, I don’t know that there’s ever been a more perfect symbiosis of hardware and software in the history of gaming as “Super Mario 64” and the Nintendo 64; as though everything about the machine had been designed solely to optimize this one perfect game.

Here's Bob talking about how this hole was made for Bing Bing Wahoo 64. In reality it's more the other way around; Mario wanted to show off what the N64 could do.

As it turned out, that might have been part of what went wrong. The N64 was made to showcase Nintendo’s self-developed first-party marvels, and everyone else was just going to have to fall into line.

In reality, Bob chooses to ignore that Nintendo's obsessive control over 3rd party developers, combined with burning them at least two to three times, was why they lost a lot of them during this period.

Probably because Bob vicariously pins his own triumphs with the things he pins himself to. You'll definitely see more of that later in this pile of shit.

Unfortunately for Nintendo, while they were busily consumed with crafting Miyamoto’s 3D masterpiece, the world had changed.

Translation: Nintendo's decision to lie to their 3rd party developers about their console's performance specs twice and intentionally nuking their CD peripheral when they were making and designing the concept is about to kick their shit in.

Also nice forgetting about the other launch titles like Pilotwings 64. Again proving that Bob really only cared about Bing Bing Wahoo.

So after gurgling out details about the rise of CD as a storage medium, overselling the fuck out of Miyamoto for the N64's creation, and then poopooing it because he stupidly thinks that's the big reason Nintendo got backstabbed by their 3rd party developers, Bob spews this out:

Developers who had been aching to bring the power of PC games to consoles were aghast at this. Unlike times before, however, they had a viable escape option: Sony was only too happy to have them, and a sea-change was signaled when Squaresoft announced that Final Fantasy—a mega-popular RPG franchise that had always lived under the Nintendo umbrella—was jumping ship to Sony for its seventh installment.

Bob picks the one company that actually had great reasons to ditch Nintendo and he picks the one reason why they didn't leave them.

Squaresoft has been burned several times by Nintendo already. The first snub came when they were making Final Fantasy IV. Basically Nintendo didn't have full dev tools for the SNES at the time, and overpromised what the machine could do. Square then used those original stats to plan out FF4's story, but then had to cut out half of that plot when they got the dev kit. Pretty sure they used these lost ideas for After Years and Interlude.

But what ultimately made them despise Nintendo was when they backstabbed Sony and cancelled SNES-CD for the CDi. They spent months designing what they considered to be their magnum opus for the CD expansion, since it would not have fit on the SNES. This game? Secret of Mana. Square had to remove 3/4ths of the plot and designs when this happened, and while half of that removed content would eventually lead to Chrono Trigger, they were very angry at the wasted time, money, and the mutilation of their game.

This was why at the time, they moved all their handheld games to the Wonderswan; the N64 only proved to them that they'd get burned again and they said fuck that, leaving for Sony. Sony was so effective at pilching Nintendo's 3rd party crew BECAUSE they worked with them when the CD was being designed. Basically Nintendo made its worst enemy.

Anyways, back to Bob:

For a time, veterans of the first Console War like myself tried to mount a vain, halfhearted defense (more out of nostalgia for the last conflict than passion for this one), but the writing was on the wall. “Final Fantasy VII” became an instant, generation-defining classic, more and more longtime Nintendo developers bailed from the Good Ship Mario, and it soon became clear that the hemorrhaging of games and gamers from Nintendo was not going to stop.

Reminder that Bob was a sophomore or Junior in high school at this point. And oh hey, fat boy had to admit that FF7 was a killer app for the PS1. Remember when he said they didn't have one?

Instead of being the beginning of a new era, “Super Mario 64” wound up being Mario’s last big “traditional” game for a while—his only adventure title (outside of the offbeat RPG “Paper Mario”) on the N64.

Here's a statement that's pretty retarded. Bob lets slip that the Mario to him is just Bing Bing Wahoo; if it isn't a platformer, then it isn't a "big" Mario game. He gets more into that with later gen consoles and when he remembers handheld games are a thing.

That part's gonna be funny.

and—perhaps most importantly—“Super Smash Bros,” a fighting game whose roster was comprised of Nintendo characters: an idea I was hoping someone would execute for as long as I’d been gaming.

Of course "Bookish Bob", channeling a Bing Bing Wahoo strategy guide while writing this segment, is a Smash fag. So yeah include him there, especially since he kind of mentions that Melee is the one he played the most.

But by then reality was crystallizing: my brother and I had a Playstation and even the ill-fated Dreamcast, and even I had to concede that the wait between worthwhile N64 games was just too long. Even for me, The Nintendo Age was over.

Bob cries slightly at the idea he had to buy a Dreamcast AND PS1 just to play all them Nintendo games that left the company. Also because he's such a crackhead devotee that the N64 didn't release games to consoom quickly enough for him.

Meanwhile I very much was fine with my N64, as was the average weirdo online.

So the next chapter is called "A Decade in Darkness", which... fucking kek.

I don’t know that there was an exact moment in time when I effectively stopped playing video games, I just know that it happened. I don’t recall a single moment when I simply said “I’m done,” especially since I never really fully quit cold turkey.

Much like how the NES came to him in a creepypasta'esque "it just happened", his loss in interest "just happened". In reality Bobby was probably crying that Nintendo slid behind the Xbox.

Also fucking lol at Bob again comparing consooming product to snorting coke with that analogy.

All I can say for sure is that at one moment the vast majority of my free time was spent playing, reading about, and thinking about video games… and then it wasn’t anymore.

Even as an adult, Bob spent most of his life envisioning being in Bing Bing Wahoo and other smoothbrained thoughts.

Reading about the launch of Nintendo Power’s America Online site was my introduction to the concept of internet chat rooms and message boards – and it spurred me (and, with some nudging, my family) to finally get a good internet connection so that I might use them.

Here's Bob tantruming at mommy and daddy until they got good internet. Reminder Bob was a full grown man when he did this.

Also, again note the only reason he got serious internet is purely due to Nintendo. What a homo.

I devoured the world of the early Internet, particularly gaming sites. The hours once spent replaying my favorite games were replaced by hours of chatting and arguing about new ones. A new normal of gaming developed in my house: I learned about games, and my younger brother and sister did the playing.

I'm honestly shocked no one EVER highlighted this. This right here is proof this fat stupid baby doesn't read, touch, or play a lot of the shit he gurns on about. This right here is him admitting he fakes his nerd cred.

My other Internet fixation, movie sites, had reawakened my other geek passion for filmmaking in a major way. For the first time I had a career path that seemed more attractive and more plausible than game design: get into the movies. Writing, directing, special effects, maybe even criticism—just get into the movies.

You know, this brings up a question for me: Did Bob ever seriously try to make a movie? I don't think he did. Brad Jones did. The RLM guys did. Reviewers like Critical Drinker are more writers, but he made books.

Even Linkara made his own godawful comics AND a movie.

But Bob? Besides some teen short films, apparently not. So passionate, much film love. Wow.

Thing is, as much as I was leaving games behind it felt as though they were also leaving me behind. Gaming was rapidly changing from a geek subculture to something like the mainstream, and with more of my attention diverted elsewhere I recognized it less and less every time I looked.

Bob reveals that he didn't like how games opened up and changed. Reminder this fat retard earlier in the book desperately wanted it to be mainstream because he delusionally believed it'd make him normal and popular. Also reminder this fat retard is obsessed with being on the cutting edge.

Even Nintendo wasn’t the Nintendo I’d grown up with. They had a new cash cow, “Pokemon,” which had crossed over into a mainstream phenomenon bigger and faster than Mario ever had; to a new generation of gamers, Pikachu—not Mario—was the face of the medium.

Bob gets sad that Pikachu does what Mario don't.

Bob talks about how his rapidly becoming the worst Chipman brother Chris had a Gamecube and he didn't, and he only lists the Bing Bing Wahoo games for it rather than the other good shit on there, like the best take of RE4, and Wind Waker.

I played and enjoyed these games, but whether it was them or me the spell was well and truly broken—I just didn’t have the burning desire to come back.

Bob is sad that Xbox beat the Gamecube in sales or something. Also it isn't Bing Bing Wahoo 3 or something.

Instead, my college and film pursuits filled my time. Working at Blockbuster (and then Suncoast Video, and then Blockbuster again) helped me channel my growing film vocabulary into a useful job skill, but more importantly it afforded me the ability to make friends of coworkers.

Bob talks about how working for two chains that murdered the Rentals scene gave him the ability to babble out cinema terms he almost certainly no longer remembers and how it made him feel smarter than the parents who'd rent Waterboy.

Also like his repulsive brother Chris, Bob's main friends are the Blockbuster guys.

These turned out to be the most genuine and lasting friendships I’d had in my life thus far, and a particular assemblage of pals culled from that first Blockbuster job became a posse of like-minded movie buffs with whom I started an independent filmmaking outfit—today, several of them are frequent collaborators in the production of “The Game OverThinker.”

Bob reminds us he used to do the Game OverEater, which for those curious ended two years after this book was written. Also Bob tries to hide these people were probably the first actual friends he had.

A second collection of friends came from Suncoast, and it was through them that I wound up reviving a small sliver of my gaming life after several years going cold (or, at least, lukewarm) turkey.

Again, Bob shows that consooming for him is a massive drug fix that probably makes him coom. He probably realized that he does still need to tone down the weird religious experiences he has with it too.

Hanging out with them, the frequent activity of choice was firing up one of the GameCube “Mario Party” titles (the series reached 7 installments during its time on the Cube) or the game that had turned out to be the system’s most enduring title: “Super Smash Bros. Melee,” an improvement on the original whose potency as a Nintendo nostalgia-injection was even effective on an abstainer like me.

Here's Bob being a melee fag. He's about right for it given his melted fat look and sex pest behavior tbh.

Here's him also probably realizing for the first time that multiplayer games with other people are actually really fun.

the GameCube had failed to make a real impact in a market now dominated by a new Console War between Sony’s Playstation 2 and Microsoft’s Xbox (An American console?? What madness was this?), but it was thriving as the console of choice for party games like these.

Bob again proves he has a fucked mental lens and tries to force that lens on the whole world rather than just him. His parents should've kept him in therapy.

To a generation of younger gamers picking up the Cube habit from the college-age older siblings, Mario and company were becoming better known as the fighting roster of “Melee” than as heroes of their own games.

I guess Sunshine doesn't exist. I guess Air Ride doesn't exist. I guess Wind Waker doesn't exist. Bobby only knows Kick Punch Wahoo: Autist Edition.

Anyways we now get into Bob describing how he got on local cable access TV. In short, some random guy he never knew wanted to leave flyers at the Blockbuster, and Bob, for once trying to actually use his degree, got into an interview with him when he said no to the flyers.

I was hired to do the show along with this person and a female co-host. The resulting show was… what you’d expect from local cable, but it was exposure and a chance to work on my “craft,” such as it was.

Reminder that Bob never tried to seriously make any short films and probably uses Game OverEater and his Escapist shit as his portfolio.

At least Brad Jones and Mike and Jay tried to use their degrees.

I was the colorful member of the team, the younger guy with the wild opinions and the deeper film knowledge.

And now you know how he sees himself in real life. This is why he should get therapy, but he won't since he doesn't believe in it... for himself.

I’d never gotten much of a sense that anything was especially “off” about the guy running the show. I knew he was fairly conservative politically – ex-military and an ex-cop – but it had never come up in any kind of negative way.

Here's Bob both proving he's bad at reading the room and intentionally poisoning the well against this guy he worked with like 10+ years ago.

So anyway, Bob then goes into how he got fired from the show. Now I will admit that it is actually quite believable that both are crazy in this scenario. I can also believe Bob was lying his fat fucking ass off. So with that in mind, I'll be a lazy jack ass and let you decide; here's the whole story, given some formatting to make it more digestible:

I’d never gotten much of a sense that anything was especially “off” about the guy running the show. I knew he was fairly conservative politically – ex-military and an ex-cop – but it had never come up in any kind of negative way.

But upon the release of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of Christ” and the controversy surrounding it something seemed to change in him. I was fairly certain both co-hosts knew that I’d seen the film and hadn’t cared for it, and expected it would make a good show when we sat down to review it. Instead, I got a phone call, and an unnervingly scary life experience.

My employer (though, for the record, I wasn’t technically being “paid” for my services on the show) summoned me to a “meeting” in his van, in an empty parking lot early in the morning. He did freelance security work (or he said he did, at least), and was “on the job.” This set off more red flags than I could count, but I showed up to meet him.

He presented me with a printout of a scathing blog review I’d posted after seeing the film the first time, and wanted to know what I had “against Jesus Christ.” Unwisely, I offered that my objection was to the anti-Semitism in the film and was told “Those people had ‘Schindler’s List,’ now this is our turn”… I was then told that he would be using the “Passion” discussion as an occasion to promote the film’s “positive message,” and that if I wouldn’t go along (by saying I liked the movie) my time on the show would be over.

So yeah, which of the two possibilities do you think is the right one?

1. Bob wrote his usual braindead and inflammatory bullshit on Passion, and the show runner, being a devout Christian, did not like his comments online and fired him when Bob refused to back down?

2. Bob and the show runner were both lunatics. Bob was his usual ogrish self, and the Show Runner went batshit fundie over Bob tipping his fedora and being a fucking asshole?

I leave it to you guys.

And that was that. I never heard from the guy again, but I know his show didn’t last long without me. I’m told he’d behaved in a manner (because it’s hearsay I won’t get into specifics) that disturbed the production staff during the taping of the “Passion” episode, and that my name had come up, which had me walking around more than a little paranoid for a few weeks; but nothing ever came of it.

Here's Bob applying delusion to the show. Now admittedly in scenario 2 I can believe it, but I can also just see the show being shit and was about to get cancelled anyway too. So again, did Bob get fired right before the show died due to poor views, or was it a mutual crazy destruction?

my ongoing friendship with a coworker from the first Blockbuster was able to finagle me a job with him at Best Buy, where I soon found myself moved from a morbid grind in the appliances department (“Yes, we can swap the hinges on that fridge.” “Yes, the ice-maker needs to be hooked up to a water supply”) to the DVD, music and video-games department that was in those days the profit-driving centerpiece of any big electronics store.

Here's Bob being full of shit after admitting he got into Best Buy on a nepotism hire.

Appliances and computers were the main reason these stores made so much money; it's to the point removing the Appliances section killed Circuit City.

But of course his unhealthy and mentally ill obsessions are clearly the money makers.

By then I’d been selling movies for almost a decade, and while my time away from the medium left me a little shaky on the names and faces (who were all these people and creatures on the Xbox and PS2 boxes?) the skill set translated to selling games pretty handily.

Boomer Bob doesn't know what a Jak and Daxter or a Jet Set Radio Future is, but he surely is a great salesman because he's Bob.

After Bob openly admits he only ever bums games with his Blockbuster friends, and that his own consoles are hidden in a closet, there's this line:

But gaming had changed in my absence, and one of those changes had been that the console in your room was no longer the sole home of the “serious” gamer… and this change had been led by some old friends.

Of course ignoring that casual games came out way before Nintendo made them. Because Bob only cares about Bing Bing Wahoo.

I don’t think I ever came right out and said “I’m done with Mario,” but even if I had… ιƚ ƚυɾɳҽԃ συƚ ԋҽ ɯαʂɳ’ƚ ԃσɳҽ ɯιƚԋ ɱҽ.

And I leave you with this eldritch response.

So that sucked. I'm going to do something new now.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Bob doesn't look very happy in that picture.
View attachment 2145671

You'd look that sullen too, if you were the only one at a family holiday dinner - in a string of holiday family dinners - with no "+1". I mean, that photograph screams Bob's incel status. Never mind not having a plate made for him, look at every family photograph we've got our hands on that includes Bob. Not one of them include a +1. And this particular photo was taken when his father was still alive.

I'd be more surprised if somewhere, out there, maybe 20 years ago, there's a photo of Bob with his family at the holidays, with him actually having a "+1".

I'd love to know how that picture was taken, though. By someone putting the camera on auto?

 

[UserAccess]

Bob doesn't look very happy in that picture.

Smiling family: Happy Thanksgiving!
Bob: Republicans *exist.*

 

[blablabla]

selling videogames?

Right then, a new day has been going on for a while. Time to ruin it by reading this manifesto. It's legitimately a miracle Bob has not become a spree killer yet; it's a testament to how much of a goddamn pussy who hides behind others he is.


Here's Bob talking about how this hole was made for Bing Bing Wahoo 64. In reality it's more the other way around; Mario wanted to show off what the N64 could do.

In reality, Bob chooses to ignore that Nintendo's obsessive control over 3rd party developers, combined with burning them at least two to three times, was why they lost a lot of them during this period.

Probably because Bob vicariously pins his own triumphs with the things he pins himself to. You'll definitely see more of that later in this pile of shit.

Translation: Nintendo's decision to lie to their 3rd party developers about their console's performance specs twice and intentionally nuking their CD peripheral when they were making and designing the concept is about to kick their shit in.

Also nice forgetting about the other launch titles like Pilotwings 64. Again proving that Bob really only cared about Bing Bing Wahoo.

So after gurgling out details about the rise of CD as a storage medium, overselling the fuck out of Miyamoto for the N64's creation, and then poopooing it because he stupidly thinks that's the big reason Nintendo got backstabbed by their 3rd party developers, Bob spews this out:

Bob picks the one company that actually had great reasons to ditch Nintendo and he picks the one reason why they didn't leave them.

Squaresoft has been burned several times by Nintendo already. The first snub came when they were making Final Fantasy IV. Basically Nintendo didn't have full dev tools for the SNES at the time, and overpromised what the machine could do. Square then used those original stats to plan out FF4's story, but then had to cut out half of that plot when they got the dev kit. Pretty sure they used these lost ideas for After Years and Interlude.

But what ultimately made them despise Nintendo was when they backstabbed Sony and cancelled SNES-CD for the CDi. They spent months designing what they considered to be their magnum opus for the CD expansion, since it would not have fit on the SNES. This game? Secret of Mana. Square had to remove 3/4ths of the plot and designs when this happened, and while half of that removed content would eventually lead to Chrono Trigger, they were very angry at the wasted time, money, and the mutilation of their game.

This was why at the time, they moved all their handheld games to the Wonderswan; the N64 only proved to them that they'd get burned again and they said fuck that, leaving for Sony. Sony was so effective at pilching Nintendo's 3rd party crew BECAUSE they worked with them when the CD was being designed. Basically Nintendo made its worst enemy.

Anyways, back to Bob:

Reminder that Bob was a sophomore or Junior in high school at this point. And oh hey, fat boy had to admit that FF7 was a killer app for the PS1. Remember when he said they didn't have one?

Here's a statement that's pretty retarded. Bob lets slip that the Mario to him is just Bing Bing Wahoo; if it isn't a platformer, then it isn't a "big" Mario game. He gets more into that with later gen consoles and when he remembers handheld games are a thing.

That part's gonna be funny.

Of course "Bookish Bob", channeling a Bing Bing Wahoo strategy guide while writing this segment, is a Smash fag. So yeah include him there, especially since he kind of mentions that Melee is the one he played the most.

Bob cries slightly at the idea he had to buy a Dreamcast AND PS1 just to play all them Nintendo games that left the company. Also because he's such a crackhead devotee that the N64 didn't release games to consoom quickly enough for him.

Meanwhile I very much was fine with my N64, as was the average weirdo online.

So the next chapter is called "A Decade in Darkness", which... fucking kek.

Much like how the NES came to him in a creepypasta'esque "it just happened", his loss in interest "just happened". In reality Bobby was probably crying that Nintendo slid behind the Xbox.

Also fucking lol at Bob again comparing consooming product to snorting coke with that analogy.

Even as an adult, Bob spent most of his life envisioning being in Bing Bing Wahoo and other smoothbrained thoughts.

Here's Bob tantruming at mommy and daddy until they got good internet. Reminder Bob was a full grown man when he did this.

Also, again note the only reason he got serious internet is purely due to Nintendo. What a homo.

I'm honestly shocked no one EVER highlighted this. This right here is proof this fat stupid baby doesn't read, touch, or play a lot of the shit he gurns on about. This right here is him admitting he fakes his nerd cred.

You know, this brings up a question for me: Did Bob ever seriously try to make a movie? I don't think he did. Brad Jones did. The RLM guys did. Reviewers like Critical Drinker are more writers, but he made books.

Even Linkara made his own godawful comics AND a movie.

But Bob? Besides some teen short films, apparently not. So passionate, much film love. Wow.

Bob reveals that he didn't like how games opened up and changed. Reminder this fat retard earlier in the book desperately wanted it to be mainstream because he delusionally believed it'd make him normal and popular. Also reminder this fat retard is obsessed with being on the cutting edge.

Bob gets sad that Pikachu does what Mario don't.

Bob talks about how his rapidly becoming the worst Chipman brother Chris had a Gamecube and he didn't, and he only lists the Bing Bing Wahoo games for it rather than the other good shit on there, like the best take of RE4, and Wind Waker.

Bob is sad that Xbox beat the Gamecube in sales or something. Also it isn't Bing Bing Wahoo 3 or something.

Bob talks about how working for two chains that murdered the Rentals scene gave him the ability to babble out cinema terms he almost certainly no longer remembers and how it made him feel smarter than the parents who'd rent Waterboy.

Also like his repulsive brother Chris, Bob's main friends are the Blockbuster guys.

Bob reminds us he used to do the Game OverEater, which for those curious ended two years after this book was written. Also Bob tries to hide these people were probably the first actual friends he had.

Again, Bob shows that consooming for him is a massive drug fix that probably makes him coom. He probably realized that he does still need to tone down the weird religious experiences he has with it too.

Here's Bob being a melee fag. He's about right for it given his melted fat look and sex pest behavior tbh.

Here's him also probably realizing for the first time that multiplayer games with other people are actually really fun.

Bob again proves he has a fucked mental lens and tries to force that lens on the whole world rather than just him. His parents should've kept him in therapy.

I guess Sunshine doesn't exist. I guess Air Ride doesn't exist. I guess Wind Waker doesn't exist. Bobby only knows Kick Punch Wahoo: Autist Edition.

Anyways we now get into Bob describing how he got on local cable access TV. In short, some random guy he never knew wanted to leave flyers at the Blockbuster, and Bob, for once trying to actually use his degree, got into an interview with him when he said no to the flyers.

Reminder that Bob never tried to seriously make any short films and probably uses Game OverEater and his Escapist shit as his portfolio.

At least Brad Jones and Mike and Jay tried to use their degrees.

And now you know how he sees himself in real life. This is why he should get therapy, but he won't since he doesn't believe in it... for himself.

Here's Bob both proving he's bad at reading the room and intentionally poisoning the well against this guy he worked with like 10+ years ago.

So anyway, Bob then goes into how he got fired from the show. Now I will admit that it is actually quite believable that both are crazy in this scenario. I can also believe Bob was lying his fat fucking ass off. So with that in mind, I'll be a lazy jack ass and let you decide; here's the whole story, given some formatting to make it more digestible:

So yeah, which of the two possibilities do you think is the right one?

1. Bob wrote his usual braindead and inflammatory bullshit on Passion, and the show runner, being a devout Christian, did not like his comments online and fired him when Bob refused to back down?

2. Bob and the show runner were both lunatics. Bob was his usual ogrish self, and the Show Runner went batshit fundie over Bob tipping his fedora and being a fucking asshole?

I leave it to you guys.

Here's Bob applying delusion to the show. Now admittedly in scenario 2 I can believe it, but I can also just see the show being shit and was about to get cancelled anyway too. So again, did Bob get fired right before the show died due to poor views, or was it a mutual crazy destruction?

Here's Bob being full of shit after admitting he got into Best Buy on a nepotism hire.

Appliances and computers were the main reason these stores made so much money; it's to the point removing the Appliances section killed Circuit City.

But of course his unhealthy and mentally ill obsessions are clearly the money makers.

Boomer Bob doesn't know what a Jak and Daxter or a Jet Set Radio Future is, but he surely is a great salesman because he's Bob.

After Bob openly admits he only ever bums games with his Blockbuster friends, and that his own consoles are hidden in a closet, there's this line:

Of course ignoring that casual games came out way before Nintendo made them. Because Bob only cares about Bing Bing Wahoo.

And I leave you with this eldritch response.

So that sucked. I'm going to do something new now.

so this pig wrote that in seriousness? or its a joke? i ask because piece of shit over here has gotten really cagey about his personal life after the shit food that he posts or when is broken mind told him to post about his non existent sex life