I’m trying to get out of a family reunion. How do I get on a ‘no fly list?’

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I am really tired of dealing with the politicsperging from my Aunt Karen and Uncle Kevin. How can I avoid the family reunion this July? I’m thinking of trying to get on a no flight list. Any recommendations on the best way to go about it?

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

I just get out of these social commitments by bashing my head into a wall until I fall unconscious. You wouldn't believe how effective it is.

 

[Smug Chuckler]

Join IP2.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

1. Make a facebook profile and a google profile, provide as much accurate data as possible.
2. Make a post starting with "selling", a shitton of drug names in the middle (wikipedia may be useful for this), and a bunch of penis pill salesman shit at the end like "best price in Tennesee"
3. Use google.com to find a gunsmithing guide on the internet, download it. Make no alterations.
4. Post excerpts (text) and also the whole file on facebook, link it via google drive.
5. Do 3-4 but for a meth cooking guide.
6. Do 3-4 but for an explosives-related guide.
7. Post a mujhadeen video on facebook.
8. Once you get here, you were certainly flagged as a terrorist by several automated tools in use by the NSA and you will certainly be added to any and all no fly lists.

Thanks, that’s exactly what I needed.

 

[Just Dont]

Just say you have COVID-19 you stupid idiot, is the perfect excuse.

 

[Solid Snek]

Yeah, I'd say covid is the simplest and best excuse.

You could also claim your Uncle raped you; that way, no one will blame you if you stay home.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Yeah, I'd say covid is the simplest and best excuse.

You could also claim your Uncle raped you; that way, no one will blame you if you stay home.

Maybe I could set up a patreon

 

[Solid Snek]

Maybe I could set up a patreon

Yeah, run with it! Once you MeToo your Uncle, the only limit is your imagination.

Low effort, gets you out of the reunion, you stay the "Good Guy", and if you want you can milk the story for money. It's a little harder than claiming covid since you're bound to get assholes saying you were asking for it, but if you're willing to put in the extra work, I honestly think it'd be the most profitable plan.

 

[wopirish]

Could just not wear a mask on the plane and get your happy ass kicked off. Sure you'd be banned from the airline and out a couple hundred but you wont have to go.

 

[stares at error messages]

I am really tired of dealing with the politicsperging from my Aunt Karen and Uncle Kevin. How can I avoid the family reunion this July? I’m thinking of trying to get on a no flight list. Any recommendations on the best way to go about it?

Go and tell your relatives that politics is a conspiracy invented by kikes to make the {insert your race here} poor.