Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[tasty humane burger]

Yeah, having the whales prance around in swimsuits is apparently A Thing amongst the harpooning crowd.

Spoiler: Thar She Blows

View attachment 2178758View attachment 2178759

Anyway. Ryann is still fat and gross and it's a miracle anyone wants her to sit on cakes. She'd kill to be invited to the yacht party crowd events, but she's a whiny bitch who can't charm anyone.
View attachment 2178768

Imagine Tess trying becoming temporary besties with all that crowd. She wouldn't last. Too trashy and loud.

Also kinda like the outfit, would look cute on someone with a true hourglass figure, someone with a tiny waist and wide hips with a big butt, add a white baseball cap with her hair tied back in a statement scrunching and high top wedge trainers...

Although I can also imagine small(tall) fat Junkie Luna Slater wearing it and making it look cheap and grimy as fuck.

 

[multiverse]

View attachment 2178846Eww! Looks like something was too tight and she got chaffed pulling it on or off.

Lol, press F for that poor face slimming app. Also, she's growing a hunchback of pure lard. It's always fascinating to see where it all ends up on a deathfat.

 

[Flawmil]

Tess is so unhinged right now. She made the ultimate cringe tiktok. So many great screenshot opportunities.

 

[multiverse]

Tess is so unhinged right now. She made the ultimate cringe tiktok. So many great screenshot opportunities.
View attachment 2179033

She looks like a blowsy, bloom is way off the rose, saloon madam from the old west who furiously eats her feelings about not being young and pretty anymore, and takes her ire out on the young waif heroine. [In the spirit of a dimestore bodice ripper novel written at a 4th grad level]

 

[NoReturn]

Tess is so unhinged right now. She made the ultimate cringe tiktok. So many great screenshot opportunities.
View attachment 2179033

 

[Easy Peasy]

Doing a little autism, that ticktok hash tag is related to a contest that romwe (Chinese fast fashion) is doing where winners get $500 So is she mining the tags for attention or is she mining the tag for $500



Eta: thank you based janny for fixing the image. Am mobile fag. K love you!

 

[Cheesegirl78]

A supermodel? Where?
Where are your many magazine covers? Your cosmetics and clothing campaigns? Who uses you as their muse?

What multiple successful businesses do you have? Do you count each feeder that pays you to fart on cakes as a "successful business"?

You say you work out five days a week? Seizing on the floor and walking to your refrigerator does not equal a workout, Tess. Neither does waddling to the door to let your DoorDash driver in.

 

[Little Dark Age]

There are a bunch of dumb Tess quotes on this quote website. Most of them we've heard before (the "black men love me" one is there, lol), but it cracks me up to read them in the context of a site you'd usually go to for quotes from a philosopher or writer. Imagine using the social media share buttons to let everyone see...this, I guess


Thanks Tess that's great to know

 

[melty]

So is she mining the tags for attention or is she mining the tag for $500

It's called multitasking sweaty, only supermodels with multiple successful businesses will understand.

 

[tasty humane burger]

Can we call her out on endorsing shit fast fashion brands like ROWME that steal designer's work, dropship, destroy the environment and use sweatshops? Not very ethical of our woke Kween.

Or will she use the pOoR pEoPlE nEeD cLoThEs ToO excuse with simultaneously selling (mostly) fast fashion and used gym clothes for $$$ on Depop?

(I don't personally feel strongly about fast fashion, I try and avoid it but hey if it's cute and cheap then I might buy it...just using it here because Tess and Co should be outraged by it)

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Multiple successful businesses? MULTIPLE?! BITCH WHERE?!

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

Did she watch that trailer for No More Heroes 3 where at the end, the villain looks at the camera and says, "I'm a goddamn superhero."

 

[Refrigerator Poet]

I'm rlly disappointed in the mainstream media that refuses to call bs on the anorexia shit. It's ridiculous.

I’m disappointed they covered it at all. Should have fucking ignored it.

Totally possible. I'll bet half the staff hate her guts for making the clothes look awful and constantly lying about their sizing.

BTW, look at her calf. LOOK AT IT. How is that a calf?
View attachment 2177832

And you can see her underwear through the animal print monstrosity, again because it is Way. Too. Small.
View attachment 2177834

Ooo I am not sure she’s actually wearing anything under those pants.

Lol, press F for that poor face slimming app. Also, she's growing a hunchback of pure lard. It's always fascinating to see where it all ends up on a deathfat.
View attachment 2179023

Scoliotic humps are a thing. And so are what they call “dowager humps.” Idk what the difference is, but I do know that this is not that. If you touch a scoliotic hump, it’s bone, from the malformation of the spine. It’s hard, and if anything were to get pinched up in back straps like those other pics show, It would be skin. It would not look like that. That hump has enough lard in it to allow her to traverse the desert and not get thirsty.

 

[multiverse]

View attachment 2179094
View attachment 2179131

Looooooooooool

A "supermodel" who hasn't had a campaign with a major (plus size, not real fashion) company since December 2018? A "supermodel" whose last cover - in the lifestyle mag where she paraded her abused children around - was in 2019?

It's been over 3 years since your last significant client and cover. You got a pity invite to model for a minor LDBGTWTFBBQ line's fashion week events - no party invites - and bombed spectacularly on the runway.

No client has EVER invited you back.

You aren't a model, you're a hooker. You know it, we know it, everyone knows it. Go peep your podcast views if you want to see your real engagement numbers. No one likes you.

 

[Constellationzero]

Tess is so unhinged right now. She made the ultimate cringe tiktok. So many great screenshot opportunities.
View attachment 2179033

How many of Jim Henson's finest Muppets died to make this, uh...thing?

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

I said it before, but her "clapping back" at people who she clearly thinks are nobodies, is a dead giveaway she ain't got shit going on for her.

 

[Flawmil]

Can we call her out on endorsing shit fast fashion brands like ROWME that steal designer's work, dropship, destroy the environment and use sweatshops? Not very ethical of our woke Kween.

Or will she use the pOoR pEoPlE nEeD cLoThEs ToO excuse with simultaneously selling (mostly) fast fashion and used gym clothes for $$$ on Depop?

(I don't personally feel strongly about fast fashion, I try and avoid it but hey if it's cute and cheap then I might buy it...just using it here because Tess and Co should be outraged by it)

Tess uses trending hashtags for clout on tiktok. Even her videos talking about her “eating disorder” have trending hashtags so she can up her engagement. Our gorl has been worried about her engagement on social media thus the recent anorexia diagnosis.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Multiple successful businesses? MULTIPLE?! BITCH WHERE?!

She farts on cakes AND pies.

 

[Angry New Ager]

View attachment 2179094
View attachment 2179131

I haven't been watching The Behavior Panel's videos about body language for very long, and I don't have time to closely analyze Tess's body language in this video, but hoo boy, she is shifty as fuck in this one.

And now I'm triggered, because I have seen this exact same, "You can't even criticize me; I'm so much better than you" shit from too many Narcs before. If I was putting together clips of how Narcs deal with criticism, this would have to be in it, it's just classic.

And no, Tess, you're not a supermodel. A super-sized model? Sure. But if you really were a supermodel, you'd be wearing custom Versace to red carpet events, instead of Eloquii. And frankly, you aren't even wearing Eloquii any more, as you've burned that bridge.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Tess is so unhinged right now. She made the ultimate cringe tiktok. So many great screenshot opportunities.
View attachment 2179033

Is she Anna’s level drunk? Oh just annoyed to an end? This is io childish “My dad can beat your dad” thing, just about herself. But I definitely feel Glitterz vibe multiplied by signature arrogance.

There are a bunch of dumb Tess quotes on this quote website. Most of them we've heard before (the "black men love me" one is there, lol), but it cracks me up to read them in the context of a site you'd usually go to for quotes from a philosopher or writer. Imagine using the social media share buttons to let everyone see...this, I guess
View attachment 2179179

Thanks Tess that's great to know

Galaxy brainy quotes.