Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Water-T]

Oy vey

Spoiler: Added some terror from the same stories

Le Tattoo
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Its friend Le Hoof
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Le Gunt in Le “Panties” (does she buy underwear two sizes small as well?)
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Party of Le Hungry Back, Le Shoulders, Le Arms and Le Hump
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Le Transparent Ass
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AW LORD SHES COMING
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Look at this face.
LOOK AT THESE HANDS!!1
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I can take comfort in knowing that Tess flirts with the possibility of a heart attack just from the sheer effort it takes to shove her sausage arms and legs in outfits way too small for her. It also gladdens me that she edges closer to losing digts or even a limb because these too tight outfits cut off her already inhibited circulation.

All this so she can latch on to the last sponsor that'll put up with her bullshit. You know she's name dropping Elloqui hard because she's hoping they'll notice the brief 15 minutes of fame her "anorexia" reveal netted her, and take her back again.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Thank you for the laughs. That leopard print. The top is the definition of hog tied.

I don't have much to add that hasn't already been said but why does she not wear appropriate sunscreen on her face? It makes her eyes even more piggy and look even more ridiculous with her sunglasses mark.

A model is their looks and face skin is one of the keys to that. Everyone knows that sun damage is very bad for skin quality. Even normal women who are not vain, know to take care, not just for health but the damage it does aesthetically. No one thinks looking like an allergic reaction is a good look. Tess is a fair skin deathfat who never sees the outdoors because that's effort and she always need aircon. It would be some sort of morbid irony that skin cancer would first take her tattoos and then her.

 

[maggots]

She scares me. That tiktok video, damn. She’s just a big, scary woman bullying anyone who dares to question her. What a clown she is.

Sort of late but her “natural” hair just looks ratty- a Trailer Trash Tammy look alike. It’s as if she just sprayed Aquaphor or Tresseme hairspray all over wet, not throughly washed hair and let it air dry.

She claims her hair texture is “natural” but nothing about it is. It looks greasy, clumps together and I spy some dandruff. Too many years of hot tools have made her “natural” hair damaged, especially at the bottom, which is why the bottom is straight. Her hair is long, thick and beautiful when it’s styled right, but that’s not a natural texture, it’s damaged wavy hair that has been through curling iron hell and back. She could be just curling the top, but it’s still just nasty and unwashed looking. She should stick to her top buns.

 

[knobslobbin]

Well she's certainly getting the attention she craves

 

[multiverse]

She scares me. That tiktok video, damn. She’s just a big, scary woman bullying anyone who dares to question her. What a clown she is.

According to her brother, she was an awful bully in high school. Being as she's never matured past that stage of life, it makes sense that she thinks she can shove and bully her way into the anorexics' lunch table and no one can stop her.

Except reality.

 

[Constellationzero]

Where are your many magazine covers? Your cosmetics and clothing campaigns? Who uses you as their muse?

She ATE IT, remember? Nick posted a SSBBW porn of her eating her magazine cover while the party guests went without. It's why Hooves gets no more.

 

[idomyfoodbucketlist]

I went and looked at the Good Morning America, ABC, BBC & several other Youtube channels and every video clip they posted of Tess' announcement is getting majorly disliked with very few likes and every single comment is anti-Tess. I've also noticed a lot of body positivity (aka fat girls) influencers are dropping her as one of the greats. I actually noticed that this also happened to Virgie Tovar after the whole "don't ask for a smaller piece of cake" incident. People just stopped referencing her because she was too extreme. Same thing with Demi Lovato and her fro-yo meltdown.

Honestly, I think the body positivity/fat acceptance community is imploding on itself and this whole Tess thing is another nail in the coffin. You can only keep the sham of being morbidly obese and happy for so long.

 

[Flawmil]

I guess she is working out to lose weight, contradictory to what she has said in the past that she “works out” because she likes it and makes her feel strong.

Just looking from the type of sports bra she wears I know she doesn’t do any form of Pilates. Powerleveling a bit but having done hot Pilates classes there’s no way she would be able to do the movements in a normal class without knocking her eye out with one of her tits.That sports bra clearly had zero support and is super low cut so her boobs would be flopping all over the place.

I’m guessing her form of Pilates is waving her arms up and down. There’s no way she could do half of the moves that happens in a Pilates room with her body mass which is probably why she does private classes. Any movement is good movement but don’t brag about doing “hot Pilates” five times a week.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

^Wtf, is she admitting to attempting intentional weight loss now, the biggest sin of all within FA/HAES/BoPo? I'm so confused by her narrative. Then again, she is, too.

Also, weirdly, she's using a very Michelle McDaniel cadence and sarcastic style in the video above. I wonder if her fit haterzzz are rubbing off on her, lmao.

 

[knobslobbin]

Damn gorl, save some carbs for the rest of us

 

[NoReturn]

She scares me. That tiktok video, damn. She’s just a big, scary woman bullying anyone who dares to question her. What a clown she is.

Sort of late but her “natural” hair just looks ratty- a Trailer Trash Tammy look alike. It’s as if she just sprayed Aquaphor or Tresseme hairspray all over wet, not throughly washed hair and let it air dry.

She claims her hair texture is “natural” but nothing about it is. It looks greasy, clumps together and I spy some dandruff. Too many years of hot tools have made her “natural” hair damaged, especially at the bottom, which is why the bottom is straight. Her hair is long, thick and beautiful when it’s styled right, but that’s not a natural texture, it’s damaged wavy hair that has been through curling iron hell and back. She could be just curling the top, but it’s still just nasty and unwashed looking. She should stick to her top buns.

I feel you, if I ran into someone like this irl I'd leave the area for fear of getting sucker-punched as soon as my back was turned.

I guess she is working out to lose weight, contradictory to what she has said in the past that she “works out” because she likes it and makes her feel strong.

Just looking from the type of sports bra she wears I know she doesn’t do any form of Pilates. Powerleveling a bit but having done hot Pilates classes there’s no way she would be able to do the movements in a normal class without knocking her eye out with one of her tits.That sports bra clearly had zero support and is super low cut so her boobs would be flopping all over the place.

I’m guessing her form of Pilates is waving her arms up and down. There’s no way she could do half of the moves that happens in a Pilates room with her body mass which is probably why she does private classes. Any movement is good movement but don’t brag about doing “hot Pilates” five times a week.
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Ara ara, look at all these clapbacks videos! She's going down the same path as Marissa!

^Wtf, is she admitting to attempting intentional weight loss now, the biggest sin of all within FA/HAES/BoPo? I'm so confused by her narrative. Then again, she is, too.

Also, weirdly, she's using a very Michelle McDaniel cadence and sarcastic style in the video above. I wonder if her fit haterzzz are rubbing off on her, lmao.

I don't know if it's so much Michelle McDaniel as it is this other TikTok-style thing I've seen going around. McDaniel's presentation style has a different cadance to it that's hard to write out.

Spoiler

Like, the way Michelle speaks is almost like iambic pentameter; duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH. Which I guess makes sense because she was a theater kid.
e.g. "a PROUD motHER ofa PUG anda CHIhuahua."
It makes her easy to listen to because she know how to build and release tension when speaking. Even when she gets mad about something, the audience doesn't feel like the target of that anger.
In contrast, Tess acts more like a Disney villain. The pacing might be similar in places, but the intonation and weird drawn-out condescending bits make it distinct in its presentation.
"I just finished working out. I know. WILD HUH?" is a segment of increasing tension and aggression with no payoff or cooldown. It's vaguely reminiscent of Betty Lou Gerson's villianess roles, but with a sugar-high behind it.

 

[Local Fed]

I feel you, if I ran into someone like this irl I'd leave the area for fear of getting sucker-punched as soon as my back was turned.

Ara ara, look at all these clapbacks videos! She's going down the same path as Marissa!
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I don't know if it's so much Michelle McDaniel as it is this other TikTok-style thing I've seen going around. McDaniel's presentation style has a different cadance to it that's hard to write out.

Spoiler

Like, the way Michelle speaks is almost like iambic pentameter; duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH. Which I guess makes sense because she was a theater kid.
e.g. "a PROUD motHER ofa PUG anda CHIhuahua."
It makes her easy to listen to because she know how to build and release tension when speaking. Even when she gets mad about something, the audience doesn't feel like the target of that anger.
In contrast, Tess acts more like a Disney villain. The pacing might be similar in places, but the intonation and weird drawn-out condescending bits make it distinct in its presentation.
"I just finished working out. I know. WILD HUH?" is a segment of increasing tension and aggression with no payoff or cooldown. It's vaguely reminiscent of Betty Lou Gerson's villianess roles, but with a sugar-high behind it.

That second video is such cope. Society isn't profiting off of shaming hamplanets and exploiting your insecurities for being massive nougat filled tubs of shit. Does McDonalds profit more off of lard demons only having one Big Mac? Or is saying "You do you! Everyone is beautiful no matter their size! Super size that meal, you deserve it!" probably a better profit strategy for them? Do they profit at all when people choose to stay home and cook (yes, for themselves!) a grilled chicken breast? Maybe gyms a huge conspiracy to make you work out so that they... have fewer fatties to make fun of. When your doctor tells you for the eighth time that he can't keep putting grease on the doorframe of his office just to wedge you in when you visit, is he profiting from it?

 

[katebushnightcore]

Damn gorl, save some carbs for the rest of us
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The face of anorexia.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I guess she is working out to lose weight, contradictory to what she has said in the past that she “works out” because she likes it and makes her feel strong.

Just looking from the type of sports bra she wears I know she doesn’t do any form of Pilates. Powerleveling a bit but having done hot Pilates classes there’s no way she would be able to do the movements in a normal class without knocking her eye out with one of her tits.That sports bra clearly had zero support and is super low cut so her boobs would be flopping all over the place.

I’m guessing her form of Pilates is waving her arms up and down. There’s no way she could do half of the moves that happens in a Pilates room with her body mass which is probably why she does private classes. Any movement is good movement but don’t brag about doing “hot Pilates” five times a week.
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Her weight loss journey will end sooner than her last social media break.

 

[Constellationzero]

Damn gorl, save some carbs for the rest of us
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YUCK!

GAHHD, Ollie is really slipping on her faggot house slave duties. LOOK AT THAT BIG TOENAIL. Maybe some of you aren't bothered, but I've noticed the same thing with that smelly sex offender Momokun. CUT YOUR FUCKING TOENAILS. Christ, that is naaaaasty! I know Ollie has a jerb and is probably busy creeping on young women, but Gas Giant maintenance is a must! Ryann is busy farting on cakes and bravely serving her country as a ship in the Navy--she Pumpkin Spice white gurl Uggs liderully CAN'T cut her own toenails!

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Damn gorl, save some carbs for the rest of us
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She really seems to like (partially) showing off her dumb scorpion tattoo. I remain completely baffled at how infatuated she is with herself despite no actual accomplishments in years.

 

[suicide hotline]

Damn gorl, save some carbs for the rest of us
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Fat women insisting on wearing crop tops out of pure spite is by far one of my least favorite fashion trends over the last several years.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Fat women insisting on wearing crop tops out of pure spite is by far one of my least favorite fashion trends over the last several years.

Your username is very appropriate because I feel like calling one up whenever I see it.

 

[Gramlol]

She really seems to like (partially) showing off her dumb scorpion tattoo. I remain completely baffled at how infatuated she is with herself despite no actual accomplishments in years.

That's what I don't get.. she seems so intensely proud of herself, and naturally regards herself as 'inspiring' 'empowering' 'changing the culture' just by existing while enormously fat and posing near nude.
Like, what have you actually accomplished that your family can be proud of Ryann? Even finishing high school was too beyond her skillset

 

[Gay Mouth]

She really seems to like (partially) showing off her dumb scorpion tattoo. I remain completely baffled at how infatuated she is with herself despite no actual accomplishments in years.

she clearly wanted the placement to mimic those waifish 19 year old tumbler girls, where the tattoo is shaped to cradle the hollow of their ribcage and sternum. It can be quite sexy, if that’s your thing, and accentuate the angles of the body with drapey chandelier like accents.
But this hog is convex, and forgot the 10 inches of skin below her tits are just a seat for her tits. If she wanted the tattoo to be visible, she should have placed it front and center on the beach ball, but that’s a decidedly less sexy place for a sexy tattoo on a sexy minx like Tess.

what she wanted: a dreamy astrology piece on her sternum

What she got: black fuckin’ bugs with stretch marks dancing on top of her gunt