She's now crying. She feels stupid
She looks for things to sabotage, RRRaarrraaaaah
"I can't go through this anymore" and realizing it's too much to drive, and he doesn't deserve her. And she doesn't deserve him. She doesn't know what's going on and pictures him having sex with 20 people in a room. Which hey, that's like his thing and she pretty much has to accept that about him.
"If he's doing what I think he's doing, ohhhh... "
She's heartbroken.
She looks ugly cry but she doesn't "ugly cry". The chat room is saying she hopes she gets home safe. Keeps saying she's going to sign off and consdering going home. (Where the fuck she is, I don't know).
She wants to cry so harrrrrdd but I caaaannnnn't
Of all the things to do, and what she could have done, she got involved with something toxic, what oes that say..she believes he'll call tomorrow. He probably thinks she's stupid, "I'm not stupid, I just want my stuff". I know I shuold just cut it now at three weeks but i just melt">
She doesn't know what to do, she shuold have respect. How men walked all over her in the past, she didn't have much self worth or care, and she liked them SO much, She feels stupid, and she's 'mad at herself. "This is about me!!!" She's driving home, about 10 minutes away. KJ has to remind her not to show her GPS addresss. Using turtleneck to hide chin. Car sounds rattly - and she's worried a car is a cop.
She's thinking he's cheating (it's not a relationship, stupid twat) and she's saying he has insisted she's not a cheater, and he was tossing it back at her about her threatening to go to Bibi's and he never called her back an now she's saying she called 30 times and using the nutso "how could you do this to me" rant.
He's become a different person, see what type she thought he was and fell for. And nooooooow, just feels completely fucking lied to. If you had a BF, and going out with a friend like,didn't talk all night, and it's not like past midnight and he hasn't called you, you think he's cheating on you (She's clearly not seeing making his phone explode is why he's no calling her back). SHe's aware she's obessed over him.
She wants to get her shit back - ignoring that people were telling her NOT to leave anything there..
Oh she's ranting too fast to transcribe but she's ranting about how she wans her edibles, get the fuck on with lie, can't live withthis eeling in pit with heavy heart always worried if someone loves me, attracted to me, enough for them, or how we're going to live life together when our lives are so fucking different..she just hates it soooo much.
Now she's singing random lyrics like "I hate myself for loving you" and she's going to moan all night with sadness.
Men with their friends maybe don't answer the phone and girls are nuts and obsess over this stuff, she needs to get a grip and act like she doesn't care but "I DO.. he might be cheating on me right now! It might be the karma for me cheating in the past"
She thought she was more confident. Eve with someone and can't understand why they want to be with you, like why do you want to be with me, why do you like me? Like, I mean, so messed up.. why are you with me?
They had times which were intensely romantic and he wasn't able to always read her and that he sensed she doesn't know who she is, and she has so much work to do on herself and it shows. It bothers her. Really does. Nothing she can do but only have a broken heart and jut be broken and feel like shit.
OHhhhh.. yep that's what yu have to do. All you can do. She's yawning.
Now she wishes she was in her bed but more she wishes she was in HIS bed and has a gut feeling that he'll lie and she can't trust him due to past hurts and can't help that and doesn't know how to trut people. Sorry guys she's just speaking her mind.
He's a bad boy, she was never reall into that. Well, he's not really a bad boy ut you know what I mean. She realizes she says "yu know what I mean" a lot. She's almost home wondering if anyone called it. She can't let this shit go.
Fucking guy only waned to hang out and Chantal has a fucking breakdown over it. Her life is crazy right now, and she signed up for Tinder, and responded and she allowed herself to get in this position.
She almost runs over another racoon and no more night driving due to all the animals. Now she's freaking out over the recent road kill, and sad she missed the dispensary.
She's turned the camera off but the audio is still on. She's singing Madonna songs.
She's home so the blocking was to hide her address and has phone in purse.
Winded from the stairs, really out of breath and in her room so she's winded going from ground floor to the bedroom.
She's back on the llama. "What's up guys!" she's asking for "stuff"
She misses how he says "Gimmie those boobs".
Some in the chat are going to bed. She'll probably be online tomorrow. She took her shirt off and in her bra because it's too hot. She's got a bunch of bruises. And she realizes oh shit, the other phone is downstairs. She doesn't know if she should go get it. If she gets the other phone she can keep calling him from it.
Shes wondering if he's ignoring everyone. Singing lady gaga. She thinks he had an orgy and she would never be into that. She's wondering if he forgot his phone.
Peetz will get the phone for her and she admits she's there every day and every night - it doesn't phase her that maybe he needed a fucking break from her just to not hear her bullshit snot rockets, throat clearing, and general dumbassery considering she doesn't like getting or giving oral, and maybe he's done playing with her.
She regrets not taking a key to his apartment when he offered one so she could find out whats going on and get her stuff. This guy has no idea how much he dodged a bullet with that.
