- Joined
- Jul 20, 2020
Not only is she hyperobese, but she's determined to look as trashy and degenerate as possible with those nasty tattoos. Scorpions on the abdomen? Really?!
The epitome of a sentient dumpster fire.
Mother of the millennium!
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
The epitome of a sentient dumpster fire.
Mother of the millennium!
yousoundlikeanasshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2020
What kind of insecure idiot carries around mismatched designer shit to the fucking gym?Christ she is desperate to be validated by the Hollywood elite
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
While sporting some classy knockoff Gucci houseshoe looking' flip flops.
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2020
Anna's a sad-sack drunk, but she's expending some effort and trying to do right by her clients. She tries in her own incompetent way to really model the clothes she's given.
She's working pretty hard on that Savage X Fenty contract, with a professional camera man and slow-mo modeling the flouncy lingerie. She give enthusiastic reviews about how comfortable those panties riding up her ass are, etc. She does try to sell the product.
Tess just squeezes her fat ass into Flabletics 2 sizes too small, then takes still pics in the middle of her apartment so she doesn't have to expend precious calories moving around. She does the absolute LEAST possible effort pics, and considers her job done. Suppa model!
I can't believe Flabletics still send clothes to Tess to model. Don't they know how HORRIBLE everything looks on her?
Who would buy this transparent, spotted, strap-disappearing mess after seeing it on Tess? I'd pay money to avoid wearing it.
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2021
The bra piece from the back (where black strings go to) is even more different in color: it's either inside out, or stretched to the pale beige-like ribbon
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2019
I bet if they could get a plus size name like Ashley Graham they'd drop Tess in a heartbeat.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
The kind who thinks it's kewl to purchase a Balenciaiga (SEVERAL, SEVERAL, seasons old) bag off ebay. Be sure to pick items that have the name obnoxiously visible on the front (or make sure there's a French word like Rue visible so people know you're fancy!)
You know the REAL people are laughing their asses off at this fat POS. For one thing, she's always going to be too fat and too goddamn stupid to fit into anything from a flagship store with no visible label.
She's a lot younger than me, but Hooves here was definitely the bloviating gas giant at her high school who always wore TOMMY! TOMMY JEANS TOMMY HILFIGER or made sure you could see her Bedouin Tent (purchased at the Mexican fleamarket) with MARITE ET FRANCOIS GIRBAUD
Lol. I bet her cousin or some family member actually has pictures to confirm it.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
"It's not like I woke up one day and I was like 'Hey, I'm gonna love myself'"
"Then you wake up one day and you realize, like-"
So was it a sudden epiphany or not?
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2020
In my era, the white trash but popular girls at working class high schools always had the big loud brand name shit from the mall. GUESS tshirts, Esprit tote bags, Swatch watches, etc. This was long before your average teen could get knock-off brands, so their parents were paying retail.
Why did their parents buy them relatively expensive clothing when their families were pretty much poor? Did they just devote a fraction of each paycheck to dressing up Heather so she could be snotty to the other girls? They probably couldn't afford to fix their beater cars, but Heather needs the latest Esprit bag.
I'd bet money Tess was the fat Heather at her school. She probably acted like she was the REAL prom queen who was just TOO GOOD to be the actual prom queen. Cause everyone's jealous of glamourous, sexy "curvy" Tess!
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
Oh I know this one! It's a "Which way poor man?" situation.
Group A is the group that buys their clothing from WalMart and the thrift shops but doesn't look for specific brands. They're barely keeping afloat financially and it shows.
Group B is the group that you're describing. They may be in the exact same place as group A (financially speaking) but they don't want to show it, and there's actually some logic to this. If they appear to be middle class, then they have better opportunities to interact with those people, and they believe too that their children will be able to associate with "better" people and gain more opportunities in life.
Bonus TessToks:
Reply to @naturallex they are hot pink & red but idk if u can tell@nailthug TY
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- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
I know someone who is a Fabletics brand ambassador. She's just a no-name, small time Instagram Mom who has about 10K followers. I think they'll take anyone who even pretends to be an influencer.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
How much does she make per post? Maybe I should start posting my own ass with a bag over my head. See if I can get some extra cash.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
I will start a channel if they send me free stuff.
I like a lot of it, but I'm not giving one penny to Tess.
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2015
Demi Lavato came out as non-binary today. Tess must be livid that she’s soaking up all those sweet oppression points and attenthun away from her. I predict a them/they saga soon for Tessie.
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
Initially I figured Tess was too stuck on herself and her femininity to troon out, but honestly, I can see her doing exactly what she did with the anorexia and forcing herself into some retarded box to fit in with the 'cool kids'.
- Joined
- May 2, 2021
Considering that you must do or feel precisely nothing differently in order to claim you're "non-binary" these days, I'm sure she'll be doing just that any day now. Shes a "queer" who is clearly only into men and a super morbidly obese "anorexic," why not join Sophie Hagen and pretend shes also not a woman? Frankly I'm shocked she hasn't done it already. All the better to browbeat and cry bully over on social media all day.
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- Joined
- Mar 23, 2019
LOL Gen Xer.
(Kidding with love, I'm one myself and I very much remember how IMPORTANT Esprit tote bags were in jr. high. And Guess ANYTHING. And I still own a couple Swatches sorry to say...)
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2016
That was part of that call out she made in January when she was just so tired y’all! about being expected to exercise when “modeling” exercise clothing. Her anorexia stunt was likely rooted in the same. Tess will have to keep up the theatrics to keep Flabletics in line.
These parents relied a lot on outlet malls.
Yep, they will take anybody to be a sponsor. Tess is not special in that regard. Notice how Tess has other sponsorships but they only last as long as her BFFs. Those sponsorships likely have higher standards than having a pulse and an Instagram account. Shows just how poor Tess’ engagement statistics are if she has millions of followers but only has one steady sponsorship and that’s the one anybody can get.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
I am going to shriek just like Jude Valentin if Tess gets cancelled by Flabletics over this anorexia stunt. She probably won't, given that they're so non-selective as to have her as a brand ambassador in the first place, but she's already too fat for the clothes, makes them look terrible, and puts no effort into presenting them (other than the obvious strain of getting them on and off her corpulent body).
That, and poor teenagers usually got jobs at an earlier age than their more affluent peers, and spent part of their wages on status clothing. I knew kids who worked at McD's after school and on weekends to afford trendy clothes, or shoes that were a popular brand.
She doesn't have a deal with Savage x Fenty--when gross fatwad Anna O'Brien does. That is incredibly significant, because Tess at least tries to mimic aspirational glamour and sexiness while Anna is just a massive dorky permavirgin with all the sexual magnetism of an empty donut box--nobody aspires to be her.
She doesn't have any makeup deals. Again, that's significant. Why the fuck not?
Not even Torrid sends Tess stuff to moddle, or Lane Bryant. If she really is the fatty supermodel, why the hell not? Then again, we know why Eloquii doesn't any more.
Tess should be rolling in sponsorship deals from all the big names in fatty fashion, as well as beauty brands, and she's not. When a homely alcoholic goofball like Anna O'Brien is getting all the sponsorship deals you'd be an obvious fit for, you're doing something really wrong, Tess.
So that she's not getting the deals she obviously should be getting tells me that she's already been cancelled by the people who really matter--the ones who can give her high-profile, well-paying sponsorships. That shows how far she's already poisoned her own brand, just by being herself. And of course, being a Narcissist cow, she'll never learn.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Ah yes, the Esprit bag. And anything you could purchase at the Esprit store (not from the junior section at Marshall Field). Now you can't even GET Esprit in this country anymore
Other big brands: JNCO, Z. Cavaricci, BUM, Hypercolor, Benetton, Guess, Bebe, shit from Miller's Outpost. By the time I was in high school, the thing to do was visit your Banana Republic and purchase and consoom much product. The one in Bal Harbour was a great one to shop from. Another big thing to wear were Big Johnson shirts and Ron Jon or Salty Dog. In my high school days...if you had any Quicksilver or Roxy or even a Sex Wax sticker, that meant you and your family went to all the good places for vacation or business.
But Ryann I can see actually visiting the Flying J or the QT and slanging some cheap ass Chinese ass ugly Louis Vuitton knockoff before finding that Balenciaga bag. She must've figured no one would be impressed with a Michael Kors or a Dooney & Bourke or a Coach (even if she paid 1,000$).
And I definitely can see her down at the flea markets on a Saturday searching for a highly flammable and poorly rendered knockoff something in Gucci or Hermes or whatever is accepted these days as ghetto fabulous.