Inactive Coldness in My Heart - Horrorcow that mutilated herself

[Rabbit Bones]

I think this is the girl the goons tracked down and convinced to go get help (or threatened dox if she didn't), but that may just be me mis-remembering things.

 

[DrJonesHat]

I'm reminded of a news story I read...IIRC a passenger on a bus in Canada started eating the face of another passenger. The individual (you know, eating the face) is schizophrenic, and I want to say there was a shit storm once she/he was released from the psychiatric ward.

I know it's not the same scenario, but please allow me to elaborate: People with severe conditions are capable of doing things when their brain is not right. If you combine that with the right drugs, then you have a recipe for disaster. I'm really hoping it's latex and good photoshop skills, but damn.

I only looked at two of the pictures and that was enough for me.

If that was faked, she deserves an award for her practical effects and photoshopping skills.

 

[Olhelm]

She tops Nick Bate!

I wouldn't say so. This girl, if she's the one I'm remembering, did these things to herself out of mental illness. She refused to see doctors out of fear, and knew the dangers of what she was doing. She was pretty shy, actually.

Nick Bate, on the other hand, is a maniac that refuses to take any responsibilities for his evils, and proudly projects them onto other people.

Do you remember her name? Or any relevant information that could help in finding the obituary. How about posting the link to the CPW proflie.

It was a pretty standard German name. Started with a J. Johanna?

And when I say "active", I mean on her tumblr. The CPW had a lot of people who scoured the web for stuff like hers.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Don't have any on hand, so my word is my own. I never personally spoke to her, but she was pretty popular on the CPW when she was active.

Of course, I could be misremembering. There were a lot of cutters/self mutilators on the CPW.

Yeah, if you're gonna make a major claim like that, you need to back it up with some proof. We're used to people trying to troll us or feed us false information, so we're not just gonna take your word for it.

 

[Olhelm]

Yeah, if you're gonna make a major claim like that, you need to back it up with some proof. We're used to people trying to troll us or feed us false information, so we're not just gonna take your word for it.

That's fine. I just wanted to put my two cents in. I'll do a little digging, see if I can find anything.

 

[Guzzlord]

I think i might have found her accountname on some german Selfharm Board (postings are from 2005-2006 though), because she stated that she'd have issues with her kidneys,
also she'd be 30 years old now, which fits to the girl who has been tracked down by the goons.
Might try to dig a bit more now.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

I wouldn't say so. This girl, if she's the one I'm remembering, did these things to herself out of mental illness. She refused to see doctors out of fear, and knew the dangers of what she was doing. She was pretty shy, actually.

Nick Bate, on the other hand, is a maniac that refuses to take any responsibilities for his evils, and proudly projects them onto other people.

That's a good point, though I say she is (was?) worse objectively. Smearing shit on your walls, and putting it on your micropenis? Yeah, that's fucking disgusting. Cutting a gash into your arm, exposing bone, then using a scalpel in an attempt to pry said bone out? Absolutely horrifying. Mentality-wise, Nick's still worse, and he's affected others with his unpleasantness, though I'd say this girl's still more horrifying, if more tragic. Kinda like a case of, say, Luka Magnotta vs. Elliot Rodger. Both killed people. Elliot killed more (six, vs. Luka's one). But I'd say Luka was worse because all Elliot did was shoot them, whereas Luka stabbed a guy to death, dismembered him, and mailed his body parts to political offices and elementary schools.

 

[Olhelm]

I think i actually found her accountname on some german Selfharm Board, because she stated that she'd have issues with her kidneys,
also she'd be 30 years old now, which fits to the girl who has been tracked down by the goons.
Might try to dig a bit more now.

Interesting! Got a link for us?

 

[Drawets Rednaxela]

I must be tired 'cause I read that as 'Horrorcow that humiliates herself'. Probably would have preferred that over what I saw...

 

[DrJonesHat]

That's a good point, though I say she is (was?) worse objectively. Smearing shit on your walls, and putting it on your micropenis? Yeah, that's fucking disgusting. Cutting a gash into your arm, exposing bone, then using a scalpel in an attempt to pry said bone out? Absolutely horrifying. Mentality-wise, Nick's still worse, and he's affected others with his unpleasantness, though I'd say this girl's still more horrifying, if more tragic.

She's only hurting herself directly, Nick caused lifelong harm to his sister. Also, Nick is completely unrepentant because he thinks what he did wasn't wrong at all.

 

[Guzzlord]

Interesting! Got a link for us?

http://forum.rotetraenen.de

That board here.
Examples of posts of hers:
Where she states that she has Kidney issues
Rant about jealously she feels towards the ex-gf of her boyfriend apparently? Interesting: The name "angie" was also mentioned in an ask on that selfheal blog.

I basically just googled the name of the website "site: http://forum.rotetraenen.de Govinda"
Govinda seems to be her nickname, im still not sure if it was her, though.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

She's only hurting herself directly, Nick caused lifelong harm to his sister. Also, Nick is completely unrepentant because he thinks what he did wasn't wrong at all.

They're both disgusting, horrible people. But for different reasons.

 

[The Lizard Queen]

Ever heard of Morgellons Disease? It's a psychological disorder where the sufferer has convinced themselves that some kind of fibers or worms are growing under their skin. Some of them get crazy enough to cut themselves to find the "fibers." Naturally they open huge gaping wet wounds into themselves, and then lint and fibers from their clothes get into the wound. Then they show up at the hospital or the psychiatrist all happy and say, "See, I told you there were fibers growing in there!"

One of them sliced themselves up so bad that they started pulling out their own nerves, thinking they were the worms.

So yeah, there's no limit to crazy.

 

[Olhelm]

http://forum.rotetraenen.de
That board here.
Examples of posts of hers:
Where she states that she has Kidney issues
Rant about jealously she feels towards the ex-gf of her boyfriend apparently? Interesting: The name "angie" was also mentioned in an ask on that selfheal blog.

I basically just googled the name of the website "site: http://forum.rotetraenen.de Govinda"
Govinda seems to be her nickname, im still not sure if it was her, though.

This seems pretty familiar. I think this is her.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Ever heard of Morgellons Disease? It's a psychological disorder where the sufferer has convinced themselves that some kind of fibers or worms are growing under their skin. Some of them get crazy enough to cut themselves to find the "fibers." Naturally they open huge gaping wet wounds into themselves, and then lint and fibers from their clothes get into the wound. Then they show up at the hospital or the psychiatrist all happy and say, "See, I told you there were fibers growing in there!"

One of them sliced themselves up so bad that they started pulling out their own nerves, thinking they were the worms.

So yeah, there's no limit to crazy.

Yeah, I think Morgellons was linked to meth users. Apparently, using a drug that's cooked up using industrial chemicals in people's sheds in the backwoods has a detrimental effect on one's mental faculties. Who knew?

 

[Chicken Dippers]

Jesus Christ. When Kiwi Farms puts up a warning on a thread, you know it's gotta be pretty fucking horrible.

And yup, this is pretty fucking horrible. Hard to believe someone would mutilate themselves like this. Must've hurt like fuck.

 

[Mulligan]

Here's a thread where she talks about being "clean for 2 years" and cutting
Here the translation via google translate

Spoiler: translation

Hello there!
I am for ages no longer can look here ...
I'm for more than 2 years clean (after 8 years SVV), but I was never really into therapy. I once started a, but after a few times it was clear that I do not come clear with the woman and they also could not help me a bit, so I've canceled it.

but lately I realize more and more clearly that I did not really come clear. I do not cut myself, but sometimes I wish back the times when I always had a simple quick fix for all problems ....

I am completely helpless when it comes to communication, social behavior, interpersonal goes .... even overwhelmed smalltalk me, no soft skills ....

that's become me yesterday so clearly aware that I suddenly could not stand it to be so. I've decided that I need to change that.

but I can not just make a therapist for something?
how bad you have to be mentally ill to get a therapist?
I feel so terrible, so hindered and incomplete, but as long as I do not cut myself it can not be that bad, right?

but I know that cutting would not help, because I'm already so "weaned" ....
I have a great longing for mental health. to self-confidence. but I do not know if I have a right to it.

to whom can I turn to leave assess my chances of a therapy?

I would be very grateful for advice, I know that there are many here who are familiar with very good Theras etc ....

warm wishes

It should be noted that this was posted back in 2008, was she cutting back then? If she was than I highly doubt this is the same person.

edit: another post

Spoiler: translation

I had been so long clean, my last relapse was in the autumn of last year .... and now that I had something feared from the beginning, I caved in again ... a deep, long cut, a bloody scar will remain and will always smile at me scornfully ... it was just too much ... it had accumulated so much, and he abounds to all, I am also rebuked that night, because of some stupid little thing. and my pride, it was not allowed to call him. so I was all alone with the idea in 1000, who came suddenly all gekochen simultaneously ihrern dark corners and have pulled me into a deep hole ... I was so small and worthless and wrong ... angie has certainly never done anything for which they had to be reprimanded ... no, that was not the reason, but one of the triggers .... I fallen so low .... and pitched so hard .... I've done him so much ... He. was so shocked when he saw the cut, so disappointed in me ... and I was ashamed ... again ... and hated me because I'm going to ruin everything ...

I do not know what to do .... if I go on like this, I'm going to really destroy our relationship, but I will in any case !!

I want them to disappear from my head and let me in peace!
it is not a saint, not an angel, I know, but I can not implement ... I also know that he does not see (as I told him even begin, as I see it, he laughed and said sarcastically "You do not know! she is not an angel ....").
and although I know all this, even though he told me how they have been arguing, as it has disappointed him as he was upset about it ... I get it not just in my head in, this picture that emerges once turned eat, is immutable and loses none of its destructive power .... I am her helpless, and if it continues like this does not remain choice but to wait for our end me, it's only a matter of time ...

can anyone understand me? Does anyone know what I can do to / save me us ?? I just do not see any solution .... I do not want to lose him, not him !! It would kill me ....

Edit again: I somehow managed to get two different threads mixed up The second one is from a different thread all the way back in 2005

 

[The Lizard Queen]

Yeah, I think Morgellons was linked to meth users. Apparently, using a drug that's cooked up using industrial chemicals in people's sheds in the backwoods has a detrimental effect on one's mental faculties. Who knew?

Like many of these Tumblr disorders, Morgellons is self diagnosed, since it's not a real condition. Actual doctors and psychologists already know what is going on, and has a lot more to do with being crazy, and a lot less to do with an unknown disease.

I would not be surprised if this Coldnessinmyheart has some form of delusional parasitosis. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusional_parasitosis
She may be cutting herself open based on the delusion of parasites living in her body, or because she can't stand the sensation of invisible things moving under her skin.
It can be caused by excessive drug use, which would also account for the lack of pain. I'd be willing to bet Meth is involved.

 

[Guzzlord]

Translating the text above now, if anyone's interested

 

[DrJonesHat]

Like many of these Tumblr disorders, Morgellons is self diagnosed, since it's not a real condition. Actual doctors and psychologists already know what is going on, and has a lot more to do with being crazy, and a lot less to do with an unknown disease.

I would not be surprised if this Coldnessinmyheart has some form of delusional parasitosis. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusional_parasitosis
She may be cutting herself open based on the delusion of parasites living in her body, or because she can't stand the sensation of invisible things moving under her skin.
It can be caused by excessive drug use, which would also account for the lack of pain. I'd be willing to bet Meth is involved.

Not a drug user, but can't meth pretty much turn off your pain receptors for a while? That would explain why she's able to carve herself up like a Thanksgiving turkey without passing out.