Worst food/restaurant trends

Unholy amounts of spice and seasonings on everything. The people who insist that various foods "have no flavor" have clearly burned out their taste buds. I cannot think of anything at all that "tastes like water." Potatoes have a distinctive flavor and I am in no way fooled by gnasty tofu.
 
Unholy amounts of spice and seasonings on everything. The people who insist that various foods "have no flavor" have clearly burned out their taste buds. I cannot think of anything at all that "tastes like water." Potatoes have a distinctive flavor and I am in no way fooled by gnasty tofu.
This. There's a localish to me Thai place that is fantastic and my friends go there with a mind to see if the cook has finally made something hot enough that they feel it. For the record, I can get half way through a 3 before my mouth is fire. The hot the woman who runs the place makes for them isn't on the menu. I don't even know if they taste food any more, seems bizarre to me.
 
This. There's a localish to me Thai place that is fantastic and my friends go there with a mind to see if the cook has finally made something hot enough that they feel it. For the record, I can get half way through a 3 before my mouth is fire. The hot the woman who runs the place makes for them isn't on the menu. I don't even know if they taste food any more, seems bizarre to me.
A 3? Like 3-alarm? That's MILD for Thai in my experience. I've had some green curries that were tasty but holy everloving shit they were hot. Reds are a little less insane, panang curries are about in my Goldilocks zone, and yellow curries are pretty mild but very tasty.
 
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Insanely overpriced versions of foods that are considered cheap stuff abroad. Ramen's the biggest culprit I can think of.
A bowl of Ichiran in tokyo sets you back about the equivalent of $9 USD. In New York or San Francisco, you pay TWENTY. FUCKING. DOLLARS. I'd sooner educate myself in the Japanese language, buy a plane ticket, and go to Tokyo. It'd be infinitely safer and less disgusting, too.
 
A 3? Like 3-alarm? That's MILD for Thai in my experience. I've had some green curries that were tasty but holy everloving shit they were hot. Reds are a little less insane, panang curries are about in my Goldilocks zone, and yellow curries are pretty mild but very tasty.
Just what their three is. It's not mild and that was just their Basil Fried Rice. The place is different from most other Thai I've had, it's not very sauce heavy and I mostly get their Pad Thai, I haven't even tried their curries. Their three is like a real slow build up, you don't really feel it at first and then it's just fucking burning about half way through and I'm no slouch on spice. I usually go with 1 these days, but mostly because the food is so damn good I want to enjoy it.
 
Just what their three is. It's not mild and that was just their Basil Fried Rice. The place is different from most other Thai I've had, it's not very sauce heavy and I mostly get their Pad Thai, I haven't even tried their curries. Their three is like a real slow build up, you don't really feel it at first and then it's just fucking burning about half way through and I'm no slouch on spice. I usually go with 1 these days, but mostly because the food is so damn good I want to enjoy it.
Arbitrary spice scales kind of screw with me but... spicy basil fried rice? Sounds kind of interesting. Weird, but interesting. Pad thai is pretty good though, as long as they're using tamarind in the sauce (local place has great curries and good pad see ew but their pad thai is downright bland).

Also I really hate the trend that's picked up with people who have realized that lengua is actually pretty fucking good and so they fucking clean out the lengua at my favorite taco truck within like 2 hours of them opening. Fuckers.
 
Arbitrary spice scales kind of screw with me but... spicy basil fried rice? Sounds kind of interesting. Weird, but interesting. Pad thai is pretty good though, as long as they're using tamarind in the sauce (local place has great curries and good pad see ew but their pad thai is downright bland).

Also I really hate the trend that's picked up with people who have realized that lengua is actually pretty fucking good and so they fucking clean out the lengua at my favorite taco truck within like 2 hours of them opening. Fuckers.
It's something else, not sure how arbitrary it is, but Lek uses as fresh as she can get Thai chili and has three level above five you can ask for, and then the level she experiments on my friends with. She sells the sauces she fries stuff in at the local grocery store, I'll have to check next time I'm in and see if she's got that in there. It's anything but bland.
 
Food is being turned from and enjoyable pleasure to a meaningless mess of novelties and fads that appeal to the latest health panic. Most irritating is any traditional dish mangled with avocados (or whatever is this years shitty exotic fruit picked by some underpaid Indio), vegan "substitutes" or gluten free bullshit.
 
This. There's a localish to me Thai place that is fantastic and my friends go there with a mind to see if the cook has finally made something hot enough that they feel it. For the record, I can get half way through a 3 before my mouth is fire. The hot the woman who runs the place makes for them isn't on the menu. I don't even know if they taste food any more, seems bizarre to me.
It's the American desire for sensation at all costs. And I actually like spicy food, but I'd like to taste something other than capsaicin. Ironically, they went from being so non-spicy that they'd never scare away Midwesterners to being incredibly spicy.
 
Food is being turned from and enjoyable pleasure to a meaningless mess of novelties and fads that appeal to the latest health panic. Most irritating is any traditional dish mangled with avocados (or whatever is this years shitty exotic fruit picked by some underpaid Indio), vegan "substitutes" or gluten free bullshit.
Avocado is good, but it's essentially plant butter. Shoving it into things in order to raise the fat content is the new bacon on everything.

And more often than not, it'll be "avocado bacon" so you get the lard, the salt, AND the plant butter all together. You barely have to taste food at all, yay.

I don't think people who get "überhot ghost chile death sauce" actually like spicy food at all. I think they like showing off their tolerance of it. Clap for them.
 
When 'options' actually mean less options:

  • KFC in Britain have stopped selling Pepsi, as it's bad for kids. I'm not a kid and this fucks me off to no end
  • Food that's vegan or vegetarian friendly, without offering an alternative. Vegan version of non-vegan food tastes different.
  • Kids, kids everywhere. Please leave your children at home OR at least the food joint should offer a 'kid free' night and a 'kid-only' night. Swimming pools do this, why the hell can't a restaurant?
 
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Choosing "a protein" for your meal, Jesus guys were aren't in some Blade Runner dystopian world where everyone eats processed slime with food coloring and some ramen noodle flavoring and we dont' speak like the Coneheads where we have to break down what we label food to it's most technical.
And would you like a vessel of hot nourishment water or a plate of vegetative matter to go with your caloric intake matrix today, Xir?
 
Might just be a UK thing, but Indian takeaway salad.
A lot of places will throw in a little bag of sad-arsed salad with your order, usually shredded iceberg with slightly brown edges, a single tomato quarter (must be underripe and sour), and two slices of cucumber. Just to add insult to injury it’s packed in with the food totally haphazard, so by the time it arrives it’s at best warm, at worst partially cooked.
At least the Chinese will just throw in a bag of prawn crackers I can finish off as breakfast the next morning.
 
One thing I absolutely hate is the dressing up of fast food places. I come to McDonald's for a Big Mac or a double cheeseburger, and they keep adding "craft burgers" or other pretend fancy shit. Every time I try one of them, they taste worse than the plain burgers. I've sworn off trying any new shit at fast food restaurants since.
 
"street food" that you can buy in grocery stores. Everything has to be "street food style" now. Sauce in a bottle. Frozen french fries etc. I'm not even saying that stuff is bad per se - it's just not street food when I purchase it at Lidl/Aldi and heat it up in my oven at home.
Eat it sat on the pavement outside your house.
 
“Queso” is short for “chili con queso” which is a specific Tex-Mex thing. News flash: when you go to a Mexican place in the USofA, chances are it’s not “GEEN-U-WINE” Mexican food but some localization of Tex-Mex or southwestern Mexican-influenced food. One you leave the American Southwest and Texas, most “Mexican food” places are kinda trash. Like with Cajun food, some styles of food and cooking just haven’t migrated throughout the country well enough yet. I got dragged to a Cajun place in DC and it was a very depressing experience, especially considering the bill. “Blackened” on the east coast apparently means “lightly seasoned”.

Most authentic Mexican food can be pretty nasty/flavorless unless you grew up eating that stuff. Even some delicacies, such as menudo and lengua, can be disgusting when it’s made by people who don’t know what they’re doing.
I can say from experience that most "Cajun" restaurants outside of Louisiana have practically nothing in common with real Cajun food.

I visited a "cajun" restaurant in Virginia and was actually pissed off by what I saw there. Seriously, what the fuck is "chili cheese crawfish etouffee"?!?
 
Might just be a UK thing, but Indian takeaway salad.
A lot of places will throw in a little bag of sad-arsed salad with your order, usually shredded iceberg with slightly brown edges, a single tomato quarter (must be underripe and sour), and two slices of cucumber. Just to add insult to injury it’s packed in with the food totally haphazard, so by the time it arrives it’s at best warm, at worst partially cooked.
At least the Chinese will just throw in a bag of prawn crackers I can finish off as breakfast the next morning.
In the US it tends to be the pizza joints that do it, and it's basically the same salad:
 
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