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- Mar 16, 2019
The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.
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- Sep 19, 2019
And they wonder why they are so fat.
Between that and the overdose of restaurant they go to, where do they find the money to buy meat for every meal ?
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- Feb 13, 2020
Patreon and GoFundMe.
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- Dec 24, 2018
The worst part (as has been discussed) is that the tranch's unsustainable activities have likely not just poisoned their own land, but also the land of their neighbors. In a few years, that place will be a dustbowl, and the tranchers will not face any consequences. But I don't expect anything less from people who learned about farming from Stardew Valley.God, I know I'm just being mad on the internet, but it depresses the shit out of me every time we see what they've done to the vegetation there. Especially as spring/summer hits and the surrounding area greens up a bit. You can tell that on the neighbour's side, there's just rolling green scrub to the mountains and it's gorgeous. And the troons have instead managed to make a fucking dirt pit that stretches on forever.
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- Jul 28, 2020
THIS IS AN INSULT TO COBES
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- Jun 12, 2019
hmmm think ill try my hands at making a "better" version of the Tranch's dinner again. Chicken cubes with mushrooms and peppers? yeah i could do that but i don't have a grill so that might be a problem, I could probably stir fry those ingredients in a skillet then skewer them once done, no guarantee i will do that thought. Will post in the food board if i get around to it.
Can anyone let me know what else master "chef" pennywise has made for the tranch meals? persdonally id rather eat the Pennywise's cooking
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- Dec 19, 2019
Molly White's Breast Milk
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- Dec 1, 2020
This made me realize that Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles are more competent farmers than the tranch.
Honka Honka Burning Love
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- Aug 29, 2019
And Better Shots..
and Probably better Looking Women
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- Nov 8, 2018
Also why does this lumpy pervert think that veterinarians don't wear gloves?
I'm assuming the Wish.com doctors who do dick snips for the Tranchers all wear gloves, right?
I want Toren to move into the Tranch. He's a fat, crazy alcoholic mooch. He'd be a perfect addition to Paul's drinking hobby.
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- Sep 19, 2019
Well one of them is good with organization and leadership
The other one is good at growing things
The third one is actually good at fixing things.
Skills that none of the farmers actually have and they proved it quite a few times.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2020
"If you call me the wrong word I will rape you"
What a lovely person.
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2019
Somehow I think the Alpacas would be more likely to sexually harass that thing than any random "person working behind the counter." It seriously looks like one of those troll dolls.
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- Jan 1, 2021
'I'm 22'. Jesus.
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VIDEO 1:
[Ambient SFX: absolute silence as not even wind blows in the barren tranch wasteland.]
[Deep, raspy breath as the the desolate air scrapes at the recorder's lungs.]
"Doot-de-doo-de-doo, just takin' a walk."
[The camera whips around while an absolute troglodyte is visible for a few frames, stopping on a horde of alpacas standing and huddled in fear of the ogre behind the camera.]
"Oh hai guyz."
[The troglodyte behind the ogre laughs.]
"Are you followin' us?"
[More rasps from the ogre as walking a few steps pushes it to the brink of exhaustion.]
"Keep walkin', Lexi."
[In response to being called "Lexi," the troglodyte steps back. The alpacas maintain their careful distance as the ogre also backpedals.]
"Oh yeah, they're followin' us."
VIDEO 2:
[Ambient SFX: standard white noise.]
[An ogre with wispy cotton candy stuck to its head is visible. All its features, from its mouth to its eyes, are swollen and sallow, and freckled with moles and pock marks. Its face undulates as it speaks. A message is visible reading "can I have them all," presumably in response to the alpacas in the previous video.]
"Sooo, auhm...they aren't mine."
[The ogre places its paw on its chest, motioning at itself.]
"I'm currently out here volunteering at an alpaca rae-yanch in Colorado. Uhm...it's called the 'Tenacious Unicorn Ranch,' it's run by a bunch of lovely queer people...uhm...and..."
[The ogre turns it head, presumably to witness Paul's feral nature take over as he mutilates and devours an alpaca offscreen.]
"It's just...beautiful...and..."
[The ogre begins to shake its head, struggling to come up with compliments for the tranch.]
"...Wonderful...and...they're being so hospitable...and letting us stay in a trailer while we help thay-yum. Aaa-aaand...if you wanna help out or wanna come see these babies then you should look them up on Twitter and try to come help. Uhm, or they have a website, as well."
[The ogre furrows its brow and its eyes turn to a blank stare, struggling to concentrate as the drugs laced in the meal provided by Phillip earlier begin to take hold.]
"I...will try to figure out what it is, put it in my bio."
[The ogre's face finally spasm as it loses all fine motor control. The camera cuts to a shot outside of a window an indefinite amount of time later. An expanse of dirt dotted with alpacas is visible.]
"I mean, come on..."
[The ogre begins to pant as its cardiovascular system begins to shut down.]
"Come on! This is the view from my trailer! Come volunteer out here guys, seriously, because it's beautiful...and...rewarding."
VIDEO 3:
[Ambient SFX: dead, numbing silence.]
[The ogre is now in a car. It is wearing sunglasses which it quickly removes while speaking, and has a septum piercing now, the tell-tale brand of the ranch marking it as a sacrifice. Its hair is being squashed by the roof of the car it resides in. It lets out a rumbling sigh.]
"So..."
[It smacks its maw together in a slap.]
"...First of all, ignore my busted-ass...face because--"
[The camera begins to shake as the ogre's voice becomes more nasally inexplicably.]
"--my stomach likes to make me throw up for no reason!"
[The ogre attempts to replace its sunglasses, but only jabs its cheek. It grunts before leaning closer to the camera as it yells.]
"I'm 22, I can handle half a wine cooler!"
[The camera cuts to the ogre, managing to replace its sunglasses off-camera after it rehearses a very real story which absolutely happened and was not fabricated at all.]
"Anyway. I...take my friend's car in to...get an oil change because...he let me use it to go to Colorado, and the guy at the desk proceeds to be flirting with me the entire time, talking about how him and his girlfriend are swingers and how he hasn't been with somebody else for a while but she has and all this stuff, and this whole time in my head I know this motha-fucka's misgenderin' me, and it's fine be-cause this whole time I'm just thinkin' 'yeah, motha-fucka, you think you be fuckin' me..."
[Overcome by its primal instincts, the ogre prepares to devour the camera, stopping just short of dropping the phone into its maw before its rationality briefly wrests control back and returns the camera to its previous position.]
"Ha! I be fuckin' yooouuu! I'll be fuckin' yoooooo-ooouuu!"
[Struggling to control itself, it nearly drops the camera into its maw again. Before it pulls back once more, the ogre's grayed tongue is visible along with an opened hole from a missing piercing in the center.]
"Sexually harass me again, motherfucker, end up with a dick in yo ass, I swear to gaaa-aaahd! Swear to god!"
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- Joined
- Jul 31, 2020
I don't think the guy even called him a man or used male pronouns. I mean, realistically you don't really have much of an opportunity to gender someone when you're talking about them in the second person, this lovely lady just thought he wasn't treating him feminine enough.
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- Aug 21, 2018
Just here to collect my "Called it" sticker.
I went back in Kevin's thread to find all the mentions of the recycling program and it went down the way all the Kiwis said it would. But here is a pretty solid timeline of how things went down (I’ve linked some of my past posts but some info was incorrect):
- Bonnie and Penny were smug posting about a “big deal” that was going to go down late last year.
- Bonnie posting many
because of slow processes. - Bonnie breaks the news that they got awarded the recycling contract for Custer County.
- Many kiwis‘s were confused that this could be quite a big deal and didn’t understand why the county were trusted to these guys who have 0 experience in logistics and refuge collection and the only thing they’ve ever contribution to the refuge system is adding dead alpacas to it.
- Soon Kiwis discover that the original provider went out of business. This provider was operating as a nonprofit but couldn’t even make that stay afloat after Chyna changed their policies on importing American “recyclable” trash.
- Custer county are desperate for this so they let RamRanch have a go.
- However this didn’t stop Bonnie from smug posting that it was going to be “quite lucrative“ and saying that they could hire up to 12 trans people to operate a new recycling center on some new land they wanted to acquire (subsidized by the government of course)
- The gang were given about a month to get set up ready to start collecting recyclable materials.
- They did this by buying three horse trailers that was supposed to be left at strategic areas around Custer County and just have the citizens drop their recyclable trash inside of it
- IT BEGINS
- Almost as soon as the deadline hits, the gang went suspiciously quiet about the recycling, even though before this Bonnie was giving practically daily updates on the progress.
- Less than three months later they announce that they had to scale back the recycling to only collect cans (The only thing that is actually profitable in the recycling industry FYI)
- Maybe 2~3 months later they announce that they are just giving the entire contract to another provider.
- From Kevin’s thread:
It’s up in the air of it will go through, one kiwi shared a news article that because of Covid and China no longer buying trash that the government plans to scrap that initiative.
Also Bonne and co keep tweeting about how stressful and unknown this process is.
I kinda look forward to it if it goes through. It’s one thing to make a Trans slave labor camp working with Alpacas. At least there kinda cute animals and you get to be outdoors.
But taking in mentally unwell trannnies and forcing them to sort out broken glass and metal from literal trash?
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2020
I think this one's actually female? No stubble or even shadow, and there's definite peach fuzz you can see in the "misgendering" video. Plus the voice is, whilst still at the low end for a female, not anywhere in the range of, say, Kevvie and co. where you can tell from the moment they open they're mouth that that's a man. And especially when she gets animated about the "wine cooler" thing, her voice pitch goes up significantly into a definitely non-male range - she's consciously lowering it the rest of the time.
Also "cashier was flirting with me by telling me how he wants to cheat on his gf"/"you think you'll be fucking me?" implies he did see the ogre as female, and that's what she's upset about. Female troons are often obsessed with pegging dudes, too, because something something penetration is manly I guess? Hence the "dick up the ass" comment. My guess would be that she's female and some form of "nonbinary", probably agender/genderfluid because there doesn't seem any effort to look masculine.
(Alternative option is that the ogre is male but is an "agender woman" with an abnormally high voice. Though male troons are usually secretly pretty pleased when someone thinks of them as a woman even if they're claiming some nonbinary shit.)
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2019
And Mr Brain seems to have departed the building, too.