The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[White Devil]

I don't think the guy even called him a man or used male pronouns. I mean, realistically you don't really have much of an opportunity to gender someone when you're talking about them in the second person, this lovely lady just thought he wasn't treating him feminine enough.

You're assuming this wasn't completely made up.

 

[In the Sick of It]

Where did this trailer for guests come from? Last time they were inviting people down to the ranch they were saying people had to bring their own place to sleep.

 

[Old Fart]

Where did this trailer for guests come from? Last time they were inviting people down to the ranch they were saying people had to bring their own place to sleep.

Perhaps they kept one of their "recycling" trailers. Imagine the four-star comfort!

 

[break these cuffs]

Where did this trailer for guests come from? Last time they were inviting people down to the ranch they were saying people had to bring their own place to sleep.

They've had a winnebago style trailer onsite for a while now. I figured that one of the temp troons got dropped off in it since they tell everyone to bring their own shit. Guess some room opened up.

 

[Captain Fitzbattleaxe]

Perhaps they kept one of their "recycling" trailers. Imagine the four-star comfort!

Actually I think that they kept one. When they started the recycling gig they got 3 horse trailers, but the in the photo of the ones that they gave to the dog park there's only two.

 

[voidBits]

but the in the photo of the ones that they gave to the dog park there's only two

Yeah, there's one left that can be seen in some recent photos

And there's 3 proper caravan/trailers on the site, (again from recent photos)
I think the static caravan in the centre is Jarrods seething pit of angst and raeg

The one on the right as seen above, has recently been levelled. I used to notice it in pics and it used to bug me they hadn't bothered sorting it out
But as can be seen below, it's been done and by the car looks like someone was staying in it, probably that insane overly sensitive troon brave valiant gender warrior above

And we have some updates on another of the tranchers misjudged purchases
The metal stairs have arrived

These types of stairs are normally in industrial/commercial type settings and most definitely not residential and that's a bloody steep pitch
I don't know if anyone else has experience of them, but in wet or icy conditions they're fucking murderous
I can still feel the pain in my shins from slipping and catching the tread
And talking of icy conditions, here's the Tranch on the 11th May

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

I don't know if anyone else has experience of them, but in wet or icy conditions they're fucking murderous

Yeah, definitely not for clumsy faggots. Hopefully they salt it regularly so it rusts away in a year.

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

A visitor who appears to have already departed the ranch.

I wonder what these temp troons are volunteering to do while they visit the tranch?
Maybe they’re packing up & shipping the yarn that is assuredly selling like hot cakes off their website?
Or do you think the head troons have them doing stuff like shoveling out Fecal Mountain?

 

[Gone Ham]

I wonder what these temp troons are volunteering to do while they visit the tranch?
Maybe they’re packing up & shipping the yarn that is assuredly selling like hot cakes off their website?
Or do you think the head troons have them doing stuff like shoveling out Fecal Mountain?

They’re a week early for the sheering death fest, so probably doing nothing but hanging out at the frat house

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Yeah, there's one left that can be seen in some recent photos
View attachment 2194816

And there's 3 proper caravan/trailers on the site, (again from recent photos)
I think the static caravan in the centre is Jarrods seething pit of angst and raeg
View attachment 2194820

The one on the right as seen above, has recently been levelled. I used to notice it in pics and it used to bug me they hadn't bothered sorting it out
But as can be seen below, it's been done and by the car looks like someone was staying in it, probably that insane overly sensitive troon brave valiant gender warrior above
View attachment 2194828


And we have some updates on another of the tranchers misjudged purchases
The metal stairs have arrived
View attachment 2194831

These types of stairs are normally in industrial/commercial type settings and most definitely not residential and that's a bloody steep pitch
I don't know if anyone else has experience of them, but in wet or icy conditions they're fucking murderous
I can still feel the pain in my shins from slipping and catching the tread
And talking of icy conditions, here's the Tranch on the 11th May
View attachment 2194834

It's like a more successful La Zorra.

 

[Nothing To See Here]

God, they're really just turning this into the Troon Home for Wayward Hoarders, huh? Random machines and crap piled up all over, no vegetation on the ground, piles of shit and trampled hay, no less than three mobile homes for smelly drifters to stew in... Their neighbours must be getting happier by the week.

 

[Gone Ham]

They went back to the earth shit for the first time in a while (nothing seems to have been changed)

Spoiler: Pics

 

[voidBits]

Tweets and links from above pics

Link | Archive

Link | Archive

 

[Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite]

Do they think the earth ship will just magically transition into a livable space since they identified it as one? I haven't seen anything about them doing work on it, did they buy it and lose interest?

 

[Lovecraft's Cat]

A visitor who appears to have already departed the ranch.

Imagine being retarded enough to flirt with that blob of flesh smh

 

[Fetish Roulette]

Do they think the earth ship will just magically transition into a livable space since they identified it as one? I haven't seen anything about them doing work on it, did they buy it and lose interest?

Given that transgenderism is all about magically transitioning into something you aren't based on identity, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

View attachment 2195168
Imagine being retarded enough to flirt with that blob of flesh smh

 

[Miss Misery]

Wait, Jarrod lives in a trailer? I'm pretty sure that's against county code.

 

[Say What Now?]

I think this one's actually female?

Yes, there's another tik tok video that is some weird, trying to be "sexy" celebration of starting testosterone patches.

"Sexually harass me again, motherfucker, end up with a dick in yo ass, I swear to gaaa-aaahd! Swear to god!"

Knowing the above now, any dick it puts in any ass is going to be strapped on or really really no worse than a proctate exam.

 

[Ghostse]

VIDEO 1:

[Ambient SFX: absolute silence as not even wind blows in the barren tranch wasteland.]

[Deep, raspy breath as the the desolate air scrapes at the recorder's lungs.]

"Doot-de-doo-de-doo, just takin' a walk."

[The camera whips around while an absolute troglodyte is visible for a few frames, stopping on a horde of alpacas standing and huddled in fear of the ogre behind the camera.]

"Oh hai guyz."

[The troglodyte behind the ogre laughs.]

"Are you followin' us?"

[More rasps from the ogre as walking a few steps pushes it to the brink of exhaustion.]

"Keep walkin', Lexi."

[In response to being called "Lexi," the troglodyte steps back. The alpacas maintain their careful distance as the ogre also backpedals.]

"Oh yeah, they're followin' us."

VIDEO 2:

[Ambient SFX: standard white noise.]

[An ogre with wispy cotton candy stuck to its head is visible. All its features, from its mouth to its eyes, are swollen and sallow, and freckled with moles and pock marks. Its face undulates as it speaks. A message is visible reading "can I have them all," presumably in response to the alpacas in the previous video.]

"Sooo, auhm...they aren't mine."

[The ogre places its paw on its chest, motioning at itself.]

"I'm currently out here volunteering at an alpaca rae-yanch in Colorado. Uhm...it's called the 'Tenacious Unicorn Ranch,' it's run by a bunch of lovely queer people...uhm...and..."

[The ogre turns it head, presumably to witness Paul's feral nature take over as he mutilates and devours an alpaca offscreen.]

"It's just...beautiful...and..."

[The ogre begins to shake its head, struggling to come up with compliments for the tranch.]

"...Wonderful...and...they're being so hospitable...and letting us stay in a trailer while we help thay-yum. Aaa-aaand...if you wanna help out or wanna come see these babies then you should look them up on Twitter and try to come help. Uhm, or they have a website, as well."

[The ogre furrows its brow and its eyes turn to a blank stare, struggling to concentrate as the drugs laced in the meal provided by Phillip earlier begin to take hold.]

"I...will try to figure out what it is, put it in my bio."

[The ogre's face finally spasm as it loses all fine motor control. The camera cuts to a shot outside of a window an indefinite amount of time later. An expanse of dirt dotted with alpacas is visible.]

"I mean, come on..."

[The ogre begins to pant as its cardiovascular system begins to shut down.]

"Come on! This is the view from my trailer! Come volunteer out here guys, seriously, because it's beautiful...and...rewarding."

VIDEO 3:

[Ambient SFX: dead, numbing silence.]

[The ogre is now in a car. It is wearing sunglasses which it quickly removes while speaking, and has a septum piercing now, the tell-tale brand of the ranch marking it as a sacrifice. Its hair is being squashed by the roof of the car it resides in. It lets out a rumbling sigh.]

"So..."

[It smacks its maw together in a slap.]

"...First of all, ignore my busted-ass...face because--"

[The camera begins to shake as the ogre's voice becomes more nasally inexplicably.]

"--my stomach likes to make me throw up for no reason!"

[The ogre attempts to replace its sunglasses, but only jabs its cheek. It grunts before leaning closer to the camera as it yells.]

"I'm 22, I can handle half a wine cooler!"

[The camera cuts to the ogre, managing to replace its sunglasses off-camera after it rehearses a very real story which absolutely happened and was not fabricated at all.]

"Anyway. I...take my friend's car in to...get an oil change because...he let me use it to go to Colorado, and the guy at the desk proceeds to be flirting with me the entire time, talking about how him and his girlfriend are swingers and how he hasn't been with somebody else for a while but she has and all this stuff, and this whole time in my head I know this motha-fucka's misgenderin' me, and it's fine be-cause this whole time I'm just thinkin' 'yeah, motha-fucka, you think you be fuckin' me..."

[Overcome by its primal instincts, the ogre prepares to devour the camera, stopping just short of dropping the phone into its maw before its rationality briefly wrests control back and returns the camera to its previous position.]

"Ha! I be fuckin' yooouuu! I'll be fuckin' yoooooo-ooouuu!"

[Struggling to control itself, it nearly drops the camera into its maw again. Before it pulls back once more, the ogre's grayed tongue is visible along with an opened hole from a missing piercing in the center.]

"Sexually harass me again, motherfucker, end up with a dick in yo ass, I swear to gaaa-aaahd! Swear to god!"

Thank you for your service.