What is your ideal mate?

I'm a tiny twinkboy. Any 16-year-old girl neck deep in obnoxious AO3 slash will tell you that means I require a hulking 6'5" scruffy Chad proficient in dispersing Bad Guys with a glower and the art of the fireman carry. With one of those nauseating syrupy dynamics where the couple each calls himself the "luckiest guy alive" when he's out drinking with friends and they playfully make fun of one another in private. And you know what? I guess I'm a creepy 16 year old girl now. At least fictional Chad responds to his boyfriend's stress like an adult human male and not with the anxious toadying The Gays all seem to jump to.
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I'm a tiny twinkboy. Any 16-year-old girl neck deep in obnoxious AO3 slash will tell you that means I require a hulking 6'5" scruffy Chad proficient in dispersing Bad Guys with a glower and the art of the fireman carry. With one of those nauseating syrupy dynamics where the couple each calls himself the "luckiest guy alive" when he's out drinking with friends and they playfully make fun of one another in private. And you know what? I guess I'm a creepy 16 year old girl now. At least fictional Chad responds to his boyfriend's stress like an adult human male and not with the anxious toadying The Gays all seem to jump to.
You sound crazy as shit and potentially hot. DM me.
 
I find men that are a little metrosexual, extroverted and very confident (the fake bravado sort for the lulz in especial) to be annoyingly attractive. Must be because they are basically my polar opposite.

As for woman it's more superficial: Decent waist to hip ratio, natural boobs (fuckin hate fake tits) and not obese is win.

For both: Must have all teeth and shower at least 1 time per day.
 
I really prefer tomboys or cute cosplayers, usually end up with the latter.
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Got a date today so you decide amongst yourself which one it is. Night farmers.
 
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We live in a society, not a Build-a-Bint.

Anyways, I would like a woman that won't stab me in the spleen. Seeing, however, that I live in Current Year + 6, I don't think I'll be able to find this kind of woman.

Even if I compromise and settle for them stabbing me in the thigh, I'm pretty sure I'm ending up in the hospital for a spleen injury.

I really prefer tomboys or cute cosplayers
you're playing with fire my guy
 
My ideal mate doesn't exist because I myself find the concept of romantic love to be more work than it's worth. Sometimes I feel like fucking or hanging out etc but a committed relationship like comes to mind with the phrase "mate" requires constant care and maintenance that I just don't want to waste my time on. It's extremely annoying to me when I just want to focus on my shit or doing something and I'm expected to care what some other hairless monkey thinks or that I may have pissed it off by not answering my phone by the 6th call etc. So I just save everyone some time and effort by sticking to noncommittal casual sex while also judging them for noncommittal casual sex.
 
We live in a society, not a Build-a-Bint.

Anyways, I would like a woman that won't stab me in the spleen. Seeing, however, that I live in Current Year + 6, I don't think I'll be able to find this kind of woman.

Even if I compromise and settle for them stabbing me in the thigh, I'm pretty sure I'm ending up in the hospital for a spleen injury.


you're playing with fire my guy
If you get stabbed by anyone, it will be because you're an insufferable pseudointellectual aspie not because its 2021
 
If you get stabbed by anyone, it will be because you're an insufferable pseudointellectual aspie not because its 2021
I'm sorry, I have to refuse your advances. I'm not inclined to procreate with people whose IQ is their age.

also don't have sex
 
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Someone just as miserable as I am.
 
I’d like a woman who has a general interest in the world, is capable of appreciating broad ranges of subjects. Not one of those bland people (most people) who don’t seem to care about anything but their specific hobby/pet subject.
 
My wife is a green-thumb bookish sort, unfortunately she likes Harry Potter but she has read other books too. Shy and emotionally vulnerable, makes me feel protective of her.

Open-minded but romantically idealistic at the same time
Wants together time about the same as me, we both have our hobbies and she expects to be able to discuss them with me and I've learned to offer solutions in the form of a question and then leave it alone.
Little too self-critical, but she seems to like to show that at me because she wants my brutal honesty

Probably never would have picked any of her traits abstractly before I met her, but the distinct parts of her personality (and bothering the shit out of her about them) are the things I think about now.

I would do anything just to hear that angelic laugh everyday.
I saved "No optimus! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Is this real life?" as my wife's ringtone for my work phone number. No regrets.
 
Realpost: I really liked fucking about in my first-year aikido class, and loved hanging out with the engineering department. So someone from an engineering faculty where we can take turns beating eachother up would probably be rad
 
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