Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[NoReturn]

So was listening to this podcast:

Pantheon & Pandemonium: May 2021 Q&A - The Lord of Spirits | Ancient Faith Ministries

It's all Q&A, all the time. Fr. Stephen De Young and Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick make it an open-line night at the podcast. - An episode of the The Lord of Spirits podcast on Ancient Faith Radio

www.ancientfaith.com

And for those curious, the very last question they receive (around the -14:10 mark) is one about "Christian Witchcraft" and/or paganism.

I know most here don't care, but thought it would be of interest to one or two of you.

Ha ha, Flexo loves Jesus.

---

Thread Content

Spoiler: A few bits of good content

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

That witch cat tattoo is better than Anisa’s cat tattoo

 

[EyelessMC]

Ha ha, Flexo loves Jesus.

Flexo always was Best Bot

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"A lot of witches are invisible" Just because no one wants to see you doesn't mean they can't.

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Okay I genuinely liked that one.

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"It could be a painting" yes, hang in in the Louvre and title it: "Modernity"

That witch cat tattoo is better than Anisa’s cat tattoo

Every tattoo looks better than Anisa's tattoos. I know what you mean, though. It really is some artistry there in the likeness of it, but tattooing yourself over your pet is still nuts. If you really want to honor their passing, try drawing or painting something.
Also make sure to pay for cremation so witches don't creep around to steal their bones for spells.

"Anoint a photo of the lover you desire"
Are these niggas telling me to do cum tributes?

lol Basically anything and everything with semen is magic I guess. Just smear it on the walls and utensils before inviting a girl to dinner. She'll be enchanted.
Jokes aside, the "slip your jizz in her food" bit is really unnerving.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

Spoiler

Angie
She taught us about hiraeth and the many uses of cinnamon,
And has persevered through addiction.
A unique individual, but we don't mind that she's different.
She might have been odd, but maybe that's what made her magnificent.


modernwitchtips just seems like they're having some fun. It might be weird but so is the rest of Tumblr.


Dip your toes in honey mustard and you have a buyer.


Okay, just make sure to brush your teeth first.


Just smear period blood on your phone.


>man will die instantly
I'm going to need some testimonials on that one.


You're saying we should be scared of people that burn women alive?! That's kinkshaming uwu.


I think the problem is you.


It's kind of sad that you can't think of anything to do during summer break.


Hemorrhoids, here we come!


If you are a typical magick practitioner, you don't have anything to worry about hunny.


They all hate you.


I feel kind of bad for the ancient Greek gods if these are really the worshippers they're stuck with.



Why do they need ground cinnamon and cinnamon sticks?


I would be so angry if my initials were egg.


@WinchesterPremium you're the prettiest boy.


I'm so glad I don't live in south America.

 

[NoReturn]

[TikTok]

What is that godawful beeping in that video? A carbon-monoxide detector?

Angie
She taught us about hiraeth and the many uses of cinnamon,
And has persevered through addiction.
A unique individual, but we don't mind that she's different.
She might have been odd, but maybe that's what made her magnificent.

She is survived by her rats. May one of them inherit her haminja and carry on her ways.

modernwitchtips just seems like they're having some fun. It might be weird but so is the rest of Tumblr.

Them using Colin Robinson as a reaction image is also perfect.

It's kind of sad that you can't think of anything to do during summer break.

That just means the public education system is working. She'll grow up to be a perfect office worker. One who never takes vacation time or sick days because she feels worse if she isn't doing something "productive".

---

Thread content:

Ooooooo. Angie gonna be maaaaad.
Also:
This one is for @Marshal Mannerheim

Spoiler: More TikToks in here

 

[Small-arms Supremacy]

She is survived by her rats. May one of them inherit her haminja and carry on her ways.

Is she dead or is she just not posting here anymore?

I like to imagine someone discovering this grimoire in the future in a completely stable time and the feminism learned from it ends up destroying society again.

This one is for @Marshal Mannerheim

My man about to explode on hearing her say Catholics worship the virgin Mary

 

[NoReturn]

Is she dead or is she just not posting here anymore?

She's alive and not posting her anymore. We're just teasing her for her comment about her obituary since we know she keeps lurking.

My man about to explode on hearing her say Catholics worship the virgin Mary

What's that? He needs more you say? Okie dokie!

Spoiler

 

[Small-arms Supremacy]

She's alive and not posting her anymore. We're just teasing her for her comment about her obituary since we know she keeps lurking.

What's that? He needs more you say? Okie dokie!

Spoiler

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Whining on TikTok about how witchcraft and Catholicism are compatible is a core part of being a Catholic witch

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

This one is for @Marshal Mannerheim
Your browser is not able to display this video.

Very cool, Novus Ordos, very cool.

At least she isn't playing hymns to Gaia at a Mass, because I've seen people do that.

My man about to explode on hearing her say Catholics worship the Virgin Mary

The problem with this is not that someone's failing to understand the difference between dulia and latria because lots of non-Catholics do that.

The problem is that someone who was, in theory, catechised is trotting out the sort of ”mother goddess” smears you'd expect to see in a Chick tract. How have we failed to explain basic concepts like this or ”abortion is a bad thing” to Catholic youth?

 

[RazorBackBacon]

We pulling our craftwork from Shakespeare now?

 

[NoReturn]

Apparently it's the Super Flower Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse and we all had no idea. We're terrible witches!

Spoiler: Lunatics (get it?)

Spoiler: Moon secrets? Shadows? Sounds serious!

Spoiler: Don't worry, I'll protect us, just play this magic incantation

Ha! You guys thought it was going to be something bad! Double-prank!

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

Ngl the supermoon is actually cool, are these people make it sound super mystical due to superstition?

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Ngl the supermoon is actually cool, are these people make it sound super mystical due to superstition?

How many of them even knew about supermoons before today?

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I'm a benevolent warlock, so I figure I'll ignore all the naysayers in this thread who claim magic doesn't work and share a very effective spell I was taught years ago in wizard school:

What is War Water and How Do You Use It?​

---

War Water is a particularly powerful bit of magic stemming from American witchcraft traditions in the South. Contrary to popular belief, war water is not rooted in Hoodoo but in European influenced folk magic practices. Due to this, debates about which is the most “authentic” recipe for war water are unproductive. Folk magic practices in the early parts of white American history were not well documented and the specifics of these practices were likely kept within close knit family circles.
The result is that spells such as this one have always had quite a bit of variation. This lack of homogenization leaves us with many traditional recipes for spells such as war water and most of them do contain the grain of authenticity that many modern witches crave in their practice.

What exactly is War Water?​

War Water is an offensive form of protective magic, it’s used to remove disruptive forces from your life and restore peace. It is also, in many circles, considered a form of cursing as it is commonly thought to sow discord among your enemies.
This recipe for war water does come from a Southern tradition, meaning that some of the ingredients may not be available in other areas. If Spanish Moss doesn’t grow where you live it’s perfectly acceptable to replace it with ingredients that are more readily available for you. Cayenne pepper or wormwood would both make decent substitutes.

You Will Need:​

• Cut iron nails
• Spanish Moss
• Water (swamp water or pond water is preferable)

War water is made by placing iron nails and Spanish moss into a jar of water. The jar is then allowed to sit for a period of several weeks, breathing it (opening it to allow oxygen in) occasionally to speed up the oxidation process during the first week only. The nails will rust and the moss will decompose leaving the water a red or black color and smelling very swampy.
Traditionally, to use war water you would break the jar on the land, doorstep or at the feet of your enemy, and whomever walks through it will have the curse laid upon them. If breaking a glass jar on someones porch seems a bit much to you however, there are other ways of using it. The spell works just as well if you simply pour the war water out on their land or, alternatively, you can sprinkle it around the outside perimeter of your own land as a preemptive protective measure.

That's right, using offensive protective magic, restoring peace in your life, and sewing discord among your enemy is as easy as filling a glass jar with rusty nails and rotting vegetation and throwing it at people you don't like. They'll be cursed when they step on it!
I've heard this curse tends to manifest as muscle stiffness, fever, headache, and breathing problems, but legend has it that you can ward yourself against such vile magics by ensuring you're up to date on your tetanus vaccine.

Bonus warlock tip: try adding your own urine then washing your floor with it to reverse curses/hexes! Ordinarily this would simply replace the original curse with one that makes your house smell like a hobo lives there, but nobody will ever notice due to the strong odor of cat urine that marks the homes of all powerful magic users.

Spoiler

Maybe this person is schizophrenic but this is a rare case I think could be legit. I knew a girl with the exact same issues and her mother did some black magic on her as a child. 'Incubus demons' don't exist but I can vouch for the fact that demons can and do become attracted to people, following and harassing them, especially if the person is entirely unprotected and/or literally invited demons over through a ritual. Unfortunately for the person who posted that, looking to more occult books will likely make the problem worse instead of solving it.

I too know a girl who was possessed by a demon, but thankfully her mother followed magical protocols by locking her in a closet, so to this day she remains demon free.

Last I heard she eventually moved to Washington and is now happily married to a popular variety streamer with 12 years experience in video content creation, where she spends her days mashing potatoes, playing animal crossing, and looking after her rambunctious cat-son.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

The problem is that someone who was, in theory, catechised is trotting out the sort of ”mother goddess” smears you'd expect to see in a Chick tract. How have we failed to explain basic concepts like this or ”abortion is a bad thing” to Catholic youth?

Catechesis is in a horrible state right now.

In my parish the priest who was actually a GOOD catechist got transferred to the high school. None of the rest know how to talk to kids in a way that's even remotely engaging, so I'm not surprised some would eventually fall into obvious heresy.

 

[NoReturn]

TikTok dump:

Spoiler: In here

"I know you're cheating on me!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"THE MATCHES, MARK! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

 

[RazorBackBacon]

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TikTok dump:

"Women Who Run With Wolves"? Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. If memory serves, it's worse than "Reign of the Phallus" in terms of historical/cultural revisionism.

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The most obvious case of pareidolia I've ever seen. It barely even looks like a face.

 

[Small-arms Supremacy]

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TikTok dump:

Spoiler: In here

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"I know you're cheating on me!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"THE MATCHES, MARK! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

My man single handedly carrying the thread by exposing himself to immeasurable cringe for our entertainment

 

[Bitch I eat people]

Nazis are allowed to use the bottom row though, it doesn't say not to.

 

[gata]

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Nazis are allowed to use the bottom row though, it doesn't say not to.

lmao a stupid picture won't stop white supremacists using them. I like how immature the writing is, it's like a little kid going "I don't like that!1! stop it! waaaaahhhh"
Also these runes don't belong to you either hon, they belong to an ancient culture that don't exist anymore. You don't get to decide who uses it. If Mr. Vargson wants to LARP as we wuz white Vikings he will do it without your consent.