Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

MirnaMinkoff said:
It’s probably a good thing he’s got a limp dick. I can’t imagine how long that poor girl has to suck him off to get a half-chub...but of course it’s all his wife’s fault.

I actually wonder if Bam has low sperm count or something because he’s got a shocking lack of bastard children for a guy in his position (young, had money, MTV fame, constantly drunk with skanks all over him, I do not believe he would use condoms) He was with Nicole for over five years before they had a kid.

Those videos with the new skank are obviously aimed at Niki. Niki must have some access to the IG because she then posted a video of herself making some cameo in a stunt reel or something. I'm going to guess Niki finally took off with Phoenix or gave Bam an ultimatum, which is how he ended up in Florida for another failed rehab stint. I wonder if their lease on whatever AirBnB or lease they had in LA was up on June 1? Where would Nicky have gone with the kid? Stayed in LA or headed back to Philly with Bam's parents? Obviously Bam is now living the barfly single life at the moment. I do wonder how the hell he's getting around from Arizona to Florida to wherever he may turn up next. Is it verified he's currently in Arizona and that wasn't just a stop on his way to Florida?

Given his Lambo sale and some other signs I think Bam's money is running low so the next few months could be interesting.
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Man, this reminds me of Jackass Spermathon. Rick ultimately won with Knoxville had the lowest count. Bam was there but it wouldn't surprise me has a low sperm count as you mentioned he slept around but only has 1 kid? The same with Steve-O who had a vasectomy and prefer raise animals with his girlfriend. Hell, Knoxville has a few kids now that I think of it. Guess it's different wanting to have a kid than having sex. Sure there's a chance you can father a child out of wedlock, but I think it works better if the couple tries to have to kid or using a sperm donor. Someone asks Rick.
 
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Tootsie Bear said:
Guess it's different wanting to have a kid than having sex. Sure there's a chance you can father a child out of wedlock, but I think it works better if the couple tries to have to kid or using a sperm donor. Someone asks Rick.
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No, it works pretty much the same regardless of any intentions. I think accidental pregnancies are probably more common than planned ones.

If you’re fertile and fuck (without protection) you will end up with kids.
 
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DumbDude42 said:
have to do it on a regular basis for reliable results though (or do autistic day by day period tracking to pinpoint maximum fertility timings)
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People with fertility issues and married couples who really want kids autistically track it to try and get pregnant. Teenagers, average people, addicts and drunk dumbasses manage to accidentally get pregnant all the time.

Section 8 housing projects, jails, trailer parks, the foster care system and abortion clinics are all a testament to good old fucking without thinking of consequences.

It’s what makes Bam’s lack of bastard children odd because he was certainly sleeping with plenty of fertile young women over the years. Just look at your average NBA or NFL star that has 3 and 4 babies mamma’s before they finally wise up and use condoms or get snipped. It takes at least $50k a month in various child support payments before they stop accidentally knocking up random thots and GF of the week.
 
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DumbDude42 said:
well maybe not, maybe the speculation about him being a repressed homo aren't so far from the truth
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This is the other very viable option I considered. Given his open lust for Ville I always thought his hanging out with strippers and constant references to (straight) sex and such might have all been a facade.

He certainly is obsessed with sex, but the homo type certainly takes up way more room in his brain and conversations.
 
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Bogs said:
What's stressful about conceiving? Just fuck when she's about to ovulate. And then fuck when she's not for good measure.
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Because if you make plans they often dont go through. It's the same thing as trying to get laid. If you go out with the mindset "I'm going to fuck a woman tonight" chances ate you're not going to fuck a woman that night because you have that goal in the back of your head, you're going to try too hard, and at the end of the night you didn't get your dick wet and you're disappointed.

People who don't think about or care if they hook up usually always hook up. Same thing with having a baby. You think Jamal or Cletus ever planned on having a kid? No, because they don't think ahead further than 5 minutes ahead.
 
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MirnaMinkoff said:
People with fertility issues and married couples who really want kids autistically track it to try and get pregnant. Teenagers, average people, addicts and drunk dumbasses manage to accidentally get pregnant all the time.

Section 8 housing projects, jails, trailer parks, the foster care system and abortion clinics are all a testament to good old fucking without thinking of consequences.

It’s what makes Bam’s lack of bastard children odd because he was certainly sleeping with plenty of fertile young women over the years. Just look at your average NBA or NFL star that has 3 and 4 babies mamma’s before they finally wise up and use condoms or get snipped. It takes at least $50k a month in various child support payments before they stop accidentally knocking up random thots and GF of the week.
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The Jackass crew had more than a decade of the Rockstar life. Would not be shocked at all if there were several bastard teenagers of Bam, Steve-O, and Pontius running around America & Europe.

If I remember correctly Bam even proudly talked about how he had two side girls when his marriage with Missy was on the rocks. One of those girls was undoubtedly Nikki.

Nikki definitely seems like the type of woman who tolerates if not approves of her man sleeping around. She may not be the brightest bulb but she surely knew what she was getting into when becoming Mrs. Margera.
 
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Cardenio said:
The Jackass crew had more than a decade of the Rockstar life. Would not be shocked at all if there were several bastard teenagers of Bam, Steve-O, and Pontius running around America & Europe.

If I remember correctly Bam even proudly talked about how he had two side girls when his marriage with Missy was on the rocks. One of those girls was undoubtedly Nikki.

Nikki definitely seems like the type of woman who tolerates if not approves of her man sleeping around. She may not be the brightest bulb but she surely knew what she was getting into when becoming Mrs. Margera.
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I thought Nikki got with Bam as he was on the downside of fame, well after Missy and MTV shows by many years.

Nikki absolutely knew Bam would not be monogamous, hell I’d bet threesomes were required in the early years.

However, they obviously gone through some very ugly patches since then, she’s put up with some ugly shit and had a kid. I’d bet Nikki has tried to renegotiate their relationship after each nasty meltdown/break-up/rehab stint. I figure she at least expects Bam not to flaunt girls on SM at this point.
 
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MirnaMinkoff said:
I thought Nikki got with Bam as he was on the downside of fame, well after Missy and MTV shows by many years.

Nikki absolutely knew Bam would not be monogamous, hell I’d bet threesomes were required in the early years.

However, they obviously gone through some very ugly patches since then, she’s put up with some ugly shit and had a kid. I’d bet Nikki has tried to renegotiate their relationship after each nasty meltdown/break-up/rehab stint. I figure she at least expects Bam not to flaunt girls on SM at this point.
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The stripper took down the videos posted on her tik-tok. Archived version with my commentary is about a page back for those who want to see it.
 
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Bam seems like the guy who always needed to have a gf. I had a friend in HS very similar to this. Bam was with Jenn for years. Then whatever that TV stunt Missy was, and now Nikki. It seems he simps hard for a woman until he gets bored. Time on the Nikki train looks like it is coming to an end.
 
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Kat The TanTen10 said:
Bam seems like the guy who always needed to have a gf. I had a friend in HS very similar to this. Bam was with Jenn for years. Then whatever that TV stunt Missy was, and now Nikki. It seems he simps hard for a woman until he gets bored. Time on the Nikki train looks like it is coming to an end.
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It kind of reminds me in some ways of CWC. I don't think it has much to do with companionship, but more to do with the fact that he needs somebody to take care of him.
 
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LordofCringe7206 said:
It kind of reminds me in some ways of CWC. I don't think it has much to do with companionship, but more to do with the fact that he needs somebody to take care of him.
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I have always gotten the impression that Bam doesn’t like women, but girlfriends and wives play mommy for him. He’s needs some one to soothe him when he has tantrums and tell him how much better he is than Johnny Knoxville.

Women are also more likely to be willing emotional punching bags for assholes. I sort of feel sorry for Nicole. Given the humiliation and shit we have seen Bam subject her to and post publicly without thinking there’s any problem I can only imagine what he subjects her to privately. Pretty grim.

Boogie1488 School Zone said:
Somehow I picture the novel Crash
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Bam is way too fat for Ballard’s world.
 
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