The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[KooksandFreaks]

I like how he needed volunteers to help him screw some pallets together.

I wouldn't trust a farmer/rancher with clean pants. It means they aren't working. Farming is a dirty business and I was just on one today laughing about who how yuppies would be horrified to see the farm their delicious organic fruits and veggies were coming from. You clean and sanitize the equipment and product, but it's a dirty game.

Fortunately we know in this instance that they're just a bunch of slobs and don't have a functioning farm/ranch.

Those plants from the nursery are already dead. And those shitty pallets will disintegrate after another winter or fall over in the first serious wind.

 

[Nothing To See Here]

Joshua is a solid name

There's two of them, so we could have a Joshua, and a Moon... or a Kiwi and a Farms...

I'd ask how we're gonna afford the auction, but wouldn't you know it, Kiwi Farms is conveniently under attack once more from those awful chud nazi fascist cis people. To the godfundme, lads, posthaste, to allow us to buy alpaca names cheap shitty plate armour and larp guns to defend ourselves!

 

[Captain Hastings Official]

Also, overcrowding your ranch so your livestock starve is "camp" now. View attachment 2231175

"The perceived surplus or frivolity is the point. Hence the large number of alpaca (nearly 200, as of January): It's a sensibility, a vision - a distinctly ecological one." I keep running these sentences over and over in my head, trying to get them to make sense, and it doesn't work. It's competely fucked. I've seen Young Earth Creationists make more lucid points than this. What the fuck, man.

 

[Gone Ham]

There's two of them, so we could have a Joshua, and a Moon... or a Kiwi and a Farms...

I'd ask how we're gonna afford the auction, but wouldn't you know it, Kiwi Farms is conveniently under attack once more from those awful chud nazi fascist cis people. To the godfundme, lads, posthaste, to allow us to buy alpaca names cheap shitty plate armour and larp guns to defend ourselves!

I mean, if this thread wanted to really do it, we could probably outbid every else. However, any name we would pick would be rejected. Also Am and Hole seems to be better names

 

[UVB-76]

Confirmation Jarrod is in the RV
View attachment 2231151
Link | Archive

I know lumber prices skyrocketed but this is embarrassing.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Those plants from the nursery are already dead.

NANI?!

This is still an unprecedented amount of personal effort, though. I think, on an aesthetic level, if you're going to live in the middle of nowhere, you should be building bizarre ramshackle shit out of pallets and concrete. Pallet fences and deathtrap greenhouses, sure, but this is also the ideal venue for a garden of chickenwire-and-cement statues of LGBT++ icons, painted with donated house paint.

 

[Tom Myers]

https://www.npr.org/2021/06/01/9999...in-rural-colorado-just-wants-to-be-left-alone

I'm honestly surprised that we don't have an OP on Merritt Kopas, the "jawbone surgery due to body dysmorphia bone ear-rings" girl.

 

[Coily]

These folks don't seem too eager to be left alone.

This is even sadder than those clowns at Mugabetown.

 

[Swerf'n'Terf]

Everyone's suggestions are great!

I'd personally like to name the baby alpaca 'Kevin'.

 

[Barbarus]

There's two of them, so we could have a Joshua, and a Moon... or a Kiwi and a Farms...

I'd ask how we're gonna afford the auction, but wouldn't you know it, Kiwi Farms is conveniently under attack once more from those awful chud nazi fascist cis people. To the godfundme, lads, posthaste, to allow us to buy alpaca names cheap shitty plate armour and larp guns to defend ourselves!

Kiwi and moon are two great ones

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

Kiwi and moon are two great ones

“Am” and “Hole” has a certain ring to it.

 

[SCRAM]

I, for one, am excited to welcome Cope and Seethe into the world. Don't starve too soon, little guys!

EDIT: I read some of that NPR article, and it led me to a local news site called the Sangre de Christo Sentinel, who republished some kind of tranch article. Here's the link and archive to it, but what I found especially interesting in the middle of the article (which was ass-kissing, as tranch articles tend to be) was this:

View attachment 2231167

The tranch trained their firearms on local members of the community, and even these guys can't make it sound good. Woe is us- one or two unarmed right wing Nazis per day appear at the end of our driveway and look at the new neighbors!

Also, overcrowding your ranch so your livestock starve is "camp" now. View attachment 2231175

In the states, if you point a rifle at someone when you're on your own property but can't articulate a threat beyond "they looked at us funny" (You're a bunch of fucking clowns doing weird shit, why pay for the circus when the show is in your back yard?) could it be grounds for a brandishing charge?

EDIT: It might be even worse if they're on the other side of the property line.

Sorry if it's a stupid question I live in Canada which I love but unfortunately only one culture matters here and being a 30 something white guy means everything I do is basically a hate crime.

 

[Dagobert]

In the states, if you point a rifle at someone when you're on your own property but can't articulate a threat beyond "they looked at us funny" (You're a bunch of fucking clowns doing weird shit, why pay for the circus when the show is in your back yard?) could it be grounds for a brandishing charge?

EDIT: It might be even worse if they're on the other side of the property line.

Sorry if it's a stupid question I live in Canada which I love but unfortunately only one culture matters here and being a 30 something white guy means everything I do is basically a hate crime.

It depends on state laws, and I am not a lawyer, but I suspect it would count as menacing. Colorado is a stand-your-ground state which means you can use deadly force to defend yourself without retreating. It even has a "make my day" law that allows one to kill an illegal intruder in your home.

But on property alone or outside the home, you are not allowed to use deadly force to protect yourself unless you have a reasonable belief:

• You are in imminent danger of being killed or sustaining great bodily injury,
  
  
• The assailant is committing a burglary and is about to use physical force against the occupant.
  
  
• The assailant is committing a kidnapping, robbery, sexual assault, or a felony assault.

Since deadly force isn't otherwise allowed, unless the Tranchlings could demonstrate that they genuinely believed one of those three categories was going to happen, the display of deadly weapons in a threatening manner is probably going to be considered menacing and would be a Class 5 felony.

 

[break these cuffs]

It depends on state laws, and I am not a lawyer, but I suspect it would count as menacing. Colorado is a stand-your-ground state which means you can use deadly force to defend yourself without retreating. It even has a "make my day" law that allows one to kill an illegal intruder in your home.

But on property alone or outside the home, you are not allowed to use deadly force to protect yourself unless you have a reasonable belief:

• You are in imminent danger of being killed or sustaining great bodily injury,
  
  
• The assailant is committing a burglary and is about to use physical force against the occupant.
  
  
• The assailant is committing a kidnapping, robbery, sexual assault, or a felony assault.

Since deadly force isn't otherwise allowed, unless the Tranchlings could demonstrate that they genuinely believed one of those three categories was going to happen, the display of deadly weapons in a threatening manner is probably going to be considered menacing and would be a Class 5 felony.

It's really lucky for the Tranch that Earl and his violent militia of murders piss their pants and run away when confronted by fat men. They won't ever have to risk any brandishing related charges. It's really unlucky that they didn't get any pictures or videos from that confrontation. Imagine the donations they could have gotten with proof they were under siege by rednecks.

 

[Dagobert]

It's really lucky for the Tranch that Earl and his violent militia of murders piss their pants and run away when confronted by fat men. They won't ever have to risk any brandishing related charges. It's really unlucky that they didn't get any pictures or videos from that confrontation. Imagine the donations they could have gotten with proof they were under siege by rednecks.

You'd think that if the police are all fascists, these literal NAZIS would cozy on up to the police for the potential menacing charge.

 

[break these cuffs]

Does this dirty troon ever change his fucking clothes, ffs?

View attachment 2231170

I almost forgot to laugh at how Paul is so fat that the straps from his dropleg wind up down around his knee.

 

[Prolego]

Another still from the film that's probably not giving out the message they want to. Penny (I think) tweeted a couple of days ago that the eighth lamb of the season had just been born. I don't know if this shot precedes that or not, but here's Daisy bottle feeding no less than five of the poor things. At this point my only guess is that they've seen too many old films where the nurses whip away new born human babies to give them a wash before handing them back to their mothers and are doing the same to their lambs, then wondering why they are rejected. A rejection rate of over 50% is truly bonkers.

 

[KooksandFreaks]

NANI?!

This is still an unprecedented amount of personal effort, though. I think, on an aesthetic level, if you're going to live in the middle of nowhere, you should be building bizarre ramshackle shit out of pallets and concrete. Pallet fences and deathtrap greenhouses, sure, but this is also the ideal venue for a garden of chickenwire-and-cement statues of LGBT++ icons, painted with donated house paint.

If you’re gonna go off the grid and be all artistic and shit? You have to do it everyday. It’s called work.

Meanwhile, the everyday, mundane chores like cooking, cleaning and doing laundry remain. Don’t even get me started on caring for livestock.

Getting the feeling the “friendly” neighbors are just waiting for the inevitable. Once the Tranch fails? They will buy them out for cash.

 

[Particle Bored]

View attachment 2231329
https://www.npr.org/2021/06/01/9999...in-rural-colorado-just-wants-to-be-left-alone

I'm honestly surprised that we don't have an OP on Merritt Kopas, the "jawbone surgery due to body dysmorphia bone ear-rings" girl.

Her follow-up was even better:

In the states, if you point a rifle at someone when you're on your own property but can't articulate a threat beyond "they looked at us funny" (You're a bunch of fucking clowns doing weird shit, why pay for the circus when the show is in your back yard?) could it be grounds for a brandishing charge?

It depends on state laws, and I am not a lawyer, but I suspect it would count as menacing. Colorado is a stand-your-ground state which means you can use deadly force to defend yourself without retreating. It even has a "make my day" law that allows one to kill an illegal intruder in your home.

But on property alone or outside the home, you are not allowed to use deadly force to protect yourself unless you have a reasonable belief:

• You are in imminent danger of being killed or sustaining great bodily injury,
  
  
• The assailant is committing a burglary and is about to use physical force against the occupant.
  
  
• The assailant is committing a kidnapping, robbery, sexual assault, or a felony assault.

Since deadly force isn't otherwise allowed, unless the Tranchlings could demonstrate that they genuinely believed one of those three categories was going to happen, the display of deadly weapons in a threatening manner is probably going to be considered menacing and would be a Class 5 felony.

I assume to be classified as menacing/assault, the victim would have to know they were being aimed at. Given the distance to the road, that would probably be unlikely without binoculars. If the rifle was loaded (and why wouldnt it be), probably still a good case for "reckless endangerment," though. Class 3 misdemeanor.

 

[KooksandFreaks]

Another still from the film that's probably not giving out the message they want to. Penny (I think) tweeted a couple of days ago that the eighth lamb of the season had just been born. I don't know if this shot precedes that or not, but here's Daisy bottle feeding no less than five of the poor things. At this point my only guess is that they've seen too many old films where the nurses whip away new born human babies to give them a wash before handing them back to their mothers and are doing the same to their lambs, then wondering why they are rejected. A rejection rate of over 50% is truly bonkers.

View attachment 2231816

Your avi is everything.