My phone is just as autistic as me.

[Cup Noodle]

I have the cheese shutter turned on on my LG phone. It is supposed to work with the words cheese, smile, whiskey, kimchi, and LG. I take a lot of pictures for work and the other day it dawned on me to try the Japanese version of cheese. Chiizu. It fucking works. You really have to ham it up though and pretend you are a flat faced squinty eyed Japanese teenage girl though. Just saying chiizu won't work. It's got to be
Chiiiiiiiizuuuuuu!!!!! or it won't work. My phone has autism and I approve.

 

[feelings]

and somewhere in japan, right now, flat faced squinty school girls are opening their eyes wide, putting blue contacts in and testing the english cheese setting on their phones

 

[⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛]

I have the cheese shutter turned on on my LG phone. It is supposed to work with the words cheese, smile, whiskey, kimchi, and LG. I take a lot of pictures for work and the other day it dawned on me to try the Japanese version of cheese. Chiizu. It fucking works. You really have to ham it up though and pretend you are a flat faced squinty eyed Japanese teenage girl though. Just saying chiizu won't work. It's got to be
Chiiiiiiiizuuuuuu!!!!! or it won't work. My phone has autism and I approve.

You ask your phone to listen to everything you say so that it can take pictures of you pretending to be a panface QT.

 

[Cup Noodle]

You ask your phone to listen to everything you say so that it can take pictures of you pretending to be a panface QT.

I turned off all of the spyware shit when I set up my phone just as I do with every device. That being said, you are naive if you think you can keep your devices from spying on you. Your phone is always listening no matter how much shit you turn off and if you are using a windows pc it reports back to a microsoft server every so often no matter how much shit you turn off. I know there is a hacked version of windows to get around that, but it is jankey. Use Linux if you can.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Your phone is always listening no matter how much shit you turn off

Jokes on them, I keep it in my back pocket and I'm lactose intolerant but thanks to social distancing I can drink as much milk as I want. I'm surprised that google haven't alerted the cops after the thousand hour stream of someone riding a motorcycle and firing a shotgun.