Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Mask_de_SMITH]

"I God I'm gonna *augh* I'm gonna... I'm gonna CONSOOOOOM!!!! AUGHAUHAHGUHAGHAHGH!!"

Original:

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57 seconds in and I already don't give a fuck about what he has to say.

I'm sure people have mentioned this before, but I hate those kinds of internet "reviewers" who think that talking fast means that you know what the fuck you're talking about. It just makes you look like a pretentious fuck bucket, because it allows these people to bury so much needless minutia into the video. Just get to the fucking point, Bob. You don't have a pair of tweezers, so stop jerking yourself off.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

57 seconds in and I already don't give a fuck about what he has to say.

I'm sure people have mentioned this before, but I hate those kinds of internet "reviewers" who think that talking fast means that you know what the fuck you're talking about. It just makes you look like a pretentious fuck bucket, because it allows these people to bury so much needless minutia into the video. Just get to the fucking point, Bob. You don't have a pair of tweezers, so stop jerking yourself off.

But Yahztee does it and he's popular.

 

[Flexo]

It always makes me happy when I see Bob get clapback right from the source and it do better than his asinine take

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1404980091072008193

https://archive.ph/NBVSO

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The only other responses, as of now, are two people replying to Jonah and they're what you expect them to be. There's a third one that doesn't show. I'm guessing it's from a stunning and brave protected account.
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The cushy life one must live to declare affirmatively that four years of OrangeManBad is the worst thing to happen to us since the build up to the Civil War.

Sarah Palin, things only stunted 40 year olds will remember.

Hah! And I used to be the big Jonah fan (have 3 of his books) before he went off the deep end re:Trump.

Still this has an immense satisfaction for me and further proves the claim that blue checks can limit their feeds to only see each other.

Ah I'm not disappointed!

 

[Walrus and Carpenter]

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This is risus sardonicus, a sign virtually pathognomonic of tetanus.

Chris is what, 36 or 37 years old? He looks objectively awful for his age even without considering his receded hairline.

 

[:gold:]

I almost feel sorry for Zoetrope Robetus. His parents should have let the shrink help him.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

The best thing to do with Terminator is make a film about the actual future war, make more games like Terminator: Resistance, or just not do anything at all.

They tried to do that with Salvation and it was not a success to say the least.

I’ll say this, after Dark Fate, Bob will forever be angry that he can no longer use his Terminator pitch.

 

[instythot]

"I God I'm gonna *augh* I'm gonna... I'm gonna CONSOOOOOM!!!! AUGHAUHAHGUHAGHAHGH!!"

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Jesus Christ, the source material for the eternals sounds even dumber and more confusing than the Wikipedia summary I read. And Bob is excited for what I can only describe as horseshit nonsense with 10 or maybe 12 lead characters?

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

What's the matter Bob, did your tendency to use Wikipedia as your brain run you into a dead end because NO ONE IN THE UNIVERSE CARES ABOUT ALF CANON?

And yes, I checked. Everything Bob says is indeed in the Wikipedia article for Alf - second paragraph of the plot section. It's perhaps worth a read simply because the writing is so shit that even if you somehow found yourself in a spot where you needed to summarize the plot, you'd take one look at this and then go looking for a fan webpage. I don't know what's worse, the structure (wanders into random asides too often) or the word choice ("miscalculates" where "misinterprets" or "misunderstands" is meant). But of course, a meandering mis-thesaurused mess of an essay would look perfectly normal to Bob.

 

[RockVolnutt]

"I God I'm gonna *augh* I'm gonna... I'm gonna CONSOOOOOM!!!! AUGHAUHAHGUHAGHAHGH!!"

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I dread watching this with friends later because I know all the info is going to be very off from him reading wikipedia and guessing. How bad Bob is at this will probably increase as time goes on as the MCU has to use increasingly obscure characters.

The best part? Feige has said in recent interviews that he looks forward to the use of lesser known characters because it's easier to do complete rewrites without much complaint like what happened with the Eternals or Shang-Chi. So even if Bob had good reading compression, those wiki articles are absolutely worthless since they wouldn't have the "name only" versions that have yet to come out.

 

[TowinKarz]

Imagine using ALF to sincerely defend your argument in 2021.

Who under 40 even remembers him?

Before he came back to us in POG form?

 

[Flexo]

Imagine using ALF to sincerely defend your argument in 2021.

Who under 40 even remembers him?

Before he came back to us in POG form?

Well now I know why I wasn't getting any replies to my letters.

Was really hoping he wanted to kill all humans...

 

[Mullti Port RDRAM]

Imagine using ALF to sincerely defend your argument in 2021.

Who under 40 even remembers him?

Before he came back to us in POG form?

the fuck is an alf?

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

the fuck is an alf?

A puppet who eats cats that only 40 year olds care about

 

[Flexo]

the fuck is an alf?

Alien Life Form.

 

[Giga_Nigga_28]

Sex and the Gotham City. Bobby thinks Batman is a bad role model because DC makes him follow the chivalric code and refrain from exploiting women.

No fucking clue:

NOOO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COOM TO A CHILDRENS CHARACTER IS HE DOESNT MUFF DIVE ON SCREEN????

Anyone spending more than a few seconds thinking about this needs to get there priorities in check. Obviously Dc doesn't want there most popular Ip, one aimed at children mind you, taking part in explicit activities. I hope these retards stay consistent when some degenerate wants Wonder Woman to give someone head onscreen.

 

[JayHarrison]

I apologize for digging this up from June 6th, but I only joined a couple days ago.

People don't come to Bobby for advice because they don't have the money or the spine:
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I dunno, Bob. Does America REALLY need your home town of Dumbfuck, Assholechusetts, (population: Moviebob) in order to prosper?

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Moviebob: "Oxygen doesn't adhere to state lines..."

Reality to Bob: "Greenhouse gases don't adhere to country borders, either, so congratulations, Green New Deal cultists! You played yourselves!"

 

[Tronathon242]

"I God I'm gonna *augh* I'm gonna... I'm gonna CONSOOOOOM!!!! AUGHAUHAHGUHAGHAHGH!!"

Original:

Archive (360p):
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Jesus Christ, the source material for the eternals sounds even dumber and more confusing than the Wikipedia summary I read. And Bob is excited for what I can only describe as horseshit nonsense with 10 or maybe 12 lead characters?

He's excited because he desperately wants to keep the MCU going. It's been the fuel for his limited relevance (and misplaced smugness) and perhaps the only time in his miserable life that his "nerdiness" has come in handy. All of us can see this is probably not going to be a liftoff to greater success so much as the beginning of the end, but he'll be the last one consooming even after the world has moved on.

 

[instythot]

He's excited because he desperately wants to keep the MCU going. It's been the fuel for his limited relevance (and misplaced smugness) and perhaps the only time in his miserable life that his "nerdiness" has come in handy. All of us can see this is probably not going to be a liftoff to greater success so much as the beginning of the end, but he'll be the last one consooming even after the world has moved on.

On a practical level, how does an audience pay attention to 10 or 12 major story arcs over the course of 90 to 150 minutes without getting annoyed? Or is this a movie made up entirely of supporting characters, which also sounds like a dumb arthouse or college film experiment

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

The MCU are a major offender in the epidemic of "good" movies.

By that I mean there are so many popcorn movies now that are "good". There's nothing especially wrong with them. The writing in them is fairly solid, but unremarkable.

Perfectly passable flicks. But that's all they are. Passable.

It's very boring.

 

[Tronathon242]

On a practical level, how does an audience pay attention to 10 or 12 major story arcs over the course of 90 to 150 minutes without getting annoyed? Or is this a movie made up entirely of supporting characters, which also sounds like a dumb arthouse or college film experiment

I've stated this before in the thread, but a war movie like Saving Private Ryan handled that just fine. The difference is that you got to know the characters through bits and pieces and a few of them died along the way to thin the cast out before they got to the bridge battle. I don't know how in sweet Mary's ass this piece of shit is going to manage that. Unlike the previously mentioned Spielberg classic and even the Phase 3 films (which were full of characters we already knew), this one can't afford to take too many breaks from the action or the jokes to deliver the time needed to allow the audience to understand that many new characters. It feels like Marvel is actually pulling a similar blunder to DC with this shit.

I apologize for digging this up from June 6th, but I only joined a couple days ago.

I dunno, Bob. Does America REALLY need your home town of Dumbfuck, Assholechusetts, (population: Moviebob) in order to prosper?


Moviebob: "Oxygen doesn't adhere to state lines..."

Reality to Bob: "Greenhouse gases don't adhere to country borders, either, so congratulations, Green New Deal cultists! You played yourselves!"

It doesn't matter what the state does or contributes. As long as Bob doesn't like it, it's not needed. Again, another not so subtle call for the disenfranchisement/genocide of his fellow Americans who don't follow his exact worldview.