Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Krathnami]

I was walking to my office this morning and that fat faggot walked right past me. Blue shirt, black shorts, sunglasses and some seriously slicked back hair. His titties were a-bouncing the way he was walking too. It was comical.

Did you hold your breath as he walked past?

 

[Trainwreck]

What color were those shoe laces, tho?

Hahaha! I guess I don't make a habit of identifying people based on the color of their shoelaces.

Did you hold your breath as he walked past?

He actually looked pretty clean, which was surprising. But even so, yes, I did.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

Hahaha! I guess I don't make a habit of identifying people based on the color of their shoelaces.

He actually looked pretty clean, which was surprising. But even so, yes, I did.

But he's been very CLEAR that to truly identify the genuine article, you will know him by his GREEN SHOELACES. Without confirming that information, can we REALLY be sure you saw THE Wern???

 

[Da Dude123]

The clothing you mentioned was what he was wearing in Skeletor's video. So that is our mooo cow. Not changing clothing as he does. It is starting to sound like him not having a phone is his own idea.

I wish we could get some videos about him bragging about the bounty hunters. Would love to have him mooo about that and his parents swimming pool. He is basically a millionaire!

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

But he's been very CLEAR that to truly identify the genuine article, you will know him by his GREEN SHOELACES. Without confirming that information, can we REALLY be sure you saw THE Wern???

I can say this is not a confirmed Wern-spotting without green laces, sunglasses, ponytail combo. You know Lucas has so many copycats that will steal his fashion to steal his Zoomer Baes. We must be thorough and rigorous in confirming a Wern-spotting event.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Maybe but it would have to be atrociously bad like being the star in a cartel torture/execution video. Short of that, fuck him.

He wants to shove his fist inside an underage girl. Fuck him.

"Fuck him." The world on Lucas Werner.

Fuck him. It'd make a nice epitaph. If he gets a gravestone. He won't.

Spoiler: not a penis

For me too sad to be able to really laugh at him for would be him losing his beetus leg then getting stuck with like a peg leg duct taped on or something because he's too broke to get a proper prosthetic one. Not because id feel bad for him specifically but more like the situation would just be too dark to laugh at.

Im hoping he just gets caught in a TCAP style sting later ideally

I used to believe that nothing is too dark to laugh at. I've amended my position to: nothing is too dark to amuse. A peg legged Lucas wouldn't make me chortle, guffaw, chuckle, titter, or howl, but there's a comic element there, too.

 

[Obscenity Enthusiast]

It looked like fatty's shoelaces were green-ish in the pic of him sitting on the curb. Apparently he's still wearing the same outfit?

The inbound heatwave is going to be an interesting time for Lucas, he has no interest in keeping an extensive wardrobe. Spending all day everyday in the same clothes in the blistering heat, wearing the same pair of socks and underwear (if he's even wearing any) smelling like hot roadkill, he's going to attract the vultures. Follow the vultures Spokane kiwis, that's where you'll find our escaped cow.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I was walking to my office this morning and that fat faggot walked right past me. Blue shirt, black shorts, sunglasses and some seriously slicked back hair. His titties were a-bouncing the way he was walking too. It was comical.

I'm just imagining being in your shoes out getting a coffee or whatever seeing Lucas and then walking back into the office laughing uncontrollably and somebody else asking what's so funny.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

So, I think this has been done, but as I know Lucas checks the Farms, I want to repost this info for him. We all know this already.

Your parents aren’t rich, Lucas. I’d like to provide you with some hard facts. Since you’ve identified your parents’ names and locations, about 5 minutes of Google searching shows pretty clearly that your parents are straight middle class.

Your mom and step dad live in a condo that’s in a very middle class neighborhood. They may have savings, but if they were rich, they’d at least own their own home and not live in a 700square foot condo that is currently worth $70,000 after being bought for about $20,000 more in 2017. And just to be clear, all past addresses for your mom and step-dad are rentals or are owned by other people. So they likely did what every single person besides you does which is save money while renting until able to buy their own place.

Your dad does have a house with lots of land. The price of land varies, but your dad’s home and his acreage is assessed and valued at between $600,000 and 800,000. That is still not a million, and there is a mortgage on the property based on Zillow, so depending on your dad and step-mom’s finances, the sell of the home and land could result in much less cash in hand after mortgage is paid off and debts paid. Plus, we all know that you’re the least likely to inherit if your parents passed away. They won’t pay to support you now when they are alive and could have a way to dictate how you spent the money (paying for food for you, paying for an apartment for you). They certainly won’t leave you money to use at your terrible discretion once they are gone.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, stop claiming you’re wealthy or that your parents are millionaires.

 

[WonderWino]

The inbound heatwave is going to be an interesting time for Lucas,

I can see lucas getting stupid and ending up like this:

....I can also see lucas standing on the side of the highway in a major heatwave waving at school busses and cars trying to attract zoomer bae attention while the sun roasts him like a turkey......with him being mentioned on the radio as someone to stay away from. But bills 'they talked about me on the radio! I matter! take that dad!' sounds like something that would come out of lucas's mouth

I just hope if lucas ever gets to that point he sticks to waving and ranting at cars and doesn't resort to screaming about his sperm and physically trying to emulate a sperm swimming around for passing cars. You know, like how he draws those little sperm on his posters

 

[Fatal Walter]

I wonder why his parents didn't employ any cops or bounty hunters when he got attacked with steel bats. And here I thought he was getting everything from both parents.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I can see lucas getting stupid and ending up like this:

....I can also see lucas standing on the side of the highway in a major heatwave waving at school busses and cars trying to attract zoomer bae attention while the sun roasts him like a turkey......with him being mentioned on the radio as someone to stay away from. But bills 'they talked about me on the radio! I matter! take that dad!' sounds like something that would come out of lucas's mouth

I just hope if lucas ever gets to that point he sticks to waving and ranting at cars and doesn't resort to screaming about his sperm and physically trying to emulate a sperm swimming around for passing cars. You know, like how he draws those little sperm on his posters

Lucas on the side of the road roasting in a heat wave doing the zoom zoom trance dance, I don't think he is the dancing type but he should try it. Like asking the gods for rain except instead asking the gods for puss puss to rain down.

Edit: I watch the original and he is saying zoomba a bunch of times too lol. Lucas signing up for Zumba classes for the zoomba baes and sweating his gross rotten lettuce.

Spoiler: Zoom Zoom

 

[Fatal Walter]

Oh yeah, I don't think I mentioned it but it turns out I was wrong about why Lucas started making board games. I thought he saw college kids playing them but actually it was because he was playing with people at the mental hospital. I guess he was doing alright socially and even winning. It was like the validation he never gets. Probably because he was on his medication at the time and easier to be around. But Lucas decided the missing thing wasn't the medication but the board games so the solution here was to get back off his meds and create a bunch of his own nonsensical board games. Yeah, the rest is history. He won't see that as the solution unless he wants to.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas on the side of the road roasting in a heat wave doing the zoom zoom trance dance, I don't think he is the dancing type but he should try it. Like asking the gods for rain except instead asking the gods for puss puss to rain down.

Edit: I watch the original and he is saying zoomba a bunch of times too lol. Lucas signing up for Zumba classes for the zoomba baes and sweating his gross rotten lettuce.

Spoiler: Zoom Zoom

Wow. It's not even being mad on the internet, watching that baby zoom 2 video, I find my hands all on their own curling into fists in my lap. There's something about Lucas's annoying voice and his stupid hat pulled over his eyes that bring out every instinct in me to beat a fat fag.

I used to think Lucas was deliberately trying to be obnoxious, and I think sometimes he is, but I actually don't think he realizes how one of the main takeaways that everyone has from watching his videos is how annoying he is, and how that hateful annoyance manifests in everyone having a desire to see ill befall him as soon as possible, and as painfully as possible. There's something about his smugness, combined with his stupidity, combined with his stupid face, that just makes you want to see him get run over by a bus.

Repeatedly. In slow motion. In high definition. Shit, forget popcorn, I'd buy raisinettes, nachos, a hot dog, bring the kids, and watch that shit in IMAX.

 

[Wernology]

So, the guys who took the short drive by vid of Lucas and took down a few of his signs did a long ass livestream about him earlier today and have a good amount of stories about him from his batshit recent behavior.

 

[Fatal Walter]

Apparently it's projected to hit 110 degrees in Spokane on Monday. Hope Lucas can find a bridge to hide under.

Edit: Wait a second. This cops and bounty hunter angle is recycled too. Isn't everything. This post is from about 2 years ago, directly after he came to this site to post gay porn and then offered a 500$ bounty to take the site down.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

This is a great mashup, Silence of the Wern.

Wow. It's not even being mad on the internet, watching that baby zoom 2 video, I find my hands all on their own curling into fists in my lap. There's something about Lucas's annoying voice and his stupid hat pulled over his eyes that bring out every instinct in me to beat a fat fag.

I totally feel that watching this when he starts barking like a dog/gorilla and making those disgusting facial expressions

Edit: saying you have a mega micro penis is like saying you are the tallest midget

Looking at this video from last summer he is looking very sun damaged

Spoiler: sun damaged Wern

Spoiler: mega cringe song

 

[Krathnami]

So, the guys who took the short drive by vid of Lucas and took down a few of his signs did a long ass livestream about him earlier today and have a good amount of stories about him from his batshit recent behavior.

The interesting thing about that video is that guy who filmed Lucas sitting on the concrete said he was there at 6:30 in the morning, which makes me question whether he’s also sleeping out there

 

[WonderWino]

Apparently it's projected to hit 110 degrees in Spokane on Monday. Hope Lucas can find a bridge to hide under.

Edit: Wait a second. This cops and bounty hunter angle is recycled too. Isn't everything. This post is from about 2 years ago, directly after he came to this site to post gay porn and then offered a 500$ bounty to take the site down.
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'My parents used to work with bounty hunters and law enforcement!'

.....Because travel agencies are famous for their use of bounty hunters and cops right lucas?

 

[mothman96]

The interesting thing about that video is that guy who filmed Lucas sitting on the concrete said he was there at 6:30 in the morning, which makes me question whether he’s also sleeping out there

I don't think he's sleeping outdoors but leaves the shelter early to check on the places he has put up signs and/or to scout for new places where he thinks his signs will attract the Gen Z baes.