The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
There is a way out, don't most of the people or groups there have their own vehicles? They can hop in and drive off. Thing is, once that starts happening Penny's going to be looking suspiciously at others, questioning their loyalty. There's guaranteed to be some nasty interpersonal drama at the tranch, it's just a matter of how it happens.

No one there is well psychologically and this "communist" group has a blatantly unfair structure where the nobility play video games inside the house all day and don't have to work and the peasants have to bring their own shelter and shower in a rickety plywood stall. The donation grifting could become an especially sore point because I doubt that money is being equally distributed.

If someone decides to ditch the place and there's bad blood I can see it starting a chain reaction that breaks down the relationships that hold their system together. Trannies aren't known for their restraint when it comes to shit-talking people they think have wronged them, so as soon as some person or group breaks away from the tranch I'd expect to see lots of mud get thrown on social media. Penny is just a wannabe feudal lord after all. If these guys are such Marxists it's time for the workers to seize the means of production.
Of course, Kevin is contributing to the Tranch by paying an amount of rent each month to the tranch to help with upkeep and things (whether that amount is enough to compensate everyone else for the general unpleasantness of being around Kevin is a different question). But if the tranchers were capable of understanding that the provision of capital to a business is just as valuable as the provision of labor, they wouldn't be Communists. Revolution when?
 
I just want sped-up footage of transgender tactical maneuvers, maybe with "Yakety Sax" played over them.
I want them to take up tennis.


I was going to Photoshop that into a shot of Bonnie and Penny, but there's nothing high quality enough to work with. Good job using videotapes, the BBC!
 
Just wondering, if I had a ranch and wasn't a consoomer AND was under a serious threat, wouldn't it make sense to just spend the bare minimun on guns and buy some NVG's in case of night attacks? That'd be a good idea for them for a GoFundMe.
What would make the most sense would be to have one gun with which to defend yourself and not waste four digits on expensive LARP gear. The best thing you can do for home defense, and this is something that the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch routinely (and personally I think deliberately) fails at, is building a solid rapport with your neighbors and larger community. I know in American popculture "loathe thy neighbor" is popular but honestly getting a support network of people together who will help you out and watch out for you in return for you doing the same for them is the first line of defense against predators and hooligans within a community. This is especially true in an rural community in which public services may be far away.

Obviously this won't happen since the Tenacious Unicorns are belligerent and generally unpleasant to everyone around them.
 
Just wondering, if I had a ranch and wasn't a consoomer AND was under a serious threat, wouldn't it make sense to just spend the bare minimun on guns and buy some NVG's in case of night attacks? That'd be a good idea for them for a GoFundMe.
Without suppressors, which to my knowledge we haven't seen on any of the tranch guns, I don't think NVGs would be as useful as setting up floodlights and early warning devices. For the cost of a PVS-14 (~$2000-3000) you could get a bunch of motion activated floodlights and flares and still have enough to get a small dual fuel generator for a power backup.
 
If you were a rancher and you were under serious threat at some unknown point in the future, the best, most cost effective action would be to leave. That whole position is a deathtrap, most homes in general are.

Assuming Earls got equal numbers to the tranchers, then any half decent attack could hit from 2-3 directions. There's no good cover in the area at all, maybe the building basement if its got a sunken foundation. The rest is concealment at best and won't stop much, shitpiles excluded maybe. If they're getting hit from multiple directions, that concealment is pretty much moot, as its scattered, isolated structures. I doubt any one position they could take would be concealed from multiple likely angles while also being useful to return fire, so their only real option is hit the dirt or stay in the house. If they stay inside, that building is gonna be on fire in short order, concentrated gunfire will start hitting electric lines, gas, storage batteries, etc. If they stayed in the house or basement, now they're fucked.

If they had more than 2-3 of them outside, and they weren't shitting themselves in fear at this point, they could try fire and maneuver drills, if they figured out where the shots were coming from. Disregarding that they'd still be taking fire from multiple directions for a moment, they're still fucked. It takes an incredible amount of training and confidence to do bounding actions into oncoming fire. You need to absolutely fucking trust the guys behind you to keep heads down, and you need to trust that the spot your going is at least as safe as where you were. Troons are delusional, so I can see them trusting each other to that level, but even experienced soldiers should be sweating bullets at the idea of trying to bound along open, desolate shrubland, with no real dips or peaks to take advantage of. The place is really fucking flat, and that'd be the end of them. Seriously, entire generations of infantry fighting vehicles have been dedicated to the problem of keep infantry alive over large, desolate tracts of land.

The militia don't need to be brave, iron soldiers to make this happen either. The attackers advantage is gonna be getting to a position you feel good with, and then firing from it until they're dead. Normally that's the defenders advantage, but we all know they're not actually running proper defenses, one twitchy troon in a window is not good area defense. Done right, they don't need to run around much. A handful of spiteful ranchers could easily be coordinated enough to set up that crossfire.

In a realistic scenario, the militia set up the crossfire, open up as night sets in and the troons are going to bed, catch a couple out in the camper slums. The rest either give up on the spot, or the house troons go full retard, gear up, and start looking out windows or running out doors, and get lit up too. Militia fades into the night, and the ranch survivors scatter to the wind for their seven figure book deals. Everyone wins.
 
So which is it, it's a safe haven for troons, or it's constantly under siege by Earl and his redneck minions trying to rape and murder every single one of them? Did these moronic fake news "journalists" even read the apocalyptic social media of these lunatics?
Now it's "most people are friendly", before it was just this one pastor who runs the coffeeshop who was welcoming. They can't even manage to lie consistently.
 
If you were a rancher and you were under serious threat at some unknown point in the future, the best, most cost effective action would be to leave. That whole position is a deathtrap, most homes in general are.

Assuming Earls got equal numbers to the tranchers, then any half decent attack could hit from 2-3 directions. There's no good cover in the area at all, maybe the building basement if its got a sunken foundation. The rest is concealment at best and won't stop much, shitpiles excluded maybe. If they're getting hit from multiple directions, that concealment is pretty much moot, as its scattered, isolated structures. I doubt any one position they could take would be concealed from multiple likely angles while also being useful to return fire, so their only real option is hit the dirt or stay in the house. If they stay inside, that building is gonna be on fire in short order, concentrated gunfire will start hitting electric lines, gas, storage batteries, etc. If they stayed in the house or basement, now they're fucked.

If they had more than 2-3 of them outside, and they weren't shitting themselves in fear at this point, they could try fire and maneuver drills, if they figured out where the shots were coming from. Disregarding that they'd still be taking fire from multiple directions for a moment, they're still fucked. It takes an incredible amount of training and confidence to do bounding actions into oncoming fire. You need to absolutely fucking trust the guys behind you to keep heads down, and you need to trust that the spot your going is at least as safe as where you were. Troons are delusional, so I can see them trusting each other to that level, but even experienced soldiers should be sweating bullets at the idea of trying to bound along open, desolate shrubland, with no real dips or peaks to take advantage of. The place is really fucking flat, and that'd be the end of them. Seriously, entire generations of infantry fighting vehicles have been dedicated to the problem of keep infantry alive over large, desolate tracts of land.

The militia don't need to be brave, iron soldiers to make this happen either. The attackers advantage is gonna be getting to a position you feel good with, and then firing from it until they're dead. Normally that's the defenders advantage, but we all know they're not actually running proper defenses, one twitchy troon in a window is not good area defense. Done right, they don't need to run around much. A handful of spiteful ranchers could easily be coordinated enough to set up that crossfire.

In a realistic scenario, the militia set up the crossfire, open up as night sets in and the troons are going to bed, catch a couple out in the camper slums. The rest either give up on the spot, or the house troons go full retard, gear up, and start looking out windows or running out doors, and get lit up too. Militia fades into the night, and the ranch survivors scatter to the wind for their seven figure book deals. Everyone wins.

Fuck it, I'll put on my Patton Sperg Helmet.

If I was in command of OpFor Earl's Militia, the best plan would put out two of the best marksmen, probably on like an ATV trailer or something for just a little extra elevation a few hundred yards out and just have them pop two trannies at the same time. The trannies have no intercept or jamming equipment, so you could just have open comms to coordinate. The presence of an ATV should be pretty common in that area and shouldn't raise any alarms.
I'd put four black ford raptor trucks in two roadblocks of two trucks each, one on each side of the Tranch and one truck pointed each direction so at least one truck doesn't need to turn around if the fleeing tranchers decide to go offroad. The rest of Operation Shitlord's forces would be spread around the tranch.

Assuming they don't just straight meltdown at the first casualties, they would run to seek cover, so Earl'd just need to focus more on trying to burn down the Tranch Davidian's buildings than trying to shoot running targets. ITs dry, the buildings are all wood (or RVs) and they clearly don't have proper fire fighting equipment. No need to even waste ammo shooting into the buildings, just wait for the fire to flush them out and unload while they are blinded by smoke.

IF they go for vehicles (Pause for everyone to picture them trying to high speed manuever under fire in shitty road conditions in their leaf) the road blocks will intercept them no problem.
As you said, that place is a death trap if you do not have the superior force.

tl;dr the drills are all larping. if they cared they'd be doing MOUT style training to defend their interiors and working on replacing the wood buildings with concrete, and not trying to learn how to rush Earl's bunker complex.
 
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Amazing.
The Tranch getting a vicuña would be like if I ran a dog breeding operation, took them to get groomed, and the groomer was like “brah why the fuck do you have coyote?”
found.jpg
 
While all the tactics-sperging is interesting, if we're the only honest source of information on the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch (A Haven for Queer, Trans Folk in Rural Colorado™️) that most people are going to find then planning assaults (even in a clearly theoretical way) isn't the best way to get people to read this thread with open minds, it'll just reenforce the idea that the critics of the tranch are all right-wing militias.
 
While all the tactics-sperging is interesting, if we're the only honest source of information on the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch (A Haven for Queer, Trans Folk in Rural Colorado™️) that most people are going to find then planning assaults (even in a clearly theoretical way) isn't the best way to get people to read this thread with open minds, it'll just reenforce the idea that the critics of the tranch are all right-wing militias.

Fair point; But at least for me the tactics spergy is less about Columbine fan fiction and more about the utter stupidity of their tacticool LARPing by showing precisely how boned they would be if Earl did start busting caps, and if they are concerned about that they doing the wrong sorts of drills (because those drills would be less fun).

I mean, my prefered way to kill trannies is to just sit back and have a beer while 41% of the time they do the job for me.
 
While all the tactics-sperging is interesting, if we're the only honest source of information on the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch (A Haven for Queer, Trans Folk in Rural Colorado™️) that most people are going to find then planning assaults (even in a clearly theoretical way) isn't the best way to get people to read this thread with open minds, it'll just reenforce the idea that the critics of the tranch are all right-wing militias.
I agree with you, however, given what a large part of their identity is dedicated to themselves tactics sperging we must bring attention to how dumb their tactics sperging actually is, no one in this thread would threaten violence against the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch or its owners, animals, employees, or tenants, but given that they are constatnly posting pictures of weapons, making threats, and generally making attempts to aggravate not only the people of their local community but also people at large towards violence a bit of critique is deserved of their readiness and the unsustainibility of their situation. This can take many forms, from simple statements of "What would work better is [X]", to "Here is a simple plan that your theoretical enemies would be capable of which serves a threat to you", all the way to simpler things such as "You're all fucking idiots and you look stupid too".

If anyone is reading this thread after coming across it searching for the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, first of all congratulations for making it this far, second of all please do not take what we are saying as threats, they catagoricly are not.
 
So which is it, it's a safe haven for troons, or it's constantly under siege by Earl and his redneck minions trying to rape and murder every single one of them? Did these moronic fake news "journalists" even read the apocalyptic social media of these lunatics?

Imagine being under genuine threat from an actual militia, and still advertising your place as a “safe haven”.

The media surely must realise what absolute bullshit this is, right? Right..??
 
If it goes Mad Max, or zombie apocalypse, all the locals will know there are these asshole troons they already hate, they have lots of expensive guns, and they're too dumb to be able to keep them. They could either just go take them, or choose the option of just luring a horde of zombies there, and let the zombies knock down their pathetic fence, swarm the compound, and then pick up the guns later.
The tranch is completely dependent on the outside world.
Most will abandon it in the 1st week when the internet stops working.
The rest can be picked off on the road when they have to make fuel runs. They need a constant supply of gasoline to keep the water flowing and the freezer full of prepared food cold.

The attack scenarios are fun but we all know its all just fantasy. There is no Earl gang plotting an attack. It's a small ranch town full of boomers who just want to stay the fuck away from these hostile freaks.
 
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