Inactive Byuu / byuu_nyan / setsunakun0 / Near / David Ginder - "Non-binary" furry programmer who wrote a Super Nintendo emulator, tried to blackmail Null into removing his thread, and is probably actually dead lol

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/V/ is already talking about this dude, if he didn't want any negative attention regarding this mess he surely got the opposite.


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Basic AGGIN said:
From my experience, suicide baits are almost always fake, but they're mainly made by people that did not have depression in the past. And keep in mind this guy offered to work and pay $120,000 to Null. That's a bit much for just wanting to remove a dead thread on a random site that's dedicated for autists for make fun of other autists, is it not?

This guy seems so mentally unstable (and/or sensitive) that I don't put it beyond him that he would kill himself just because of a KiwiFarms thread.
Click to expand...
Anxiety disorders are tricky things, and it sounds like he had one. I can fully believe that every time anyone would message him stuff from his past, or mentioning the farms etc, that he might be triggered into a panic attack (or near enough) even if it's some of the most benign mentions possible. That kind of thing can fuck a person's thinking up, especially if your thinking becomes warped and you end up fixated on trying to minimize the triggers rather than actually treating the underlying condition itself. You just end up living in fear and seeing boogeymen behind every corner.

Assuming all this is real I'm guessing he would have eventually killed himself even if Null followed through. He cornered himself into thinking that getting rid of the thread would solve his problems, as illogical as it all is. One giant panacea that would solve all his problems. Bit like the autist to troon pipeline tbh. Massive identity issues, various mental issues? Guess what? You're a tranny and all you need to do is take some pills and you'll come out the other side a wonderful butterfly and finally your true self and we're this giant community and we love you uwu. Just a fixation on one singular thing that you can convince yourself will fix everything.
 
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He contacted me in 2020 as well.


From: byuu <byuu@byuu.org>
To: Null <null@kiwifarms.net>
Date: Sept-28-2020 8:40 PM

Hi Null, I'm sorry to bother you, but I hope to humbly beg you for a favor.

Long story short, I got a thread made on me for acting like an idiot in 2017.
I fully own that I deserved it. I tried too hard to be liked by my peers and
lost sight of myself. I acknowledged my mistakes, and cleaned up my act.
I've tried very hard to improve myself, and I I haven't done anything off
since the thread went up 2018.

I've never once complained about or criticized you or your site,
and I'm aware that this is in no way your responsibility or concern,
but regrettably, someone in late January went A-log to try and coerce
a reaction out of me by combing through my friends list and doxing as
many people as they could, and then threatened them with leaking it if
they didn't give up my personal details.

I lost one of my best friends of 10 years over this, it terrified another,
and the anxiety and stress over this has really made my life a living hell.
I'm sure you can relate that when people go after our friends and family
things really cross a line and it really starts to hurt. I don't at all blame you
or your site for that, I fully blame only myself for my past eccentric behavior.

But not knowing what else to do, I signed up on your forum after that and
acknowledged my mistakes there as well, pleading for whoever it was to
stick to targeting me and not people unrelated to me. But predictably, it
just showed they were getting a reaction and the dox list was posted on 4chan
in March. I've been dealing with almost daily panic attacks ever since and I simply
don't know how to handle it anymore.

While asking for advice on Discord, I learned that the person who made the thread
on me was someone I knew from that very server. Jacob reached out and offered to
lock or take down his thread, which I assumed he handled through you but apparently
not. It really felt like a once-in-a-lifetime second chance. I was unaware he went
about it in a stupid way and didn't tell anyone until after it went back up. That
likely screwed any slim chance I had at asking you this, but all the same...

My thing is that I write free game system emulators: Sega, SNK, N64, PlayStation, etc.
It's the only thing I'm good at and the only thing that brings me any joy. I put my life into this.
I'm not going to return to the internet or social media either way, but I would
like to silently work on the emulator and just post new builds and that's all.
But I'm worried that if I do, whoever this is will keep escalating this as long as
they have an audience on your forum. I'm also worried that more people might join in.

My request is to ask you for mercy. I've been thoroughly shamed and broken already.
Everyone who's anyone has already seen the thread and that can never be undone now.
The thread's been archived six ways to Sunday already and will always be available online anyway.

I never once said anything or complained about the thread for the first two years it was up.
But I'm certain that whoever is behind the doxing is doing so to provoke reactions from me
there. I sincerely believe this is my only shot of possibly stopping this, or I wouldn't ask.
But yes, it had its desired effect, and yes, it really hurt a lot.

If you would please, please consider just hiding my thread, or even one day in
the future, it would mean the world to me and I will be forever in your debt, though
admittedly I don't have much to offer other than being a programmer.

I'm really not a bad guy, I just got momentarily caught up in acting dumb. I have
to live with that no matter what. I just want whoever it is to please stop going
after other people because of me. I can't handle the guilt of that.

Still, I realize how unlikely it is, but I'll respect your decision either way.
You have my word you won't hear from or of me again even if it's a no.

Thank you for your time.

(aside: if you want evidence first, I can send you 4chan archive links or whatnot.)


From: Null <null@kiwifarms.net>
To: byuu <byuu@byuu.org>
Date: Sept-28-2020 10:19 PM

I really do not appreciate that you had a mod suicide his account by
deleting your thread.

((For context: This thread was deleted by the OP, who was a Furry board supervisor at the time, immediately before he disappeared.))

1624798808067.png

1624798781327.png



From: byuu <byuu@byuu.org>
To: Null <null@kiwifarms.net>
Date: Sept-28-2020 10:33 PM

I'm really, deeply sorry about that, he turned out to be someone I knew from a Discord server I was in. I was asking if anyone had experience with anxiety and after explaining why, he reached out to me, told me who he was, and offered to take it down after running it by some folks. I assumed he meant you or someone senior there. I didn't know he would do so in such a stupid way, and I only found out after the fact. I would have *never* asked him to do something that would screw me over ten times as much and just make everything worse. I'm very sorry you lost a mod over it, that was never my attention at all.


From: byuu <byuu@byuu.org>
To: Null <null@kiwifarms.net>
Date: Sept-28-2020 10:51 PM

In any case, I accept the responsibility that talking about this on Discord is likely what led to him feeling sympathy. I've just been having a really rough time over this whole situation. I regret not reaching out to you myself back then instead of leaving it to him on account of it being his thread.

It sounds like that ruined any chance I had, so I guess I'm well and truly out of luck ._.
As promised, I'll leave you alone then. Thanks all the same, and once again my sincerest apologies about that.
 
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Null said:
Hi Null, I'm sorry to bother you, but I hope to humbly beg you for a favor.

Long story short, I got a thread made on me for acting like an idiot in 2017.
I fully own that I deserved it. I tried too hard to be liked by my peers and
lost sight of myself. I acknowledged my mistakes, and cleaned up my act.
I've tried very hard to improve myself, and I I haven't done anything off
since the thread went up 2018.

I've never once complained about or criticized you or your site,
and I'm aware that this is in no way your responsibility or concern,
but regrettably, someone in late January went A-log to try and coerce
a reaction out of me by combing through my friends list and doxing as
many people as they could, and then threatened them with leaking it if
they didn't give up my personal details.

I lost one of my best friends of 10 years over this, it terrified another,
and the anxiety and stress over this has really made my life a living hell.
I'm sure you can relate that when people go after our friends and family
things really cross a line and it really starts to hurt. I don't at all blame you
or your site for that, I fully blame only myself for my past eccentric behavior.

But not knowing what else to do, I signed up on your forum after that and
acknowledged my mistakes there as well, pleading for whoever it was to
stick to targeting me and not people unrelated to me. But predictably, it
just showed they were getting a reaction and the dox list was posted on 4chan
in March. I've been dealing with almost daily panic attacks ever since and I simply
don't know how to handle it anymore.

While asking for advice on Discord, I learned that the person who made the thread
on me was someone I knew from that very server. Jacob reached out and offered to
lock or take down his thread, which I assumed he handled through you but apparently
not. It really felt like a once-in-a-lifetime second chance. I was unaware he went
about it in a stupid way and didn't tell anyone until after it went back up. That
likely screwed any slim chance I had at asking you this, but all the same...

My thing is that I write free game system emulators: Sega, SNK, N64, PlayStation, etc.
It's the only thing I'm good at and the only thing that brings me any joy. I put my life into this.
I'm not going to return to the internet or social media either way, but I would
like to silently work on the emulator and just post new builds and that's all.
But I'm worried that if I do, whoever this is will keep escalating this as long as
they have an audience on your forum. I'm also worried that more people might join in.

My request is to ask you for mercy. I've been thoroughly shamed and broken already.
Everyone who's anyone has already seen the thread and that can never be undone now.
The thread's been archived six ways to Sunday already and will always be available online anyway.

I never once said anything or complained about the thread for the first two years it was up.
But I'm certain that whoever is behind the doxing is doing so to provoke reactions from me
there. I sincerely believe this is my only shot of possibly stopping this, or I wouldn't ask.
But yes, it had its desired effect, and yes, it really hurt a lot.

If you would please, please consider just hiding my thread, or even one day in
the future, it would mean the world to me and I will be forever in your debt, though
admittedly I don't have much to offer other than being a programmer.

I'm really not a bad guy, I just got momentarily caught up in acting dumb. I have
to live with that no matter what. I just want whoever it is to please stop going
after other people because of me. I can't handle the guilt of that.

Still, I realize how unlikely it is, but I'll respect your decision either way.
You have my word you won't hear from or of me again even if it's a no.

Thank you for your time.ls -l

(aside: if you want evidence first, I can send you 4chan archive links or whatnot.)
Click to expand...
Absolutely disgusting line length discipline from a programmer. Truly deranged.
 
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This thread hasn't been active, let alone has no real highlights and no real cow like behavior outside of "Is autistic, is a furry, is a tranny" and is suddenly so afraid of this. He could've politely asked for it to be taken down. He could've commented on the inactivity and how it makes him uncomfortable. For someone who has a business, runs it, and develops, he sure is unprofessional. This feels less like a threat and more of a way to somehow get back to being relevant or to stir a hornet's nest.
 
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shameful existence said:
I've tried therapy... but nothing works. Second sentence of the email.


It's not magic. This ultimate faith in "getting help" is just avoiding the problem and morality of dealing with broken, unfixable people.
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Yeah and 'therapy' does nothing if you're not A: taking responsibility for what YOU can change, and B: taking your meds and restructuring your life so that you can actually succeed.

A lot of these people find a therapist and talk to them a few times but don't actually do the work. They then use it to claim 'I tried therapy'. It means very little. I highly doubt this guy had a real therapist or they would have told him to stay offline.
 
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Fareal said:
you are sick, you have to take your meds. Not taking your meds is not going to make you better; you are going to deteriorate. And you cannot take some random Internet junk hormones on top of those.
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I agree with what you said, however byuu stated that the only med that actually worked gave him tinnitus. Tinnitus can be a real hell for anyone that has it. I have it and every day I'm grateful it's of the TV snow variety and not the awful ringing most people have. I can sympathize with him falling into the troon cult of hormones out of desperation just to find something that worked, BUT it wasn't the right call. Society relies too much on medication and not enough on other things (exercise, eating right, spirituality, getting off the fucking internet, etc.) to mitigate depression symptoms.
 
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