Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[CiaphasCain]

I spent my first year of High School in an incredibly violent area before getting the fuck out.

• There was a kid who started bragging about being a drug dealer and a gangster but nobody really believed him, then it turned out he was telling the truth because he was brutally killed by rival gang members a month later. The school then started talking about how much of a saint he was despite the fact that he was a complete cunt failing every class.
• There were two police officers stationed at the school at all times. They were mostly there to do drug sweeps and sometimes brought surprise sniffer dogs while you were in class.
• Teachers had utterly given up on keeping the peace so relying on them for any kind of help was completely pointless.
• Fights were very common and we would all watch. Worst fight I ever saw was when this kid got knocked out and then repeatedly bashed against a metal fence until his face was unrecognizable, I still don't know why the teachers showed up so late.
• I got sexually assaulted by a crackhead final year student when she stuck her hands down my pants and grabbed my dick, I was like 11-12 and it scared the shit out of me.
• I was on the school bus home when a final year student sat next to me and slowly drove the end of a knife into my right thigh, I was once again like 11-12 so I way too scared to defend myself. Thankfully he only poked a small hole in my leg before getting off the bus, never saw him again.

Fun times all round

 

[NerdShamer]

I got sexually assaulted by a crackhead final year student when she stuck her hands down my pants and grabbed my dick

Compared to everything else, this is one of the better things that could happen to you.

At least you made it out alive, right?

 

[CiaphasCain]

At least you made it out alive, right?

Yes. But at what cost.

 

[NerdShamer]

Yes. But at what cost.

The price of experiencing that some schools are essentially worse than Skid Row.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

Yes. But at what cost.

You're now a poster on Kiwi Farms.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Watched a stoner eat a handful of rubber bands once

 

[The Great Citracett]

There was a kid who was well known for snorting things. Usually it was just stupid shit like crushed candy or pixy stix.

One day he snorted one of those listerine pocket strips and was fine for a few seconds until it started to dissolve and we thought he was going to die the way he was screaming and freaking out.

He also claimed to have snorted a few viagra pills at once and supposedly his dick wouldn't go down for 3 days and he "pissed jizz the whole time."

I always thought he'd get into drugs and die early. His last name even rhymes with "snortin'" but he looks to have straightened out after school and become a pretty typical family man.

 

[Spooky Bones]

There was a kid who was well known for snorting things. Usually it was just stupid shit like crushed candy or pixy stix.

LOL. Right after DARE had taught us about cocaine, a bunch of us started cutting lines of Pixie Stix and going to town. The DARE cop had to make a special statement about it and everything. DARE didn't do shit in fact it just made drugs seem glamorous. At least one study was done that said that kids who went through it were slightly more likely to use drugs than kids who did. A bunch of us turned out to be big druggies, that's for sure.

 

[lurk_moar]

This just happened in one of my online class.

The professor is like this weekend is the fourth of July. You be needing to focus on your discussions and study for the exam. Um, homework for this week's module is due on Tuesday after the fourth. She bloody still releases the answer key for the homework when it is not officially due yet...oops.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Um, homework for this week's module is due on Tuesday after the fourth. She bloody still releases the answer key for the homework when it is not officially due yet...oops.

This was previously shared in one of my earlier posts: I had a high school social studies teacher who gave us a list of the 50 questions that would be on our final exam as the semester slowly neared its end. The next day, she asked if anyone had any questions. Someone flippantly asked, "Yeah, what are the answers to the final exam questions?"

She spent the rest of the class period going through the questions one by one and giving us the answers. Those that were absent that day eventually managed to get a copy of someone else's sheet of answers.

I'd be surprised if anyone failed the final exam.

 

[seri0us]

LOL. Right after DARE had taught us about cocaine, a bunch of us started cutting lines of Pixie Stix and going to town. The DARE cop had to make a special statement about it and everything. DARE didn't do shit in fact it just made drugs seem glamorous. At least one study was done that said that kids who went through it were slightly more likely to use drugs than kids who did. A bunch of us turned out to be big druggies, that's for sure.

Nowadays schools seem to bring in former druggies to tell their stories instead of simply begging kids to not do drugs

 

[Coelacanth]

Since you all liked the story of Mr. Abott Goes Viral I think I'll give you another tale. Even better is this one involves a tard wrangler who also happened to be a deathfat!

I've talked about the teachers - now I'll elaborate on the staff members who were second in command: the tard wranglers. Over here in Bongland we call these things Teacher's Assistants, but every kid referred to them as tard wranglers when they weren't in hearing distance. There were a handful of this group that were actually decent people - they'd ask you how your day was going and treat you like you were a person who could think for yourself.

The exception to the rule was who I'm going to refer to as Doradus the Hamwrangler, or DtH for short. DtH was, as her nickname suggests, a morbidly obese woman verging on 350 pounds. She was hard to miss - filling up most of the corridors and would absolutely demand you get out of her way. The thought of having control over a lot of people "weaker"than her had clearly gone to her head and the hatred that both tards and normal kids had for this woman was more than mutual - because she exercised her power at every opportunity she got. If you did anything without her permission while she was in class then she'd be more than happy to remind you of your place - especially if it was a lesson before breaks or the last lesson of the day. She'd made sure to eat up as much of your time as possible, then waddle off to get a snack or her lunch. She'd even scold you for being late if she was in your next class, too, that's how unlikeable she was.

According to DtH, bowel cancer ran in her family and that was why she was obese, but would quickly change the subject or tell you to get on with your work if you asked her if she herself had it. Being reluctant to share details about such a thing is understandable, but it was a little suspicious that she'd avoid answering such a question when, nine times out of ten, she could be seen with a snack bar or the remains of a packet of crisps in her spherical fists. I am fairly certain if she's still alive today out there then she's most likely cresting 600 pounds and bed-bound. Much like Mr. Abbot and phones, making fun of the weight she "couldn't help" having was a berserk button and she would quite literally insist she was healthy despite her size while frothing at the mouth if she caught you.

Unfortunately, reality was about to make an example out of her.

One of the rare good things that used to happen at my school were the end of school year trips. It was mostly the nicer teachers who pulled together to make these things happen and these teachers were respected by most of us kids for similar reasons to the tard wranglers. They'd take the money they could and take us out to amusement parks and activity centers. This particular trip was the latter - located in a forest with slightly steep terrain - it had courses for all types of fitness. We were pumped. But guess who happened to climb up onto the coach on the day we were meant to go? None other than DtH. Every step made us jump in our seats, and while we dreaded having to spend an entire day with her we knew she was going to struggle.

Once we arrived we literally waited five minutes for her to climb the slope up to the entrance of the activity center before going in, getting to know what was going on, and choosing what we wanted to do. What did DtH want to do, you ask? The agility obstacle course. Nobody stopped her - I think in retrospect we couldn't have stopped her if we tried - so as we made our way around the center we had no idea how this was going to go. The course itself wasn't special - it was just one of those "go through things as fast as possible" races - but what is important for this story is the section with tires in it. Most of the kids would cross this section with no problem - but then it was DtH's turn. She was too big to tackle a lot of the course but was adamant that putting her legs through the tires was going to be easy. It took her a few seconds to drag her feet from hole to hole - and that was when she lost her balance.

The reason this story is so clear in my memory to this day is the sickening crunch that followed her toppling over like a felled tree trunk. It's a sound you never forget - and the agonized howls that followed were equally as haunting. DtH's right leg bone had snapped thanks to the extra weight she'd got and she was rushed to hospital as soon as possible. To say the mood was slightly somber on the way back was an understatement. DtH did stick around for a little while until she decided to sue the school for letting her have that leg-breaking "accident", I haven't seen her since.

 

[NerdShamer]

DtH did stick around for a little while until she decided to sue the school for letting her have that leg-breaking "accident

Did she lose the lolsuit?

 

[Coelacanth]

Did she lose the lolsuit?

Yes. that's when she practically vanished.

 

[MysticMisty]

LOL. Right after DARE had taught us about cocaine, a bunch of us started cutting lines of Pixie Stix and going to town. The DARE cop had to make a special statement about it and everything. DARE didn't do shit in fact it just made drugs seem glamorous. At least one study was done that said that kids who went through it were slightly more likely to use drugs than kids who did. A bunch of us turned out to be big druggies, that's for sure.

Ah, yes, DARE. I remember how a lot of the "activities" were ridiculous, like when we were shown a drawing of a pretend beer ad and had to name everything "uncool" about it, or when the cop had us do the "drug free" chicken dance he definitely made up at home last night. For the curious, it was just the normal chicken dance minus the music, and we had to instead say "Flap flap flap. Clap clap clap. I'm drug free, let me be." Yes, really.

The most memorable thing though was one DARE session where we had to watch an anti-drug cartoon. First it started with the "illegal for minors" tobacco and alcohol shit before moving on to actually illegal drugs. A lot of them weren't really well explained (beyond being illegal), but weed did get a minor explanation. I remember it mentioned that people who are stoned laugh at random things that aren't funny. As someone who laughs easily (and loves it, though I have gotten in trouble for it) that got me giggling and the teacher glared at me until I stopped. After the video when the cop asked if we had any questions I asked why is weed bad, because I love laughing, and if it makes people laugh then why is that bad. He got real mad and I got detention for "not taking drugs seriously".

 

[AnOminous]

LOL. Right after DARE had taught us about cocaine, a bunch of us started cutting lines of Pixie Stix and going to town. The DARE cop had to make a special statement about it and everything. DARE didn't do shit in fact it just made drugs seem glamorous. At least one study was done that said that kids who went through it were slightly more likely to use drugs than kids who did. A bunch of us turned out to be big druggies, that's for sure.

We had that DARE shit too and they showed up and one of the things these retards preached about was sniffing glue and other inhalants, and guess what happened right after these fucking idiots did this? Yes, there was immediately an epidemic of kids sniffing glue, something they'd never even heard of before these morons showed up to tell us about it.

After the video when the cop asked if we had any questions I asked why is weed bad, because I love laughing, and if it makes people laugh then why is that bad. He got real mad and I got detention for "not taking drugs seriously".

I started taking drugs seriously after DARE, too. As in, I started taking drugs. Seriously.

 

[The Fraggle Queen]

Asked a couple of my high school friends if they could remember more weird shit, so here goes:

A friend’s pen fell out of her pocket while she was in a bathroom cubicle and rolled into the next one. When she went to retrieve it she found that the cubicle was absolutely saturated with blood. She called one of the first aid people in (it wasn’t her blood, I should add). We later found out someone had miscarried in the toilet cubicle and that was why there was so much blood.

A girl had her eardrum ruptured when a kid threw a firework at her. Luckily it didn’t actually hit her but it was damn close.

We were forced to wear our blazers as part of school uniform (britbong school, uniforms are commonplace here) even in the hottest temperatures of the year, until a girl passed out from the heat one summer.

When we did dissections, a kid threw a sheep heart at the wall and it burst.

Yeah, my high school was interesting to say the least.

 

[AmazingEagle]

One of my high school classmates named Craig was the New York version of Chris Chan, he dressed in flashy and outdated clothes, smelled like piss and shit, acted like a baby when he got bullied and if someone criticized him, and in general, was a massive pain the ass to deal with, I had an encounter with Craig during lunch where he speed-walked to my table and accused my friend Jake of "bullying me" because he was a football player even though he was one of the nicest kids in the school.

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Ok, so. Im PLing here, but. This has been on my mind. And I still don't understand what it was about

Did any of you, in middle school, get pulled into the councilors office to take a test? Not just any test. A test with a person who doesn't work at the school. Never told me WHERE they were from. But, the weird thing was said test.

It had questions about things like. If you slept with your school books in the bed, or if you heard your name when you were alone. Those are the two I remember most.

Another time, something similar happened, but I had to play a word association game. Except they had me change almost every answer to something more stereotypical.

I never heard anything about these tests after. And no one else I knew ever mentioned them.

I never thought about how fucking weird it was until recently.

 

[seri0us]

Ok, so. Im PLing here, but. This has been on my mind. And I still don't understand what it was about

Did any of you, in middle school, get pulled into the councilors office to take a test? Not just any test. A test with a person who doesn't work at the school. Never told me WHERE they were from. But, the weird thing was said test.

It had questions about things like. If you slept with your school books in the bed, or if you heard your name when you were alone. Those are the two I remember most.

Another time, something similar happened, but I had to play a word association game. Except they had me change almost every answer to something more stereotypical.

I never heard anything about these tests after. And no one else I knew ever mentioned them.

I never thought about how fucking weird it was until recently.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you were the retarded kid