Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Jaimas]

I used to work at a social service agency that saw a lot of trans folks, particularly trans women. As has been noted elsewhere around this place, the few FTM trans folks we did see were much more civilized and reasonable. And when I first worked at this place about 15 years ago, the MTF trans were too. There was one trans chick in particular who passed reasonably well. I didn't notice. I thought she was just kind of a butchy dyke hippie type. I'll call her Sunshine. Anyway, toward the end of my time there (I quit about 7 years ago) we started getting more of the sexpest Yavin types who were really strident, really aggro in their views. At first we were like cool, progressive and out there, political, yeah sure we're down. Then over time we started noticing that these troons were really dismissive of others' feelings. Sunshine was a Dad/Mom and was coparenting with her wife (ETA: This was a wife she got post op, not one she dragged along for the ride). They were really just a super nice, salt of the earth dyke couple in presentation. So, as a parent, Sunshine was a bit more in tune to the creep factor of the troon patrol. She was also not so gung ho on the idea of medicalization for trans kids. Having been through it herself, having a child of her own, she really had a reserve about medicalizing the trans experience for children that the troons did not. She also was sensitive about the sports issues, being an athlete herself. She also wasn't having this nonsense about it being transphobic for lesbians to not want to date pre-op MTF transfolks. And that's where shit hit the fan.

Guess what the troons did? They went apeshit and managed to chase out this sensible, reasonable, valuable, asset to the community for being a "self-hating transwoman" for being a "gatekeeper to trans identity" for "promoting abusive parenting" and being an "apologist for abusive parenting." Sunshine is now caught in this bizarre world where troons think she's an Uncle Tom to the cis world, and have frozen her out. Luckily she's older and very settled in her trans status having gone through it about 20-25 years ago, so she needs no approval from anyone. Which is what is really sad, because this is exactly the kind of sensible, rational, adult transperson who is perfect to talk to kids questioning and wondering and wanting to work through things (she was also a strong believer that you should work on your other shit PRIOR to transitioning because otherwise transitioning was NOT going to help you at all and you'd end up regretting it, which also got her exactly zero friends in troon town). But it strikes me as fucked up that these AGP SexPests who are the ones fetishizing their trans status are chasing off people who were doing real work in the field so that they can just scream about their entitlement complex. I can't figure out how they can come in and act like what they claim patriarchy acts like and yet claim they're working to dismantle patriarchy. It's literally patriarchy in a dress. Fuckers.

A similar observation was had by Subject Alpha that they shared with me, and it boils down like this:

One reason it's so easy to dismiss Dysphoria as not being real is that the number of people with it is very small - around 0.05% of the population at the absolute most. Your average person might never meet a Dysphoric person, and even then, if they transitioned (which for them, was about medical necessity), you might not ever recognize them as it from first glance.

What happened is that around 2010 or so, Social Media had made self-diagnosing with every mental health condition under the sun trendy, and with that came a profusion of flat-out ridiculous shit like the multiple system community. Eventually, not content with that, they moved onto claiming to be trans, and there, they ran into resistance. The transgender community was not about to let these dipshits use them as props to get social cred on Twitter and Tumblr, but they were massively, obscenely outnumbered. Troons outnumber legitimate transgendered people by somewhere like 20-to-1, it's ridiculous.

Even if every single one of them were to unite, and attempt to make their force heard - such as through a thunderclap campaign or whatever - it wouldn't be enough to make a dent. The crazies took over the asylum, murdered the patients and guards, declared that anyone who used proper medical diagnosis was wrong, and then declared themselves the TRUE and HONEST transgendered people. It's fucking sick.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The crazies took over the asylum, murdered the patients and guards, declared that anyone who used proper medical diagnosis was wrong, and then declared themselves the TRUE and HONEST transgendered people. It's fucking sick.

Dumb metaphor: if the old-school transsexuals are people with excoriate-all-the-skin-off-your-hands OCD, the genderspecial crowd are the ones lining up their pencils and saying "lol I'm so OCD."

Except instead of being told not to co-opt a real and painful disease, they somehow stumbled on something where they get external encouragement. It's like if people suddenly got attention, money, employment protection and a social media shield on their feelings by sharing the "What Supernatural Monster Are You" quiz results.

The cycle self-perpetuates and gains momentum, and now you have mal-adjusted normals booking surgery to have all the skin removed from their hands (surprise return of earlier metaphor) because no, they don't feel like they have to wash their hands that much, but the surgeon can do it for them and then everyone will know about their feelings by sight, and who are you to judge anyone's degree of true and honest self-diagnosed OCD, bigot?

Shorter metaphor: everyone except you woke up one day and decided to take furries and their fursonas dead seriously. For a while, you thought they were kidding, but now you're learning that you mustn't let anyone know of your furphobic heresy.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Shorter metaphor: everyone except you woke up one day and decided to take furries and their fursonas dead seriously. For a while, you thought they were kidding, but now you're learning that you mustn't let anyone know of your furphobic heresy.

I honestly don't even understand why they have to make it a social justice issue in the first place. What i mean is, there have been people into cosmetic surgery for vanity purposes for a long time, there has been a pretty extreme body modification community for a long time, we already had people who simply got surgery to change their appearance just because they wanted to without any more justification needed. why can't that be enough? I would respect it more if most troons just owned it as a personal decision that has nothing to do gender issues or lgbt or social revindication but just another aesthetic choice done for vanity reasons, the same way a punk chooses to dress as a punk , the same way that people like black alien project or that woman who turned into a vampire decide to change their body. We don't need to twist reality or invent 50 genders for this and certainly theres no need to rope kinds into it and turn it into a whole ideology to bludgeon people with. Society already tolerates fetishes, but no, they have to get it out of the nightclubs and their own homes and into the preeschools.

 

[Little Dark Age]

I honestly don't even understand why they have to make it a social justice issue in the first place. What i mean is, there have been people into cosmetic surgery for vanity purposes for a long time, there has been a pretty extreme body modification community for a long time, we already had people who simply got surgery to change their appearance just because they wanted to without any more justification needed. why can't that be enough? I would respect it more if most troons just owned it as a personal decision that has nothing to do gender issues or lgbt or social revindication , just another aesthetic choice , the same way that people like black alien project or that woman who turned into a vampire do it. We don't need to twist reality or invent 50 genders for this and certainly theres no need to rope kinds into it and turn it into a whole ideology to bludgeon people with.

Most of these people don't get any surgery. It isn't actually about "dysphoria" at all even if a small percentage have it (surely, far less than claim to). It isn't about aesthetic choices or gender-bending a la Bowie. And none of this is actually about poor suffering super-gays who hate their dicks and just want to live a quiet life. That is a lie.

 

[Aib Ld]

Update on that art friend.
Well, I happen to come across her again. On twitter of all places because I was looking for art to commission. She changed her real name to something totally different-like common examples are like Daniel to Danielle, instead its like Catherine to Tony. She's like a totally different person and her bio is filled with "do not interact if your a bigot or proshipper..." and so many words I don't even know.
She's still seeing herself as a he/him lesbian and keeps posting about some medication she needs to take everyday.
One of the weird things was like "Do not use my art for reaction images." Reaction images. At the same time, she's using them as reaction images anyway. (Her reasons was "Doing it is incredibly damaging to artists. all artists do not enjoy their art being stolen and used for purposes other than what they make it for. if anything draw your own reaction images.". what. I can get it for any other reason, but reaction images?)
Her art didn't change at all. It's all pastel gay/lgbt/whatever and some complete changes of characters where I have to look at the tags to see what they are.
The person I knew, the person I was a friend with, is long gone.
I recently found a screenshot she sent me long ago where she was at on her Discord and some friend in her DMs said the same thing that was on my mind back then: "You're making me walk on eggshells. That's unhealthy for both of us. You weren't like this before." It was one of those pics she would send for the typical 'this friend is mean' bombs I would get. My response was "I don't know what is the context though". She blew up at me.
I want to post it here, but no idea if its too powerlevel-y even if I censor the names.
Even then, the implications that she abandoned everyone who genuinely wanted to help her, to instead join a love-bombing cult is horrifying. And I didn't even notice it.

EDIT: Scrolled down a bit to see her post in the "TransMenareMen" tag and her friends now are more trans people. That is pretty much the nail in the coffin that she's gone.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

I know a ton of trans people. In general they've been overall good and there's only one who seems to be a fetishist. But they're almost all autistic, neurotic, anxious... ect, and univerally spend way too much time on the internet.

The one I lose the most sleep over is an MTF who is a really sweet, smart, kid, but is also a shut-in and almost certainly schizophrenic. He's fixated on all things female, and lesbian, and after a couple years of me good-naturedly humoring female pronouns, he's now started identifying as a multi-system, references himself as "we" and holds conversations with the triple goddess in his head. I have no idea how to help and I'm actively angry and whoever let him start hormones in his condition. He tends to live in a fantasy land, and I had to argue him out of the belief that womb transplants were already possible.

 

[AMHOLIO]

@KaibaCorp ToeSucker I feel you. I do the same for my friend. I'm sorry this happened homie, its rough when you care and you get trampled on like Aunt Carol said.

And there's a reason most of us cis girls are adverse to sex stuff at younger ages: if shit goes bad, us ladies are left holding the baggage. F to your friend if she was actually molested, but damn, ahe should have respected your boundaries as well.

Even if every single one of them were to unite, and attempt to make their force heard - such as through a thunderclap campaign or whatever - it wouldn't be enough to make a dent. The crazies took over the asylum, murdered the patients and guards, declared that anyone who used proper medical diagnosis was wrong, and then declared themselves the TRUE and HONEST transgendered people. It's fucking sick.

This is one of the biggest tragiedies with the troon squad. I wish all the true and honest trans people a good day and hope that they can live in peace away from the crazed ones foe now.

I honestly don't even understand why they have to make it a social justice issue in the first place. What i mean is, there have been people into cosmetic surgery for vanity purposes for a long time, there has been a pretty extreme body modification community for a long time, we already had people who simply got surgery to change their appearance just because they wanted to without any more justification needed. why can't that be enough? I would respect it more if most troons just owned it as a personal decision that has nothing to do gender issues or lgbt or social revindication but just another aesthetic choice done for vanity reasons, the same way a punk chooses to dress as a punk , the same way that people like black alien project or that woman who turned into a vampire decide to change their body. We don't need to twist reality or invent 50 genders for this and certainly theres no need to rope kinds into it and turn it into a whole ideology to bludgeon people with. Society already tolerates fetishes, but no, they have to get it out of the nightclubs and their own homes and into the preeschools.

Why not only discover a group you belong to but use that group to get special treatment? Why not leech all that leftover LGBT donation money for gay marriage and only use it on the T?
Teens, queen bees, people with an inferiority complex, and incels jumped on the first one as hard as possible. LGBT groups jumped on the second one out of both kindness and realizing your organization might be out of a job otherwise (sure, you could switch to more international goals or focus more on youth help & aids prevention but that's harder).

I know a ton of trans people. In general they've been overall good and there's only one who seems to be a fetishist. But they're almost all autistic, neurotic, anxious... ect, and univerally spend way too much time on the internet.

I feel like I can't hate most trans trenders because of this. I know too many of them who outside of their problems are good people, they just got misleas and are taking a bad path. I got friends like this myself. This is why more people need to touch grass.

Personally I would have told your friend to go get a womb transplant scheduled but that couls have lead him to harrassing doctors if he didn't give an excuse. If firmy telling him to go to therapy doesn't help, he'll have to burn out on his own, sadly.

 

[Wallace]

Most of these people don't get any surgery. It isn't actually about "dysphoria" at all even if a small percentage have it (surely, far less than claim to). It isn't about aesthetic choices or gender-bending a la Bowie. And none of this is actually about poor suffering super-gays who hate their dicks and just want to live a quiet life. That is a lie.

I think it is about the aesthetic, or at least the validation that comes from embracing the aesthetic. It started when "metrosexual" was a thing a few years back. Social anxiety has been rebranded as dysphoria, and gay spaces have been thoroughly gentrified by hipsters, narcs, and autistic nerds.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think it is about the aesthetic, or at least the validation that comes from embracing the aesthetic. It started when "metrosexual" was a thing a few years back. Social anxiety has been rebranded as dysphoria, and gay spaces have been thoroughly gentrified by hipsters, narcs, and autistic nerds.

The insidious part is that you can tell your childhood BFF that their hipster phase isn't them, looks silly and won't get them social acceptance. If it's a trans phase instead, they're automatically beyond criticism or even gentle suggestion.

 

[AMHOLIO]

The insidious part is that you can tell your childhood BFF that their hipster phase isn't them, looks silly and won't get them social acceptance. If it's a trans phase instead, they're automatically beyond criticism or even gentle suggestion.

It really makes me wonder about the next 5 to 10 years: what happens when you grow out of a phase? How many will admit it and rebrand themselves, or admit it and get help? How many will think they fucked up to the point of suicide? How many will double down?

Its going to be a wild ride when the trans trenders and troons internally peak themselves, if they ever.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

what happens when you grow out of a phase? How many will admit it and rebrand themselves, or admit it and get help?

there's a big business with erasing tattoos and correcting earlobes from all those millenials who thought that was their identity 10 years ago. I really do wonder how big the scandal will be and how hard will it be covered up or self censored by former troons. The higher the stakes the higher the sunk cost, is easier to admit you regret your getting tunnel earrings for a phase but not that you chopped up your dick one.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The higher the stakes the higher the sunk cost, is easier to admit you regret your getting tunnel earrings for a phase but not that you chopped up your dick one.

There's going to be a lot of business for electrolysis clinics, removing mustaches from the suburban moms who were once trans-until-graduation. In a way, that's kind of nice: electrolysis is usually a one-woman shop so the troon-industrial complex will finally trickle down to local business.

(Modern MtFs seem to prefer laser, possibly because they want a fast, cheap solution but they're too allergic to research to discover it's temporary. That's a fun surprise for later.)

 

[teriyakiburns]

I just graduated from "a couple" to "an entire social group". How much to reveal without PL... ok, I have a gaming group I've hung around with for quite a few years. Mostly online shooters and that sort of thing, something to wind down at the weekend now and then. It's almost all male. Work has been intense recently, so between shitposting here and being actually productive, I've not had much time to spend gaming and consequently haven't spent much time interacting to them for quite a few weeks. Checked in today and suddenly half the active group are squeaking about how euphoric they are and going on about their spinny dresses and "escaping" their oppressive families. Played one session and it was every single tranny stereotype you can imagine. Faggoty lisps, squeaking "female" voices, constant complaining about being misgendered, never-ending whining about everything under the sun and all the while, they're ignoring the game we're supposed to be playing.

RIP gaming night I guess.

 

[Aunt Carol]

. Checked in today and suddenly half the active group are squeaking about how euphoric they are and going on about their spinny dresses and "escaping" their oppressive families. Played one session and it was every single tranny stereotype you can imagine. Faggoty lisps, squeaking "female" voices, constant complaining about being misgendered, never-ending whining about everything under the sun and all the while, they're ignoring the game we're supposed to be playing.

RIP gaming night I guess.

I'm so sorry.

The way you wrote this captures the horror story perfectly. It's realizing that the body snatchers exist--because they're suddenly all around you.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Checked in today and suddenly half the active group are squeaking about how euphoric they are and going on about their spinny dresses and "escaping" their oppressive families.

The male version of rogd

 

[OttoWest]

Not quite a lost a fan/friend to troonery but close enough.

Yesterday I was talking to my brother, one of my favorite people in the world. He lives in a place where the state gov is going full throttle on the anti troon bills. Brother and I have discussed gender shit on occasion so he knows my stance but it’s been a few years.

Anyway, he has a Jeanette Jennings for a pal, a woman who is trooning out her 8 year old son. And he supports it. He’s been emailing and calling reps and senators on her behalf because for some reason he buys the story that a four year old (the age this child was when he allegedly told his mom he was a girl) could “know” they were the wrong sex.

I didn’t say anything, because it’s just not worth the argument and we have other things to talk about and debate on a more positive end. But I can’t believe he fell for this shit. This is usually a very intelligent, thoughtful guy. I think it’s because he doesn’t have kids, and despite being an uncle several times over, he just doesn’t quite get the way kids think and express themselves at that age.

Four years old— and this woman trooned out her kid for hipster asspats. My dark thought is if this woman continues to medically transition her child, which is what she has planned, he’s going to see in real time a Jazz in the making. Sometimes you gotta let people peak trans themselves.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I'm so sorry.

The way you wrote this captures the horror story perfectly. It's realizing that the body snatchers exist--because they're suddenly all around you.

That's the truth. Now they're in this group, they're in every single god-forsaken place I hang out on the interwebs. Until very recently online communities used to be a social lifeline for me, all the way back to usenet. I've moved around so often for work and career changes that I've never really had time to develop local social groups, meaning the only socialisation I really have is either short-term, with co-workers and neighbours until I move on again, or with my family (when I get to see them) and with my wife. She's a fucking geek (in the best possible way, I swear), so we don't leave the house much.

Now it's reached the point where they're appearing more in real-life social groups where you just wouldn't have expected them. I can't even rely on my old standby of finding a church these days. Half of them are troon-friendly and the other half are full of sour old gossipmongers and "community organisers" who expect everyone else to do all the actual work while they reap all the social reward.

Ironically enough I can see the lure of the tranny cult. Trooning out comes with a built-in social circle, social status, and something that superficially resembles a support network extending into the real world. For the socially isolated, that could seem incredibly tempting. All you have to do is follow a few simple rules, accept a few simple priors, and you're in.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Ironically enough I can see the lure of the tranny cult. Trooning out comes with a built-in social circle, social status, and something that superficially resembles a support network extending into the real world. For the socially isolated, that could seem incredibly tempting. All you have to do is follow a few simple rules, accept a few simple priors, and you're in.

Exactly like you say: cult.

And if they have any doubts, if they start to feel that transition isn't right for them, they know they can't say anything to any of their trans friends or they'll become a Suppressive Person.

It's hard in nerd social groups, too, because there's that easy tolerance for fat polyamorists, Wiccans, lolbertarians and spoonies--and if the new troons were less insidious, that would continue to work itself out.

The assumed nerd default is that you are pro-troon. If you actually speak up and say "my belief is that this is a social contagion masking a real problem" -- well, now you're the weird and obsessive person for bringing it up, and there's no way to tell if the person you're talking to is a True Believer or another person who was staying quiet out of self-preservation. If you disclosed to a handmaiden, say goodbye to GURPS on Thursday.

 

[Dreamer]

No losses, probably no risk of losses either.
But im worried about my "environment" overall.
Fortunately where-i-live is mostly free from extremally leftie politics but it comes at a price of "resistance" form them seeming more validated.

My a few years back my sister told me shes bi, and i asked her if that meant she had someone in mind, she just said no. That kind of solidified it as a fad for me, shes very much like me, in that she doesn't really care about relationships, i had to kinda coax her into keeping real life friends so i just think she took on this "identity" on account of her friends. Haven't heard anything about it since so she might have changed her mind about it already but im afraid to ask. Anyway while she won't troon out she might still get burned by someone who might, namely her friend who decided to switch sides, FtM. Apparently (she) wants to run away from her christian parents at 18 and is already baiting suicide. The one time i my sister called me crying was about a situation where she was getting the suicide hotline treatment from (her) and i held it as a grudge ever since.

The prospect of this shit spreading like a fucking disease really bothers me, i've since taught sis to spit on twitter, keep away from internet /pol/tards at all cost and generally protect her anonymity and not engage with the Internet on a personal level. Try to think objectively and dispassionately, so on. I couldn't really tell her what kind of a disaster gender reassignment surgery really is so i just told her its really fucking bad and that she shouldn't support it no matter waht even when she insists on "respecting" trannies and other alphabets. I think she trusts me enough to accept it. And now i just wonder if i did enough. I really can see viewpoints shift, my best friend is slowly turning sympathetic towards them even when he pretty much knows the same things i do, maybe he just pities them, i don't know.

I noticed that at some point i started wishing for some big scandal, one that the media wouldn't dare to lie about, something that would expose the troon cult to people who don't know shit and are essentially just useful idiots. Because i really don't think there is any other way this will stop. I'm pretty scared. Compared to some of you i really had it pretty good so far but if my corner of the room is going to go to shit the same way i think it will legitimately break me.

 

[Kiislova]

No losses, probably no risk of losses either.
But im worried about my "environment" overall.
Fortunately where-i-live is mostly free from extremally leftie politics but it comes at a price of "resistance" form them seeming more validated.

My a few years back my sister told me shes bi, and i asked her if that meant she had someone in mind, she just said no. That kind of solidified it as a fad for me, shes very much like me, in that she doesn't really care about relationships, i had to kinda coax her into keeping real life friends so i just think she took on this "identity" on account of her friends. Haven't heard anything about it since so she might have changed her mind about it already but im afraid to ask. Anyway while she won't troon out she might still get burned by someone who might, namely her friend who decided to switch sides, FtM. Apparently (she) wants to run away from her christian parents at 18 and is already baiting suicide. The one time i my sister called me crying was about a situation where she was getting the suicide hotline treatment from (her) and i held it as a grudge ever since.

The prospect of this shit spreading like a fucking disease really bothers me, i've since taught sis to spit on twitter, keep away from internet /pol/tards at all cost and generally protect her anonymity and not engage with the Internet on a personal level. Try to think objectively and dispassionately, so on. I couldn't really tell her what kind of a disaster gender reassignment surgery really is so i just told her its really fucking bad and that she shouldn't support it no matter waht even when she insists on "respecting" trannies and other alphabets. I think she trusts me enough to accept it. And now i just wonder if i did enough. I really can see viewpoints shift, my best friend is slowly turning sympathetic towards them even when he pretty much knows the same things i do, maybe he just pities them, i don't know.

I noticed that at some point i started wishing for some big scandal, one that the media wouldn't dare to lie about, something that would expose the troon cult to people who don't know shit and are essentially just useful idiots. Because i really don't think there is any other way this will stop. I'm pretty scared. Compared to some of you i really had it pretty good so far but if my corner of the room is going to go to shit the same way i think it will legitimately break me.

Here I'm hoping Yaniv does something so egregious even the woke media has to negatively report on it. Ill take my rainbows.