DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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So according to DSP. YouTube was made by a bunch of morons because when you search for DSP a bunch of troll shit comes first before his actual stream.

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Sure Phil. The people who make and maintain the site don't know how it works. YOU know how it works.

It's totally Youtube's fault. I am sure it has nothing to do with you being a laughingstock.
maybe when you search dsp" you doesnt show up because the system knows that 95% of people who search for "dsp" want to watch mentally ill detractor shit and not some chill and phasitive gameplay?
 
maybe when you search dsp" you doesnt show up because the system knows that 95% of people who search for "dsp" want to watch mentally ill detractor shit and not some chill and phasitive gameplay?
Sounds like a product/service working for the consumer working as intended.

The majority of people search for DSP want to see troll content? Well here you go!
 
A few things to bring up since Phil’s behavior has been erratic over the last few days:

1. The inevitable shifting of the goalposts. I predicted during the birth of the $0/$100 Tips Goal metric back in Q1-Q2 of 2019 that Phil would inevitably start fiddling with the number attached to that $0. Two years later, departnered from Twitch, and in the midst of having the lowest dedicated audience he’s had in over a decade, we have a man who’s demanding more than ever. Who’s pressuring a dwindling userbase constantly and is still riding on the high of an insanely lucrative but unusual year. The Vest Streak (which ended up being a complete sham and was funded via stolen CCs since so many tips were charged back) really fucked with his head. He cannot understand how a year where everyone in the US and EU was mostly shuttered inside their own homes due to a novel virus that subsequently generated hefty government handouts wouldn’t have anything to do with an increased viewership and donation ratio. Absolutely brain dead.

2. Phil is arguably one of the laziest streamers on the internet and he absolutely doesn’t check stats, metrics or any other data points that would indicate his overall channel’s health. He has confirmed he isn’t interested in channel growth or even looking at where he is succeeding/ failing. If he did, he would have noticed that his stream numbers are consistently going down and the money he was getting compared to the same time last year is also going down but more slowly than his viewership. This should be popping up a million red flags for anybody in his situation with two functioning neurons but instead DSP decides to squeeze the dozen idiots who have supported him over the last year even harder. If you want to destroy the little bit of stability you have left in your life, just do what Phil is doing. You’ll ruin your life pretty quickly, I guarantee you that.

3. Someone posted an Asmoncuck video of him getting trolled in FF14 and compared to the reaction of DSP getting trolled in WoW. These multiplayer moments display Phil’s selfish behavior where he simply refuses to play anything that he personally doesn’t find fun. Years of neglecting his audience and being rewarded for it while being a complete hermit devoid of human interaction has turned him into an abnormal selfish recluse who refuses to do any selfless act for anybody even if it would benefit him financially. If it doesn’t benefit him directly and immediately, Phil will simply refuse to do it. It’s really demented behavior and speaks to the detrimental level his mental health has receded into.

4. Somebody posted a graph of Phil’s Twitch subscription numbers. The graph is deceptive as it appears that he was gaining subs over the course of his Twitch career. The Gifted Subs completely skew the data but the Twitch Prime Subscriptions are a perfect indicator of a linear decline over time and are the best indicator of the dedicated audience who donate their free sub to their favorite streamer (as it’s often used). In Phil’s case, just like currently on YT, that number has been consistently going down. It’s an ever ongoing decline that is moving as a snail’s pace and a good indicator of how difficult it is to underestimate the army of dedicated retards who support this man for whatever reason (familiarity, belonging to a community, feeling safe, feeling recognized just to name a few).

5. Another stream, another shameless begging Tweet. It’s just amazing something that just last year he was incredibly embarrassed to do has become normal happenstance. As I said in my first point, the Vest Streak and the oh-so-elusive success he has been chasing ever since it ended have really fucked with him hard. DSP is so fucking dumb, he judged one abnormally good business year as the standard moving forward, regardless of the consequences of his actions… like moving his streams onto an inferior streaming website where his index search ranking has been completely destroyed due to years of content atrophy, a lack of innovation in content production, disabled comments and foregoing any meaningful updates. It’s truly insane how this guy works so hard to defy logic on a daily basis. It’s like rationality and common sense are his mortal enemies.

6. I’m still impressed at the resiliency of his whales. He is still able to hit the Tips Goals and make upwards of over $200 on most days even though his viewer base has shrunk significantly ever since his migration onto YT. But the walls are ever slowly closing in. The name of a SuperChatter caught my eye today: “Wings8MyChili.” As long as the absolute reprobates and degenerates who naturally gravitate towards lolcows like Phil, Wings, and LTG exist, Phil will be able to tap into a finite amount of lonely, desperate idiots to throw money at him just for his recognition, as well as that of detractor circles. It’s kinda nuts that we have people who find these smaller unknown streamers and for whatever reason decide to give them money or financially support them. Really speaks to the state of lonely, depressed men in Western society who spend their lives in the dark corners of the internet.

It’s insane how far notoriety can carry someone even if their existence has become completely devoid of any meaning besides living to experience a rush of endorphins associated with seeing an arbitrary number attached on top of a screen to watch it impatiently grow in size the longer they publicly debase themselves. Just truly fascinating that people like DSP simply exist.
 
So according to DSP. YouTube was made by a bunch of morons because when you search for DSP a bunch of troll shit comes first before his actual stream.

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Sure Phil. The people who make and maintain the site don't know how it works. YOU know how it works.

It's totally Youtube's fault. I am sure it has nothing to do with you being a laughingstock.
That's actually Dark's fault. He's stupid. He doesn't name his streams or videos properly, his thumbnails suck, he gets no engagement from likes or dislikes, he has no comments under his videos.

Detractors put somewhat of an effort to engage with the algorithm and appear in search results. They get conversations to happen in their comment sections, they have positive like/dislike ratios. Also detractors content doesn't look like you dumped a bunch of videos on YouTube with generic titles and thumbnails, a-la 2010 YouTube.
 
lol This stream is like a greatest hits of Phil's lies, paranoia and delusions.
MLB streams have been that for years. Sure, for 3 streams where absolutely nothing happens you get one where he loses his mind for half the stream and produces pure, unadulterated gold dust. Swinecraft was a similar situation, in fact many really slow "chill" games end up spawning the most ultratoxic delusional 30 minute rants for some reason. Maybe because he isn't too busy bitching about being bad at the videogame.
 
he replied to someone on twitter, and said his house was built specifically to retain heat

who says shit like this lol

edit:

View attachment 2301974

Link
In Northern US there is different code across sectors that is exactly that. While he clearly doesn't understand what he is saying and also can't grok basic HVAC concepts that every homeowner and hell every renter should understand to save money and be comfortable. Here's what a map looks like but the code changed over time. Previously his area was strictly barely any AC:
8Lo_9JoUetSjIuth_ZfEslCBzrfq9LToklBU1WXsOBaBm0Fvk1YQ0LvW5gJsvG1JPDd2Sa_wl7luHsbkXkUDXSIBVx5CVGaeeaRdk5c=s0-d

Add to that this gem:
AC.jpg

And you realize this temperature sensitive retar...kid was so street smart he bought a house that would never be able to keep the house a cool 65F like he enjoys because it lacks AC entirely, and window units are insanely more expensive. Remember this for the future when talks about selling this piece of shit condo come up. This is a person who is "ghetto rich" by definition. They live in every house they rent or own like it's an apartment and run it down. They do not upkeep it at all and as a result they leave having lost money, wasted value in the home, and the next owners have a massive list of shit to clean up an repair which they will slowly find out about over time as surprises. It sucks to live after.
So Khet was having breakfast at 11AM on a Friday? I have a friend who works in retail and Fridays are the busiest day of the week and with 4th of July coming up, wouldn't that shit be crowded with people wanting to buy shit?
Special needs workers or slow people such as elderly or sandbaggers (often people who are part time) are avoided being scheduled during the busiest of times. When you're overloaded you always want your most reliable workers that way your shittier workers who call out more often, do less on a shift, and are more prone to quitting don't fuck things up. Also if you've ever worked any kind of low wage job like this you know that they always have one person per shift that calls out, they always schedule a couple iffy people on the shifts with the harder workers knowing it'll work out anyway if they call out. Also...didn't she quit/get fired from Fred Meyers? Unless I missed something, we don't know where she currently works, assuming she even has a new job.
 
As I continue down the rabbit hole of DSP's food related content, I stumbled upon a Poorly Cookin' w/ The King episode that's not talked about very often and is actually new to me in my years of following DSP. In this video, he makes a FRESH Italian style pizza. How do you make a FRESH Italian style pizza from an Italian man that grew up in Connecticut and is very authentic? Well, here it is.

- Use FRESH premade pizza bread crust (from Boboli)
- Spread Casa Visco's Pizza Sauce on the bread (comes jarred, avoid using pasta sauce such as Ragu)
- Add layer of Sargento's 4 Cheese Pizzeria cheese blend (includes shredded natural mozzarella, cheddar, smoked provolone, non-smoked sharp provolone cheese)
- Add salt, pepper, mixed basil & garlic, oregano, FRESH cilantro (it was actually fresh)
- Add another layer of cheese (mozzarella from Sargento)
- Add FRESH cut peppers (prechopped and prepackaged by smartcuts)
- Add precut & precooked chicken that you threw in the microwave 10 minutes ago
- Add MORE mozzarella (from Sargento)
- Add MORE cilantro, oregano
- Cook for 10 minutes at 450°F

And you're done! Here is how your fresh & authentic Italian style pizza came out!
DSPFood3.png

 
As I continue down the rabbit hole of DSP's food related content, I stumbled upon a Poorly Cookin' w/ The King episode that's not talked about very often and is actually new to me in my years of following DSP. In this video, he makes a FRESH Italian style pizza. How do you make a FRESH Italian style pizza from an Italian man that grew up in Connecticut and is very authentic? Well, here it is.

- Use FRESH premade pizza bread crust (from Boboli)
- Spread Casa Visco's Pizza Sauce on the bread (comes jarred, avoid using pasta sauce such as Ragu)
- Add layer of Sargento's 4 Cheese Pizzeria cheese blend (includes shredded natural mozzarella, cheddar, smoked provolone, non-smoked sharp provolone cheese)
- Add salt, pepper, mixed basil & garlic, oregano, FRESH cilantro (it was actually fresh)
- Add another layer of cheese (mozzarella from Sargento)
- Add FRESH cut peppers (prechopped and prepackaged by smartcuts)
- Add precut & precooked chicken that you threw in the microwave 10 minutes ago
- Add MORE mozzarella (from Sargento)
- Add MORE cilantro, oregano
- Cook for 10 minutes at 450°F

And you're done! Here is how your fresh & authentic Italian style pizza came out!
View attachment 2323907
If Phil ever set foot on the south of Italy and demanded this kind of roadkill, he would be shot on the spot.
 
As I continue down the rabbit hole of DSP's food related content, I stumbled upon a Poorly Cookin' w/ The King episode that's not talked about very often and is actually new to me in my years of following DSP. In this video, he makes a FRESH Italian style pizza. How do you make a FRESH Italian style pizza from an Italian man that grew up in Connecticut and is very authentic? Well, here it is.

- Use FRESH premade pizza bread crust (from Boboli)
- Spread Casa Visco's Pizza Sauce on the bread (comes jarred, avoid using pasta sauce such as Ragu)
- Add layer of Sargento's 4 Cheese Pizzeria cheese blend (includes shredded natural mozzarella, cheddar, smoked provolone, non-smoked sharp provolone cheese)
- Add salt, pepper, mixed basil & garlic, oregano, FRESH cilantro (it was actually fresh)
- Add another layer of cheese (mozzarella from Sargento)
- Add FRESH cut peppers (prechopped and prepackaged by smartcuts)
- Add precut & precooked chicken that you threw in the microwave 10 minutes ago
- Add MORE mozzarella (from Sargento)
- Add MORE cilantro, oregano
- Cook for 10 minutes at 450°F

And you're done! Here is how your fresh & authentic Italian style pizza came out!
View attachment 2323907

am i retarded? why does his little symbol bottom left read "poorly cookin' king with the"

like am i fucking stupid or is that how it reads?
 
am i retarded? why does his little symbol bottom left read "poorly cookin' king with the"

like am i fucking stupid or is that how it reads?
nope, that is exactly how it fuckin reads and it is so stupid (don't know who made it, but they had to be fucking around)

it's intentional, here is the original watermark
DSPCooking3.png
 
nope, that is exactly how it fuckin reads and it is so stupid (don't know who made it, but they had to be fucking around)

it's intentional, here is the original watermark
View attachment 2324003

i was around when these videos were first uploaded so i guess i just blocked that part out. my brain just re-arranged the words in my memory. i don't remember reading it simulating a fucking stroke.
 
As I continue down the rabbit hole of DSP's food related content, I stumbled upon a Poorly Cookin' w/ The King episode that's not talked about very often and is actually new to me in my years of following DSP. In this video, he makes a FRESH Italian style pizza. How do you make a FRESH Italian style pizza from an Italian man that grew up in Connecticut and is very authentic? Well, here it is.

- Use FRESH premade pizza bread crust (from Boboli)
- Spread Casa Visco's Pizza Sauce on the bread (comes jarred, avoid using pasta sauce such as Ragu)
- Add layer of Sargento's 4 Cheese Pizzeria cheese blend (includes shredded natural mozzarella, cheddar, smoked provolone, non-smoked sharp provolone cheese)
- Add salt, pepper, mixed basil & garlic, oregano, FRESH cilantro (it was actually fresh)
- Add another layer of cheese (mozzarella from Sargento)
- Add FRESH cut peppers (prechopped and prepackaged by smartcuts)
- Add precut & precooked chicken that you threw in the microwave 10 minutes ago
- Add MORE mozzarella (from Sargento)
- Add MORE cilantro, oregano
- Cook for 10 minutes at 450°F

And you're done! Here is how your fresh & authentic Italian style pizza came out!
View attachment 2323907
Im lookin for the episode where he throws out 1/4th of the meat cause he dont need it at that moment. Did u stumbled upon it lately?
 
A few things to bring up since Phil’s behavior has been erratic over the last few days:
As a long-time FF14 player I was interested to see Asmongold playing FFXIV too and it was really night and day compared to DSP. Asmon basically completely ignores these people and doesn't say shit about them unless it's before/after the stream really starts, when he's not playing the game. He'll call them losers or idiots or whatever but as soon as he's in-game he doesn't acknowledge them. Phil has nothing entertaining to talk about and is more boring than watching paint dry on his own so he'd make the entire stream about the trolls, crying about the no-life losers ruining the stream, and constantly pausing to ask stream chat if there's a way to hide them.
 
As I continue down the rabbit hole of DSP's food related content, I stumbled upon a Poorly Cookin' w/ The King episode that's not talked about very often and is actually new to me in my years of following DSP. In this video, he makes a FRESH Italian style pizza. How do you make a FRESH Italian style pizza from an Italian man that grew up in Connecticut and is very authentic? Well, here it is.

- Use FRESH premade pizza bread crust (from Boboli)
- Spread Casa Visco's Pizza Sauce on the bread (comes jarred, avoid using pasta sauce such as Ragu)
- Add layer of Sargento's 4 Cheese Pizzeria cheese blend (includes shredded natural mozzarella, cheddar, smoked provolone, non-smoked sharp provolone cheese)
- Add salt, pepper, mixed basil & garlic, oregano, FRESH cilantro (it was actually fresh)
- Add another layer of cheese (mozzarella from Sargento)
- Add FRESH cut peppers (prechopped and prepackaged by smartcuts)
- Add precut & precooked chicken that you threw in the microwave 10 minutes ago
- Add MORE mozzarella (from Sargento)
- Add MORE cilantro, oregano
- Cook for 10 minutes at 450°F

And you're done! Here is how your fresh & authentic Italian style pizza came out!
View attachment 2323907
The "pain in the ass to make" salad in that video cracks me up every time, and of course he has to top the 'pizza' with more salt because there's no way to 700mg of it in the crust is enough for Phil. Oh yeah, and the empty gin cup in the sink is classic Phil.
I like the empty gin-cup in the sink with the swizzle stick, from 2014. It's just a meme that he's a gin-aholic though you guise.

At 1:40 Phil says salad is a 'pain in the ass to make'.
Phil's 'salad' consists of:
  • Bacon Crumbles (from a bag)
  • Parmesan cheese
  • 'Caesar' Croutons (from a bag)
  • and Lettuce (from a bag) drenched in a salty, oily dressing
  • Topped with. . .more Parmesan cheese

Nothing like getting your RDA of sodium from a small bowl of 'salad', could be why he's so salty. He later instructs us to put extra salt on the mini-pizzas he's making. . .on shelf stable flatbread that you put toppings on and bake. .for another 26% RDA sodium. JFC phil, it's not even a meme at this point, you are literally a salty motherfucker.

Also Phil was his school's valedictorian, but tells us he was too stupid at his first job as a salad tosser to know that if you didn't hold the bowl in place it would 'fly right off the counter' and had happened to him when he was 'learning how to do it', and that the proper 'professional' way to toss a salad is. . .with a spatula. It's definitely not with salad tongs, fuck you, those are just for serving it you fancy pansy.
 
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