r/polyamory

[blablabla]

i mean if you are in iran or whatever but marrying a guy, having childrens with him and then figure it out that you are a dyke? i mean come on, fuck off with that crap.

 

[Coffee Druid]

Dear lord, one of my close mutual friend couples has decided to go poly. The guy literally phrased it as “trying to build a harem.” It’s no surprise, since they’re both into that kind of anime. Apparently the guy already has a date with another prospective girl. I have the feeling the guy initiated it since the girl isn’t as interested in sex for various reasons. She phrased it as “being able to have female friends who are into the same guy.” Sounds like cope.

It primarily bugs be because they have a young child, and that might get confusing for the kid. Plus they made a big deal awhile back about breaking up, trying to date other people, and getting back together because they loved each other so much still. So I guess that meant nothing. In the end it’s none of my concern, but the fact it’s invaded my close friend group (though not the first time) is a little annoying. Maybe it will actually work out for them. Maybe not.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

I'm honestly so glad I left most of my uni friends behind, they WERE those people who both wanted and pushed poly on everyone. While it might work for 1% of couples, it didnt work once out of the 50 or so people i knew who tried it.

Maybe its a part of growing up, but i absolutely swear by finding friends who actively/vocally dislike it. Past 25 those people were largely gone, by 30 they were all gone. Its really really REALLY not worth the drama/effort to be friends with these people. Anybody doing this shit past 25, the upper most limit for fucking around at uni and in life, needs to grow the fuck up.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Dear lord, one of my close mutual friend couples has decided to go poly. The guy literally phrased it as “trying to build a harem.” It’s no surprise, since they’re both into that kind of anime. Apparently the guy already has a date with another prospective girl. I have the feeling the guy initiated it since the girl isn’t as interested in sex for various reasons. She phrased it as “being able to have female friends who are into the same guy.” Sounds like cope.

Sounds like she needs some self-esteem and he needs to stop the anime for keeps. If a man utters the words 'I'm trying to build a harem' and isn't with derision there's layers of failure on hand.

You're likely to be hearing a lot of bullshit about their attempts at the arrangement and so will that kid. Good luck to the both of you, especially the child given its either going to turn into a nasty environment or there's a divorce in their future.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

The only time a harem works is when you're a rich and powerful king or emperor.

 

[AMHOLIO]

The guy literally phrased it as “trying to build a harem.” It’s no surprise, since they’re both into that kind of anime.

This is probably the funniest fucking line I've read in the thread so far.

I don't blame you on the kid though- if one invites the wrong person into their lives, the kid can get the ass end of it. And a house full of discord isn't easy either. That woman needs to fuck off from him, I feel sorry for her but her kid and her happiness is on the line.

 

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

The only time a harem works is when you're a rich and powerful king or emperor.

And then your women will constantly try to kill each other’s children/sons so that their son will be your heir

 

[Coffee Druid]

I'm honestly so glad I left most of my uni friends behind, they WERE those people who both wanted and pushed poly on everyone. While it might work for 1% of couples, it didnt work once out of the 50 or so people i knew who tried it.

Maybe its a part of growing up, but i absolutely swear by finding friends who actively/vocally dislike it. Past 25 those people were largely gone, by 30 they were all gone. Its really really REALLY not worth the drama/effort to be friends with these people. Anybody doing this shit past 25, the upper most limit for fucking around at uni and in life, needs to grow the fuck up.

They're mid-20s so maybe they still have to grow out of it. I sometimes feel MOTI, but there really is no other place I know to even critique poly stuff besides the farms. The few social media I use will glorify it if it comes up, and a lot of my friends, even if they wouldn't be poly themselves, would still say "it can work with communication and respect and everything!" Maybe, but...not really if this thread is anything to go by.

This is probably the funniest fucking line I've read in the thread so far.

I don't blame you on the kid though- if one invites the wrong person into their lives, the kid can get the ass end of it. And a house full of discord isn't easy either. That woman needs to fuck off from him, I feel sorry for her but her kid and her happiness is on the line.

I do feel better in that the woman is the main breadwinner in the couple. The guy can't really hold a job for longer than a few months. And they're not married yet (just engaged), so if worst comes to worst it won't be as hard to break things off if she decides to go her own way. I'll just observe from the sidelines I suppose.

And then your women will constantly try to kill each other’s children/sons so that their son will be your heir

I hate harem anime. But I find it hilarious the only "harem" manga I've ever read was a historical one set in a Persian harem where it went exactly like that.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

But I find it hilarious the only "harem" manga I've ever read was a historical one set in a Persian harem where it went exactly like

First of all, what is that manga called, I need that in my life.

Second, someone should show this guy how even countries that allow multiple wives imply you gotta care about them and provide equally, doubt he could do that.

And third, I seriously doubt he is hot enough for even two girls to be interested in him simulatenously. Let alone entire harem.

 

[Boss Bass]

Plus they made a big deal awhile back about breaking up, trying to date other people, and getting back together because they loved each other so much still. So I guess that meant nothing.

It sounds like neither of them were able to get any dates, so they got back together. And now he’s going to try and build a harem….

 

[Ctrl+Alt+Rt]

Second, someone should show this guy how even countries that allow multiple wives imply you gotta care about them and provide equally, doubt he could do that.

Someone should show me too, because Mohammed let his wives starve and they had to beg on the streets from recent converts for food.

Around the world and even polygamist religious groups in the developed world, wives invariably get the short end of the stick and kids get the short stick in their end.

Dear lord, one of my close mutual friend couples has decided to go poly.

Don't think of it so much as losing friends as shit gets real and sucks everyone's lives into a swirling miasma of unending drama, but as gaining a lolcow!

 

[Cousin It]

They're mid-20s so maybe they still have to grow out of it. I sometimes feel MOTI, but there really is no other place I know to even critique poly stuff besides the farms. The few social media I use will glorify it if it comes up, and a lot of my friends, even if they wouldn't be poly themselves, would still say "it can work with communication and respect and everything!" Maybe, but...not really if this thread is anything to go by.

I do feel better in that the woman is the main breadwinner in the couple. The guy can't really hold a job for longer than a few months. And they're not married yet (just engaged), so if worst comes to worst it won't be as hard to break things off if she decides to go her own way. I'll just observe from the sidelines I suppose.


I hate harem anime. But I find it hilarious the only "harem" manga I've ever read was a historical one set in a Persian harem where it went exactly like that.

I don't know much about your friend group or who out of the couple you are more connected to. However, if you feel like she would decently trust her opinion, you may try to contact her privately and ask if she is sure she feels okay with the arrangement. Maybe not criticize it directly but mention that he seems to feel more excited about it than she does and that you just wanna make sure she's not feeling pressured.

I might not (probably won't) fix anything, but she may feel more resigned to accepting polyamory if it feels like her entire friend group is championing it. Simply having one person let her know that it is okay to have reservations may give her just enough confidence to set up some boundaries.

 

[Black ContraPoints]

These poly situations with children in the picture is always infuriating. They never care about the kids. They never, ever put their selfish desires and dopamine cravings aside for the welfare of the kids. It's always about putting yourself first.

In all the r/polyarmory screencaps when the couple have children together, they always throw in the obligatory 'Oh the kids are fine/will be fine! Trust me, my partner and I watched a lot of podcasts and YouTube videos on how to talk to our kids about it! We're going to be so open and honest with them, they won't be confused, and so there will be no negative effects on them, don't worry!'

Reminds me of when Glennon Doyle dumped her husband to marry Abby Wambach, and her response to criticism that it's probably going to mess up her kids was essentially 'If I'm not as happy as possible then my kids are going to suffer as a result, so I actually did the completely right thing.'

 

[AMHOLIO]

Around the world and even polygamist religious groups in the developed world, wives invariably get the short end of the stick and kids get the short stick in their end.

If fundie mormon groups were on the internet more instead of being inbread in a fucking field they would be posted more becausde of this. Hardcore normal mormons are one thing, polygamy flavored mormons that keep the female children as breeding stock and throw the young boys to die on the streets are another and a great way to show how shitass polygamy is.

At least most sjws are too self centered to want kids (and most degenerates like troons gather in same sex troon polycules so they can't get free children).

 

[Coffee Druid]

First of all, what is that manga called, I need that in my life.

Second, someone should show this guy how even countries that allow multiple wives imply you gotta care about them and provide equally, doubt he could do that.

And third, I seriously doubt he is hot enough for even two girls to be interested in him simulatenously. Let alone entire harem.

Yume no Shizuku, Kin no Torikago by Chie Shinohara. It came out in 2010 but feels like a 90s shojo soap opera. Good political intrigue though. Also I think I mentioned it way back in the thread. But there’s a manga called Bride’s Story (or Tale?) set in the 1800s in Central Asia/Middle east. One of the side stories is about a woman who becomes good friends with another lady. Said lady’s husband dies so the first woman encourages her husband to marry the widow. It’s actually understandable since it helps the widow and her kid have a better life, the husband makes no pretense that he wants or has to sleep with both, and the original wife gets to have her friend live with them. I don’t know, I’m a history nerd.

As for what I was talking about, I feel the “harem” quip was a little tongue in cheek. But at the same time, I guess that kind of is what a poly relationship where the guy alone wants to date more people is. I don’t see them much in person lately, but I could always chat and gently ask how she feels. I don’t even know how long they’ve talked about this either tbf.

Something that came to mind recently is, do any poly parents try to reason that it’s just like divorced and remarried parents? As in, they technically have two sets of parents. But that’s a bit different.

 

[NoReturn]

since they’re both into that kind of anime.

>they're both
[x]

I do feel better in that the woman is the main breadwinner in the couple.

Oh for fucks sake. So he wants to sit at home fucking around and screwing other women while she's at work.

The only time a harem works is when you're a rich and powerful king or emperor.

They also weren't just to get your rocks off. There was a political reason for it sometimes, too.
Imagine taking a wife from a local warlord to align your forces, then word reaches him you're not taking care of her. Even if he doesn't love his girl, that's now the perfect excuse for him to come wreck your shit.

If fundie mormon groups were on the internet more instead of being inbread in a fucking field they would be posted more becausde of this. Hardcore normal mormons are one thing, polygamy flavored mormons that keep the female children as breeding stock and throw the young boys to die on the streets are another and a great way to show how shitass polygamy is.

And then your women will constantly try to kill each other’s children/sons so that their son will be your heir

Daughters are so easy to forget

Spoiler

Bride’s Story

Yep, Bride's Story. It's cute:

 

[Ctrl+Alt+Rt]

New documentary "Roadrunner" about Anthony Bourdain being released tomorrow.

Inside Anthony Bourdain’s ‘manic’ final days and public ‘humiliation’

“There’s no happy ending,” the famous chef — who committed suicide in 2018— eerily says in the new documentary, “Roadrunner.”

nypost.com

His marriage to Busia unraveled amid his near-constant travel and they split amicably in 2016, though their divorce was never finalized.

Shortly after, he met Italian film actress/director Asia Argento while filming “Parts Unknown” in Rome. He quickly developed a teenage-like infatuation with Argento, with friends in the film likening it to an addiction and noting that he referred to her as “the crazy Italian actress” and said things would end “very, very badly.”

“There was a very sort of manic nature to what was going on in that last year,” Collins says. “The highs were very, very high, and the lows were very ugly.”

Chang angrily and tearily recalls Bourdain telling him he would never be a good father.

“He was projecting,” says Chang, now a doting parent to 2-year-old Hugo, with another baby on the way. “It broke his heart that he couldn’t be the f–king dad he thought he could be, the romantic version of dad.”

Bourdain let Argento direct “Parts Unknown” in Hong Kong, after regular director Michael Steed fell ill. Veteran crew members bristled at her approach. Bourdain even fired his longtime Emmy-winning cinematographer Zach Zamboni after he clashed with Argento, who is not among those interviewed in the film.

“I just felt like at the end, I wasn’t going to get closer to him by talking to her because she has her own very clear point of view about things,” Neville has said. “She says the same thing in every interview.” (Argento has said that she and Bourdain had an open relationship.) He’s also noted that he wanted the film to be about Bourdain, not just his relationship with Argento, although that shadows much of the final portion.

Days before Bourdain’s death, Argento was photographed with French reporter Hugo Clément. In the doc, Steed recalls checking on Bourdain after the photos hit the papers, and the star mumbling “a little f–king discretion” in reference to Argento being so public with her infidelity.

“My take is that the thing that Tony was having the hardest time with was humiliation,” Neville has said. “He has taken himself so far out on the limb to be made to feel like a chump so publicly. That was the thing — not heartbreak. Humiliation.”

You may recall Asia Argento as a leading voice of the #MeToo accusations against Weinstein in 2017. Bourdain spent considerable time going to bat for her. It was revealed in 2018, a year after she stated she was raped by Weinstein, that she had to paid off her own accuser and buy his silence. NYT states that "Mr. Bourdain helped Ms. Argento navigate the matter". She was 37 and plied a guy who just turned 17 with alcohol before sexually assaulting him in a hotel room. She originally met him when playing his mother in a film she directed when he was a child actor:



He thought of her as his mentor and they had a sort of mother-son relationship. She even @'d him on ig saying "Waiting for my long lost son my love" while waiting to meet him before sexually assaulting him.

Summary:
Bourdain abandoned his wife and 9-year-old daughter and took up in an open relationship with a woman he knew was crazy. He spent the last 2 years of his life first defending and championing her as a rape victim, then finding out she was a rapist who preyed on an underage former child actor she had previously mentored, and helping her through that lawsuit against her. Watching her then cuck him publicly broke him and the humiliation made him an hero.

Look, I'm not sayin Weinstein isn't a rapist but...maybe they're not sending their best to his hotel room.

 

[blablabla]

bourdain was a anti brexit cuck no wonder he shagged crazy
marco pierre white still is great

 

[calystegia]

This thread, this thread, this thread. One of the best on the site. What a balancing act roller coaster ride. I’m torn between feeling horribly sorry for someone whose whole life got ripped out from under them for a fling that’ll last a few months and cackling at the latest idiot who happily walked off a cliff and can’t figure out why they’re falling, on almost every post.

What’s the line between “ouch! That hurts and was totally avoidable” and wishing they aimed higher when people intentionally shoot themselves in the foot? Are there people genuinely excited and hopeful about these arrangements when going into them? I feel like the happy ones are either naive and being lied to the worst, or have had their neurons blown out so badly that the only thing they can feel is a dull, empty rush like the rest of the cult members. And this really is a cult on the part of the most dedicated. I knew it was bad, but manipulative and insular hardly begins to describe those who have bought into it the most vocally. I’m almost glad that they do though, it makes them easier to avoid. I’ve quietly cut off anyone who floats the idea around me, and watching from the sidelines it really does only end in a few variations of the same situation. One of my faghag friends recently encouraged her boyfriend to open a Grindr again now that quarantine’s ending. I’ve been looking into purchasing one of those cinema popcorn machines.

There is no better example of cultivating sociopathy in yourself than “splitting love between multiple partners”. There’s no way around it, it lessens your ability to care about the people who matter – you can see this over and over again in this thread every time someone goes “welp, guess I’ll move on” about a relationship they’d invested years into because they want to sleep with someone they met a month ago. It's no different from normal cheaters, who all know they're hurting their partner - except the polys never feel real guilt, and the cheaters sometimes do. The fact that a month can outweigh years makes it so clear that these people cannot or will not form human bonds. The flippant, forced meme tiktoks. The slow and steady freezing out of anyone who won’t fold to poly. The overjoyed posts about a perfect and balanced life, a year before a major assault by one of the 'cule. Step on the rake again.

I still feel bad for the people who got betrayed, but so many of the others are getting exactly what they deserve. It’s unique among cults that it even eats its leaders! But you have to approach it as you would a cult, use whatever judgment that calls for.

 

[Adjacent Jerboa]

Dear lord, one of my close mutual friend couples has decided to go poly. The guy literally phrased it as “trying to build a harem.” It’s no surprise, since they’re both into that kind of anime. Apparently the guy already has a date with another prospective girl. I have the feeling the guy initiated it since the girl isn’t as interested in sex for various reasons. She phrased it as “being able to have female friends who are into the same guy.” Sounds like cope.

It primarily bugs be because they have a young child, and that might get confusing for the kid. Plus they made a big deal awhile back about breaking up, trying to date other people, and getting back together because they loved each other so much still. So I guess that meant nothing. In the end it’s none of my concern, but the fact it’s invaded my close friend group (though not the first time) is a little annoying. Maybe it will actually work out for them. Maybe not.

I only found this thread recently,

And maybe some one has mentioned this before, maybe not.

But there is actually a lot of research that suggests polyamorous relationships are terrible for children.

For starters, children are 40 times more likely to suffer physical and sexual abuse when a parent finds a new partner. And considering polys find a new partner every week or so with no regard for the effect on their children, its probably safe to say most of these kids are being abused. These people walk random people in off the street and give them the same privileges to their home and children as they would a parent or a long term partner. Pedophiles will target sexually promiscuous and insecure parents that they can manipulate in order to get closer to the child, and it is a frequent occurrence in sex child abuse cases that the pedophile got to the child through sleeping with their parent.

There is also the potential jealousy of partners vs children and also the likelihood of neglect of the children if the parents are dividing up their attention to multiple partners. A few years ago I saw a thread on reddit about a child of polyamorous parents, and basically what they described was neglect from their parents and abuse from strangers who lived and visited their homes. I haven't seen many threads like it since (i believe it was in r/offmychest) but the anecdote still hurts my heart to think about.