DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Boogiesfatasfuck]

Here's what I don't get about the autism vortex: if Phil's whales are so rich and willing to give Phil tons of money... Why does Phil beg so much?

No, really, think about it. If these people are willing to waste thousands upon thousands of dollars every year on Phil, why do they make Phil beg? Why wouldn't they just donate 200 on the first minute of the stream every stream?

That's one of the things that I don't really understand about these folks.

Do they, like Phil, enjoy watching others humiliating themselves, and so they want to see Phil beg?

Are they not really that rich and so they have to wait as much as possible to only donate what's necessary to make Phil reach the tips goal? Imagine budgeting and taking into consideration your DSP-related expenses, I'd probably kill myself.

Does Phil only ever beg that much when he hasn't prearranged some whale coming by to drop a considerable chunk of money?

I'll never get it tbh.

My theory is the chairs get their dopamine fix from saving his bacon. Dsp gets his from “paying his bills” and buying dumb shit. So the chairs get theirs in an equally retarded way.

the chairs probably have so little control over their own lives, or are just so miserable that making the piggy squeal then saving the day gets them the attention they crave.

They’re already unwell in the head for fucks knows what, so why wouldn’t they want to be “the hero” for dsp?

I’m sure most people would feel good helping someone who needs help. Well the pigvortex just attracts the most retarded motherfuckers alive to do the same thing, just in the piggyverse type of way.

 

[AckedyAckTheSecond]

For some of them, the highlight of their day really is having us "punching the air" huh? The only reason we love when the tips goal isn't hit, is that the manchild gets all pissy while openly shitting all over his audience.

 

[Mr. Brown]

Why the fuck does DSP care about Valve’s latest overpriced experimental hardware that will stop being manufactured in 4 months? He MUST have a surplus of cash right now.

It's amazing how much money you accumulate when you stop spending $5k a month on a mobile game.

 

[Hogan of the South]

I swear to god if he gets that shit instead of a normal pc, im gonna flip out. Thats the LAST thing he needs.

I can’t wait. A shiny new toy that he will abuse and forget about at the low low price of flushing 300 + dollars down the shitter. Keep doing you Phail, how this man isn’t an accountant I’ll never know. Missed his calling

 

[Forbidden Math]

For some of them, the highlight of their day really is having us "punching the air" huh? The only reason we love when the tips goal isn't hit, is that the manchild gets all pissy while openly shitting all over his audience.

Exactly, I don't care if he gets money, I just want to see him get mad and he mostly does that while deprived of money. That said he pisses himself off enough and it's easy to troll someone with such paper thin skin. His whole Xbox high has pretty much been ruined by the simple act of all of us saying "you bought that shit yourself". You can hear in his voice how much us knowing that and pointing it out pisses him off.

If the game is to watch DSP get mad and fail, then it's a game everyone wins.

 

[AckedyAckTheSecond]

You'd think someone with literally no life, no friends, no job, no hobbies, a retarded wife who is 3 IQ points away from drooling into her cereal for entire days, a family he ignores, an audience he ignores, dead channels, social media where absolutely no one interacts with him and no life experience aside of "playing video games" would run out of things to yap about 2 hours a day every day, with periodic "Ask the king" on top of that.

But then again, I guess "What's for dinner, Phil?" does have a slightly different answer each day.

 

[Gensou Hadou]

"Silent majority" and less than 300 people (less than 500 if we're counting DarkDave) is an oxymoron, Dave. Do you think everyone who watches you is smart or not-lazy enough to use Streamlink every time they want to watch you?

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

Here's an hours worth of effort, 45 minutes looking for the wojaks and 15 minutes fucking around in Paint

View attachment 2350602

Was originally gonna be the "Yes honey" meme but I got sidetracked and I realized I wasn't talented enough to pull it of in a decent way.

God, I can't get over how fucking funny the slip-up Phil had when he tried to say "silent majority" and instead said "vocal minority". This guy's own brain is a detractor.

 

[AckedyAckTheSecond]

It's amazing how much money you accumulate when you stop spending $5k a month on a mobile game.

But it's amazing how many different pictures of half-naked men in thongs you accumulate if you do.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

God, I can't get over how fucking funny the slip-up Phil had when he tried to say "silent majority" and instead said "vocal minority". This guy's own brain is a detractor.

It's a coping mechanism he's conjured up in his gin soaked brain of his. He must be getting so much support and viewership from a group of people that are completely silent, never engage with the community at all, and somehow manage to be his biggest fans right?

If they existed, he'd be hitting the goal every day and he'd never drop any schedule games because of it.

 

[UaineRunei]

For some of them, the highlight of their day really is having us "punching the air" huh? The only reason we love when the tips goal isn't hit, is that the manchild gets all pissy while openly shitting all over his audience.

Yep, and Snowkarl mentioning a 'Discord' means that the whales have a Discord for them, probably to jerk themselves when they waste money on Phil.

Unfortunately, we are not going to see Phil getting salty that much anymore. However, we're not spending a dime on it, so fuck it lol

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

I spent way too much time on this. I call it: 'It's Never Enough'
View attachment 2350164

EDIT: For my fellow farmers who didn't grow up with this book.

"If you give a pig an Xbox, he's going to ask for hot new releases. When you buy him a new game, he's probably going to rage quit it. When the hype is over, he'll ask for more games. Then he'll want $200 every stream to make sure he doesn't lose his house. When he misses the tips goal, he might notice his account is in the red. So he'll probably ask his viewers to step up. When he's finished playing games, he'll want a new wrestler. He'll start pulling. He might get carried away and spend every dollar in his account. He may even end up maxing out all his credit cards as well! When he's done, he'll probably want to drink some gin. You'll have to send him money for that too. He'll crawl into bed, make himself comfortable and send out a few tweets. He'll probably ask you to vote for the viewer's choice playthrough. So you'll register for his forums, and he'll ask you to nominate some games. When he looks at the nominations, he'll get so annoyed he'll choose what he wants. He'll ask you to vote in the poll. When the poll is finished, he'll delay the playthrough ... for months. Then he'll want you to support the playthrough. Which means he'll need ... $200 per stream. He'll upload the gameplay to DSP gaming. Looking at his YouTube views will remind him that ... his channel is dying. So ... he'll ask for hot new releases. And chances are if he asks for hot new releases, he's going to want a new console to go with them."

 

[Super Dent Head]

"The silent majority is there, obviously! It's just that you guys can't hear them but I can. I can hear them all the time, telling me how great I am and how much I help them. Sometimes, they get a little loud though. Sometimes they scream at me. Kat doesn't help me but I know she's still here. She hasn't been sitting inside of the closet for the past week!" Insert nervous goat laugh.

 

[Salubrious]

You'd think someone with literally no life, no friends, no job, no hobbies, a retarded wife who is 3 IQ points away from drooling into her cereal for entire days, a family he ignores, an audience he ignores, dead channels, social media where absolutely no one interacts with him and no life experience aside of "playing video games" would run out of things to yap about 2 hours a day every day, with periodic "Ask the king" on top of that.

But then again, I guess "What's for dinner, Phil?" does have a slightly different answer each day.

DSP talks a lot but absolutely nothing comes out. Outside of his daily prepared speech, he has absolutely nothing to say, which is why any time anyone asks him anything not related to streaming except maybe food, DSP gives a complete non-answer. Ask DSP his favorite anything, and he'll hem and haw. Ask him what shows he likes and he doesn't have time (even though he drunk tweets until 3 AM). He literally doesn't have a personality outside his favorite foods.

 

[Philly May Lyrus]

I just assume DSP will beg regardless, but you raise a good question as to why his fans don't just instantly hit the tips goal every stream. Traditional streamer I'd say they only donate if they're having fun, but with DSP it's supposed to be about supporting him (which is creepy and hilarious that he frames it like that).

I know the answer to this but still cannot believe he's gone Begimus Prime since being departnered by Twitch...he was starting to show his true self more too before leaving Twitch for Youtube. His diluted view of how fans are suppose to be is pure retardation and just sick. Like if you're a musician, fans buy tickets and t-shirts but not empty their bank accounts and transfer it to the musicians. His laziness and inability to get a new job is hilarious especially when it comes up and knocks him on his ass in a few years...That 10 year plan will be more like 5-6 year plan as Dave is on year 3 already. I'm sure he'll still stream too and just complain that some 19 yr old is his boss lol. What jahb do you peeps think he'll get when he has to work?

Edit: spelling

 

[MoonRocker]

DSP talks a lot but absolutely nothing comes out. Outside of his daily prepared speech, he has absolutely nothing to say, which is why any time anyone asks him anything not related to streaming except maybe food, DSP gives a complete non-answer. Ask DSP his favorite anything, and he'll hem and haw. Ask him what shows he likes and he doesn't have time (even though he drunk tweets until 3 AM). He literally doesn't have a personality outside his favorite foods.

Life of a hermit and NEET shut-in: when your cat jumping on your face while you’re sleeping and not being able to build an exercise bike and therefore having to return it become the most exciting shit that happens to you throughout the entire year, we call this miserable. Phil calls this success.

Hard to decide which group is right IMO.

 

[Philly May Lyrus]

"The silent majority is there, obviously! It's just that you guys can't hear them but I can. I can hear them all the time, telling me how great I am and how much I help them. Sometimes, they get a little loud though. Sometimes they scream at me. Kat doesn't help me but I know she's still here. She hasn't been sitting inside of the closet for the past week!" Insert nervous goat laugh.

It is sad how mentally unfit he is and really buys into it. The majority that stumble on his shit by accident or are trolling...not tons of fans. KG is a creeper so maybe he keeps clicking for them view counts. I would laugh so hard if it was only a handful that jack up his views.

 

[UaineRunei]

What a 210 members stream chat looks like:

 

[marlintan]

It's clearly an arm flexing to show off the bicep. Finally he has a muscle on his body!

I feel ya.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Ask DSP his favorite anything, and he'll hem and haw.

I wish I took note of this rant so I could pull up the vod, but he recently went on a fucking tirade about how he doesn't have 'favorites.' Only immature kids have a favorite movie, food, game, etc. Real mature adults realize the world's not black and white blah blah blah. I was genuinely gobsmacked.