Warning: autism
I have to ask, how does one begin to love oneself? How do they overcome the knowledge that they're just a clump of meat that exists to produce more clumps of meat carrying the originals genes? And that the only reason anyone would "love" them is to take advantage of their controlled resources for their own gains?
You accept that you're a walking bag of flesh and realize it means you can choose to do what you want. Sometimes it is to marry someone, sometimes it is to have a string of flings, sometimes it is to do what you want. You are born onto this earth with a body of flesh you don't choose, but you can choose what to do with it. Even if biologically our purpose is to pass on our genes, why does that make us successful? Ceaser didn't pass on his genes to a son and yet his name is burned into our brains, our culture, and our history. His policies changed the Romans forever. Is he a complete failure for not spanking his monkey into a woman properly?
If he is, why go with biology's standards of success? Are you too afraid to set your own?
Biology for most people doesn't determine our success because even if our body wants us to do one thing, we still feel empty without pursuing other things. Ask any depressed person with kids, married or not. Set your sights on things you want and that will help you love yourself more as the more you do for yourself, the more you will like yourself. Maybe it's practicing a skill every day (from origami to math), maybe it is working towards a goal (cleaning your house so your brain has peace and bugs don't invade your shit), but find some small pursuits and go for them. Choose to work for yourself.
Another topic: why are all people out to use you? Are there people you like? If you don't, why don't you like them? Do you trust no one, period, or were you hurt and won't trust people for a while?
I hang out with my friends because we make each other laugh & talk about interesting things together. It is a mutual give and take. If one of us only laughed at the other, we wouldn't be friends. Friendship is a form of love: me and my friends take care of each other because it feels good to help each other. Our bodies are programmed to do such - humans in groups are more successful than those without one. While we don't have to choose that as our initiative, it is a good thing to keep in mind on why we are programmed to want to help each other and hopefully get stuff in return. Helping others usually feels good because of it. Hell, sometimes we do it and we don't care if we get something back. What's the point of rescuing a spider from a bathtub and putting it outside? Do we get something back?
But I digress. Because we choose to help each other, our body releases a chemical that says "you did good have some happiness". This extends to ourselves, "you ate food, here's some happiness." If we go straight with biology, we should continue to do these things for ourselves and others because of it.
If you don't feel happiness from helping others, why? If you don't feel happiness from helping ourselves survive and gain success, why? That's the point where you go to a psych.
TL; DR: we aren't our biology, but if we are, we can choose to do things for ourselves because it feels good and helps us become more successful. Taking care of yourself will help you love yourself better, and taking steps to be better will help make you more successful. We don't have to have kids for our names to live on, nor does it matter since who gives a fuck about your name living on when you can enjoy yourself in the now? And we don't have to love each other, but it does help us survive if we help each other. We don't have to and we can still survive and be successful: look at Boris Johnson tossing his long time friend under the bus.
If nothing brings you pleasure and being friends with people seems pointless, see a shrink for help. Even if you want to keep distrusting people, they can give you tips on loving yourself and pointing out how to be more successful.
learn social etiquette and develop a personality solely to attract a mate? I'm gonna stick with getting rich, sounds a hell of a lot more feasible.
Wait, you don't already have a personality? How? You have sarcasm down already, I think you have more than you want to admit.
Why would I care if people call me on my birthday? It's just another day. And getting jobs is a totally different ballgame, all you need for that is to have a convincing fake smile and pretend like you actually care about whichever company you're working for.
People call each other on their birthday as a small day to say, "hey, glad you're here," and give you a bit of extra focus for being cool. Maybe you don't care about one specific day, that's fine, it is a little pointless, but do you enjoy friends talking to you at all? Friends talk to you because they like you. Maybe you don't do anything for them other than make them laugh or engage them in conversation, but that's fine, they do the same for you. Your personality influences how you interact with people. Even bitterness can turn into something engaging, but it doesn't keep people forever and you yourself don't enjoy feeling it (and taking care of yourself means helping to mitigate it and become more successful).
I'm curious: do you feel like most interactions you have with others are fake on their part or yours?
