Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

So Buzzfeed is always fun in a "I'm going to the human zoo!" sort of way, but for those of you who don't know, they have an entire section of the website (on equal footing in the nav bar alongside "TV & Movies", "Videos", and "News") dedicated just to compilations of affiliate links. These are often themed around a specific shop, brand, or topic.
Here's an example:
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Spoiler: More from the "article"

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This has lead me to learn of the existence of Toynk.com, which is a look into the mind of madness:
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Spoiler: Spergin' time

1. This is why milk comes in jugs and sugar comes in boxes or bags.
2. I'm an Obese Disney Adult and I need to know how to cook the deep fried garbage I gorge myself on at didney worl 24/7/365. Thanks for the beetus, walt!
3. Dude use post its or something or just text each other like an adult instead of blowing $9 on an ugly magnet. Also how the fuck do you not know if dishes are clean or dirty? If there's any doubt just wash it by hand. it takes 30 seconds to wash a dish lmao.
4. That tea set is fucking ugly. I have a tiny collection of cutesy vintage teaware and all of it is hand-painted bone china, this looks like they printed tacky wall decal graphics onto cheap mugs shaped like teacups.
5. I don't mind these as much, at least they're useful items and not utterly hideous, even if they're disney
6. Stemless wine glasses suck already. paying $17 for a single glass that shows how much of an adult toddler consoomer you are is even worse
7. Thought spending $10 for an ugly teacup was bad? Now you can spend $20 for a literal cheapass mug that combines both fugly corporate flat art AND disney cringe!

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Funko knockoff

I can not stop thinking how this shortens nicely into "fuckoff".
Funkos and fuckoffs.

 

[reGHew9348]

So Buzzfeed is always fun in a "I'm going to the human zoo!" sort of way, but for those of you who don't know, they have an entire section of the website (on equal footing in the nav bar alongside "TV & Movies", "Videos", and "News") dedicated just to compilations of affiliate links. These are often themed around a specific shop, brand, or topic.
Here's an example:
View attachment 2374048

Spoiler: More from the "article"

View attachment 2374056
View attachment 2374057
View attachment 2374058
View attachment 2374059

This has lead me to learn of the existence of Toynk.com, which is a look into the mind of madness:
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There's something about the fact that "Shop by Interest" leads to a dropdown that consists almost exclusively of brand names that triggers a response deep in my stomach. Brands are the only thing that matters :^)

 

[NoReturn]

There's something about the fact that "Shop by Interest" leads to a dropdown that consists almost exclusively of brand names that triggers a response deep in my stomach. Brands are the only thing that matters :^)

It's like one of those images that's supposed to show you what it looks like when you've had a stroke:

 

[The Curmudgeon]

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All these collector toys remind me how much I love to sculpt. I've also been learning how to make toys just because I think it's fun. Imagine if all the people wasting money on these things just learned how to make their own.

 

[NoReturn]

All these collector toys remind me how much I love to sculpt. I've also been learning how to make toys just because I think it's fun. Imagine if all the people wasting money on these things just learned how to make their own.

Is not just about the object, though. It's about the community. They're using objects as tickets into a group.

 

[The Curmudgeon]

Is not just about the object, though. It's about the community. They're using objects as tickets into a group.

Oh yeah. I forgot. It's not that they like the toys, merchandise, etc or the franchise or idea behind them, but they want to fit in. They want some form of belonging.

That's awful in more ways than I care to discuss.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

It's like one of those images that's supposed to show you what it looks like when you've had a stroke:
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Lmao half the clothes/outfits are obviously plus size, of course.

Also... car trash can, are you serious? Knowing the buzzfat demographic, I assume this is mostly used for fast food wrappers. Eating in the car is gross imo, but I do understand some people are busy and have no choice. Even then, is it really so damn hard to take your trash out of the car after you park and throw it in an actual trash can?

 

[NoReturn]

Lmao half the clothes/outfits are obviously plus size, of course.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

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“Plus-sized” women having to collect these types of dresses as a sense of belonging are doing more damage to the credibility of the “body positivity” image.

It’s a leecherous way of trying to prey on obese women that feel hopeless and need an excuse for a dopamine rush.

 

[UncleFuckAss]

Imagine getting excited over an action figure from a shitty 1990s childrens film starring Sinbad and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't usually get tripped up by the endless "soyboy", "consoomer", or "fall of western civilization" type memes that people post, but goddamn.

I like the movie but getting so excited you run down the aisle like like a child and start hyperventilating is a bit much.

So Buzzfeed is always fun in a "I'm going to the human zoo!" sort of way, but for those of you who don't know, they have an entire section of the website (on equal footing in the nav bar alongside "TV & Movies", "Videos", and "News") dedicated just to compilations of affiliate links. These are often themed around a specific shop, brand, or topic.
Here's an example:
View attachment 2374048

Spoiler: More from the "article"

View attachment 2374056
View attachment 2374057
View attachment 2374058
View attachment 2374059

This has lead me to learn of the existence of Toynk.com, which is a look into the mind of madness:
View attachment 2374068

I've always found those cookbooks to be the cheesiest consoomer tier type things out there. There really doesn't need to be Star Wars, Batman, Marvel, and Ninja Turtles cookbooks. I was curious once and thumbed through a Star Wars one once at a book store and it was filled with shit like Kylo Ren margaritas and Chewbacca sugar cookies.

 

[Newman's Lovechild]

Chewbacca sugar cookies.

Exactly like any other sugar cookies, the only differences being a tangential connection to the Star Wars logo, and more hairs in them.

 

[Vingle]

I've always found those cookbooks to be the cheesiest consoomer tier type things out there. There really doesn't need to be Star Wars, Batman, Marvel, and Ninja Turtles cookbooks.

True, but the Donald Duck cookbook I had when I was a child. It had a pretty bomb recipe for chocolate cake

 

[Moguro Fukuzou]

I've always found those cookbooks to be the cheesiest consoomer tier type things out there. There really doesn't need to be Star Wars, Batman, Marvel, and Ninja Turtles cookbooks. I was curious once and thumbed through a Star Wars one once at a book store and it was filled with shit like Kylo Ren margaritas and Chewbacca sugar cookies.

I don't mind cookbooks from shows where cooking is a pretty prominent part of the series or even if it's a cookbook for making authentic looking dishes from a fantasy/sci-fi series (bonus for including info about their time on set using/making it). A lot of those cookbooks listed are the boring "x-inspired dishes you can make at home!" that offer nothing interesting.

Probably a TMI moment, but the only one of those cookbooks I've ever gotten was the Feeding Hannibal cookbook that featured recipes used in the series (with animal subs for the human meat) with some lovely pictures. Holds a bunch of interesting tidbits about behind the scenes comments on each recipe as a nice extra.

 

[Pissmaster]

It's like one of those images that's supposed to show you what it looks like when you've had a stroke:
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what the fuck even is that

 

[Mr. Confederate Man]

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what the fuck even is that

Velcro probably

 

[NoReturn]

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what the fuck even is that

It's a fidget strip to reduce stress, of course!
No joke, they're called "Calm strips" and they're waterproof textured stickers for sticking on the back of your phone.

 

[Pissmaster]

It's a fidget strip to reduce stress, of course!
No joke, they're called "Calm strips" and they're waterproof textured stickers for sticking on the back of your phone.

I’ve never heard of those before.

Man, the whole fidget fad is the most brilliant way to sell off excess materials. It’s like some factory out there had way too many ball bearings sitting around, and someone came up with the idea to sell fidget spinners, and then everyone started marketing random bullshit they had sitting around as fidget toys to reduce stress.

 

[Catloaf]

I too had a lolcow of a friend (I cut him off) who is a consoomer too. He had a mountain of amiibos (double to have one boxed and another unboxed). spent thousands on Nintendo and other vidya collectables. I'd only seen him wearing 3 shirts. he lives with his obese mom and he's a NEET sperg in his 30s. funny thing is that when I called him on his habits, he called me judgemental and sperged and cried. ... Man

 

[Pissmaster]

I too had a lolcow of a friend (I cut him off) who is a consoomer too. He had a mountain of amiibos (double to have one boxed and another unboxed). spent thousands on Nintendo and other vidya collectables and I'd only seen him wearing 3 shirts and he lives with his obese mom and he's a NEET sperg in his 30s. funny thing is that when I called him on his habits, he called me judgemental and sperged and cried. ... Man

If you ever get the chance, ask him if he resents having to go and get whatever new Nintendo thing's being released ASAP. Ask him if he ever feels like a slave to Nintendo. Even if you get totally negative answers, you've still planted that seed in his head, and hopefully, someday, it'll sprout and he'll come to realize what he's doing.