Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories

[DoomsdayElite]

Recently, a couple of normies on a park bench discussing the "delta variant".

 

[Captain Syrup]

Recently, a couple of normies on a park bench discussing the "delta variant".

You just reminded me of something: the always-reliable Manhattan Mini-Storage Storage ads. Of all the brands who do hyper-targeted, NYC in-jokes, they are the worst. They had one billboard promising enough room “to store all of Donald’s unsold steak.” #FellowNewYorkers

That’s their shtick. Anyway, they had one on the subway years ago which was like, “Enuff room to fit Dick Cheney”. I see a youngish Jewish couple standing right next to it. As weird as it sounds, the girl segues into complaining about the "anti-Semitic" NYT. They ran an ad criticizing the Promised Land.

Ah, Zionists.

 

[Say What Now?]

When I was in highschool we used to always joke about this autistic kid named Kyle. During his off hours and passing periods, he would roam the halls of the school with some neon orange jacket that said something like “SECURITY MONITOR” on it, even though he had no more authority then a common student would. This led to him receiving the nickname “Deputy Kyle.”

One day when I was a freshman, my sister had a birthday party and for whatever reason she invited the tard. I didn’t know anything about him back then, but one of my friends that was over recognized him as deputy Kyle. Anyways me and my friends were messing around shooting each other with airsoft guns. Kyle comes storming up the stairs to yell at me and my friends. I remember him saying “THIS ISN’T YOUR HOUSE CALM DOWN!” He then tried to snatch my friends airsoft gun, so I promptly shot him in the cheek. He started crying and went to snitch to my mom. Mom didn’t care and agreed he was being a little bitch.

Did you go to school with Evangelist Robert L McKim?

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/evangelist-dr-robert-mckim-sr.18655/

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

Got a new one from just under an hour ago. So currently I work in a massive warehouse and frequently have to ride a forklift to get to one side of the building to the other in a reasonable time. So I park my forklift in the usual spot and get off then go about my day eventually walking clear across the building where I begin to clean up a little. Suddenly this black guy who’s only job it is to sit in a forklift and move things off of a conveyer belt comes barreling into the area on his forklift and tells me I have to move my forklift for him despite the fact that the keys were still in it and he could have easily gotten of his forklift and moved the other one. So I simply reply “No.” very calmly and he proceeds to chimp out and start screaming at me. So I walk away and go to the bathroom. I come out after finishing my business and resume cleaning when here he comes again from the other side of the building yelling about how I need to move the forklift for him. So I calmly explain to him that he has now driven all the way across this massive building twice wasting both my time and his when he could simply move the forklift himself. He continues to chimp out and I walk away again dismissively. I don’t respect people who choose to act like entitled children.


Update: This nigga thinks he’s Batman. So I went over to talk to him and try to clear the air so to speak. He starts talking about how he wears a mask like Batman pretending to be Bruce Wayne when really he’s killed three dudes and he’s the son of some drug kingpin or some bullshit. Among his claims were having shot a man to death with a platinum cased tommy gun, killed a guy with peanut butter and brown recluse spiders, and shanking his stepdad. He also apparently owns five cars but lives in a duplex.

 

[NerdShamer]

Got a new one from just under an hour ago. So currently I work in a massive warehouse and frequently have to ride a forklift to get to one side of the building to the other in a reasonable time. So I park my forklift in the usual spot and get off then go about my day eventually walking clear across the building where I begin to clean up a little. Suddenly this black guy who’s only job it is to sit in a forklift and move things off of a conveyer belt comes barreling into the area on his forklift and tells me I have to move my forklift for him despite the fact that the keys were still in it and he could have easily gotten of his forklift and moved the other one. So I simply reply “No.” very calmly and he proceeds to chimp out and start screaming at me. So I walk away and go to the bathroom. I come out after finishing my business and resume cleaning when here he comes again from the other side of the building yelling about how I need to move the forklift for him. So I calmly explain to him that he has now driven all the way across this massive building twice wasting both my time and his when he could simply move the forklift himself. He continues to chimp out and I walk away again dismissively. I don’t respect people who choose to act like entitled children.


Update: This nigga thinks he’s Batman. So I went over to talk to him and try to clear the air so to speak. He starts talking about how he wears a mask like Batman pretending to be Bruce Wayne when really he’s killed three dudes and he’s the son of some drug kingpin or some bullshit. Among his claims were having shot a man to death with a platinum cased tommy gun, killed a guy with peanut butter and brown recluse spiders, and shanking his stepdad. He also apparently owns five cars but lives in a duplex.

Dude, your forklift is blocking his secret entrance to his Batcave! Tell him to use the firepole behind the bookcases in his mansion, next time.

 

[Captain Syrup]

People having arguments with themselves.

Spend enough time in low-income areas, and you'll see it happen. Usually it's a person of a certain age. Somebody else bumped into their shoulder, or almost hit them with their car. He/she will walk a few steps, turn back around, and yell obscenities in the direction of their interloper, who is long gone. Repeat.

I saw it happen again yesterday. I could not take my eyes off that old man: he must have been yelling his head off for ten minutes.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Some dumb jogger misdialed and called me yesterday morning. He starts out sounding happy saying “hey gramma how ya been!” I wasn’t rude, all I did was say “think you have the wrong number man” and he immediately goes into chimpout mode “fuck you too then, bitch!” and hangs up.

how fucking brain damaged do you have to be to act like that over your own fuck up like it’s my fault you’re too retarded to know your grandmother’s number?

 

[Realistic Elephant]

Some dumb jogger misdialed and called me yesterday morning. He starts out sounding happy saying “hey gramma how ya been!” I wasn’t rude, all I did was say “think you have the wrong number man” and he immediately goes into chimpout mode “fuck you too then, bitch!” and hangs up.

how fucking brain damaged do you have to be to act like that over your own fuck up like it’s my fault you’re too retarded to know your grandmother’s number?

To be fair, blacks blaming other people for their fuckups is kind of the "in thing" right now.

I'm a third generation Polish/Irish American whose ancestors immigrated here in the 1920s. My great-grandparents came from two countries whose entire history since the early Middle Ages has basically been one of being conquered, enslaved and literally exterminated by others.

But since I'm white that makes me an oppressor.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

I remember back in 2006 there was this severely autistic child at my school who created his own language based around deriving the English language into weird alien shit. Probably a variation of retarded English that predated the ones with Custom Pronouns and Genders.

 

[Realistic Elephant]

I remember back in 2006 there was this severely autistic child at my school who created his own language based around deriving the English language into weird alien shit. Probably a variation of retarded English that predated the ones with Custom Pronouns and Genders.

On the other hand, he/she could have been an autistic Tolkien.

Autists could probably corner the conlang market if they focused on that rather than writing Bible-length articles on Sonic the Hedgehog and Japanese cartoons.

 

[Morch Ponkey]

I was at the store and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror of the fitting room

 

[Some Badger]

Was waiting for a bus back to the apartment I was living in at the time and this guy about my age was in front of me in line talking his dad's ear off about Waluigi, and continued to do so for much of the bus ride. He was holding two bright yellow shopping bags from the Lego store. Dad was ignoring his manchild son and desperately looked like he wanted to off himself.

Bonus: in my first year of college there was this one super sped who would scream "GET SOME" really loudly in the dining hall and treated that like his catchphrase and didn't seem to realize the context of what he was shouting. He was a hanger-on for the cheerleading squad who probably kept him around out of a mix of pity and morbid fascination.

 

[Cool Username]

When I worked in a motel, my coworker was a really sweet lady who used to bring her teenager son with her from time to time. According to her, he had autism and that's why she had to keep an eye on him.
Well, the boy was sweet as her and never bothered me. Until one day, when he came to the motel with his mom and looked very grumpy. The mother told him to sit down and do his homework, and apparently he didn't like that. We were working when he exclaimed aloud, "Oh, fuck off!"
The mom scolded him and took him outside of the room. I continued working when I heard the kid screaming at the top of his lungs. I came outside to see what was going on, and the boy was at the top of a tree, hugging a branch and hollering like a monkey.
I was told to go back to work while the mom and the other employees called an ambulance because they didn't know what to do. A moment later, the paramedics or something arrived, took the boy down, sedated him and tied him down with belts to the gurney.
I will never forget the image of the boy lying down on the gurney with those belts around him. At that moment I thought it was a bit too cruel for the kid, but now I understand they did it for his safety.
The mom, sweet as always, told me before leaving with her son, "I'm sorry but you'll have to continue without me."

 

[Broseph]

Back when I was in high school there was this obnoxious kid a couple grades above me who would always loudly say "penises and vaginas" as he was walking down the hall. Him and his dumbass brother later got expelled because they got caught stealing a teacher's gradebook and hiding it in their car.

 

[Zirnwyb]

Years back, when I was still in high school, my freshman year English teacher had us bring in song lyrics for an assignment on poetry if I recall correctly. It was something about how songs are poetry but in sung form or some shit like that. Now there was a girl in my class, we'll call her Amber since that was what her name was, who was a fucking total weeb and sperged out about anime at any chance she could get if anyone made the choice to speak to her. Amber was cockeyed, wore coke bottle glasses, and had the most nasally voice I'd ever heard on a chick before. No one wanted to ever speak with her or befriend her because of her anime sperg outs.

The day of the assignment the dumbass decides to bring in lyrics for an anime opening. The song happened to be the opening for Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Inner Universe by Origa. When it came to be her turn to speak about her song lyrics she really couldn't given that the song isn't even fully in English. She ends up saying the song is in Japanese and just spews out some made up bullshit so I pipe up and say "It's actually in Russian, Latin, and English." since I am moderate weeb trash and fucking love Ghost in the Shell. This caused Amber to fucking chimp out and start screaming at the top of her lungs at me that I was wrong and knew nothing about the show or the music. I kinda just sat there like "What the fuck is happening" while my teacher started screaming at Amber to calm down or she'd call one of the APs to come get her. The class was laughing at her while she chimped the fuck out, jumping up and down at one point like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, while I was still sitting there like "WAT" over that whole fucking mess. The teacher eventually called an AP to get her and they had to drag her ass out because she did not want to leave and wanted to yell some more about how I was wrong.

I ended up getting a lecture from my teacher how I shouldn't provoke people like that by telling them they're wrong about something. Still chaps my damn ass to this day because I did nothing wrong. Won't lie, though, I still occasionally think of Amber and her massive chimp out, laugh my ass off, and wonder what the hell she's up to now.

 

[Broseph]

I still occasionally think of Amber and her massive chimp out, laugh my ass off, and wonder what the hell she's up to now.

She's probably sperging out about people's MHA ships.

 

[Broseph]

One of the more autistic things I witnessed IRL happened a couple months ago when I was looking at apartments with my friend, in which his mom was helping us find a place that we could afford and hopefully still be in a decent area, only for my "friend" to change his mind at the last minute (which is something he does very often) and decide that he doesn't want to live in an apartment anymore because he found this hippy vegan farm sanctuary type place way out in bumfuck nowhere and he's been trying to move out there, but he told me that I was "more than welcome to join him in that".

 

[DoomsdayElite]

Earlier today, I saw a guy pull down his face mask (outside, of course, these fucking retards) to sneeze, wipe his nose with the mask, and then put it back on.

 

[NerdShamer]

and decide that he doesn't want to live in an apartment anymore because he found this hippy vegan farm sanctuary type place way out in bumfuck nowhere and he's been trying to move out there, but he told me that I was "more than welcome to join him in that".

Probably saw Kevin Gibes' ad for his enslaved harem ranch.

 

[purple mattress]

few years ago on halloween, my friend was driving us to work and I saw some dude in some naurto cosplay on the street. like that big black school shooter coat with a white wig and a headband, we took a picture, laughed. whatever
a year or two later i got into playing d&d, i showed the guy who game mastered the picture. "oh, thats me" he says. "no way" i said back. and he started rambling about how it was his oc and he made the costume himself. really autistic sounding oc but i've never watched nautro.
oh yeah he's a troon now