Now that Chris-Chan's story is coming to a conclusion, who/what should be in the movie about his life?

philip seymour hoffman as chris, but since he’s dead i have no idea who else it could be.

susan sarandon as barb.

clint eastwood as bob.
 
So, with The Chris Chan Show reaching what seems to be its final season, it seems inevitable that someone will pick up his life story and turn it into a movie. The internet will probably get to it first, but I can easily see an actual studio picking it up and making a crummy made for TV movie, and possibly remaking it into a big budget film in a few years or so.

Hell, there will probably be several movies made about him. I can see at least two likely ways a film about Chris could go:
1. An apologetic film made by social justice warriors that paints Chris as a sympathetic figure driven to madness by evil trolls.
2. A movie that acts as a cautionary tale of one man's decent into madness, driven entirely by his own poor choices while interacting with trolls.
Chances are, both versions of his story will be made eventually.

Given the vast cast of characters in Chris's story, what actors should be cast in the various roles, like Bob, Clyde Cash, Mary Lee Walsh, or the voice of Sonichu? Maybe Null should have a cameo?
And which events or Sagas are the most important for telling his story?
Obviously, we need Ryan Reynolds to play Liquid Chris, The Rock to play that game store owner guy (we need a POC in the movie, and I like The Rock) and, now wait hear me out on this one, a cameo of Bill Murray as the maced game stop employee.

Should we have Sonichu appear as like a "who framed Roger Rabbit" typed thing?
 
  • Agree
Reactions: The Lizard Queen
I don't get why people are saying "this is the end of the Chris Chan story", if anything this is the beginning of a new, exciting saga, Will he face criminal charges? Will he made homeless or put in a group home? How will he deal with these challenges? Tons of things to talk about, No, the Chris Chan story doesn't end until he dies
 
  • Agree
Reactions: José Mourinho
Obviously, we need Ryan Reynolds to play Liquid Chris, The Rock to play that game store owner guy (we need a POC in the movie, and I like The Rock) and, now wait hear me out on this one, a cameo of Bill Murray as the maced game stop employee.

Should we have Sonichu appear as like a "who framed Roger Rabbit" typed thing?
Naturally Sonichu must exist within the context of the movie, since Chris thinks his characters are real, they must appear, if only to Chris himself.
But, I pity the poor 3D artist who will have to make a semi-accurate version of Chris's sonichu art.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dr. Silvestrechu
I always thought there would be some awesome Napoleon Dynamite/Little Miss Sunshine type quirky indie film, with Chris' trip to the airport to meet Myamoto as the centrepoint - I would have had him Bob and Barb all sat there in Mario hats (or a fictional stand in) on the poster and trailer, with the conclusion being that con appearance where everybody adored him. Someone like Jonah Hill (in "Cyrus" mode") as Chris. But now I don't wanna see a Chris movie. It's too dark. The tonal lurch from quirky humor to dark end ...I dunno, maybe it would be like Goodfellas or something.

EDIT - it never even occured to me to have an animated Sonichu. I always just imagined him talking to his sculptures/medals. But yeah that's a masterstroke! American Splendor is a pretty good idea of how it would be done.
 
dye this thing and make it play sonichu. 9FCCF62E-D512-4B1C-9752-361A698B56A5.jpeg
Also: patricia Arquette as barb.
Sam Hyde as Chris.
 
Last edited:
Nicolas Cage would be great as Chris. John Travolta is pretty obvious choice as Ian Brandon Anderson.
 
I don't get why people are saying "this is the end of the Chris Chan story", if anything this is the beginning of a new, exciting saga, Will he face criminal charges? Will he made homeless or put in a group home? How will he deal with these challenges? Tons of things to talk about, No, the Chris Chan story doesn't end until he dies
It's because this is essentially the beginning of the end for Chris unless he gets a slap on the wrist and nothing changes a month later beyond any respect for him being lower than before.

Really no one knows what the fuck will happen.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: José Mourinho
Donovan Scott as The Narrator
Christopher Randolph as young adult Chris
Colin Hanks as Chris's inner voice
Louie Anderson as Old Chris
Craig T Nelson as Bob
Faye Dunaway as Barb
Eldon Hansen as Cole
Christina Ricci as Megan
Jason Sudekis as Michael Snyder
Rebecca De Mornay as Troll Girlfriend #1
Traci Lords as Troll Girlfriend #2
Kevin Conroy as Sonichu
Michelle Pfeiffer as Rosechu
Jaleel White, Ryan Drummond, Jason Douglas, and Roger Craig Smith as The Sonics
Meryl Streep as Stupid Nun
Patrick Fugit as young Bob
Lilli Reinhart as young Barb
Maya Hawke as Bob's 1950s date
Jack Huston as bartender
Lily Tomlin as the teacher
Vincent Karthizer as Roy the lawyer
Awkwafina as Annoying Fan
Quentin Tarantino, Vivica A Fox, Lucy Liu, and Wyatt Russell as Gamestop Employees
Andy Milanakis as voice of Bluespike
Helena Bonham Carter as voice of possessed medallion
Steve Buscemi as Branchland firefighter
Tara Strong as herself
Chris's car voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart

Music by Mark Mothersburgh
Voocaroo Chris Singing by Andy Gibb and Kate Bush
 
I can see it being turned into a low budget loosely inspired horror film in a few years. The type of film that has a 3.4 imdb rating and a ton of reviews pointing out everything that is wrong with it and how bad it is but you watch anyway just because it’s the only proper media representation of the story out there. The movie will start so-so and then go completely off the rails as they add in a bunch of unnecessary stuff and get basic facts wrong. Someone on tumblr will make a gif of the only remotely ok part of it and then it will be completely forgotten about.
 
Last edited:
Back