Now that Chris-Chan's story is coming to a conclusion, who/what should be in the movie about his life?

Null as Chris
Hilary Clinton as Barb
Jack Scalfani as Bob
 
The Lizard Queen said:
I'd be happy to star as Chris, but I'd have to shave my neckbeard off, and lose about 100 pounds to match his slender girlish figure.

Anyway, I'd like to see someone like Christopher Nolan or Guillermo del Toro direct it, as you'd need someone like them to accurately represent the surreal world that Chris lives in, being something between reality and mind-numbing fantasy. If you don't have the sensation that you're tripping balls while watching it, it's not an accurate representation of Chris's life.
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Hell, why fuck around? Just bust Alejandro Jodorowsky's ass out of whatever crazy shit he's doing now to write and direct it. He'd have no trouble with the pants-shitting and the incest and the all-around crazy of Chris's life, it would be completely un-understandable by normies and would just gross them out as much as The Holy Mountain or El Topo ever did.
 
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I understand that Kevin Spacey can pull of a convincing rapist impression - with a bit of makeup could certainly play Chris.

Barb - meryl streep. Poor woman.

Bob - I would have suggested Christopher Plummer for that touch of class. Unfortunately now deceased.
 
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Michael Cera would be perfect in a voice over role as Bluespike since he already sounds like a 12 year old boy trying to sound like a girl.
 
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Mads Mikkelsen as Chris; young, old and troon. I could give a damn who else the movie is made with but give us a serious actor.
 
BurningPewter said:
I always thought there would be some awesome Napoleon Dynamite/Little Miss Sunshine type quirky indie film, with Chris' trip to the airport to meet Myamoto as the centrepoint - I would have had him Bob and Barb all sat there in Mario hats (or a fictional stand in) on the poster and trailer, with the conclusion being that con appearance where everybody adored him. Someone like Jonah Hill (in "Cyrus" mode") as Chris. But now I don't wanna see a Chris movie. It's too dark. The tonal lurch from quirky humor to dark end ...I dunno, maybe it would be like Goodfellas or something.

EDIT - it never even occured to me to have an animated Sonichu. I always just imagined him talking to his sculptures/medals. But yeah that's a masterstroke! American Splendor is a pretty good idea of how it would be done.
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A Chris Chan adaptation of Waiting for Gadot. Meeting with Miyamoto.
 
The Lizard Queen said:
I'd be happy to star as Chris, but I'd have to shave my neckbeard off, and lose about 100 pounds to match his slender girlish figure.

Anyway, I'd like to see someone like Christopher Nolan or Guillermo del Toro direct it, as you'd need someone like them to accurately represent the surreal world that Chris lives in, being something between reality and mind-numbing fantasy. If you don't have the sensation that you're tripping balls while watching it, it's not an accurate representation of Chris's life.
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Seconding Del Toro. I'd pay double the entrance fee to see Sonichu's Labyrinth.
 
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Will Smith as Chris, Alfonso Ribiero as Barb and uncle Phil as Bob. The English butler guy can be Megan. They should also replace Barb after the first season with a different actor.

Here’s the theme song that plays every 5 mins:

Iiiiiiiin Western Virginia born and raised,
I was autistic and admitted to fiddling my mom.

Cut to black, cue credits, sit ubu sit.
 
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If we're going for entertainment over autheticity

Steve buscemi as null, null will be narrator goodfellas style
Charles dance as Bob chandler
Meryl streep as chris mom
brad dorf as classic chris
Natelie portman as tomgirl chris
Peter cullen as godbear
vin deasel as clyde cash
alan rickman-as mary lee walsh
Megan is lindsey ellis.
Jennifer tilly as an amalgation of the girlfriends for brevity.
 
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Just make a sequel to the Accountant. Make it about the Gotti Family going after him, with the main Gotti being a blatant stand-in for Clyde Cash. He could easily be played by one of those Jersey Shore guidos.

If nothing else, it'll be fucking hilarious.
 
Crass_and_Champ said:
James Franco or Jared Leto, who better to play an insufferable autist than a richer, thinner insufferable autist?
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Shia LeBoeuf. And he goes full method.

Jennifer Tilly as Barb.
 
If going by actors or even who to direct this hell of a ride I say Christopher Nolan as this would be a drama and slice of life. For soundtrack of the movie I rather do something similar to the theory of everything or hachi a dog tale.
 
The Lizard Queen said:
So, with The Chris Chan Show reaching what seems to be its final season, it seems inevitable that someone will pick up his life story and turn it into a movie. The internet will probably get to it first, but I can easily see an actual studio picking it up and making a crummy made for TV movie, and possibly remaking it into a big budget film in a few years or so.

Hell, there will probably be several movies made about him. I can see at least two likely ways a film about Chris could go:
1. An apologetic film made by social justice warriors that paints Chris as a sympathetic figure driven to madness by evil trolls.
2. A movie that acts as a cautionary tale of one man's decent into madness, driven entirely by his own poor choices while interacting with trolls.
Chances are, both versions of his story will be made eventually.

Given the vast cast of characters in Chris's story, what actors should be cast in the various roles, like Bob, Clyde Cash, Mary Lee Walsh, or the voice of Sonichu? Maybe Null should have a cameo?
And which events or Sagas are the most important for telling his story?
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Can't we just enjoy Chris' demise for a bit?

Yeah it's been a wild ride-but I really don't think it's suitable for movie treatment. I mean--you'd need at least a trilogy or why bother--and who the hell is going to sit through that?

Now The Saga of Stone Man Warrior--THAT's a blockbuster waiting to happen. Getting a love interest spliced in there is going to be tricky--but the results will be well worth it.
 
Lol fucking nobody. Let's face it, any movie about cwc would be a sympathetic, ahistorical propaganda piece about how evil alt-right internet trolls funded by Russia helped corrupt and ruin a perfectly sweet and innocent neuroatypical uwu trans gorl because they want to eliminate "differently abled" and LGBTATYKTXIRAJRDIPPCJTDYD Folxxxxx
 
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