For those that have been wondering why I've kept comparing
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic to
Barney & Friends all the time, here's why. I've started out as a quite decent kid in high school. I had an IEP (Individual Education Plan), meaning I had access to an area where there would be computers for those that needed them. This area was one of three connected rooms that special ed kids could use during their free periods. One of these kids, Ben, 19 years old (now 21), would go onto the computers and look up Barney videos (more specifically, trailers for Barney videos on IMDB). Knowing my 15-year-old self, I'd go on the computer next to him searching up videos of
Cannibal Corpse as an act of rebellion (for lack of a better word). It was wonderful knowing that I would never be this guy. It wasn't until December 2010 when a commentary on
this video
popped up, basically making me realize why I even hated Barney to begin with. It was because of the EXTREME pandering to the 2-3 year old demographic and only teaching basic stuff like colors and shapes. Thus, I knew I would NEVER be this guy. Then came January 2011, when
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic came to Canada. Some of the people who were on the MLP thread like me know that MLP came on right after Barney, so I was to dismiss it as girly, kindergartener bullshit. A few months later, I gave the show a chance, and started to watch it and record the episodes to DVD. This, however, led me to emotional and mental conflicts, knowing that I wasn't any better than the Barney fans mainly due to the scheduling and how I would come in danger with being called a retard because of its relations. I've tried to stay low about it at school and it's haunted me since then. Still, I've kept that as a minor nuisance and still watched it. Starting September 2011, my interest in MLP began to diminish, mainly because the episodes weren't coming to Canada and I needed my fix without having to search up episodes. However, by January 2012, the shit hit the fan. I discovered a user by the name of
Supergodzilla12, a ranter who liked BOTH MLP AND Barney. At this point, I could not contain all my WHY. I now find myself being really depressed, mainly because I think I'm starting to deteriorate back to my former self, a shell of what I was. I now start to hate MLP again and cringe whenever I see clips of the show. I cringe because I don't want to be a brony, automatically associating myself with the Barney fandom because of this. However, at the same time, I still want to see what is happening with MLP in case I miss out on some new meme that comes around. I am now not any better than Ben because of this connection. Now, I'm starting to listen to
Cannibal Corpse more than ever to try and restore my maturity. Now the only thing I want in life is not to be that guy. I've had dreams of drowning those I hate in Lake Huron (inspired by
Opeth's Deliverance) as a way of expressing my hate, and have started watching Saw movies endlessly as it is one of the only things that really pleases me now. I troll 4chan about this problem, but no-one gives a crap. Silent screams are the worst. My sig is from Cannibal Corpse's Beyond The Cemetery, thus describing my thoughts on this. All I can say is.. Help me before I become the person I hate.
