Chris has been arrested

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Pringles Can said:
The prison system has never had to deal with someone like chris. I feel so bad for the cellmate who has to hear about the merge. Either he is gonna get his ass kicked day 1, or people are gonna leave him alone and let him be the prison idiot who they all laugh at.
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Do you really think the american prison system, infamous for how many people are in it, has never dealt with an extreme autist before? Just because Chris has the unfortunate distinction of being both funny and internet famous doesn't mean there aren't other extreme autists out in the wild. Believe me, I've dealt with them. They're usually just depressing and exhausting to be around.

Chris is probably so afflicted in the head at this point that he's going to wind up either in isolation or in some kind of psych ward.
 
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Learned Hand said:
My prediction, regardless of any additional charges:

Chris will get assigned a public defender, because he cannot afford an attorney that would be willing to take this case. It's an ugly sort of defense and one that would require a considerable amount of work.

That public defender will read 2-3 pages of the charging documents, then tell Chris to plead guilty, and take whatever deal might be offered.

Barring nothing explosive that we do not yet know about, Chris will likely end up in a minimum security type mental/clinical care prison facility.

I believe that would be a good thing, as it gives him a roof over his head, food, and away from the internet. Especially because what likely awaits him after is a spiral into homelessness and a deteriorating mental health situation.
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The State is not going to be his caretaker. At most he's going to get a couple years and then will be thrown out on his ass.
 
Pringles Can said:
The prison system has never had to deal with someone like chris. I feel so bad for the cellmate who has to hear about the merge. Either he is gonna get his ass kicked day 1, or people are gonna leave him alone and let him be the prison idiot who they all laugh at.
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You really think they'll put Chris in gen pop?
 
We should start a vote for who Chris' roommate should be. I vote this guy.
 

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Pringles Can said:
The prison system has never had to deal with someone like chris. I feel so bad for the cellmate who has to hear about the merge. Either he is gonna get his ass kicked day 1, or people are gonna leave him alone and let him be the prison idiot who they all laugh at.
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I have heard of people being beaten in prision just because they smell bad, Chris is fucked. Even outside of gen pop someone woud fuck with him.
 
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ForgedBlades said:
I think it's optomisitc to assume Chris is being his usual sped self right now. My money is on reality actually sinking in this time and that he's curled up in a ball on his jail mattress trying to hide the fact he's crying.
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Just by the mugshot, it appears that Chris is still under the merge euphoria. He might be like that for a few days.
 
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Cripplebits said:
Maybe it's because he's considered her guardian after she was deemed senile in the evaluation?
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Can we stop sperging about the charge? Obviously some police clerk just clicked whichever drop-down option that seemed closest when inputting the booking info. This isn't the final charge anyways, the real one with specifics will be given after the first arraignment.
 
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YachieKicchou said:
It's not uncommon for a public defender to put in some real effort. Your public defender keeps in contact with you and informs you of your options. You can even suggest things and they'll take it into account. I was wrongfully convicted of something once and my public defender was really good about it and went all out for me and saved my ass. There are good ones out there, it just depends entirely on who Chris pulls and whether or not he pisses them off/alienates them too much.
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TMI and very gay, but you're right about the public at large dismissing public defenders as incompetents, when they arw actually good at their jobs. Unless you are dead to rights guilty, or completely fucking retarded (like Chris) a public defender will probably be better for the average Joe in the long run. They are going to have one motherfucker of a time with Chris though, no pun intended....
 
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Trombonista said:
I have lost count of how many "I was here"/"posting in epic thread" posts I have deleted. Be grateful I didn't threadban any of you.
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Do not worry my global janny friend once Chris gets inactive tag, you don't have to suffer tsunami of newfags from reddit.

Even most dense of the motherfuckers will realize that there is nothing epic in posting about Time magazine's failure of the year

The pain will soon be over my friend, after this cow gets euthanized, you only have your regular retards to wrangle, like me for instance
 
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