POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

[Sithis]

Prepare yourself for newfag facebook boomers

Why can't shit like this ever happen when there's something to really fuck with them, like the giant moon last fall?

 

[LolRaccoon]

Orange is the new Classic

 

[GypsyBard]

Of Chris or Junior?

Chris in the courtroom

 

[Xenarthran]

Netflix has a pilot for the spin off series we all are patiently waiting for.

View attachment 2403813

Except this time he's not getting away with shit. It's the real fucking deal now.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I hope it goes to trial and doesn’t plead out. Think of the lolcow roundup of witnesses and character references. Josh and Ethan could even weigh-in in front of a real judge!

 

[StraightShooter2]

The pending charges might not be public, so we can only speculate right now

Honestly, this is why being a Brony should just be a capital offense, and it would save police a lot of trouble.

 

[RVNX]

So are we expecting Null to give information on the $750 that Chris stole from Barb since he manages Chris email?

Lurk more, he already spent them yesterday.

 

[MeltedTempo]

Pleading insanity isn't the cut-and-dry defense that you think it is. Plenty of autists and retards go to REAL prison, despite being recognized brainlets by the state. It's about whether or not the defendant was cognizant at the time of the crime, meaning were they aware of their actions and lucid when the crime was committed? In this case the answer appears to be yes, Chris was fully aware that he was forcing himself on Barb and then went on to brag about it. That doesn't sound like a slamdunk insanity plea to me.

Yeah, Chris is crazy but not legally crazy. He understands the difference between right and wrong. He took steps to cover up his crime (so, so, so poorly). That all looks like a full meal for prosecutors.

 

[Terrifik]

So are we expecting Null to give information on the $750 that Chris stole from Barb since he manages Chris email?

most likely he will be suponead to court to testify for the stole money.
Which will lead to final battle of DIo VS Jotaro.
NULL vs The Gunt

 

[DefinitelyNotABot]

Awesome. I'm more interested now on whether anyone will find a way to stream the trial? Shit would be hilarious.

 

[Andrew Neiman]

If this does go to trial, I wonder if there will be detailed news coverage of the trial. You know -- day-by-day coverage rather than just an article when proceedings begin and then another article once a verdict and sentencing is determined.

 

[Gimmick Account]

Policemans please free Chris and give him a gun

 

[StraightShooter2]

Where can I see those "pending charges" list? There's nothing like that on the Henrico sheriff website.

So far, the only posted charge is the incest charge he was booked on. It will probably be awhile for new charges to be posted.

Also, the Henrico sheriff's website seems to be down right now, likely due to a huge spike in web traffic:

Sheriff's Office - Henrico County, Virginia

Sheriff’s Office

www.henricosheriff.org

 

[Alex Mercer]

Honestly, this is why being a Brony should just be a capital offense, and it would save police a lot of trouble.

To be safe, just throw furries in there too

 

[Reverend]

Law in Question:

18.2-366. Sexual intercourse by persons forbidden to marry; incest; penalties.​

A. Any person who engages in sexual intercourse with any person whom he is forbidden by law to marry is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor except as provided by subsection B.

B. Any person who engages in sexual intercourse with his daughter or granddaughter, son or grandson, or father or mother is guilty of a Class 5 felony. However, if a parent or grandparent engages in sexual intercourse with his child or grandchild, and such child or grandchild is at least 13 years of age but less than 18 years of age at the time of the offense, such parent or grandparent is guilty of a Class 3 felony.

C. For the purposes of this section, parent includes stepparent, grandparent includes step-grandparent, child includes a stepchild, and grandchild includes a step-grandchild.

It's a felony at the minimum.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

You can't see them, they are pending. But given the circumstances, that means he's getting pinched for something more than just the incest. It could be a violation of the EPO, but if that were the only additional charge then I think that it would have already happened. That pretty much only leaves rape.

Elderly abuse?

 

[WorldsSmartestManRonOTool]

The courtroom sketches will be pretty interesting

I wish they would let Chris do the courtroom sketches in his trademark style.

 

[Kvasir]

Awesome. I'm more interested now on whether anyone will find a way to stream the trial? Shit would be hilarious.

I can only imagine the courts front row being livestreamers capitalising on the whole thing. Ethan will be there of course.

 

[Gottahavemysips]

Even the lowest ambulance chasers aren’t gonna touch this one.

You sure? Some real scumbag who realizes how many eyes will be on this trial could really make a name for himself as a fantastic defense attorney if he can get Chris a good deal. It would be some great advertising, especially for a practice in its infancy.

 

[Gimmick Account]

Actually, two guns