POLICE ISSUE A STATEMENT

Status
Not open for further replies.
Cripplebits said:
Speaking of which, I never considered the chance of him getting beaten for becoming a snitch or sucking up to the guards. He'd definitely be dumb and selfish enough to become a rat. There are just so many ways an autist like chris could fuck up and have a bad time in general population.
Click to expand...
He’s got so much shit going against him it almost isn’t funny.
  • He’ll be a sex offender
  • He sexually assaulted his own mother
  • He’s said to smell like “sour watermelon.”
  • Constantly shits himself
  • He’s a troon
  • He’s a coward
  • He hates work
  • He’s dirt poor, meaning he won’t be able to afford commissary
  • Will likely snitch for said commissary
  • Has literally nothing to offer the other inmates
  • Doesn’t have a good history with black people
  • Will back talk the guards like a child
  • Thinks rules don’t apply to him
  • Will habitually lie despite the fact he’s about as convincing as a five year old whose hand got caught in the cookie jar
  • Has the uncanny ability to burn through anyone’s sympathy for him
I think we should say goodbye to Chris. Best case scenario, he gets out in solitary confinement for the duration of his sentence and he comes out crazier than… well crazier than he already is.
 
Last edited:
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: make_it_so, Blatant hypocrite, Wooden Spoon and 97 others
Hmmpf! said:
Nah fam, the jailmates will force Chris to do minstrel shows like the good old classics.
View attachment 2408656View attachment 2408657
Click to expand...
The funny thing is it would be a possibility. Inmates are just a bunch of people who got busted. And they can surprise you.

More likely they'd exploit the weens for money and run it through all that jailhouse shit to end up with drugs I wasn't around long enough to figure all that out.
 
  • TMI
Reactions: moseph.jartelli
Mason Verger said:
Cole wants to bury his hillbilly southern roots as deeply away from his elitist NYC film fag circle as possible. Having your crossdressing retarded half-brother go to prison for incest rape with your bedridden mutual mother probably doesn’t help that image.
Click to expand...
idk he can flaunt his persecuted troon bro for woke points and say Christine was coerced into the hillbilly sideways tango by alt-right nazis
 
  • Optimistic
Reactions: George Lincoln Rockwell
YouTwat said:
No exactly. I do not think Chris is trans. I completely agree, he's a fag, whatever. But some people do want to say Chris is a troon even if it gets him defence from sjw retards because it gives them a way to shit on trans people

I also think actual trans people are mostly retarded as well, but fuck everyone who compares them to chris
Click to expand...
On the contrary, Chris was a troon before it was a cool fad that dumb zoomers were labeling themselves to fit in. Chris is one of the most well-documented cases of gender disphoria that has ever been seen. If anyone has a legitimate case for actually being trans, then it's Chris.

So let that sink in. Chris, who by your own admission is verifiably a man, is the most legitimate case of troonism in the world. So all these other mentally ill nutcases are even less women than he is. All troonies will never be women.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Disagree
Reactions: hoggle, goyangi, Bob-omb and 65 others
ANobody said:
Dont know how common its in the U.S. but COs sometimes leak child molesters and other deviants to genpop
Click to expand...
it's really common, but it shouldn't be surprising that the way they treat them isn't as bad as justice-porn fantasies would have you believe. there's a shitload of sex offenders in prison and rapists don't tend to gang up on other rapists.

the fact that it's his elderly mom is what will cause violence, along with his usual idiocy.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: chickenbutt, Wish a nigga would, Pocket Dragoon and 6 others
So here’s a fucked up notion: Chris, the ultimate mommas boy(and I mean ultimate) will likely never see Barb again. And it won’t be due to the finality of death, it’ll be worse for him knowing she’s still out there and he has no info on her. As his victim, he won’t get any access to her and only the most basic of updates. That’s gonna drive him fucking insane. What a dark fucking ending, eh pals?
 
  • Like
  • Feels
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Blatant hypocrite, Porn Theater Usher, Vivica A. Fox and 26 others
cuddle striker said:
it's really common, but it shouldn't be surprising that the way they treat them isn't as bad as justice-porn fantasies would have you believe. there's a shitload of sex offenders in prison and rapists don't tend to gang up on other rapists.

the fact that it's his elderly mom is what will cause violence, along with his usual idiocy.
Click to expand...
thats not what theyll hear though theyll get told and with chinese whispers it will be he raped disabled mother and is into little kids
 
  • Agree
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: George Lincoln Rockwell, cuddle striker, High Hedgie and 1 other person
Mason Verger said:
So here’s a fucked up notion: Chris, the ultimate mommas boy(and I mean ultimate) will likely never see Barb again. And it won’t be due to the finality of death, it’ll be worse for him knowing she’s still out there and he has no info on her. As his victim, he won’t get any access to her and only the most basic of updates. That’s gonna drive him fucking insane. What a dark fucking ending, eh pals?
Click to expand...
Kinda cringe speculation. Barb is dead, Chris shoved her in the oven.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: RodgerDodger and High Hedgie
catpin said:
I wonder what Cole thinks about this shit.
I cut off contact with my mom but i'd be with her if i heard she got raped by her autistic son
Click to expand...
Cole absolutely hates his mother and wants nothing to do with the dumpster fire that her son ignited. As far as any of us know the last time Cole spoke to anybody in his family was when Chris emailed him almost 20 years ago about that dumbass Parrapa bullshit. And even then his response was to basically say "tell me who my real father is or go to hell". Then the internet caught wind of this whole family and now he's just got nothing to gain by getting involved, not even closure.

I think Cole probably knows better than anybody that Chris and everybody in his vicinity gets dragged into a surreal alternate universe from which there is no escape. I mean for fucks sake there's cwcki articles about Chris's friends from fucking high school in the 90's. Making a living as a freelance film critic is hard enough, but imagine every time somebody googles you they get...this. All of this. This insanity.

If I had to guess Cole is probably deep in a large bottle of obscure craft whiskey right now, trying in vain to find a compromise between normal human empathy for the abused and the just as intense hatred he has of his mother.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
  • Agree
Reactions: Porn Theater Usher, Tom Spring, cluelessly and 17 others
Mason Verger said:
So here’s a fucked up notion: Chris, the ultimate mommas boy(and I mean ultimate) will likely never see Barb again. And it won’t be due to the finality of death, it’ll be worse for him knowing she’s still out there and he has no info on her. As his victim, he won’t get any access to her and only the most basic of updates. That’s gonna drive him fucking insane. What a dark fucking ending, eh pals?
Click to expand...
i expected her to die or the state or whoever put her in a home and chris in some halfway house and he jsut constantly gets kicked out of them and goes to another one
but this, i really did not expect this. i expected him to get done for sexually assaulting someone by grabbing their tits or something but this is just baffling for an end of a saga
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: chickenbutt, Ghost_of_Pinochet, High Hedgie and 1 other person
thismanlies said:
He’s got so much shit going against him it almost isn’t funny.
  • He’ll be a sex offender
  • He sexually assaulted his own mother
  • He’s said to smell like “sour watermelon.”
  • Constantly shits himself
  • He’s a troon
  • He’s a coward
  • He hates work
  • He’s dirt poor, meaning he won’t be able to afford commissary
  • Will likely snitch for said commissary
  • Has literally nothing to offer the other inma
  • Doesn’t have a good history with black people
  • Will back talk the guards like a child
  • Thinks rules don’t apply to him
  • Will habitually lie despite the fact he’s about as convincing as a five year old whose hand got caught in the cookie jar
  • Has the uncanny ability to burn through anyone’s sympathy for him
I think we should say goodbye to Chris. Best case scenario, he gets out in solitary confinement for the duration of his sentence and he comes out crazier than… well crazier than he already is.
Click to expand...
I actually didn't consider this, but there's no way in hell Chris is going to be able to avoid snitching. It might not even be intentional, he is just incapable of shutting the fuck up. Hell, he snitched on himself! Multiple times!
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Absolutego, Ira the Weatherman, The Sacred Chao and 10 others
Feline Supremacist said:
idk he can flaunt his persecuted troon bro for woke points and say Christine was coerced into the hillbilly sideways tango by alt-right nazis
Click to expand...
Preaching to the choir on that, I’ve always said that Cole should lean into his place in christory. He could’ve made some faggy award winning doc about Chris years ago. Now he’s got a salacious true crime saga on his hands. People are eating that shit up these days. Shit, there was some big doc about incest a few years ago that doesn’t have a tenth of the plot this has. Folks love hearing about families more fucked up than theirs. Chris could be the next gypsy rose Blanchard. Get on this, Cole. You know somebody else will.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: cluelessly, George Lincoln Rockwell, Nguyen Van Phuoc and 4 others
Cripplebits said:
Speaking of which, I never considered the chance of him getting beaten for becoming a snitch or sucking up to the guards. He'd definitely be dumb and selfish enough to become a rat. There are just so many ways an autist like chris could fuck up and have a bad time in general population.
Click to expand...
They won't allow chris into gen Pop just based on the fact he identifys as a female he will he placed in a PC unit along with other trans snitches or People trying to leave a gang. Yall dudes never watched locked up before? Lol the general information of how jail and court works in the US seems to confuse most people some kiwis were actually saying if he got a good lawyer he could get off with an Insanity plea which is one of the dumbest things I've read on here.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Ira the Weatherman, chickenbutt, CWC-Sands and 5 others
thismanlies said:
Has the uncanny ability to burn through anyone’s sympathy for him
Click to expand...
All Chris needs to do to provide the post-prison arc is to not kill himself, and his rampant narcissism will ensure that, the problem is he's probably gonna make every single person he runs into loose patience and prison is the last place you wanna snap someone's patience in.
If he's not straight up killed he's DEFINETLY getting shanked
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: George Lincoln Rockwell, Nguyen Van Phuoc, Chester Rigby and 5 others
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back