Chris court appearance

[Shig O'nella]

Why the fuck is every American website like this now

View attachment 2415608

Thank God for VPNs

It's a pain in the arse. Outline works to bypass most of them though.

 

[Blood Bath & Beyond]

Anyone want to raid 14 BC just to get some of his shit?

Anyone who goes in there looking for memorabilia is coming out with hepatitis, scabies and a life-long therapy bill; all for tard garbage.

Plus we will make fun of you mercilessly.

 

[Actual Literal Nixon]

Chandler interrupted the proceedings saying “I’m famous on the internet” loudly

Holy shit, this is real. I honestly believe this is peak sperg for Chris, it can't get any worse.

 

[AnimeAvatard]

Holy shit, this is real. I honestly believe this is peak sperg for Chris, it can't get any worse.

I pray to Godbear that someone leaks an audio account of it

 

[cubot]

So disappointing this wasn't filmed.

 

[Sickle Nuited Pigger]

If the judge or prosecutor asks during the trial "why don't you just escape to another dimension?" I will masturbate more furiously than Chris does at the thought of Barb taking out her teeth.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Holy shit, this is real. I honestly believe this is peak sperg for Chris, it can't get any worse.

NARRATOR: And then, it got worse.

 

[Techpriest]

Holy shit, this is real. I honestly believe this is peak sperg for Chris, it can't get any worse.

Oh it’s gonna get worse if this goes to trial

 

[Beautiful Border]

Remember Cole literally has "world's smartest film critic" on his website. If that isn't a sign of DSP tier self centered douchebaggery I don't know what is.

Eh, I read that part as being tongue-in-cheek, in the same way Maddox's website is called "The Best Page in the Universe"

 

[TexOffender]

Oh it’s gonna get worse if this goes to trial

Odds are pretty good he'll get his mouth duct taped.

 

[The Anarki Main]

I've heard of some prisoners - though usually in Europe getting game consoles in their cells - possibly as a result of good behavior. Though I think this is unlikely to happen for Chris.

German prisons allow prisoners to do prettymuch anything normal people can so long as they don't abuse it, as their goal is rehabilitation and not punishment. Perhaps this is what you're thinking of.

 

[Pringles Can]

Holy shit, this is real. I honestly believe this is peak sperg for Chris, it can't get any worse.

Thanks for saying it. Now that you have said it can't get worse, it now has to get worse. Thank you.

 

[deathray44]

Holy shit, this is real. I honestly believe this is peak sperg for Chris, it can't get any worse.

He didn't kill anybody and tried to consume their organs or bomb a school or anything.
There was some tiny discussions that he might have tried to use the money he stole to buy a gun, that could have ended very poorly.

So, I don't think it's the WORST he's ever done, but it pretty much is yeah.

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

Anyone want to raid 14 BC just to get some of his shit?

No. That's not just pozloading my neghole, that's rolling around in it.

Besides, unless you go in there with HazMat equipment you're going to catch something awful. Leave it to the poor souls who have to clean it out before the foreclosure sale, they're experts.

 

[Banditotron]

Oh it’s gonna get worse if this goes to trial

If there's one thing that Chris chan has shown us: things can always get worse.

 

[The Anarki Main]

He didn't kill anybody and tried to consume their organs or bomb a school or anything.
There was some tiny discussions that he might have tried to use the money he stole to buy a gun

So, I don't think it's the WORST he's ever done, but it pretty much is yeah.

Do you wish to imply that he has tried killing people and then bombing a school? I haven't heard of this.

Uh... he probably did those things, didn't he?

 

[AnOminous]

Chris’ lawyer

Attorney At Law | Heilberg Law | Charlottesville VA

Mr. Dave Heilberg is in his fifth decade helping clients throughout central Virginia with assistance in criminal law.

www.heilberglaw.com

Oh wow, another "Super Lawyer." This should be fun.

 

[Rorschach Test]

I don’t know shit about the law, but I’m under the impression the prosecutors usually get a plea deal by threatening to go forward with a felony charge. Then they offer a nice and easy misdemeanor with a reduced sentence if the person is willing to play ball.

Don’t know when a prosecutor might amend the charges (if it’s not too late and that may happen). Depending on how much Chris blurted out to the cops, there may be a chance he’s forced to accept a guilty plea with the felony charge just to avoid a sentence on the longer end of that big range.

 

[feedtheoctopus]

So why does everyone think his stuff will be auctioned off? If barb is in a memory care facility and everyone else is out of state, there's nobody to actually go in and take the stuff.

We don't know where Barb is, and probably never will.

 

[Grundlejungle]

He has a LOT of toys. I think it is plausible to be able to auction off all the toys on ebay and recoup the entire cost of purchasing the house and then some.
He has a lot of "fans" and they would all know this might be their last chance to get their hands on some genuine chris memorabilia.

As someone who knows the vintage toy market (Slight PL, I worked at a comic shop for a while), some of Chris's stuff is actually worth good money, even in fucking dogshit condition. A Vintage megatron ( even in the terrible condition his is in) could easily sell for $200. He likely has dozens of Lego mini figures worth 50-60 EACH.
Throw in the "Value" of being one of Chris's possessions, and the content of 14BC could easily be used to pay off their debts.