US Joe Biden News Megathread - The Other Biden Derangement Syndrome Thread (with a side order of Fauci Derangement Syndrome)

Let's pretend for one moment that he does die before the election, just for the funsies. What happens then? Will the nomination revert to option number 2, aka Bernie Sanders? Or will his running mate automatically replace him just the way Vice-President is supposted to step in after the Big Man in the White House chokes on a piece of matzo? Does he even have a running mate yet?

 

[CapricornusRex]

Spoiler: Smokin

It's a little smoky! There's supposed to be mountains in the background there.

 

[Compositesludge]

I was browsing /pol/ today and found this meme lol.

View attachment 2445540

Thank you for posting this! I've been meaning to do a blow-by-blow of this for a little while, but wasn't able to find it.

The introduction is a little pathetic. The former "red team" planner for the government is coping and laying out basic facts that a grade schooler would know. America is a big deal. America going to war (even with itself) is going to be a big deal for the rest of the world. Things might be more complicated than you'd think at first!

The first point is an outright lie. Events like the Northeast Blackout of 2003 were bad, but hardly led to widespread looting and pillaging, certainly not within the hours that such an attack would take to resolve. (And if somebody does have a bullet-proof plan for attacking the grid and coordinating with other highly-skilled team members, they're probably FBI, FYI.) You'll note that red planner doesn't go into details about these certain spots on the grid that marksmen could take out, because they don't exist. There is vulnerability in the power grid, but that's more going to be the result of Cyberattacks against the infrastructure itself, rather than... a marksman shooting down a transformer? I legitimately don't know what red planner was trying to say, and I don't think they knew either. This is getting stupider the more I'm thinking about it, so I'm going to move on.

The second point is fanfiction and can't be discussed. For it to have any validity, you have to accept that the world's dumbest red team planner is sharing information with 4chan, and while Federal workers do stupid things, this is a bridge too far. Anyway, I'm Boe Jiden and the actual desertion rate is 600% in peacetime. I am weeping with laughter.

The third point is also tremendously stupid. Better equipped than the military? I'll believe that when Qanon puts a B2 bomber over Washington. I can believe that they practice a lot with their weapons, but a rarely discussed point when it comes to gun ownership in the United States is the way that's broken down. Even a cursory search reveals that, while we do have a gun ownership per capital of 120k guns to 100k people, not everybody in the United States owns a gun. One person with 100 guns is going to be a lot less effective than, say, 100 people with ten guns. This isn't Fate/Stay, there's no infinite gunworks.

The fourth point would be a point if it wasn't ridiculous. Why are we thinking about Russia's involvement (a crippled power focusing on consolidating wealth into the hands of its oligarchs) than a place like China, a far greater economic and military power with ambitious foreign-stretching plans? The answer is that this piece is enormously stupid. This isn't an academic article, this is an alt-right cope piece masquerading as an intelligent analysis of threat capacity and capabilities. But I'm getting sidetracked from talking about the points it's trying to make again. The author ignores their own desertion rate (75%) to say that the military would be operating at 50% capacity. Is that 50% of 25%? Who's doing this math?

The fifth point is weird. Yeah, there'd be unrest during a civil war. But why does red planner immediately assume that all the prisoners in the United States will instantly join the Conservative rebels? They've been so good at making their treatise look good by throwing out random percentages, why suddenly give it up? The kindest answer is that nobody has enough research to determine what they'd do, beyond causing chaos. This would be fine if said rebels could give up creature comforts, but even a stint in prison (which I'm not saying is good, just not as bad in comparison) seems beyond the capacity of those who would charge the capitol to tolerate.

The sixth point is at once wrong and at once right. Yes, infrastructure in the United States is in dire shape. But we're talking about dire shape as in, "won't continue broadly working safely in fifty years" and not "will fall apart when a marksman shoots a telephone pole." It would be a logistical clusterfuck, but that hasn't stopped Detroit and Baltimore from staggering along for decades. To quote another (German) general, "“The reason that the American Navy does so well in wartime is that war is chaos, and the Americans practice chaos on a daily basis.” I don't know why red planner insists on threatening us with nothing, but whatever keeps him happily weeping.

The seventh point would be fascinating, if not for the fact that it's bullshit. Firstly, the red state blue state paradigm is weird. Is red planner defining that by if the state voted for Obama? If the governor's a Democrat or a Republican? This is a good way of knowing that they're full of shit when they say they were part of a red team in military wargaming. They can't even define the sides relative to one another! Back to the point, who's the largest agrarian producer in the United States? The answer probably isn't one that any of you would consider a red state.



You'll notice that the listing isn't about crops that are, say, staple crops, but instead focus on agricultural output. The sad truth of the matter is that when it comes to farming in the United States, factory farms dominate food produced. It's great that Timmy Teabagger would immediately surge out to try to take a factory farm, but that'll turn it into a straight up confrontation between his forces and the forces of Capital in the United States and worldwide. Vlad won't help those who can't help him return. I genuinely can't believe that red planner has gone through seven points by now and hasn't mentioned how the rebel group will sustain itself a week out. Maybe they'll have a communal Onlyfans.

The eighth point is where red planner realizes that his entire thesis of Russia leading a civil war off of American unrest is exceedingly stupid and tries to gloss over it by just asking questions (which is weird, considering how they were able to somehow estimate how many people would defect from the military under Obama's leadership?). How are they going to get out to those flyover states anyway? You'll note that there isn't, say, discussion of if those urban areas could hold areas that the rebels tried to take, or how the deserters would somehow be able to take those bases in urban areas. Having a majority of the military somehow work with them is great (assuming again that this is at all accurate), but we don't know where those people would come from, or how high up in the chain of command they would be. A military without funding or access to logistical support isn't going to get very much done.

The ninth point is hilarious because of how it switches gears halfway through, from "the media will be on our side" to "we'll destroy the media and prevent it from working" (I'm glad red planner remembers point one, because I had forgotten by this point). And why would I care if the rebel faction could monitor my conversations? They're too busy trying to get Vlad to send them medicine to do anything.

The tenth point is grimly funny in retrospect, because that would be the final conclusion from all of this. That the rebels would win so effortlessly that of course Obama would have to sling nukes at the population. This is a weird one, because by red planner's own math, a majority of the military are going to be supporting the rebels anyway. Maybe it comes down to the upper echelons of the military being the ones who are holding out? Why would the rest of the world immediately join the rebel cause? Aren't the rebels the ones railing against the United Nations and China and Europe and whatever? Red planner even mocks Europe and Sweden in his treatise, why in the world would Europe be willing to help? The correct answer is that red planner has decided that Russia's the only foreign power that will be able to act and of course be willing to help, and while it must warm hearts to the East to know that he has so much faith in them, I don't know where that faith comes from.

Tl;DR: The final point red planner makes is the real takeaway from this. All this thought exercise (and I use that phrase extremely graciously, as that was abominable to think about, much less break down) comes down to is coping. When it comes down to it, if we do enter a civil war, it's going to mean that everybody loses, not that red states (whatever we define those are) are going to win because Vladimir Putin. If you see treatises like this, that make rebellion and terrorism sound like super fun and easy ways to get what you want, for the love of God, think before you act, because I can guarantee that those people either don't know what they're doing and/or don't have your best interests at heart.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Spoiler: Smokin

View attachment 2445707

It's a little smoky! There's supposed to be mountains in the background there.

Jfc

 

[Iceland Heavy]

View attachment 2445687
I can't wait to see how the Biden administration will spin this shit show.

This is such an optical disaster for Biden I'm certain he is near catatonic somewhere, wouldn't be at all surprised if this is the catalyst for accelerated cognitive decline on his part. There was never going to be any long term winning in Afghanistan and everyone paying even the slightest attention to the ANA over the last decade knew it but this near instantaneous collapse must still be a nightmare for the administration. I don't know if the Taliban would have actually given Trump a Peace with Honor but Biden trying for yet more symbolic bullshit by unilaterally changing the withdrawal date to 9/11 seems to have backfired catastrophically.

 

[jje100010001]

Looking at the difference in coverage between Fox News and Newsmax is like night and day at this point.

Fox News without Tucker is basically CNN, Hannity is a Catholic CIA nigger lover who can go fuck himself and a feel good bluepill at this point.

Newsmax is willing to address how the GOP is basically ignoring reality on actual subversive shit like CRT and Voter ID laws and mass immigration.

Fox News is filled with cunts who feel Gab is a bigger threat to America lol or keep bringing on folks like Geraldo and promoted Jenner at one point.

The grassroots GOP knows what is going on and is living in reality, the leadership at the top is filled with dinosaurs from the Reagan era that need to be removed badly.

Someone elsewhere said it well- RINOs- i.e. GOP establishment, Fox, Conservative thunk-tanks)- seem to be always focused on short-term victories while ignoring the larger factors leading to a long-term leftward drift.

So yeah, they might win a seat in the next election, but after that, the seat goes from R+8, to R+2, to a tossup, and then D+1, and onwards.

 

[BubbleButt]

It is astounding how many people on the news subreddit implicitly trust whatever is written in a newspaper headline. Holy fucking shit.

The media has brainwashed a generation of Americans.

 

[Mepsi Pax]

By county
View attachment 2445164View attachment 2445165

I dunno exactly what's going on in that map, but it's definitely not by county, or it's not consistently by county. I'm looking at a few states I'm familiar with and the individual shadings are cities/municipalities. Do you really think there's 20 counties in the ass end of Massachusetts?

Spoiler

Thank you for posting this! I've been meaning to do a blow-by-blow of this for a little while, but wasn't able to find it.

The introduction is a little pathetic. The former "red team" planner for the government is coping and laying out basic facts that a grade schooler would know. America is a big deal. America going to war (even with itself) is going to be a big deal for the rest of the world. Things might be more complicated than you'd think at first!

The first point is an outright lie. Events like the Northeast Blackout of 2003 were bad, but hardly led to widespread looting and pillaging, certainly not within the hours that such an attack would take to resolve. (And if somebody does have a bullet-proof plan for attacking the grid and coordinating with other highly-skilled team members, they're probably FBI, FYI.) You'll note that red planner doesn't go into details about these certain spots on the grid that marksmen could take out, because they don't exist. There is vulnerability in the power grid, but that's more going to be the result of Cyberattacks against the infrastructure itself, rather than... a marksman shooting down a transformer? I legitimately don't know what red planner was trying to say, and I don't think they knew either. This is getting stupider the more I'm thinking about it, so I'm going to move on.

The second point is fanfiction and can't be discussed. For it to have any validity, you have to accept that the world's dumbest red team planner is sharing information with 4chan, and while Federal workers do stupid things, this is a bridge too far. Anyway, I'm Boe Jiden and the actual desertion rate is 600% in peacetime. I am weeping with laughter.

The third point is also tremendously stupid. Better equipped than the military? I'll believe that when Qanon puts a B2 bomber over Washington. I can believe that they practice a lot with their weapons, but a rarely discussed point when it comes to gun ownership in the United States is the way that's broken down. Even a cursory search reveals that, while we do have a gun ownership per capital of 120k guns to 100k people, not everybody in the United States owns a gun. One person with 100 guns is going to be a lot less effective than, say, 100 people with ten guns. This isn't Fate/Stay, there's no infinite gunworks.

The fourth point would be a point if it wasn't ridiculous. Why are we thinking about Russia's involvement (a crippled power focusing on consolidating wealth into the hands of its oligarchs) than a place like China, a far greater economic and military power with ambitious foreign-stretching plans? The answer is that this piece is enormously stupid. This isn't an academic article, this is an alt-right cope piece masquerading as an intelligent analysis of threat capacity and capabilities. But I'm getting sidetracked from talking about the points it's trying to make again. The author ignores their own desertion rate (75%) to say that the military would be operating at 50% capacity. Is that 50% of 25%? Who's doing this math?

The fifth point is weird. Yeah, there'd be unrest during a civil war. But why does red planner immediately assume that all the prisoners in the United States will instantly join the Conservative rebels? They've been so good at making their treatise look good by throwing out random percentages, why suddenly give it up? The kindest answer is that nobody has enough research to determine what they'd do, beyond causing chaos. This would be fine if said rebels could give up creature comforts, but even a stint in prison (which I'm not saying is good, just not as bad in comparison) seems beyond the capacity of those who would charge the capitol to tolerate.

The sixth point is at once wrong and at once right. Yes, infrastructure in the United States is in dire shape. But we're talking about dire shape as in, "won't continue broadly working safely in fifty years" and not "will fall apart when a marksman shoots a telephone pole." It would be a logistical clusterfuck, but that hasn't stopped Detroit and Baltimore from staggering along for decades. To quote another (German) general, "“The reason that the American Navy does so well in wartime is that war is chaos, and the Americans practice chaos on a daily basis.” I don't know why red planner insists on threatening us with nothing, but whatever keeps him happily weeping.

The seventh point would be fascinating, if not for the fact that it's bullshit. Firstly, the red state blue state paradigm is weird. Is red planner defining that by if the state voted for Obama? If the governor's a Democrat or a Republican? This is a good way of knowing that they're full of shit when they say they were part of a red team in military wargaming. They can't even define the sides relative to one another! Back to the point, who's the largest agrarian producer in the United States? The answer probably isn't one that any of you would consider a red state.

View attachment 2445677

You'll notice that the listing isn't about crops that are, say, staple crops, but instead focus on agricultural output. The sad truth of the matter is that when it comes to farming in the United States, factory farms dominate food produced. It's great that Timmy Teabagger would immediately surge out to try to take a factory farm, but that'll turn it into a straight up confrontation between his forces and the forces of Capital in the United States and worldwide. Vlad won't help those who can't help him return. I genuinely can't believe that red planner has gone through seven points by now and hasn't mentioned how the rebel group will sustain itself a week out. Maybe they'll have a communal Onlyfans.

The eighth point is where red planner realizes that his entire thesis of Russia leading a civil war off of American unrest is exceedingly stupid and tries to gloss over it by just asking questions (which is weird, considering how they were able to somehow estimate how many people would defect from the military under Obama's leadership?). How are they going to get out to those flyover states anyway? You'll note that there isn't, say, discussion of if those urban areas could hold areas that the rebels tried to take, or how the deserters would somehow be able to take those bases in urban areas. Having a majority of the military somehow work with them is great (assuming again that this is at all accurate), but we don't know where those people would come from, or how high up in the chain of command they would be. A military without funding or access to logistical support isn't going to get very much done.

The ninth point is hilarious because of how it switches gears halfway through, from "the media will be on our side" to "we'll destroy the media and prevent it from working" (I'm glad red planner remembers point one, because I had forgotten by this point). And why would I care if the rebel faction could monitor my conversations? They're too busy trying to get Vlad to send them medicine to do anything.

The tenth point is grimly funny in retrospect, because that would be the final conclusion from all of this. That the rebels would win so effortlessly that of course Obama would have to sling nukes at the population. This is a weird one, because by red planner's own math, a majority of the military are going to be supporting the rebels anyway. Maybe it comes down to the upper echelons of the military being the ones who are holding out? Why would the rest of the world immediately join the rebel cause? Aren't the rebels the ones railing against the United Nations and China and Europe and whatever? Red planner even mocks Europe and Sweden in his treatise, why in the world would Europe be willing to help? The correct answer is that red planner has decided that Russia's the only foreign power that will be able to act and of course be willing to help, and while it must warm hearts to the East to know that he has so much faith in them, I don't know where that faith comes from.

Tl;DR: The final point red planner makes is the real takeaway from this. All this thought exercise (and I use that phrase extremely graciously, as that was abominable to think about, much less break down) comes down to is coping. When it comes down to it, if we do enter a civil war, it's going to mean that everybody loses, not that red states (whatever we define those are) are going to win because Vladimir Putin. If you see treatises like this, that make rebellion and terrorism sound like super fun and easy ways to get what you want, for the love of God, think before you act, because I can guarantee that those people either don't know what they're doing and/or don't have your best interests at heart.

This guy wrote a wall of text about a /pol/ civil war LARP

 

[teriyakiburns]

I've tried to moderate who in my social circle I express my real political views to but even making jokes about us heading to the dumb nanny state dystopia in Demolition Man has always been treated with mild derision.
Well here we are, fuckers.

Right now we're heading toward the very worst combination of Demolition Man and Running Man, except we won't even get Maria Conchita Alonso shoving SD cards of evidence up her cooch to stave off the pain.

 

[Hackallier]

Biden and his handlers finally came out with a statement:

Statement by President Joe Biden on Afghanistan | The White House

Over the past several days, I have been in close contact with my national security team to give them direction on how to protect our interests and values

www.whitehouse.gov

Statement by President Joe Biden on Afghanistan
​

Over the past several days I have been in close contact with my national security team to give them direction on how to protect our interests and values as we end our military mission in Afghanistan.

First, based on the recommendations of our diplomatic, military, and intelligence teams, I have authorized the deployment of approximately 5,000 US troops to make sure we can have an orderly and safe drawdown of US personnel and other allied personnel and an orderly and safe evacuation of Afghans who helped our troops during our mission and those at special risk from the Taliban advance.

Second, I have ordered our armed forces and our intelligence community to ensure that we will maintain the capability and the vigilance to address future terrorist threats from Afghanistan.

Third, I have directed the Secretary of State to support President Ghani and other Afghan leaders as they seek to prevent further bloodshed and pursue a political settlement. Secretary Blinken will also engage with key regional stakeholders.

Fourth, we have conveyed to the Taliban representatives in Doha, via our Combatant Commander, that any action on their part on the ground in Afghanistan, that puts US personnel or our mission at risk there, will be met with a swift and strong US military response.

Fifth, I have placed Ambassador Tracey Jacobson in charge of a whole of government effort to process, transport, and relocate Afghan special immigrant visa applicants and other Afghan allies. Our hearts go out to the brave Afghan men and women who are now at risk. We are working to evacuate thousands of those who helped our cause and their families.

That is what we are going to do. Now let me be clear about how we got here.

America went to Afghanistan 20 years ago to defeat the forces that attacked this country on September 11th. That mission resulted in the death of Osama Bin Laden over a decade ago and the degradation of al Qaeda. And yet, 10 years later, when I became President, a small number of US troops still remained on the ground, in harm’s way, with a looming deadline to withdraw them or go back to open combat.

Over our country’s 20 years at war in Afghanistan, America has sent its finest young men and women, invested nearly $1 trillion dollars, trained over 300,000 Afghan soldiers and police, equipped them with state-of-the-art military equipment, and maintained their air force as part of the longest war in US history. One more year, or five more years, of US military presence would not have made a difference if the Afghan military cannot or will not hold its own country. And an endless American presence in the middle of another country’s civil conflict was not acceptable to me.

When I came to office, I inherited a deal cut by my predecessor—which he invited the Taliban to discuss at Camp David on the eve of 9/11 of 2019—that left the Taliban in the strongest position militarily since 2001 and imposed a May 1, 2021 deadline on US forces. Shortly before he left office, he also drew US forces down to a bare minimum of 2,500. Therefore, when I became President, I faced a choice—follow through on the deal, with a brief extension to get our forces and our allies’ forces out safely, or ramp up our presence and send more American troops to fight once again in another country’s civil conflict. I was the fourth President to preside over an American troop presence in Afghanistan—two Republicans, two Democrats. I would not, and will not, pass this war onto a fifth.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

I have authorized the deployment of approximately 5,000 US troops to make sure we can have an orderly and safe drawdown of US personnel and other allied personnel and an orderly and safe evacuation of Afghans who helped our troops during our mission and those at special risk from the Taliban advance.

Should have done that at least 72 hours ago. With the military lift capacity having been dedicated to moving illegal aliens with Covid to red states, you're going to have to redeploy it all. Then you have to have the Rapid Ready Brigades go through POM, draw their weapons, attend 48 hours worth the SHARP and tranny fee fee briefings, get on the planes, and fly for 12 hours to Afghanistan.

America went to Afghanistan 20 years ago to defeat the forces that attacked this country on September 11th. That mission resulted in the death of Osama Bin Laden over a decade ago and the degradation of al Qaeda. And yet, 10 years later, when I became President, a small number of US troops still remained on the ground, in harm’s way, with a looming deadline to withdraw them or go back to open combat.

You inherited a timeline for withdrawal that was already agreed upon and broke it for PR. Nice try at Orange Man Bad, though.

When I came to office, I inherited a deal cut by my predecessor—which he invited the Taliban to discuss at Camp David on the eve of 9/11 of 2019—that left the Taliban in the strongest position militarily since 2001 and imposed a May 1, 2021 deadline on US forces. Shortly before he left office, he also drew US forces down to a bare minimum of 2,500. Therefore, when I became President, I faced a choice—follow through on the deal, with a brief extension to get our forces and our allies’ forces out safely, or ramp up our presence and send more American troops to fight once again in another country’s civil conflict. I was the fourth President to preside over an American troop presence in Afghanistan—two Republicans, two Democrats. I would not, and will not, pass this war onto a fifth.

So, you were faced with a choice to remove the troops by the 1 May deadline and didn't because you wanted to have a PR victory.

So, basically, you cocked everything up just like you have cocked everything else up so far.

Sorry, you can't pull Orange Man Bad on this.

It's all on you.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

What is going to happen is the next round of lockdowns coupled with vaccine passports coming to major cities will absolutely cause chimpouts. I read a story a few weeks back about a black dude pulling a gun because his fries were too salty. The tag line at the bottom mentioned a shootout over hot sauce on a sandwich in Kentucky. You dont have to worry about anything. Plenty of ghetto morons living in the "high class city" will be told they need to show their papers or fuck off. They will fuck off with guns and we will get content provided through our screens.

Niggas be too stupid to get a ID, but smart enough to get a vaccine pass?

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Is anyone smelling what that statement is cooking or is it an utterly transparent cope?

 

[gaystoner]

Is anyone smelling what that statement is cooking or is it an utterly transparent cope?

Its a pretty pathetic statement lol

 

[FAQnews Correspondent]

Biden and his handlers finally came out with a statement:

I inherited a deal cut by my predecessor—which he invited the Taliban to discuss at Camp David on the eve of 9/11 of 2019—that left the Taliban in the strongest position militarily since 2001 and imposed a May 1, 2021 deadline on US forces.

AHAHAHA HE SAID IT EVERYONE CALLED IT
Everybody knew he'd blame it on Trump!
ORANGE MAN BAD

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

AHAHAHA HE SAID IT EVERYONE CALLED IT
Everybody knew he'd blame it on Trump!
ORANGE MAN BAD

How aren't people just exhausted with fucking blame shifting. Be a fucking professional and just get the job done...wtf...why is that so difficult?!

 

[soy_king]

AHAHAHA HE SAID IT EVERYONE CALLED IT
Everybody knew he'd blame it on Trump!
ORANGE MAN BAD

And to think the left ever mocked Republicans for being Pearl clutching faggots who reeeed at the whiff of a burning flag. Since when is Camp David supposed to have any symbolic meaning beyond that place that Presidents occasionally go to when the fumes of the swamp start to get too much for even them to handle?

 

[ForgedBlades]

Day 206 of missing this nigga like you wouldn't believe.

 

[CrippleThreat]

Is anyone smelling what that statement is cooking or is it an utterly transparent cope?

It's the best his handlers could cook up. Come on, give them a break, dude.

 

[A-Stump]

So when are we invading Iran

 

[The Nothingness]

How aren't people just exhausted with fucking blame shifting. Be a fucking professional and just get the job done...wtf...why is that so difficult?!

Integrity and politics don't mix.