Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[AbraCadaver]

Russ was laughed out of the Pawn Stars pawn shop after attempting to hock his Dennis Hof crap.

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Another business—one specializing in purchasing and re-selling coins and jewellery—refused to buy his useless garbage. Russ reviewed it, and the owner responded, claiming Russ never entered his store.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

GOODBYE, SIDES

 

[Compositesludge]

Another business—one specializing in purchasing and re-selling coins and jewellery—refused to buy his useless garbage. Russ reviewed it, and the owner responded, claiming Russ never entered his store.

This reminds me of a joke.

A man is driving down a rural road when his car runs out of gas. Cursing his foolishness, the man gets out of his car and realizes that there aren't any gas stations nearby, and night is approaching. His only hope is that he can find somebody nearby who has a jerry can of gas he can use to try to get to a gas station. So he starts walking up the road, and the stress of the situation starts getting to him. What if he doesn't find anybody? But he crests the hill, and as luck would have it, there's a house a few hundred feet down the road and the lights are on. He feels elated, and the road seems to disappear underneath him as he speeds up.

But he keeps thinking to himself. Well, what if they don't have a jerry can or know anybody who might bring one over? He realizes that if they don't help him, he's screwed. And as he approaches the house, the man begins to slow down. Now he's nervous, and getting more worried by the moment. And now he begins to think to himself, well, what if whoever's in the house doesn't want to help me? Maybe they think I'm a burglar or something and call the police. Or maybe, he thinks to himself, they know he's stuck and don't want him to get helped at all. And he starts walking toward the house more quickly, as he thinks about whoever's home laughing at him and his plight before slamming the door shut in his face. And now he's walking even more quickly than before, his furious strides carrying him over the driveway and the front step as he imagines what he'd do if they had the nerve, the gall to refuse him so cruelly. He makes it to the front door, and knocks. A few seconds later, an woman opens the door.

"Oh my goodness, are y-"

"Listen, you bitch," the man growls, "I wouldn't take your fucking gas if you were the last person on Earth!"

 

[RodgerDodger]

The Taylor Swift book is the Great American Novel I tell you! Yeah, I know he says it's a true story, but anyone with an IQ above 85 knows most of it is very exaggerated, and parts are completely made up. If he had any money, I'm sure Taylor Swift would sue, but since he doesn't, it's not worth giving him recognition. If she sued him for libel, he'd turn around and say, "SEE?! It's true otherwise why would she be suing me?!"

Didn’t she drop an Order of Protection on his ass? Which would seem to be the most applicable response to Crusty Rusty fixating on you.

 

[Meat Target]

Didn’t she drop an Order of Protection on his ass? Which would seem to be the most applicable response to Crusty Rusty fixating on you.

Hell, does she even know (or care, for that matter) that he exists?

 

[Constellationzero]

Russ was laughed out of the Pawn Stars pawn shop after attempting to hock his Dennis Hof crap.

View attachment 2474583

Another business—one specializing in purchasing and re-selling coins and jewellery—refused to buy his useless garbage. Russ reviewed it, and the owner responded, claiming Russ never entered his store.

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Spoiler: Account Image

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"...and before you laugh at me..." Holy fucking SHIIIIIT!

But you didn't let him tardsplain! Like it seriously never occurred to the greasy gourd that maybe, just maybe all the pawn shops and coin collectors in the general area already know about his shitty wooden nickels his BFF flicked at him and any other rubber booger clout chaser that came down the pike?

I'd ask if those reviews are real, but we already know the answer to that.

 

[StinkySnack]

Russ was laughed out of the Pawn Stars pawn shop after attempting to hock his Dennis Hof crap.

View attachment 2474583

Another business—one specializing in purchasing and re-selling coins and jewellery—refused to buy his useless garbage. Russ reviewed it, and the owner responded, claiming Russ never entered his store.

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Spoiler: Account Image

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It's been two months since he went to that pawn shop, and he has just now decided to leave this hilarious review.

He seethed and foamed at the mouth for two months before his narcissistic injury was nursed enough to leave a negative review.

Two. Months.

 

[The Dude]

Russ was laughed out of the Pawn Stars pawn shop after attempting to hock his Dennis Hof crap.

View attachment 2474583

Another business—one specializing in purchasing and re-selling coins and jewellery—refused to buy his useless garbage. Russ reviewed it, and the owner responded, claiming Russ never entered his store.

View attachment 2474608

Spoiler: Account Image

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LOL, Russhole's life IS a comedy. He's the only one who seems to not understand this. I'm betting this Hof coin Shit-Lips is trying to hock isn't even made of silver since he hasn't gotten any offers to buy it for its metal value. Probably just bronze with a nickel or silver coating. Of course, Mr. Saggins has no fucking clue what makes a thing valuable or collectable. It's not like it's an 1894 Morgan Silver Dollar or an 1876 Seated Liberty Dollar. It's a hunk of metal that's shaped like a coin that some infamous Nevada pimp gave to him as a souvenir. Ninety-nine percent of people don't give a flying fuck and a rolling donut about Dennis Hof, or prostitution/brothel paraphernalia in general. Especially not modern stuff. Maybe if it was something connected to the old days of Las Vegas or some notorious cat house from the Wild West days of the Nevada Territory, then he might get a few shekels for it. But it isn't even worth the metal it's made out of.

And that's just par for the course for our Mr. Greer. He complains about being laughed out of the Gold & Silver Pawn shop and feeling embarrassed, but no one forced him to go there. No one put a gun to his head and made him try to sell his worthless junk. It was Pipsqueak himself who got it into his head that his shitty little Hof coin MUST be valuable because Hof gave it to him and he looked up to Hof. In Russhole's mine that means everyone else must have looked up to Hof and considered him important as well. It was Shit-Lips' foolish lack of common sense and failure to understand that other people don't think and believe the same things he does that lead to his humiliation at the shop. Thus the cycle of Russhole's life continues on. Ka is like a wheel.

 

[AnOminous]

Russ was laughed out of the Pawn Stars pawn shop after attempting to hock his Dennis Hof crap.

If he reads his thread (and we know you do Russhole) and paid any attention, he'd know that's exactly what we said would happen because shit that Dennis Hof handed out to every retard who came through the door is not "rare" or "collectible." They laughed because only an absolute retard would think it is.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Yeah, I'm sure he fully intends to meet his future wife on campus here.

This is how Russ thinks this will go. He'll be successful in this PAC and get prostitution legalized. He'll become famous and this will launch his career in politics/law. Sure, he'll be able to hire a hooker whenever he wants to, but he won't need to anymore because people will finally appreciate him for his genius and panties will spontaneously drop the world over. Meanwhile, the shy but incredibly sexy girl who met him during Welcome Week and was so moved by his plights that she signed up to volunteer, has fallen in love with Russ along the way. She left school pretty soon after meeting him, but she did go to a local college to learn some secretary stuff so she can now play an active role in Russ's future political campaigns. She's educated but not more educated than he is, and she's willing to devote all her time and attention (when not sucking his dick, which happens frequently and without prompting by Russ) to making him an even bigger success. At Russ's prompting, she let go of her shyness and became an Instagram model so everyone can see how hot she is and how well Russ did for himself. She's also come to realize that only a man who truly resoected women would legalize brothels and that sex work is good for women as long as the men remain in charge -- and only a real man like Russ could make that happen. In fact, she's so cool with sex work and so humbled to be Russ's wife that she really doesn't mind if he samples the goods at his multi-million dollar brothel empire he's built. Russ dies rich, famous, adored, influential, getting laid regularly, and will have a place in the history books as the world's smartest (and awesomest) dude. When he gets to heaven (which of course he will) God Himself apologizes and then gives him his own planet to rule, like the very best of Mormons get.

Just like he deserves.

I'm sure this and many other similar scenarios have kept him company during his 8-hour shifts cleaning Walmart toilets.

You lost me at “wife.” In Russ’ mind, he’s a player that can’t be tied down.

If he needs to grant a woman permanent dick-riding status, he will unite with her in the strongest and most sacred bonds Russ knows: making her top manager at his whore house.

It's been two months since he went to that pawn shop, and he has just now decided to leave this hilarious review.

He seethed and foamed at the mouth for two months before his narcissistic injury was nursed enough to leave a negative review.

Two. Months.

Maybe he was waiting for Pawn Stars to call him back after they were done playing hard to get. They probably were trying to drive his cost down! Any minute now Chumlee was going to show up on Russ’ doorstep with a sheepish look and an offer from Rick to come back and negotiate.

Eight fuckin weeks later, it finally dawns on him that they don’t care.
It is Peak Russ that he thinks that, because he didn’t get to explain, that dumb hispanic guy doesn’t even know what the coin is!

When it’s actually obvious to anyone with a brain that the reason he turned the coin down was because he’d seen them before. He knew what they were worth (zero) and dismissed it. Dennis Hof was well-known in Vegas and pawn shops would have seen these coins in the past.

Russ meanwhile thinks these shitty challenge coins were only presented, with fanfare, to an exclusive inner circle of astronauts, mafia kings and Russell Greer.

Last but not least: “Showbiz” Russ Greer is astounded to find out reality tv is heavily scripted and frankenbyted into a pre-set storyline.

Babies who have yet to develop complex sight and fully recognize the features of their own parents already know reality tv is not reality. But not the Sequined Showstopper.

 

[lamp shade]

Hold the fuck up everyone—

It’s another Taylor Swift conspiracy! She told her minions to not buy a thing from Russ or else he might get on TV and expose her!

 

[Andrew Neiman]

Hey I’ve tried searching the thread with no luck - does anyone know if the Greer book is still online anywhere? That sovcit case gave me a taste for reading about freaks. The Rekeita recap is just too long for my tastes.

WELCOME TO THE GREER CLUB

Remember to resoect the rules and don't faked sue anyone. Bias behavior will not be tolerated, even among those with Moebious syndrome. Dues are $1, payable by Venmo.

"As I was walking out, everybody exploded into a laugh track like I was in a comedy or something." I know this is just an expression of Russell's delusions of persecution, but it's such a wonderfully funny image -- like Russell wandered into an establishment that was staffed entirely by Kiwi Farms regulars or something.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"...and before you laugh at me..." Holy fucking SHIIIIIT!

But you didn't let him tardsplain! Like it seriously never occurred to the greasy gourd that maybe, just maybe all the pawn shops and coin collectors in the general area already know about his shitty wooden nickels his BFF flicked at him and any other rubber booger clout chaser that came down the pike?

I'd ask if those reviews are real, but we already know the answer to that.

The funniest part is that they probably did let him explain. And then politely yet firmly dismantled his explanation before asking him to leave.

 

[Skullshatterer]

Unfortunately we will never witness that scene, but god I wish it was on the show. I wonder if "everyone laughed" was him exaggerating yet again to play being a victim, just like when Taylor Swift stabbed him (metaphorically).

 

[AnOminous]

The funniest part is that they probably did let him explain. And then politely yet firmly dismantled his explanation before asking him to leave.

At a pawn shop? Even a TV pawn shop? Naw, they just told him to get lost. They're not big on fancy etiquette there, if it's crap, it's crap, and they just tell you they're not interested.

Unfortunately we will never witness that scene, but god I wish it was on the show. I wonder if "everyone laughed" was him exaggerating yet again to play being a victim, just like when Taylor Swift stabbed him (metaphorically).

I wouldn't be surprised if there was some snickering, especially if trying to fob off this Hof shit and similar tourist junk is common.

 

[artilleryfroth]

I can’t get past him calling himself “the piano man; the sexy disabled guy”. He’s absolutely delusional.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Another business—one specializing in purchasing and re-selling coins and jewellery—refused to buy his useless garbage. Russ reviewed it, and the owner responded, claiming Russ never entered his store.

Sounds like he probably replied to the email and told Russ he wasn't interested in buying, so Russ didn't actually go there. Apparently saving him the trip (and the embarrassment) is worth 3 stars.

Unfortunately we will never witness that scene, but god I wish it was on the show. I wonder if "everyone laughed" was him exaggerating yet again to play being a victim, just like when Taylor Swift stabbed him (metaphorically).

I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Some drooly sped walks in and shows them this coin that immediately, without him really needing to say anything, says: 1. he goes to brothels 2. he's dumb enough to think that they handed this uniquely rare collectable coin to him just because he's special and 3. he's so desperate for cash now that he wants to sell it.

 

[Tobias]

Its too bad Russell only reads his thread on here because I bet you anything his head would explode over the fact that the silver Chris Coins absolutely have more value than his Hof shit.

 

[The Dude]

Its too bad Russell only reads his thread on here because I bet you anything his head would explode over the fact that the silver Chris Coins absolutely have more value than his Hof shit.

True, but that's because they're actually made of silver. They sell similar coins (both solid silver and gold available) at the Gold & Silver as souvenirs that have the Old Man's face on them. Russhole's bronze "I am a loser who has to pay to get laid" brothel token wouldn't even be worth melting down to recycle.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

[Exterior: Gold & Silver pawn shop, Las Vegas. Interior shots of customers waddling around between the display cases.]

Rick: “So what have you got for me?”

[A trembling Russell Greer deposits his shop-soiled brothel token onto the counter, like it's one of the gold coins from John Wick.]

Rick: “Okay, if I am not mistaken, this is a coin from Dennis Hof's Love Ranch, which was a brothel in Nevada. Some people farm alpacas. Other people farm women. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Every so often Dennis would have a batch of these coins made up. Whenever a homeless person was harassing him for change, he would hand a few out, just to get them to leave him alone. Then he would go back to his ranch and fuck his whores. Seriously, he would dose up on Viagra and rail four or five of them for hours. It must be have been an amazing spectacle to have witnessed...”

[Cut from Rick's faraway gaze to an earlier subtitled interview with Russell.]

Russell: “Today I'm here to sell my super-rare brothel coin from the Nevada Love Ranch that the owner, Dennis Hof, only gave to celebrities and VIPs. I'm selling it because I need money to fund my political action committee. My aim is to become a beacon for the sex industry by making prostitution legal within a one-mile radius of wherever I am standing. I also want to make it illegal for women to turn me down for sex, or to charge more than the minimum hourly wage for their services Because of the rarity of the coin, I won't accept anything less than one-million dollars for it.”

[Snap back to the present moment]

Rick: “How much do you want for it?”

Russell: [subtitled, but Rick can understand him in the same way that Han Solo can understand Chewbacca] “One... Ten-thousand dollars.”

Rick: “The problem I have, Russell, is that I don't know enough about these tokens to put a value on it. With your permission I would like to get my coin guy down here to tell me a bit more about its history and give me an appraisal.

Russell: (excited noises of affirmation.)

[A pawn shop employee places a 'Danger Slippery Floor' sign next to the puddle of drool that has gathered around Russell's feet.]

[MONTAGE: More footage of customers wandering around the pawn shop. Some douchebag carrying an antique, three-legged milking stool above his head. A couple paddle a canoe, that once belonged to Lewis and Clark, across a tepid pond of Russell's saliva. A short bullshit scene where Chumlee fails to acquire a quantity of methamphetamine that once belonged to Howard Hughes. Rick's 'coin guy' arrives at the counter.]

Rick: “I called you down here because I've got this brothel token from the Love Ranch in Nevada that I need to put a value on. The first thing I need to know is: Is it genuine?”

Coin Guy: “Well I can tell you right off the bat this is an authentic coin from The Love Ranch. To the best of my knowledge nobody ever bothered to counterfeit these things.”

Rick: “So, can you tell me a little more about its history?”

Coin Guy: “Sure. The Love Ranch was built over an old silver mine in Nevada. The owner of the mine, Dennis Hof, was having problems with Mormons, who were drawn to the silver. To scare them away he spread a rumour that the mine was home to a colony of whores; prostitutes being the natural enemy of Mormons. In fact, most of the girls were just janitors wearing masks and titty suits. Dennis paid them in company script which is what this coin is.”

Rick: “So this is like a Disney Dollar?”

Coin Guy: “That's right. It's exactly like a Disney Dollar. Now if we look at the obverse side here we can see a likeness of Dennis Hof in profile, along with his motto in Latin – 'Acquire silver and hoes'. On the reverse side we have this engraving...”

Rick: “Now my first thought when I saw that was: That's a vagina.”

Coin Guy: (Studies the token through a magnifier) “I would say that is an engraving of a vagina. Down here we have another Latin inscription that reads: 'Good for two free entrées at Olive Garden'.”

Rick: “So its worth something.”

Coin Guy: “Underneath that you have this smaller Latin inscription that translates to: 'Offer available between 3 and 4 pm on Wednesdays, at bus station and airport restaurants only.' And then down here someone has scratched the words: 'Please go on a date with me, Taylor – Russell'.”

Rick: “That's going to affect the value. What would you say it's worth?”

Coin Guy: “I guess whatever a pair of entrées at Olive Garden runs to.”

Rick: “Okay, thank you for coming down. The thing is, Russell, if I buy this token from you, then I need to find room for it in one of my coin display cases. That's space that could be occupied by another coin, or a badge, or even a loose shirt button that I want to keep track of until Chumlee can sew it back on for me. The other issue is that, this morning, a guy across the street was handing out coupons for Olive Garden with a far better offer than the one on your coin, which wipes out its value. So I can't make you an offer. Thanks for bringing it in.”

Russell: (seething with impotent fury) “Fuck you.”

[Russell stalks towards the exit, through the waist-deep drool that now fills the entire shop. In the background Big Hoss can be heard offering forty bucks for the original Noah's ark.]

[Post valuation interview in the parking lot, with a security guard hovering out of focus in the background]

Russell: “I was disappointed that Rick wasn't able to make me an offer for my brothel token and that he lied about its value. I have given his shop a one-star review online. Please support my PAC to legalise prostration and remember to vote for me on America's Got Talent.”

It looks like this was too generous to Russ, they didn't give him anywhere NEAR that level of attention.

Didn't answer his emails but he went anyway relying on their public representations... Russ, do you really want to lose another lawsuit?

 

[Tobias]

True, but that's because they're actually made of silver. They sell similar coins (both solid silver and gold available) at the Gold & Silver as souvenirs that have the Old Man's face on them. Russhole's bronze "I am a loser who has to pay to get laid" brothel token wouldn't even be worth melting down to recycle.

The key here is my faith in Russell understanding that certain metals have certain values is precisely 0 and I can't help but have a giggle at that.

Just imagining the sheer amount of seethe at seeing someone selling a Kiwi Coin while he has his worthless adult chuck-e-cheese token is funny to me.