- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Of course Tess is confused by basic anatomy. She has an ass on her chest, she thinks that 10 miles of bad road on her face looks “dewy”, and can’t see her vagina without a sequence of mirrors and a team of sherpas.
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2021
No one else get a very funny image of tess re doing the infamous baywatch slow mo run but it's ina scootypuff down an aisle of Walmart with heavy good vehicle sirens going off and cake shelves trembling like the rex Jurassic Park around her?
Your Scorpio and cancer tattoo thing is also so undoubtedly on the money. How cringe. I love that for her. It would be almost poetic should the fable of the frog and the scorpion come true.
That skin. I don't know how many times I can type out how horrifying it is. But anyone touching her must get a grease print of her jowls like a toddlers sticky hand on glass. Shudder....
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2019
It's really nice to see her half brother playing with Bowie. I'm happy that he was able to get some quality bonding time in with his male relatives, especially considering his father doesn't give a fuck.
Unfortunately Tess is going to fuck it up.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2017
Are you talking about her (very visible) underwear?
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2020
Hypothesis: as time passes, Tess’s skin gets noticeably worse. Corresponding with her visibly deteriorating skin, her narcissistic need to project success and confidence compel her to bring up and brag about her skins quality, adoration and aspiration. This leads to a predictable cycle.
First, Tess notices her bad skin. This upsets her and leads her to slather on some trendy lotion that also pays her a few shekels. When the zit of the day calms down, she feels the glow. She then posts a photo or video with her visibly greasy, conjested and enflamed face on display. Some genetic abomination lifts their hump brow enough to see the glint of her baconique complexion and tells Tess her skin is glowing. She then feels validated over her earlier bad feelings over her greasetrap, and smugly accepts her Oscar award with all the grace of Sally Field. She then must explain to the noble peasants the origin of her glow- spin the wheel if its going to be credited to her Botox, her joy and strength to leave aboose, her skincare products or her Pilates habit.
First, Tess notices her bad skin. This upsets her and leads her to slather on some trendy lotion that also pays her a few shekels. When the zit of the day calms down, she feels the glow. She then posts a photo or video with her visibly greasy, conjested and enflamed face on display. Some genetic abomination lifts their hump brow enough to see the glint of her baconique complexion and tells Tess her skin is glowing. She then feels validated over her earlier bad feelings over her greasetrap, and smugly accepts her Oscar award with all the grace of Sally Field. She then must explain to the noble peasants the origin of her glow- spin the wheel if its going to be credited to her Botox, her joy and strength to leave aboose, her skincare products or her Pilates habit.
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- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
Tess posted more repeats of her in underwear...
... to deal with the trauma of Bowie going to kindergarten. I really hope none of the other kids find out Bowie is in pull-ups; but the embarrassment might finally be enough for him to train himself. Ryann's child neglect is really something to behold; she was always able to snag a man to raise Rylee in her days as a younger fat.
She's reminiscing about the days of 2019, when she had her last actual moddle gig. London student designers, invite her back please!
She gets her hair and eyebrows done, trying to make a big deal of being attended to by JVN's former assistantand current friend. Her skin is appalling. Tess, you need to wear makeup if you plan to take photos of yourself.
She's hoarding up more tchotchkies for her sugar baby den. She still hasn't givena house tour, probably because her SD absolutely refuses to allow it.
... to deal with the trauma of Bowie going to kindergarten. I really hope none of the other kids find out Bowie is in pull-ups; but the embarrassment might finally be enough for him to train himself. Ryann's child neglect is really something to behold; she was always able to snag a man to raise Rylee in her days as a younger fat.
She's reminiscing about the days of 2019, when she had her last actual moddle gig. London student designers, invite her back please!
She gets her hair and eyebrows done, trying to make a big deal of being attended to by JVN's former assistantand current friend. Her skin is appalling. Tess, you need to wear makeup if you plan to take photos of yourself.
She's hoarding up more tchotchkies for her sugar baby den. She still hasn't givena house tour, probably because her SD absolutely refuses to allow it.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Her ass starts halfway up her back, jfc
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2017
Her 'cleavage' looks more like an ass than her actual ass.
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2021
Say something nice (at all) about Tess challenge- her eyebrows are the only part of her face and body that isn’t horrifying.
Unfortunately eyebrows can’t save a deathfat from perpetually being disgusting, but there’s that.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
Fuuuuuuck.
Can’t deep dive due to job keeping me from my computer. But the following is evident while mobile-fagging.
Where the actual fuck did her panty line go? It’s clearly visible in all areas except her left leg. It’s almost as if it’s been smudges out of existence with a plethora of cellulite lumps.
The smudge here is painful. Nowhere on this planet does light work this way. M’thinks the filter in its desperation to smooth lumpy shit took color from elevated lumps and merged them for the more brilliant ‘knee’ and brought the darker color from between her lumpy tree trunks to make the shadowy area directly above it.
There’s a lot to unpack here. The boxed area… what the hell is up with the insane pixilation as compared to the rest of her outfit? Filter die due to her lard wiggling about as she shifted her position? Artifacing due to the filter trying to keep up?
And the arrows are pointing at lines. Straight dark lines. Which point at the filter likely attempting to overlapping the colors to get rid of tattoo show-through as, well, you can clearly see that she’s wearing dark panties through her sausage casing.
It wouldn’t be an altered Tess picture without an unnatural straight line.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2017
I thought being potty trained was a *requirement* for kindergarten except for special Ed kids? How tf did she enroll him?
Well this is a good ad for whatever brand this is given those are some hard workin' panties.
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2021
AFAIK being mostly potty trained (ideally entirely potty trained since they’re fucking kindergartners) is a required thing for kindergarten.
I’m sure every once in a while kindergarten teachers have to deal with accidents, but they’re sure not changing diapers or standing watch to supervise bathroom use.
He might just be wearing pull-ups at night at this point which is still depressing but I think would make him acceptable for kindergarten.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2020
A lot of narcissistic women just want to have babies (they make great accessories) rather than raise children. Kelly Lenza and Amy Ramadan are other examples of narcs whose kids are screwed because of the lack of proper child rearing.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
Didn't she just get her hair done? Or is this normal frequency for LA?
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
This is the same woman who has no problem driving several hours round trip for a $100 champagne cake. Tess loves to floss and flex even though she’s in major debt to the IRS and living on the dime of a CakeDaddy that can and will dump her for a younger & hotter CakeWhale at any moment. Apparently she’s also not bothered by the fact that all that heat, chemicals, and traction is damaging her hair/scalp.
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2021
These jowls (also this-ass)
Tess “pretty face privilege” Ho
Rylee sneaking out from the back doors to avoid this embodiment of embarrassment (also, fun to compare this one with the pic above - dem chickbounz)
Tess “pretty face privilege” Ho
Rylee sneaking out from the back doors to avoid this embodiment of embarrassment (also, fun to compare this one with the pic above - dem chickbounz)
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2020
I'm starting to think Tess may have rosacea.
Looks pretty similar to this.
Looks pretty similar to this.
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2020
She wore this to home goods?
OMG
what a skank. There's a reason they're called sports bras. You wear them under shirts etc. She looks like trailer trash that shops at Walmart at 2am.
I'm in shock, I know I shouldn't be surprised about anything she does but christ on a cracker.
PS I don't think Bowie is in pull-ups anymore.
For his sake. Life is going to be hard enough for him when his friends find his mom's Instagram.
OMG
what a skank. There's a reason they're called sports bras. You wear them under shirts etc. She looks like trailer trash that shops at Walmart at 2am. I'm in shock, I know I shouldn't be surprised about anything she does but christ on a cracker.
PS I don't think Bowie is in pull-ups anymore.
For his sake. Life is going to be hard enough for him when his friends find his mom's Instagram.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2018
So everyone is clear on where their sternum is. Its that green area in the pic below.
Medical professionals have spoken out out obesity and sternum issues. When it comes to life giving CPR, it can be so difficult to find the sternum and effectively give chest compressions on such people, because of the layers of fat. All that fat makes those compressions less effective.
And she definitely smoothed out the cellulite with some photoshopping in that awful red getup from fatletics. Its hilarious how he clothes are stretched so much on her that they become translucent and all her awful tattoos show. It makes the clothing look cheap and trashy wheras a model in th proper size does not have that issue.
I have the feeling the keep tess on as an ambassador so they can say to other faties " look , if tess holiday can fit her fat ass into them then so can you!"
Like when those infomercials take their product and give it to someone to try to destroy to prove how strong it is. Tess is that person who was handed product knowing she will test the strength of that fabric and seams to the limit and beyond.
Heres to hoping my pic is not page. size cuz i dont want to shit up the page.
Medical professionals have spoken out out obesity and sternum issues. When it comes to life giving CPR, it can be so difficult to find the sternum and effectively give chest compressions on such people, because of the layers of fat. All that fat makes those compressions less effective.
And she definitely smoothed out the cellulite with some photoshopping in that awful red getup from fatletics. Its hilarious how he clothes are stretched so much on her that they become translucent and all her awful tattoos show. It makes the clothing look cheap and trashy wheras a model in th proper size does not have that issue.
I have the feeling the keep tess on as an ambassador so they can say to other faties " look , if tess holiday can fit her fat ass into them then so can you!"
Like when those infomercials take their product and give it to someone to try to destroy to prove how strong it is. Tess is that person who was handed product knowing she will test the strength of that fabric and seams to the limit and beyond.
Heres to hoping my pic is not page. size cuz i dont want to shit up the page.
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