DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[JPG]

Stay strong DSP paymasters, he will actually be forced to do something, playing with members? Opening up a members discord? All those things that were too much effort (because he was getting what he wanted already) will soon be on the table.

 

[100% VIRGIN M00TY]

Man it's been so long since we have had this level of toxicity and salt. It's so nice to see the real Phil again. I'm looking forward to the pig logic he will tweet on his day off to explain why the begathon is going to happen.

 

[Iron Father]

13 years of "improv commentary" and all he can do is robot-laugh between moments of begging and dead air.

 

[JPG]

Man it's been so long since we have had this level of toxicity and salt. It's so nice to see the real Phil again. I'm looking forward to the pig logic he will tweet on his day off to explain why the begathon is going to happen.

"I realise I maybe was a little too harsh the other night with my outburst. As an apology, to you the fans, I'll do the marathon. If you enjoy my content please consider tipping"

 

[Fapcop]

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I love how the DSP's community is self regulating.
- Trolls plus regular people are commenting negatively
- wheelchairs come in and pat DSP on the head "you did nothing wrong Phil"
- Phil gets mad at trolls and feeds his ego with the sweet talk from the wheelchairs
- Phil is convinced he does nothing wrong, every criticism is trolling
- Wheelchairs support shidding and farding and burbing on stream
- Non-wheelchairs get repulsed and leave the streams.
I think Phil needs a "Stop patronizing me." moment to escape from the imaginary jail that he is in.
His own doom are the wheelchairs that support him and ofc the mental institute that he managed to transform his streaming environment into.

Spoiler: sneed

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Ya know, I have a sneaking suspicion that Jamie “Boom Boom” Trooner who suggests that Phil doesn’t change a thing, and his fans need to take classes in being better fans, might be a troll!

Phil’s best days are obviously behind him, but there’s no reason why he couldn’t continue streaming and making a living of it for at least some years.

Lots of sensible suggestions: Even the most basic stuff like: Try new things, find a niche, don’t be a major league douchebag, would help Phil.

Unfortunately he’s an irredeemable narcissist who always knows better because he’s been doing it for X years.

It’s really like talking to a TV repairman who goes “ACK ACK ACK! What are you talking about you dumbfuck! I’ve been repairing TVs for 13 years! Don’t you think I know what I’m doing” when you gently suggest he might want to diversify a little.

His laughter in that video actually sounds (sort of) genuine. If you didn't know what kind of person Phil was before, you definitely do now.

Old “space Nazi” Phil was 100% more entertaining than he is now.

Yeah the jokes may be puerile and not exactly CURRENT YEAR-material, but at least he’s having fun and doing something else beyond reading what’s on the screen and going: “Very cool!”

Space Nazi Phil may not exactly be sponsorsship material (But then again: Phil would never be sponsorship material thanks to his low number of viewers), but if he would have the same kind of energy and enjoyment in his streams today, he could easily double or triple his number of viewers.

If he could just manage not to chase them away by being a toxic dick, he’d be golden!

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Great salt over being a boring twat. It's insane how much he fails to understand both the value of money and the actual fanbase that he has. Mind blowing. Being a member does nothing for you anyway, he's pushing it simply to boost his ego and in hopes people forget to cancel the membership.
Now lads, imagine the salt if he doesn't hit the members goal for his exceptional teenage girl halloween stream. One can only hope.

Edit: To be fair he already dresses up like a clown for 150$, so there is no need to become a member. For as little as 150$ you can force him to be a gay cowboy, gay nazi/dictator, gay bloke with fake hair hat, and gay fat soldier. Honestly lads, possibilities are endless.
Just imagine, Halloween stream with no decorations and he's sitting there in aviators, platinum vest and dictator hat claiming how he really wanted to dress up but couldn't.

 

[Fapcop]

Stay strong DSP paymasters, he will actually be forced to do something, playing with members? Opening up a members discord? All those things that were too much effort (because he was getting what he wanted already) will soon be on the table.

It’ll be a tough battle between the three major salty pillars of DSPs personality. Greed vs. ego vs. laziness.

Phil knows he needs to do shit to bring in more money.

But all you’re suggesting means WORK and this is where Phil’s laziness will groan and go “WTF DOOD! You’re already working your ass off EIGHT HOURS A DAY!”

The one that would require the least amount of work is playing with fans, since it’s already basically what he’s doing.

But this is where Phil’s ego will protest vociferously: “FUCK OFF! Letting trolls and detractors INTO OUA STREAM and being complete SHITHEADS?! How about we just let people kick us in the balls for 5$ a pop?!”

(As you may recall, Phil has already discussed with his fans how “He’d love to play with them, but it’s JUST NOT POSSIBLE because of trolls.”)

TLDR: Tonight will no doubt be a long, gin fueled night of contemplation for Phil, as his greed, his laziness and his ego battle it out.

It’ll be interesting to see the outcome in the upcoming days.

 

[Stephen Hawking]

Great salt over being a boring twat. It's insane how much he fails to understand both the value of money and the actual fanbase that he has. Mind blowing. Being a member does nothing for you anyway, he's pushing it simply to boost his ego and in hopes people forget to cancel the membership.
Now lads, imagine the salt if he doesn't hit the members goal for his exceptional teenage girl halloween stream. One can only hope.

Phil only needs 7 new members to hit his new goal but he said it himself that "alot will be gone by tomorrow"

Even Phil knows these boosted subs were just sock accounts and nobody new will subscribe.

The "Dwindling Saga" has begun. Be prepared for even more begging and rants like this stream.

 

[Mr. Brown]

This was what happens on just ONE stream from a certain person not donate.

We're going to have this every night once the whales find something more interesting to do with their money, I suggest hookers.

 

[samovski]

Phil only needs 7 new members to hit his new goal but he said it himself that "alot will be gone by tomorrow"

Even Phil knows these boosted subs were just sock accounts and nobody new will subscribe.

The "Dwindling Saga" has begun. Be prepared for even more begging and rants like this stream.

The idea that the begging will somehow get even worse is hilarious, scary and overwhelmingly sad in equal parts. But he always finds a way to make himself less likeable, so I don't doubt it.

 

[Fapcop]

Great salt over being a boring twat. It's insane how much he fails to understand both the value of money and the actual fanbase that he has. Mind blowing.

You want mind blowing? Consider Phil’s conviction that his fans are willing to pay hundreds of dollars collectively to see him scarf down a burger and say the same three phrases: “It’s good! Very good!”, “Very Flavorful!”, “Robust! Lots of flavors!”

Being a member does nothing for you anyway, he's pushing it simply to boost his ego and in hopes people forget to cancel the membership.
Now lads, imagine the salt if he doesn't hit the members goal for his exceptional teenage girl halloween stream. One can only hope.

I can’t help but remember a phrase from tonight’s rant. “We’ve hit the monthly goal EVERY YEAR for the Halloween “marathon”!”

(“Marathon” because unlike an actual marathon where you sit for X hours or until you finish, “Marathon” in DSP speak means: “A regular stream with breaks, just an hour or two longer”.)

Anyways, the meltdown if DSP doesn’t reach the goal will truly be epic. We’re talking a major panic attack level psychological earthquake for Phil if he phails.

Aim high DSP! Don’t listen to da tractors! Aim high!

EDIT: Am I the only one who got major lulz from the uniquely Philian mix of “pissy and mad” and “Papa isn’t mad! Papa is disappointed!”

Oh well! It is what it is I guess!

 

[whirly]

"the trolls say I'm not entertaining. then why are you here?"

ha ha ha

 

[Iron Hamster]

Wow, that is incredibly desperate and sad to lower it from 275 to 241 in 3 days. Even for Phil. Why does he need the membership goal just to eat a bunch of food on stream?!

He's trying to build the set-it-and-forget-it scam of memberships plus he'll guilt tip them every stream.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Soon Phil will lead his people in exodus from the Godforsaken plains of YouTube and into the glorious oasis that is Twitch.

There his people will multiply and gift subs in worship to their Lord and Saviour, who took them away from the mean, nasty YouTube who obviously wanted Phil to fail. He will settle his people on the rich banks of the Affiliate River, and lay his head to rest into the warm embrace of Twitch, who never did anything wrong guys, it was just a big misunderstanding.

So it is written.

 

[NotValKilmer]

Man it's been so long since we have had this level of toxicity and salt. It's so nice to see the real Phil again. I'm looking forward to the pig logic he will tweet on his day off to explain why the begathon is going to happen.

Alotta peepul behind da scenes said "Phil we really want this marathon despite the membership goal. We also feel like you should ask for $1000 to $1500 in crowdfunding cause we really wanna support you!"

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Phil knows he needs to do shit to bring in more money.

But all you’re suggesting means WORK and this is where Phil’s laziness will groan and go “WTF DOOD! You’re already working your ass off EIGHT HOURS A DAY!”

Even now that he's panicking like crazy I highly doubt the lazy pig will bring in tangible rewards to his dumb paypig members. Motherfucker can't even do the bare minimum of setting up a members-only Discord server, anything more complex like members multiplayer streams, exclusive streams for members etc. might as well be quantum physics as far as he's concerned. He can't think in the long term, he only uses short-term tactics when those stupid paypigs withhold khantributions which are: 1. Beg harder 2. Debase yourself even further. Hell, maybe we'll see the return of the Yoshi hat if he gets really desperate, but he'd never think of anything which would benefit him in the long term.

Another big thing about his schizorant yesterday is him being mad that people want some sort of transactional value for becoming members, a repeat of when he pushed the Patreon after losing partnership and discovered that people aren't biting. He is too fucking entitled to do even the bare minimum to give back to people who would go out of their way to support him on Patreon or as Youtube members. Every fucking khantent creator does at least SOMETHING for their patrons or members, be it exclusive access or early access to their content, exclusive Q&As, whatever. I'm sure even the sleaziest e-thots send pictures of their feet and dirty underwear to their horny paypiggies, while Phil, again, can't even set up a fucking members-only Discord server.

He claims it was never about that, it was always about purely just supporting him, it was never about anything transactional, the only value YOU, YES YOU are supposed to get from giving him at least 5 buxxx a month is being content in the knowledge that Phil can continue poorly playing video games on the internet. In that case what he's doing isn't a business like he often pretends it is, it's a fucking charity set up specifically so a fat, small-souled, narcissistic retard can mishandle money. Actual charities give more back to people who donate than Phil, every charity I donated you at least sent me a "thank you" card in the mail, Phil wouldn't be bothered to do even that.

 

[Iron Hamster]

"If you don't become a member you are outright telling me that you don't want me to continue!"

Yes..........but will you take the hint?

LOL. "YOU GOTTA ADAPT WITH THE CHANGES."

HE'S TELLING THE VIEWERS THEY HAVE TO CHANGE.

"I'm not trying to guilt-trip anyone"

Holy fuck I'm done. I can't.

Edit: "It's about trying to get me back to where I was."

"I need to convince you guys that it's not about the benefits, but it's about supporting me."
"I'm literally scraping by"
"Oh I can do is be positive..."

"God forbid I try to respect you guys and talk honestly with you."

HOLY FUCK.

I keep wondering why these lines actually kind of bore me and I just realized it's because I've heard or read every one of them in relation to an MLM or ponzi scheme. Though the benefits line proves he's failing as a scammer too.

 

[Swallow Moon]

Same energy.

I don't understand what he is expecting here in the Pokémon rant. In the recent rant, at least it's clear what he is aiming for, which is everyone watching to give him money (become members).

But in the Pokémon rant, what are his viewers meant to do? They are already watching, while the streamer they are trying to watch play a game is complaining about other people not watching. Should they call their friends and family and tell them to watch this streamer barely playing a game?

Phil should be glad detractors exist, because we might be the only people who would subject anyone they know to DSP's khantent.

 

[Iron Hamster]

FOUR. DOLLARS. A MONTH. He went full Bad Bunny on his audience

EA feels the same way about $30 a year and that's only $2.50/mo.

"People need to stop thinking 'what benefit do I get? I don't get to use the emotes in other channels', this is consistent money for me, I need those those subs" Does this retard realize that this is part and parcel of streaming? Audiences are fickle and not stable nor consistent. He seriously still does not understand streaming culture, even after all these years.

#Ihaveabusinessdegree fails at understanding that people paying for something actually expect to get...........something.

Remember his ego, though. It took a bruising tonight--he dropped from 275 to 241 and needed a whopping 7 memberships to hit the handicapped goal. Still couldn't do it.

So 200 then so it looks like he's successful in exceeding the goal.

 

[Fapcop]

Guys... On a scale from 1 to 10 (Derich/CWC Level)...

How autistic would I be if I wrote a one man play based on tonight’s events?

THE LONG NIGHT OF PHILIP BURNELL

After an evening of hitting the gin hehvily, Phil is awoken at the hour of the wolf by his laziness, his greed and his ego.

All discussing with him what went wrong and what to do next.