DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

Status
Not open for further replies.
"We're at 233 members! Only 8 more, I know we can do it!"
2 Seconds later...
"Guys, we're only at $14 tonight in tips. $14. If you're already a member, please consider tipping, I really need the help. We're not even at the Gunnar glasses."

Pick a lane, parasite. Begging out of both sides of your mouth makes you look like a detractor parody of yourself.
So, he looks like a reflection of himself, then?

Salty pig didn't hit the old daily tips goal of $200 total, that was the real loss because that's Scopely money.
 
So if he wanted to even apply for affiliate, he would need to stream for a month prior to it? I thought it was like an achievement in a game that doesn't get lost once obtained.
Twitch manually removed his affiliate status when they took away his partner status. Not 100% sure what that means (in terms of him getting back in the program) but I know for sure both were taken from him which is why he couldn't monetize because even affiliates can do that.

Edit for clarity.
 
Last edited:
Twitch manually removed his affiliate status when they took away his partner status. Not 100% sure what that means but I know for sure both were taken from him which is why he couldn't monetize because even affiliates can do that.
Sounds like Twitch views DSP as a big stinky doody and they flushed him down the toilet
 
A member's only discord is such an easy, low-effort value-add for memberships, but Phil is so God damn lazy that he wouldn't make the effort to bend over and pick up free money on the ground. You're telling me the dentheads and the people who 'ironically' role play as dentheads in Phil's YT chat have NO interest in carrying on their denthead conversations outside of stream hours? It would take no more than a few hours to set up (including a comprehensive auto-moderation bot, emotes, YT membership integration) and he could probably outsource most of the work to one of his paypig moderators. He could have easily hit the member goal if he set this discord up a week ago, shilled it during his pre-stream, and bothered to make a personal appearance in the chat channels once in a while to respond to people.

It's just pure entitlement. He made $X with Y effort on Twitch. Now he makes $X-$Z with Y effort on YT. Instead of putting in extra effort, he's berating the dwindling viewer base for failing to make up the difference. He's resigned himself to complaining about making less money for doing the same thing instead of changing anything.
He already has a dead messageboard they won't post on. You really think they'll post on a discord where anything not directed at fellating the pig will be removed?
 
As for the games; Baldur's Gate, Planescape: Torment, and Daggerfall would be the first his cult would prostrate themselves for until he plays them.
Thankfully P:T has a scantily-clad tiefling babe and succubus (chaste, but he wouldn’t know that) which ought to be more than enough to keep him away. Of course he could also just play the Switch port.

PSA: do not in any way purchase or play the Switch port of classic isometric CRPG Planescape: Torment.

As for the complexity of certain games, he doesn’t have to play those, although I would love to watch him fuck around with something like DOSBox if for no other reason than me wanting to share my pain with others.

I know it’s Phil and he regularly spits in the face of all logic but it really makes no sense to me. Vtubers do their thing from midrange laptops which have to process their rig in real time, run the game and stream footage simultaneously. The technology is there and it is not difficult to come by, especially for a childless recluse living in America who goes nowhere, does nothing and makes six figures a year. He doesn’t even need to single out any one strategy; just examine what other groups of streamers are doing and try one or two things they do and see if it works for him.

I wasn’t kidding about that teenage Filipino girl comment, either. You don’t even need to have a native grasp of the English language to draw Western audiences. That’s how low the bar is, how accepting the audience is and how high the demand is for streamers who have just a smidgen of charisma and actually want to hang out with other people.

In short, all Phil has to do is not act exactly as he does now, and that is beyond either his capacity or desire to improve or both, and I’d say that’s pitiable but the man is such an asshole on top of everything else that I can’t bring myself to feel bad for him in any real way.
 
How will he get it? Affiliate requires x number of streams y number of hours streamed and z number of average viewers.

I don't think you can shortcut to affiliate just because you used to have partnership.

Edit: the criteria is really low for affiliate. DSP will hit this but I think it still takes 30 days to complete
View attachment 2498475
I'm assuming Phil would get accepted because he streamed there for so long and still has followers. Maybe not, I don't know.

Also, interesting that Twitch manually removed Phil's affiliate status. That makes me think the reason Phil told us that he used slurs and bad language is likely bullshit. Banning or a suspension would be more fitting than that. It lends more credence to the 24-hour rule that he couldn't re-upload on Youtube that many have said... and it would make sense that Phil wouldn't admit to that because he'd look incredibly stupid for ruining his Twitch partnership so he could make fitty cents a video with his dogshit Youtube views.
 
That was a lot of pages but I want to point out one dumb thing.

IMPROV! You don't even need to have taken a single class in acting to know that one of the most valuable rules of thumb is "yes, and". "Yes, and" means that you engage and respond by agreeing (or accepting) the input, and then building on top of it. It allows dialogue and scenes to keep going without the conversation going dead or landing with a thud.

Now let's see how DSP deals with things:

Chat member: What do you think of X? DSP: Never heard of it.
Chat member: Do you like Y? DSP: Never heard of it.
Chat member: Maybe you could do Z on your streams! DSP: No.
Chat member: What kind of music do you like? DSP: I don't listen to music.
Chat member: What do we get if we subscribe? DSP: Nothing.
Something happens in a game. DSP: That's not realistic.
Someone says something in a game. DSP: Nu hu hu.
Someone beats DSP in Street Fighter. DSP: That literally didn't happen.
A game gives him options and variety. DSP: Whu-what do I do?

Someone who's a master of improvisation should be able to bounce each of these off themselves and engage people with the next thing they say, allowing the commentary and chat interaction to flourish. DSP can't, because despite being a master of improvisation, he doesn't know one of the most fundamental rules of it.
That or Dave just going with the joke/weird question. Example: a wheelchair asked Dave if he would wear linguine. Stupid question, but whatever. A normal streamer would've laughed and went "Weird question, but the answer is no. Thanks for the tip." Dave? No! Dave goes full on Chernobyl and bans the dude. Dave can't improv if it means Emerald7 comes back and gives Dave $13,000 worth of YT memberships.
 
Thankfully P:T has a scantily-clad tiefling babe and succubus (chaste, but he wouldn’t know that) which ought to be more than enough to keep him away. Of course he could also just play the Switch port.

PSA: do not in any way purchase or play the Switch port of classic isometric CRPG Planescape: Torment.

As for the complexity of certain games, he doesn’t have to play those, although I would love to watch him fuck around with something like DOSBox if for no other reason than me wanting to share my pain with others.

I know it’s Phil and he regularly spits in the face of all logic but it really makes no sense to me. Vtubers do their thing from midrange laptops which have to process their rig in real time, run the game and stream footage simultaneously. The technology is there and it is not difficult to come by, especially for a childless recluse living in America who goes nowhere, does nothing and makes six figures a year. He doesn’t even need to single out any one strategy; just examine what other groups of streamers are doing and try one or two things they do and see if it works for him.

I wasn’t kidding about that teenage Filipino girl comment, either. You don’t even need to have a native grasp of the English language to draw Western audiences. That’s how low the bar is, how accepting the audience is and how high the demand is for streamers who have just a smidgen of charisma and actually want to hang out with other people.

In short, all Phil has to do is not act exactly as he does now, and that is beyond either his capacity or desire to improve or both, and I’d say that’s pitiable but the man is such an asshole on top of everything else that I can’t bring myself to feel bad for him in any real way.
Dude DSP would bail from Torment so fast.

"TOO MUCH READING MAN!"
 
That or Dave just going with the joke/weird question. Example: a wheelchair asked Dave if he would wear linguine. Stupid question, but whatever. A normal streamer would've laughed and went "Weird question, but the answer is no. Thanks for the tip." Dave? No! Dave goes full on Chernobyl and bans the dude. Dave can't improv if it means Emerald7 comes back and gives Dave $13,000 worth of YT memberships.

Just one way to "yes, and" that question that came to mind instantly: "Linguine? That is so last fall. Everyone in Milan is wearing tortellini this season." You're responding to the question as if it's legit ("yes"), then adding to the scenario in an unexpected way ("and"). It really doesn't require much effort to take a comment like that and say something that—if not intentionally funny—is something that would make someone chuckle.

EDIT: Or if you're willing to poke a bit more fun at yourself, pretend you read it as "lingerie". Then: "Oh totally, I enjoy a comfortable bra, some fancy stockings—oh, oh you said 'linguine'." This stuff isn't hard, you just have to stretch your imagination a bit, which is hard when you're a bitter, drunk gambling addict.
 
He can do dual broadcasting. Someone suggested it when he was kicked out of partnership/affiliate but he didn't do it for some reason.
"But dood my computer is maxing out with just one stream!"

Again this is a big part of DSP not going back I think people are missing along with his ego: He's a lazy piece of shit and the effort it would take him is likely more than he's willing IF Twitch will even take him back.
 
Last edited:
Far be from me to give DSP advice I know he would never take but: If he's looking for a new game and niche to exploit that he could mine for months he should make good on his anti-Blizzard stand by joining the wave of former WoW streamers that started playing FFXIV since the WoW drama started about a month ago.

It'd draw new viewers as it has a lot of attention right now since it has overtaken WoW as the biggest MMO. It'd please the anime coomers in his audience. It'd make the trolls happy and play into his victim narrative while reinforcing the 'us vs them' mentality among the paypigs. And best of all, from his perspective, it's incredibly easy to waste time in and get carried by your group in the duty finder when you do need to group.

Of course, there are myriad reasons he'd never do this. But I genuinely think it would the closest thing to 'the game' that could "save the stream".
If he truly thinks that the reason people are not watching him is because of the games and he wants to get more viewers he should just go to Twitch and see what kind of games people are watching. Then he can eliminate whatever the skill based games are like dota, counterstrike, whatever else. Then just go through them and see if something else resonates.

I mean if he really thinks it's the game's fault. My guess is he doesn't think that at all, and is just saying that to save face. If he thought it was the game and he really really wanted to hit that tips / sub goal he wouldn't have played Psychonauts 2. He wouldn't keep playing shit like New Vegas and Flight Simulator.

Other people are streaming games on this release schedule and doing just fine. There's people doing it without HD cameras and without green screens, some without cameras at all. None of that shit will improve his stream. I doubt the game will either, unless it's something special that makes him a better streamer - such a game probably does exist that makes him more entertaining, but he's too stupid and too stubborn to find it.
 
Slow day at work so I'm crawling through that shit storm last night. He's drowning in denial. Claims he had 900 members on Twitch. Currently has 234 on YouTube. 900-234 = 666.

DSP had 900 subs on Twitch. OK. How many viewers did he have per stream? 1,500 or the same as on YouTube?
Phil had the most bloated sub to viewer ratio I had ever seen on Twitch by far. There were many months where Phil would have 1000+ subs but average around 400 viewers at best. The number of members he has on YouTube now are probably the closest we have seen Phil to a real sub count ever, and I still suspect that his member count is slightly inflated by 20 or so.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back