Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Next: Woggy congratulates young Jessica on becoming a woman and offers her hugs and chocolates. "And make sure you change your sanitary pad every 3-4 hours so that you don't smell like rotten meat! Tee-hee-hee!"

Im not sure Hot Cherie has the technical know-how to pull off a convincing Yaniv-in-a-Wogglesuit animated figure, but if she did this would actually be her greatest video yet.

 

[Miss Misery]

So.. only rich people have turkey? How pathetically poor do you have to be to not be able to afford turkey? I know I'm overthinking this but there are times that Cynthia makes my head hurt with how stupid she is.

She grew up with a geriatric father and an inbred Kentucky gold-digger mother who got nothing but half of Chester the Molester's worthless, bedbug-ridden, pay-by-the-hour, no-tell motel after he died in his 80s (when Cherie was a pre-teen, iirc).

Maybe she DOES think only rich people have turkey because she never had it herself. I bet her dead half-sister Portia ate turkey all the time.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

The problem is that everybody says he's smart but he never actually displays anything that is actually smart. The issue is to write a smart character you yourself need to be smart. And if there's a word that describes Cynthia, "smart" is not one of them.

Judging by how she describes intelligence in her "values of intelligence" she doesn't even know what it means to be smart. What she describes is "how to be a good person" or if you stretch it - as "values of emotional intelligence" but it still has nothing to do with intellectual proficiency.

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

I just learned of this lady and she's quickly becoming one of my favorite cows. She thinks she's so smart but she doesn't seem to realize or at least can't admit to the farms that she's desperate. Desperate in multiple ways. Desperate to seem smart, desperate to get this cockroach in front of eyes, and desperate for friends.

And because of this, she gets preyed on by scammers. Because of this, she comes on this site spouting illogical and idiotic nonsense time after time because this is one of the only places she gets actual interaction that's not from the occasional coffee shop barista or cashier and it's a place where she can pretend to feel superior for once.

The funny thing is that this cockroach could actually be interesting in the right hands but she's just so bad that she falls on her face every single time.

 

[Cr1ms0n_&_C10v3r]

She grew up with a geriatric father and an inbred Kentucky gold-digger mother who got nothing but half of Chester the Molester's worthless, bedbug-ridden, pay-by-the-hour, no-tell motel after he died in his 80s (when Cherie was a pre-teen, iirc).

Maybe she DOES think only rich people have turkey because she never had it herself. I bet her dead half-sister Portia ate turkey all the time.

Is this actually true? I can't even tell. If so the geriatric father explains the autism...

 

[Overcast]

I just learned of this lady and she's quickly becoming one of my favorite cows. She thinks she's so smart but she doesn't seem to realize or at least can't admit to the farms that she's desperate. Desperate in multiple ways. Desperate to seem smart, desperate to get this cockroach in front of eyes, and desperate for friends.

And because of this, she gets preyed on by scammers. Because of this, she comes on this site spouting illogical and idiotic nonsense time after time because this is one of the only places she gets actual interaction that's not from the occasional coffee shop barista or cashier and it's a place where she can pretend to feel superior for once.

The funny thing is that this cockroach could actually be interesting in the right hands but she's just so bad that she falls on her face every single time.

I always feel a little fuzzy inside every time I see this thread get updated. Something about Cynthia consistently popping up to defend her Woggie and her dumb actions years after this thread has been made makes me smile. It's not often you get something like that.

We miss you @WogglebugLover, please come back.

 

[Miss Misery]

Is this actually true? I can't even tell. If so the geriatric father explains the autism...

Yep. Details are in the thread somewhere.

 

[ZingingCutie43]

And because of this, she gets preyed on by scammers. Because of this, she comes on this site spouting illogical and idiotic nonsense time after time because this is one of the only places she gets actual interaction that's not from the occasional coffee shop barista or cashier and it's a place where she can pretend to feel superior for once.

You can tell youre new here because you seem to think she goes outside and interracts with people. Welcome.

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

You can tell youre new here because you seem to think she goes outside and interracts with people. Welcome.

No, I'm saying that the only interaction she gets is from a cashier saying "Did you find everything okay? Paper or plastic? Cash or card?" and a Starbucks employee saying her name.

She has no one she talks to outside of the internet. The only people she has is a mother she hates (even though they're both deadbeats) and her aunt that gives her tendies money.

I actually read through most of the thread last night and that checks out.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

No, I'm saying that the only interaction she gets is from a cashier saying "Did you find everything okay? Paper or plastic? Cash or card?" and a Starbucks employee saying her name.

She has no one she talks to outside of the internet. The only people she has is a mother she hates (even though they're both deadbeats) and her aunt that gives her tendies money.

I actually read through most of the thread last night and that checks out.

That, and her father being a geriatric, does explain a lot.

It's been said that Cynthia doesn't know how to "human". She's not aware of how people interact or more importantly how people move except in the most basic of senses. Either that or she doesn't care as something like that just gets in the way of her "story".

 

[Miss Misery]

No, I'm saying that the only interaction she gets is from a cashier saying "Did you find everything okay? Paper or plastic? Cash or card?" and a Starbucks employee saying her name.

She has no one she talks to outside of the internet. The only people she has is a mother she hates (even though they're both deadbeats) and her aunt that gives her tendies money.

I actually read through most of the thread last night and that checks out.

Yes and we're saying she doesn't actually leave the house ever.

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

That, and her father being a geriatric, does explain a lot.

It's been said that Cynthia doesn't know how to "human". She's not aware of how people interact or more importantly how people move except in the most basic of senses. Either that or she doesn't care as something like that just gets in the way of her "story".

The issue squarely comes from the fact that she has schizophrenia and autism. Both mess with social skills. If you look at her vlogs, she has a monotone voice and a dead face. This is called "flat affect" which is both a symptom of those conditions.

It's also worse because she dropped out in 9th grade and has been connected to a computer for the remainder of her years so anything that was learned when she was young has probably been erased due to time. And that's if her parents actually encouraged her to socialize at school. But if you look at her parents, it's highly unlikely. Her mother seems to do nothing with her and her father was probably in his late fifties to early sixties (She said he would have been 91 if he were still alive in one of her posts).

Yes and we're saying she doesn't actually leave the house ever.

It could be true. I don't remember her reading how she gets groceries so it may be possible that she simply gets them delivered since she can't drive and doesn't seem to take the bus.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

It could be true. I don't remember her reading how she gets groceries so it may be possible that she simply gets them delivered since she can't drive and doesn't seem to take the bus.

This is all supposition so far on our part for how little she goes outside, but she has implied multiple times that her mother does all her errands for her including possibly cleaning the inside of the apartment (all while denying she is special needs, of course...but acknowledging she is not 'allowed' to open the frontdoor if someone knocks herself). I assumed that probably meant groceries. If you look up the place she lists as living on her patent for the 'company' its not near the center city and is very suburban-townhousy, meaning she probably cant walk to get groceries. And she sure doesn't seem like the kind of person who walks much anyway. Also, being the total troglodyte she seems to be, I wouldnt be surprised if her 'groceries' are just tv dinners and hot pockets.

There is a chance I will be in Columbus this fall and if I have time I might swing by Genoma to see what the outside of the townhouse looks like these days, I.E. if anyone maintains it or whatnot. Though this would be purely observational I also might not do it because I have very strict 'dont pozload my neghole' rules so even taking a photo of the outside strikes me as kinda weird.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

The funny thing is that this cockroach could actually be interesting in the right hands but she's just so bad that she falls on her face every single time.

Of course, humanoid cockroach can be a very interesting character. Either in a serious story or a more whimsical one.
The problem is, Wogglebug lacks any insectoid features and traits - take the name and the antennae away and you have a racial stereotype who thinks he's smarter than he really is and enjoys company of little girls.

 

[Picklechu]

Yes and we're saying she doesn't actually leave the house ever.

Yeah, she only leaves when mommy (or auntie) comes and gets her to take her somewhere, and from what I understand, that's very rare. Maybe therapist/doctor appointments, and that's about it. She's not going to be doing anything where she has to interact with a cashier.

It could be true. I don't remember her reading how she gets groceries so it may be possible that she simply gets them delivered since she can't drive and doesn't seem to take the bus.

Mommy buys her groceries. As someone else said, mommy also cooks, cleans, and does everything for her. Cynthia eats snacks and microwaveable stuff, consumes children's media, works on woggleshit, gets scammed, and sleeps; that's it.

 

[Whiskey Foxtrot]

Older versions of some of the vids currently on her channel, if our mystery archivist is interested. Some of these actually have music (wow!) and seem to use an older Woggle model, as well as one of the previous voices (voiceguy, I think). I've never encountered another cow that deletes, revises, reuploads, and generally just can't leave well enough alone like Cynthia, this thread is absolutely littered with dead links. (ARCHIVE, WOGGLEFUCKERS)

Spoiler: Vintage Wogglecontent

 

[Loona]

 

[Picklechu]

I'm imagining it being like that Sneak King promo game that Burger King gave away around 2006. Instead of being a creepy sex offender (the Burger King) sneaking up on people and giving them a hamburger, you get to play as a creepy sex offender (the Wogglebug) and molest them, abduct them, lay your eggs in them, sing terrifying songs at them, etc.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

20 copies of the new movie sold. There will be a half off dvd special running through September 13th. Now is YOUR CHANCE to collect these EXTREMELY VALUABLE COLLECTIBLES!

 

[Kongo-Müller]

Broke:	Simply relay the coupon code in text form
Woke:	Create a 1:06 minute video to relay the coupon code that could have been gleaned in three seconds from reading the description
Bespoke:	Create a 1:06 minute video that during all that time never ever tells the fucking coupon code and and at the very end be so kind to inform the watchers that they can read it from the video description