- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
Tess is showing off how she wears her Fabletics, this is how she dresses to take her son to school:
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Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2021
> hard for her to look in the mirror right now
Are you fucking kidding me. She can't look at her phone without eye-fucking herself.
I mean, if one of those girls asks her about all those “i look so hawt on my knees, mmm dat ass” or “look at the doughnut dandruff on my tits” pics, would she say it never happened classic narc style? These are such blatant lies, you know, I am actually Tess and just trolling you, envious haters.
Are you fucking kidding me. She can't look at her phone without eye-fucking herself.
I mean, if one of those girls asks her about all those “i look so hawt on my knees, mmm dat ass” or “look at the doughnut dandruff on my tits” pics, would she say it never happened classic narc style? These are such blatant lies, you know, I am actually Tess and just trolling you, envious haters.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
And she wonders why Rylee is mortified of her.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2017
I feel so bad for Bowie when he hits about fifth grade and other kids begin to realize what a freakshow Tess is.
Never mind highschool when she'll be flirting with his friends.
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
seeing her udder positioned right next to a five year old child's head legit broke my sense of size and perspective for a second. yes i know, she's posted shit like this countless times already, but there is something about this specific composition/angle that actually made me properly rethink the scale we're talking about here.
this bitch is enormous. these sad tits, pancake-y as they might be, are enormous. and so is the second hand embarrassment i feel knowing that this is what Bowie's digital footprint is going to be like. forever in the shadow of his mummy's
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
This is a 35 year old mother of two, ladies and gents. Wearing her hair like some 20 year old at a rave circa 1995
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2021
Are those space buns? I seem to recall the wokescolds pitching a ‘cultural appropriation’ fit about some white character in Animal Crossing being given space buns as a hairstyle option. And it would be just awful if Tess’ melanated besties were to cancel her.
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2021
Happy one thousand!
She already has done epic corn rows, she is uncancellable
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2014
Happy one thousand pounds of Hoglliday!
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
Ouch, says 1995 me.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
It is weird I feel like this is borderline child abuse?
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2021
She's going to be either bedbound or dead by the time he's in high school
Autistic Asparagus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2021
Let’s set up a Gofundme for that kid’s therapy bills now.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
I'm not quite sure what they are called, but I do recall that after Bjork started wearing her hair like that in the mid 90s, every basic bitch white girl was copying it.
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
If my mom had no shame and dressed like that, I’d insist on taking the bus to school. That’s horrifying.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
I can see another parent or teacher telling Tess that outfit is not appropriate attire for taking children into their kindergarten class, and her pitching a shitfit on SM, then having her followers attacking the school/doxing the parent or teacher who complained.
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2016
It’s likely why people just avoid her altogether or say only what is absolutely necessary.
Fixed. She’s going to sit on a cake and never come back up.
We should share our favorite Tess moments to celebrateI’ll start:
This pic really cracks me up for some reason. Basically the most basic bitch thing she could do…and she’s proud of it. This post is from November 2019. Not only is Tess about 100 pounds lighter here than she is now, this is a time period that she now claims was a hellscape of cartoonishly supervillanous behavior from her gay husband. Yet all the posts from this time don’t indicate anything of the sort.
My runner up memory was Tess dragging her mom to visit her at Thanksgiving in the midst of a nationwide COVID-19 second wave where they proceed to go to the Madonna Inn and then Slab City. Funny how Tess never talks about her mom or her mother’s side of the family anymore. Now it’s all about dear old dad, who apparently tolerates more of her bullshit and has half-brothers Tess can flirt (read: scare) with.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2014
Speaking of culture shock, you just reminded me of how a Russian talkshow audience reacted to Mess' gargantuan girth! This segment is from 6(!) years ago and is absolutely timeless:
It's right up there with @Umaibae's Girls Channel exposé that stand out the most in my favorite moments!
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
I think Tess is going through some age crisis, partially linked to or even fully kicked off by her excessively creepy flirting with her teen half-brother and his sound rejection of same, leading to Tess wanting to recapture who she was at that same age. The purple hair and puffy pigtails selfie, the space buns, the 90’s inspired clothes…it’s like she’s trying to revert to her teens/twenties.
Tess is pig mad she’s heading into 40 with no more supahmoddle career, saddled with an increasingly independent child she can’t dump on her parents, no boyfriend or anyone who wants to be seen with her in public, burned industry bridges and friends, and the total loss of her “pretty skinny girl face,” the one actual good asset to her name, replaced by bloated face fillers, botox, fucked-up skin and jowls for days. Oh, and an extra 200 lbs at least.
She’s not the young woman who can drop everything and travel anymore. She’s not living relatively carefree and consequence-free as she formerly did, stuffing her face, being rude and arrogant to industry contacts, losing gigs and turning around to pick up another immediately, baking her skin in the sun all day, and getting away with it all.
Consequences (which will never be the same) are now actually coming uncomfortably close…fucking up her health by pigtroughing her way into super morbid obesity is leading to no more model work, no more energy, increased pain, very likely increased health problems, no more dates, way more beard hair…
Getting knocked up twice has led to kids she actually has to raise now (one, anyway) and can’t toss on a sitter anymore. Bowie is going to school and Tess has to be responsible for packing lunches, getting him there and back every day, soon helping with school projects, all the shit parents do. Just wait til he goes through his rebellious phase. She’s not a SUPER HAWT YOUNG MODDLE anymore, she’s a Mum. A fat middle-aged single Mum tied down to a kid. Which is not a terrible thing, but certainly garners a lot less applause and glaaaaamour.
Whoever said she’s been blanking mum’s side of the family and now cozying up to dad’s was spot on. Tess is likely aching for the carefree days of old and thinks dumping Bowie on dad’s family will free her up to recapture her youth. All this recent “muh mentul health” jabber has been increasing, leading to her sobbing fakely about all her maaaaany mental and health issues to two token black “friends” live on social media. Is she setting the framework for Bowie to go live with her dad’s family because Tess wants the best for Bowie but my mental health can’t allow me to do that right now, ow my anorexia, oh my abuse ptsd, bowie needs someone who can be there for him and I just don’t have the spoons a bloo bloo blargle.
Unless she figures out how to drop both Bowie AND 200 lbs of disembodied, greasy yellow fat on dad’s doorstep, those youthful days of her high life are never coming back.