Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Oscar Winner]

Ive been sitting on some of these caps for a couple of days, and now they've piled up.

Spoiler: Mega Dump

This is the second skin product box she's put in her stories, I wasn't quick enough for the first one, I went to SS it and it was alrady gone. It was huge though.

Tess scores a box of hair products JVN just released

She threw something into her stories about "always being asked where she gets her clothes", so she scraped some stuff of the floor of her closet and put it on depop. Check the wrinkles, fluff, deoderant marks, and general wear.

I can smell this top from here.

But pay no attention to the sizes! She's a size 22 and all the brands are wrong.

Judging by what she's listed on depop, wtf is the state of the stuff she donates?

Tess FINALLY posts something in the way of thanking Luca for doing her hair, just a few days after I said she never has... She posted it, he shared it, she deleted it, and posted again because she forgot to add the sadness first time round

This is where she announced she felt like shit and was going to do a live to talk about it, I missed the text though.

Just before that, she wasn't sad though. She got flowers, shared compliments she'd apparently recieved

and had a chat with this chick (the one who brought the beach body article to Tess' attention) about how amazing her life is. Capped this one 48 hours ago. Did she just wake up the next day and decide to cry on Insta about her life not being so amazing after all? What changed in that time?

Spoiler: Shits & giggles

I love how a full size Miss Piggy shows up, and they both cop side-eye from her drag queen tattoo lurking in the background

Maybe I'm awful, but I was laughing. It just looked like she was trying to make herself cry tbh


The comments though.. these people walk among us?!

Stress makes you fat

She will feel better once she gains back the weight she lost

Tess has yet another latte while reading comments hours later

Sped. No other explanation.

Literal lol about Bowies apparently literal dad, literal life partner of Tess, and literal baby daddy. Get a literal dictionary.

She's also changed her insta to 'Hot dog Restaurant', after realising it's not very classy saying 'joint'
And has now added pronouns to be like the cool kids.


There were some vids of her doing a workout in her stories that I SS'd that would be hilarious if anyone can grab them.
She also said in her live that she's too depressed to masturbate, but she did seem to get off when she blocked someone.

Happy 1000 pages of milky goodness everyone. Cheers!

 

[Umaibae]

That Russian video is incredible. She had to know she was going to be ripped to shreds.

I guarantee there are no women of Tess’ girth utilizing the services of the Downtown Women’s Center (a great place that does great work, and I hate that Two Ton has her meaty claws on them)

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Lmao WHO aside from fat fetishists who sniff roll sweat like used panties is going to blow $20 for a used basic black tank top? You could go to any Walmart or old navy and buy like 4 of them new for $20

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Fellow Russkies have none of it; all these muh phutphobia girls should visit any country outside of the Western World (c) to have some sweet sweet reality check.

I'm relatively newfag to Tess, and before kiwi I knew her from that get-me-up-from-my-knees-fellow-cows gif, so my favourite moments are of recent years:

First of all, her fabulous live disaster of a podcast. Numbers, video angles she can't control, YouTube comments she couldn't edit nor ignore, the fact that producer company yeeted any mention of it from the site before it went past two-thirds of episodes, sheer beauty of embarrassment.

Second would be that young gays’ fashion show where they made her look like a sofa, and when she tried to sexy slip His Hideousness only for it to stuck on her ham of an arm.



And at last, her cow photoshoot and the cover with a dress on her neck because she couldn't get in it


Edit: paragraph was the victim of Error 552

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I see Tess is back to blubbering but instead of in random parking lots, it’s now to her rented minority friends. This is how you know they are being compensated: willing to go online to pretend they care about some humongous white girl’s blubbering over her easily fixable problems, there’s nobody who would do that shit for free. You often hear about how some john will pay a hooker just to listen to his problems and it sounds like she’s doing this here. Tess is so steeped into the sex work industry that she does these things that wouldn’t raise red flags in the circles she’s in but would be weird at a very minimum to everyone else.

Also @AbraCadaver you are spot on with your last post that I can’t quote. I would call it a midlife crisis but there is absolutely no way she’s making it to 70.

 

[multiverse]

Ryann Hoven Brady announced to the world that she wishes she could have aborted her oldest UNGRATEFUL BRAT of a child. She claims to have been prevented from doing so by her family, despite her being a twenty year old adult with a fulltime job of her own at the time.

But she finally made her abortion dreams come true when she was a married woman with a successful career, as a BPD way to punish her BPD husband for their constant bickering. Because apparently, she gave up birth control completely once Nick moved to LA. because she needed to trap the one gay man who would fuck her - despite the fact that she despises children, and being a mother.

She finally made her dream of aborting Rylee come true once he turned 13 and she kicked him out of the house for good.... only to learn that Jolene wasn't going to take Bowie from her permanently.

 

[Water-T]

Ryann Hoven Brady announced to the world that she wishes she could have aborted her oldest UNGRATEFUL BRAT of a child. She claims to have been prevented from doing so by her family, despite her being a twenty year old adult with a fulltime job of her own at the time.

But she finally made her abortion dreams come true when she was a married woman with a successful career, as a BPD way to punish her BPD husband for their constant bickering. Because apparently, she gave up birth control completely once Nick moved to LA. because she needed to trap the one gay man who would fuck her - despite the fact that she despises children, and being a mother.

She finally made her dream of aborting Rylee come true once he turned 13 and she kicked him out of the house for good.... only to learn that Jolene wasn't going to take Bowie from her permanently.

View attachment 2513372

The question is, is Tess being honest, or just hopping on the latest Cause Du Jour?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

What a terrible thing for Rylee to see.

"Yes, baby, I wanted to get rid of you, but family pushed me into having you! But I love you, so it's all ok! Now where's that cake?"

You had an abortion, you had your reasons. I may not agree with them, but it's not my uterus.
But why would you post something like this for your kids to see?
Does Rylee see this and think "if it wasn't for my grandparents, I wouldn't be here?"

 

[Pina Colada]

Ryann Hoven Brady announced to the world that she wishes she could have aborted her oldest UNGRATEFUL BRAT of a child. She claims to have been prevented from doing so by her family, despite her being a twenty year old adult with a fulltime job of her own at the time.

But she finally made her abortion dreams come true when she was a married woman with a successful career, as a BPD way to punish her BPD husband for their constant bickering. Because apparently, she gave up birth control completely once Nick moved to LA. because she needed to trap the one gay man who would fuck her - despite the fact that she despises children, and being a mother.

She finally made her dream of aborting Rylee come true once he turned 13 and she kicked him out of the house for good.... only to learn that Jolene wasn't going to take Bowie from her permanently.

View attachment 2513372

Wow, that's so fucking low I'm surprised she didn't collapse into a sinkhole (though that itself is inevitable with her weight alone). Way to make Rylee loathe you even more; I don't blame him for turning his back one bit. Look at all the family photos she's posted and he's barely smiling save for when he's not right next to the braphog.

(Edited for clarity, fucking DDOS attacks)

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Poor Rylee man

 

[Constellationzero]

Ryann Hoven Brady announced to the world that she wishes she could have aborted her oldest UNGRATEFUL BRAT of a child. She claims to have been prevented from doing so by her family, despite her being a twenty year old adult with a fulltime job of her own at the time.

But she finally made her abortion dreams come true when she was a married woman with a successful career, as a BPD way to punish her BPD husband for their constant bickering. Because apparently, she gave up birth control completely once Nick moved to LA. because she needed to trap the one gay man who would fuck her - despite the fact that she despises children, and being a mother.

She finally made her dream of aborting Rylee come true once he turned 13 and she kicked him out of the house for good.... only to learn that Jolene wasn't going to take Bowie from her permanently.

View attachment 2513372

I dO rEgReT tHaT mY cHoIcE wAs nOt mInE eNtIrElY

Confirmed for one of those whores who feels it is a United Nations and NATO established human right that she is OWED a teenage/young adult party lifestyle and somehow Rylee and Ryann's MAWM roo-int it.

 

[Easy Peasy]

Forever team Rylee. Keep thriving away from your asshole mom. We're all cheering for you buddy

 

[Gramlol]

Forever team Rylee. Keep thriving away from your asshole mom. We're all cheering for you buddy

Rylee is the hero of this thread lol. We're all rooting for him!

 

[Oscar Winner]

Post #20000 from @multiverse being the last comment for the 1000th page succinctly sums up what an absolute shitcunt (worst Aussie insult) Tess is. She deserves this thread, all the trolling, insults, and criticism she gets, sleepless nights, heartache and tears. The only thing she doesn't deserve, is to be called a mother, let alone a good one. It explains why she does the absolute bare minimum as a mum, it's not just because she's lazy and stupid, it's also because her kids are failed man-traps and she resents them for it.
I got this from her stories just over 48 hours ago, didn't seem relevant until now.
Poor Rylee.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Nobody cares what your thoughts on abortion are on Tubby Tess Holliday’s thread.

You just know that this isn’t the first time she’s said it. Little surprise why Rylee isn’t with her and it was unlikely he had to be dragged kicking and screaming to go to someone else’s place.

Whoever said that the Tubbster uses these kids as man traps are spot on. Except they never work because Ryann is an objectively terrible person. A shame Rylee has a shit mom and doesn’t know what his dad is but sounds like he does well in school and isn’t fat so he’s playing the hand he’s dealt to the best of his abilities.

 

[Sweet Potatoes]

She already has done epic corn rows, she is uncancellable

Did that shoot ever come out? IIRC she was really hyping it up.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Did that shoot ever come out? IIRC she was really hyping it up.

So far, no. I assume someone intervened and said, "Oh hell, no," because Tess herself hasn't got the brains to realize that cornrows are not a good look.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Did that shoot ever come out? IIRC she was really hyping it up.

She was so high on her own narc supply with her rented minority friends that it’s likely they broke kayfabe to tell her that not only will it not work, they will leave her fat white ass behind and tell the public all the dumb shit she’s said to them.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Aaaaanywho:
More on abortions (how about pregnant fathers, Tess?)

Watch me “being vulnerable” and share my “lived experience” (and blacken phalanx)

Anyway, here's #thisass and my struggle to look at the mirrors

 

[MagmaStalker]

How would you even fuck something like that? I mean really, how does her gunts gunt have a gunt?