Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories

[Broseph]

A few weeks ago I went to the movies for the first time in over two years which was pretty autistic on my part since most movies nowadays are fucking terrible and are not worth paying to see, and the movie I watched was Don't Breathe 2, which was an autistic movie not worth paying to see.

Anyways, the movie got out pretty late around 11 at night and as I'm walking out the door amongst a small crowd of people I see this...androgynous thing walking in front of me. I couldn't tell if this person was male or female since I only saw the back of their head and it was very short and fat, but I'm assuming it was a guy since they had a shaved bald head. This is where it gets really autistic as this person was wearing a ratty old flannel shirt and I swear to god Hot Topic Tripp pants with all the zippers and tassels complete with goth boots straight out of 2002, like who the fuck still wears that stuff?

I watched this thing saunter down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette until they disappeared from my line of sight. I never got a look at this weirdo's face but I'm guessing they had to have been at least 40 years old.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

Ran into a convenience store before work to grab cigarettes and coffee and the cashier is this fat wigger chick on her phone twirling her hair and giggling “yeah daddy, y’all be able to make uh withdrawal daddy tee hee hee” immediately stops talking when I get to the counter, her face goes slack into this doughy bovine dipshit look, doesn’t say a word and immediately after the transaction picks up the phone and goes back to her white trash idea of flirting like nothing happened.

weird

I see so many of those types where I live. Fat, homely mudsharks who all share that same vacant, cud-chewing expression. Barely sentient brood mares who were seemingly put on this planet for the sole purpose of befouling the gene pool even further with equally stupid children.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

Today had gorgeous weather. Sunny, strong breeze. One of those late summer days that just blows you away.

And as I was leaving this morning, I saw this fucking comedian across the street wearing a mask and a plexiglass shield. I almost asked him where his bulbous red nose, wig, and oversized shoes were.

 

[soft breathing]

... and today in 'what the fuck is wrong with humans':
There's this couple I've known for a bit;
She's an average woman, bit chubby, super self-conscious, always complaining about herself but not changing much - you know the type;
He's a pretty attractive lad, well-spoken, high-paying job, well educated - you also know the type.

I met them recently and he spotted a black eye. Of course I asked what happened, and he got all awkward, tried avoiding the question etc. She then, very proudly, announced that she was the one giving it to him; because he 'came too close to her' at night. Started ranting about how she hates being touched by men (she added more details how she's actually a lesbian... what?), and he knows that 'all he gets are 10 seconds and no cuddles', yadda yadda. Tmi much?

I just stood there, dumbfounded, until I asked him 'dude, do you need help? are you getting threatened or abused?'. But he just chuckled, shaking his head, and shrugged while she went all 'he's a dude, as if i could or would abuse him' on me.

Honestly, the whole situation was extremely surreal and I still have no idea what to do with it. I mean, he's an adult, I can't do more than offer him my help, I guess? I just honestly don't know what he's even doing in that wreck of a relationship to begin with; especially since she pretty much stated that he's just a time-killer until she gets a cute girl or some shit.

 

[DoomsdayElite]

I saw a chick leaving a CVS with a shirt that said "We Can't Breathe". Wearing a mask, of course.

 

[seri0us]

I saw a chick leaving a CVS with a shirt that said "We Can't Breathe". Wearing a mask, of course.

I CAN'T SNEEEEED

 

[Super Guido]

There used to be a kid at the summer camp I went to ages ago who seemed to regularly get into physical altercations with the camp counselors. He'd full-on charge and try to headbutt them or something. I wasn't in the same group as he was, so I have absolutely no idea what started it - I'd just see him tackling the counselor and getting restrained.

Speaking of being kicked out, at the same camp, there was a girl in my bunk who got kicked out because she kept trying to eat rocks. She didn't really do much otherwise except swing from side-to-side and recite incorrect lyrics from a Backstreet Boys parody. One time she pissed herself without warning - just kinda stood there and started whizzing. I think people did fuck with her but I can't remember any details; honestly, with how not-there she was, I don't see the point.

There was one kid in sped middle school who absolutely nobody liked, though he wasn't mean. He just had no inside voice and stuttered, so he was basically screaming in a Downsy voice whenever he spoke. "WHY-WHY-WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT ON YOUR DESK, MRS. (NAME)?" His pants kept falling down, so people used to try and stick a pencil there whenever he bent down. He would run jokes into the ground, like someone said "Great Barrier Beef" instead of Reef. Eventually I straight up told him it wasn't funny anymore but I don't remember if he understood that since this was almost two decades ago. He also had a thing for atomic clocks but I don't remember why.

Also one of the kids there punched that teacher in the stomach when she was pregnant, which led to her quitting, though she had problems with management and used that as an out.

 

[NerdShamer]

I think people did fuck with her but I can't remember any details; honestly, with how not-there she was, I don't see the point

Kids are cruel, at times. Sometimes, it's done out of jealousy; others, it's on easy targets.

 

[Super Guido]

Kids are cruel, at times. Sometimes, it's done out of jealousy; others, it's on easy targets.

Usually when I did shit like that, it was because telling them what they were doing wrong wasn't getting them to stop. Some kids do fuck with others for funsies, though. I know I fucked with the sped in middle school because he was so obnoxious and seemed unable to stop himself. Sometimes I think about him and wonder if he ever finally learned what an indoor voice sounded like.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

I go to a restaurant to place an order and wait to take the food home. I notice this foul stench, like a combination of shit and rotten meat. I turn around and notice this troon standing there. I walk to the other side of the room which seems to upset him. A few minutes after they leave, I return to the spot I was originally standing and the smell is gone. Fuck, did this person not bath or are they suffering from gangrene?

 

[NerdShamer]

I go to a restaurant to place an order and wait to take the food home. I notice this foul stench, like a combination of shit and rotten meat. I turn around and notice this troon standing there. I walk to the other side of the room which seems to upset him. A few minutes after they leave, I return to the spot I was originally standing and the smell is gone. Fuck, did this person not bath or are they suffering from gangrene?

Decaying neovag.

 

[Clockwork_PurBle]

I saw a chick leaving a CVS with a shirt that said "We Can't Breathe". Wearing a mask, of course.

I saw someone wearing a mask that said "COVID VACCINATED" on it.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Reading a “meet our members” bio of a couple who belong to a community group I’m thinking of joining. The wife is a lawyer but her hobby is hand-painting Disney characters on shoes. The husband is a doctor whose hobby is working out. In their spare time, they “watch and re-watch their favorite Disney movies together.” I’m tempted to join the group just so I can meet these weirdos and have fodder for this thread.

Similarly, my sister-in-law is obsessed with Disney. She’s divorced with a 10 year old daughter who she keeps dragging to the time-share at Disney World that she bought into and can ill-afford. The girl is sweet and not that nuts about Disney. Her mother drags her to Florida in August at the height of the humidity just to soak up Disney vibes. Last time they flew home four days early because it was so humid and miserable. But what kind of adult even WANTS to plan a 14-day trip to Disney?!

Disney freaks make me glad I saw hardly any of it as a kid (and have not bothered trying to fill in all the gaps).

 

[Sped Xing]

I always wonder how people scrape together the money for these insane expenses, but perhaps the wonderful ability to scare up four grand at the blink of an eye in inextricable from the compulsion to then spend five grand on human-sized sculptures of the Scooby Doo cast.

A strange curse.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I always wonder how people scrape together the money for these insane expenses, but perhaps the wonderful ability to scare up four grand at the blink of an eye in inextricable from the compulsion to then spend five grand on human-sized sculptures of the Scooby Doo cast.

A strange curse.

In many cases I think it’s just an ability and willingness to accrue massive credit card debt. I’d love to sit in on a meeting between an autistic cow and their bankruptcy trustee as the latter tries to understand why the person lived in a squalorous shithole but regularly shit out thousands of dollars for rare Pokémon cards or spent the same for outings at the American Girl Doll Store hair salon and tea room with their “best friend” dolls.

 

[Loona]

About an hour ago I was eating lunch and I saw this hispanic lady who was probably in her 50s. She was wearing a shirt that said “FAUCI” in big letters on the front.

 

[Blasterisk]

About an hour ago I was eating lunch and I saw this hispanic lady who was probably in her 50s. She was wearing a shirt that said “FAUCI” in big letters on the front.

Maybe she's pals with the old guy I saw who wore a cloth mask over a loose-nose N95 atop a beard.

 

[Cabelaz]

One time at lunch some obviously autistic kid touched another autistic kid while they were eating and scared the shit out of them. After having a chimpout, he quickly started beating the shit out of the offender. Brutally. He pulled the straw out of his Hi-C and was ready to gouge his eye out. The school cop had to disarm him.

On the football team we had a high functioning autist we'd field in the last play of the game for pity. He was fucking hilarious in the locker room though, and he had a love for "dank kush" and "bougie bitches." We may or may not of given him the shittiest blunt ever for laughs.
He was also aggressive as fuck too and had no comprehension of safety when he was let loose. It was really funny to have a freshman get fucking ran over by him because he was 6ft and fat.

They used to take pictures of us during the game because we're all vain teenagers and his was him trying to squirt the water bottle into his mouth, but him spraying his eye instead. That's a gem.

Also when I worked at little Caesars some obese mexican sped would come in and order fucking 6 stuffed crust pizzas at 11am every day. It wasn't uncommon to see him come back for seconds.

 

[Shibaru]

I've seen kids kicking and screaming in stores before, especially one time I Walked into a gas station, and all I was trying to do was buy $10 worth of gas... that kid was like rolling around on the floor screaming n shit holding a bag of Ritz Bits, I just couldn't look away from it; that's how loud and obnoxious it was.

 

[The Fraggle Queen]

Mr. Fraggle gave me permission to share some of his cursed stories from when he worked retail as a teenager.

Just after he left sixth form college (so aged 1 he got a job working in a store called CEX here in the UK. For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s a chain of stores that sell secondhand tech/video games/movies at semi decent prices. This, however, attracts autists aplenty.

He had one customer come in with his carer every week, and every week without fail the kid would ask the store to buy his copy of Sonic Colours for the DS off him. Every week, the box he’d bring in would have either no game or a copy of a completely different game in. When the staff were like “no, dude, go away” he’d go into a tard rage and throw stuff off the shelves. He eventually got banned from the store.

This was mid-2010s, and the population of absolute creatures that enter the store is so vast that some of the stores in the franchise now have dedicated autism hours. Probably to confine them to a specific time so they don’t bother the regular customers. I haven’t shopped there in years and my partner avoids it like the plague, but occasionally his ex-manager will text us and go “you won’t believe what’s happened today here”, so I’m assuming the spuds are still going strong.